Huzzah, finally got a new crack up….although can I call it crack…I don't do crack….and I'm not allowed Sugar ;w;

Disclaimer: I don't not own Vesperia, Justin, Caryn, NPCS, RANDOM ANIME PHRASES, MUSIC, and endorsement deals that may or may not be shown.

I do have permission to use Justin and Caryn though, they're my bitches :D

I do own myself, Kairi, and this fic….cause none if it is entirely following Vesperia protocol and I wouldn't call this work as it is…although….It's the New Year, my mother has me on a diet….so these are no longer sugar induced…..which makes it so hard to write T-T so I call this WORK! *sobs*


Goliath: *moving around with his dick all floppy*

It's supposed to be erect….That's so wrong….ESTELLE! Inflate it!

Estelle: YES!

Everyone else: NO!

B-But it's just….wagging in our faces!

Estelle: It's so huge~ *moans* I don't think it'll fit in my mouth more so my-

Yuri: Keep it clean you two! WE HAVE CHILDREN PRESENT!

You tell him to be clean! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT WITH THAT DICK IN MAH FACE?!

Estelle: *flies by after Goliath smacks her with his dick* Ahhhhnnnn, so rough….*starry rape eyes* I DIDN'T KNOW HE LIKED IT ROUGH!

Yuri: Kids….Advert your eyes….

Kairi: It's about to get R rated…

Rita and Karol: *pretend to cover their eyes, but peak through fingers*

[Intermission while Estelle somehow transcends the logic and dynamics of physics and fucks Goliath into submission]

Yuri: …How did she even….?

Kairi: …*mutters* So would Yuri like it like that? Or some other position? Maybe somehow involving my breasts...

Estelle: What…already done….but it wasn't enough D:

Down bitch, we got that weird ass mofo that ran off to catch, you can have him after we're done interrogating.

Yuri: Right! Let's go get him and take back the aqua blastia!

Sponge Bob Narrator: A few moments later.

Random mage guy: Sorry, your aqua blastia is in another dungeon.

Yuri: FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[Video statics as Yuri fucking broke the damn camera with his sheer cry of rage alone, please wait, our mechanics will bring you back to the program shortly]

[Commercial with Ferghus: WEAPON REPAIRS! YOU MUST BRING THEM TO ME! Now including a 100% repair rate fix at 4,567% the original price, because extortion WORKS!]

[Camera back to the future where everyone is on with their happy lives, including pairing spoilers of- scene cuts off back to the group in Aspio]

*tackles Yuri* Fuck, he makes a good pillow…

Yuri: I AIN'T NO DAMN PILLOW!

*pinches chest* This squishy water pillow says other wise~

Kairi: *pouty*

Yuri: Fuck, now I gotta exercise….

Rita: WTF Get a room you two!

Don't want to Zzzzzzz

Yuri: Isn't this the part where you deny it?

Fuck it, let them think we're banging each other, Kairi can get uber jealous and Estelle may leave you alone.

Yuri: Fair enough…

Alright enough resting. Lets just set up camp to head for Harbor 1.

Yuri: Isn't is Nor Har-

Harbor 1. I give no shets, that place is so fucked up anyways, always some problem happening for those people.

[Magically warped to the field with a camp all set and fancy ass food served, cause cooking takes too much effort! Who the fuck invented cooking anyways! *nom nom*]

Morning now! Time to go to Halure then to Harbor 1! *puff of smoke in front of the Mayor's house*

Mayor: You're the people who raided my damn fridge! Get off my property!

Rita: I don't give a thot about you, I'mma go look at the blastia cause…..blastia…*leaves*

Yuri: I'll go get her.

Nah give it a second.

Rita: *poofs back to the front* WTF!

Plot demands you stay here, now look, it's the Gay Fish and Perverted Midget!

Gay Fish: I am not a Gay Fish, I say!

Pervit: Nor am I a perverted midget!

Not according to the text in this fiction with your names.

Gay Fish and Pervit: FFFFUUUUUUUUUU-

*We all kick their asses before they break the damn camera*

Leblanc: My men! How dares joo!

Yuri: Not our fault they're so damn weak.

Good, now protect us, cause we gotta go on the run.

Leblanc: What?

Yuri: We do?

Knife…

Yuri: What?

Kairi: Yuri! RUN! *Dragging Yuri before the Red Eye's knives cut off his LUXURIOUS DELICIOUS SPARKLY ASS HAIR!*

Yuri: WHOA! Thanks!

Estelle: Wait for me! I still need to bang Flyn- I mean catch up with Flynn! *runs*

Rita: HOLD ON! YOU'RE RUNNING OFF WITH MY PINK BIT-I MEAN RESEARCH SUBJECT! *runs*

Karol: How much will you pay me….?

Hmmmm, 200 gald…

Karol: Fair enough….GYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! *runs*

*puts on Deal with It shades, walking out of Halure like a boss while Leblanc proceeds to be blown up which kills all the red eyes, but he survives cause he's a fucking IMMORTAL!*


Meh, I don't think I did…too…badly…..ok it sucks, but come on, I need my sugar ;w; the sugar I can't have T-T