Tweek
When Tweek had been six, his parents had taken him to a coffee convention somewhere near South Park. It hadn't been particularly big, or even especially interesting, but it stuck out in his young mind nonetheless. After getting to the hall in which they were holding the convention, Tweek's parents had almost instantly vanished, leaving him to watch over their stall. And usually Tweek would have stayed, but eventually he'd started to get really hungry, and even though it was a coffee convention, there was a surprising lack of coffee that he was actually allowed to drink.
So he'd wandered off, despite being absolutely terrified of doing so, because it was either move or starve, and the idea of starving was just horrifying enough that he figured the alternative was better. Except as a small, nervous, child who screamed every time someone almost stepped on him, Tweek hadn't exactly had any advantages over his surroundings. It had taken minutes for him to get horribly lost.
Maybe if his parents had cared a little more and the call over the PA to the parents of Tweek Tweak had actually produced results, things wouldn't have gotten so bad. But after a particularly gaunt and learning security guard had almost shut him away in one of the back rooms, the boy had run off once more.
After ending up in the dark, maze like basements of the convention hall, starving, dehydrated, and almost catatonic with with fear, Tweek's parents had finally remembered that they had a child and bothered to come find him. Then, after a dead end story from his father about cornfields, he'd been taken home and locked in the basement there so he could sort the new coffee beans that they'd purchased. It had been… pretty typical, actually.
Why was he thinking of this right now?
Well, maybe that had something to do with the fact that he was, once again, lost.
Craig ran a hand over his face. "Fuck," he muttered, once again. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck-" It was obvious from just his tone alone that the Noirette was stressing out, however mutedly.
"Oh god," Tweek whimpered, tugging on his hair obsessively and shivering as he stared down at the rushing creek that almost seemed to mock them with it's cheer. "Oh god, w-we're lost. We're never going to see anyone ever again." His teeth kept repeatedly sinking into his lip, gnawing it to pieces. The coppery taste of blood only made the panic worse. "We're going to -ngh- die out here. We're going to die and the vultures are going to eat us and no one is ever going to even care-"
Roughly, Craig suddenly seized him around the shoulders and spun him around so he could look fiercely into Tweek's eyes. "We're not going to die," the Noirette growled, his eyes going dark. "We're going to be fine." There was something so dark in the boy's gaze, Tweek felt his already scrambled mind get worse. Why does he sound like that? Why is he acting like this!?
Shaking harder, the blond struggled to get away from Craig as the boy's grip on his arms grew almost painful. "There's n-no way out!" he yelled, his voice fluctuating as the fear clawed its way into his brain and tore it apart. "Oh god, w-we're on a mountain, and it's g-getting dark, and Jesus! ACK WHERE EVEN ARE WE!?"
"Stop panicking!" Craig commanded, but Tweek's terror wouldn't let him go. All he could think about was the fact that the world kept getting darker and shadows kept getting longer and even Craig was distorting. He couldn't see right, his whole body was wracked with tremors. An anxiety attack, I'm having a panic attack. But knowing that didn't make it go away. And the Noirette was looming over him and suddenly there just wasn't enough air to breathe. He needed space, he needed oxygen.
"AUGH IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tearing himself away from Craig, Tweek stumbled backward as he fought the darkness that was clouding his mind. His heavy bag, which he'd been doing a remarkable job of handling up until then, was suddenly throwing him off ballance, making him tip over. Letting out a shriek, Tweek lost his footing and pitched backwards. Except he didn't just land on his back, no, instead he was falling, plummeting downward for what felt like an unholy length of time.
Falling down-
-Down-
-down-
-CRASH!
And then everything was icy and cold as water closed over him. Struggling fruitlessly against the frigid tendrils of water that closed over him, denying him access to air or warmth, Tweek fought desperately to get out of the water, tried to find the surface, but he couldn't see anything. Everything was black and cold and airless and he was suffocating. Another scream tore itself from his lungs except he didn't have the air to do that, and suddenly his lungs were filling with liquid. It was so much worse than any horrifying hallucination he'd had before, it was painful and freezing and-
And then it didn't matter anymore, because the darkness was closing over his vision and Tweek's body was shutting down. Limbs simply ceasing to respond to him, Tweek's eyes closed as even the cold stopped existing. This is it, I'm actually dying. It wasn't nearly as climatic as Tweek had always thought it would be.
For some reason, even though his brain wasn't working, all he could see was an image of Craig. He was glowing, like he had stars under his skin, like his very blood was made of galaxies and those scars on his arms were comets. Even though Tweek sort of knew it would be the last thing he ever saw, he honestly didn't mind much. It was so much more comforting than the dark, which scared him more than anything. He'd die illuminated by Craig's starlight, and that wasn't really a bad way to go.
Heh, I wish I could tell Craig.
So then he'd know what it's like to go to space.
Abruptly, the image vanished as his world flipped upside down. Something hard hit his back and Tweek found himself coughing violently as the water he'd inhaled was rapidly expelled from his lungs. As his senses started returning, he became aware of the chill forcing him to shiver hard enough to send him collapsing to the ground. At once however, there were arms there propping him up, holding his upper body up so he could continue to cough, pushing the rest of the water out of him.
Sucking in a desperate breath, Tweek found himself throwing up, emptying his stomach of the coffee he'd drunk earlier and the bite that Craig had given him from his sandwich. Putrid smells bringing him further out of the darkness of his mind, Tweek ended up stumbling out of the hold on him, falling backwards where he curled up, shivering hard enough to jar his brain. One benefit of this, if there really was one, seemed to be that his panic attack was over.
The downside was probably everything else.
I'm not dead, Tweek realized, then, What happened?
His unasked question was answered a moment later as warm arms pulled him upright and Tweek peeled his eyes open at last. Craig was suddenly there, his eyes wide and terrified, his usually calm face contorted in horror that quickly melted into relief. Then Tweek was being crushed in a hug that made him feel like he couldn't breathe again. Except this was an okay breathlessness because Craig was there and he'd saved Tweek from drowning.
"You're alive," the Noirette choked out, his words strangled. "Fuck, I thought you'd drowned, I thought you were dead, you're alive." Those words, out of everything, were what made Tweek start to cry. Pathetically perhaps, his whole body still contorted with shivers, the blond let loose with a frightened, heavy sob that was followed by several others.Oh god, I almost died. I almost drowned. Clinging to Craig, twitching and shaking, Tweek just let the fear he'd felt manifest itself in the form of tears pouring down his face. He couldn't think, there was no room in his brain for thought.
Vaguely, he could feel the taller boy pulling him onto his lap, stroking fingers through his wet hair and rubbing his back soothingly. Craig was murmuring things into his ear, but Tweek couldn't understand what he was saying. As his sobs left him without breath, Tweek found himself coughing once more, hacking coughs that were interspersed with more crying. Through it all Craig never let go of him, he just kept doing everything he could to calm the blond down. All with that slow, steady voice that grounded Tweek better than anything else could have.
"I'm sorry," Craig whispered, his words horace. "Fuck, I'm so sorry Tweek. This is my fault." No, it wasn't. Except his lungs and vocal chords were too painful at that moment to make those words known. It was all he could do to start to stifle his sobbing, trying to draw himself back together. Tears were still coursing down his cheeks, but at least now he was a little more aware of his surroundings. Noticing the fact that Craig's jeans were soaked but his shirt wasn't, Tweek was able to put together what had happened after he'd gone under.
He must have jumped in and pulled me out. I can't believe he'd do that, I can't believe he would just throw himself into danger without thinking about it. Unable to voice this, Tweek just buried his face in Craig's shoulder and shivered hard enough to almost make his body hurt. Around them, the forest kept getting darker, but all he could focus on was Craig. That's all he wanted to focus on, honestly. Because Craig was the reason he was still alive, and Craig wouldn't let him die, no matter what.
"It's going to be okay," the Noirette promised, even though his voice was shaking. "I promise, you're going to be okay."
Slowly, eventually, Tweek ran out of tears. As his mind started to calm down, he became increasingly aware of how cold he was. It was so much deeper than the chill of running around in the middle of winter without a shirt on, this was an ice that went down to the bone. Even Craig's warm arms couldn't cut through the shivering. Teeth knocking together, Tweek pulled back and mumbled, "I'm c-cold."
Abruptly, like Tweek's words had yanked him out of whatever trance he'd been in, the Noirette looked down at him and swore loudly. "Your pack's still down in the creek," Craig told him, his face pinching together. "Fuck. I couldn't pull you out with it, I'm sorry." Helplessly almost, the boy knelt before him and attempted to speak only to hang his head and repeat. "I'm sorry."
"No!" Tweek said fiercely, glaring at Craig. "You s-saved me! D-don't apologize!" Unless he wishes he hadn't saved me… No, he wasn't going to let his mind go down that path. Of course Craig cared, he knew that, and this proved it just that much more.
As if he'd read Tweek's stray thoughts, Craig instantly said, "I'm not sorry for that." There was such an intensity to Craig's gaze that for a moment, Tweek's breath caught, but then the shivering jittered him back into motion. "But it's my fault that you fell."
"N-no, I was p-panicking," Tweek pushed out, shaking his head hard. "It's n-not your f-fault." As a particularly hard shiver pulsed through him, Tweek wrapped his arms around his body and clenched his teeth closed in an attempt to stop the infernal clicking. Reaching for Tweek, Craig's eyes widened and he jerked back. Confused, Tweek turned with him, suddenly hit with a bolt of fear that the Noirette was going to leave him here.
But instead, he just found Craig scrambling over a fallen tree, headed for the other side of the creek where he'd left his pack. Drawing up his knees to his chin, Tweek watched as the boy grabbed for his pack and called back, "I don't have that much extra clothes, but I brought some stuff." Attempting to stand so he could follow Craig, Tweek found himself just falling back to the ground. His whole body shook, the tremors far too powerful to fight.
"B-but you got w-wet too," Tweek called out, worry making his brows pinch together. "Jesus man, w-what if you freeze?!"
"I'll dry off," Craig said flatly, already headed back for Tweek. For a moment, the blond wanted to scream because Craig bobbled on the makeshift bridge, but then he was safely on the other side of the bank and he was kneeling back beside Tweek so he could pull the things out of his bag. It was significantly smaller than Tweek's pack had been, but the Noirette had managed to cram a spare set of clothes in the bottom. For that, the blond was eternally grateful, even though he wished he had the willpower to insist that Craig keep them for himself.
"I c-could dry off too," Tweek stubbornly insisted, even though Craig was already helping pull his sopping clothes off of him. Submitting to the boy's hands, Tweek just let himself be stripped of the wet green button up he'd been wearing and watched as it was replaced with a tee shirt. Staring down at the familiar Red Racer logo, Tweek picked at the dry polyester and inhaled a smell that his jumbled brain somehow identified as being wholly Craig. It was comforting, and he wished he could sink into it.
"Yeah, well you won't dry off as fast," Craig reasoned out, his voice already returned to normal. Tweek could still see the fear and the guilt in the back of the Noirette's eyes, and he knew that he had to get rid of it before it made things awkward, but for now, he just let the other boy pull his jeans off. Even though Craig's clothing was far too big on him, it cut through the chill quickly, decreasing his shivering enough that he could move more easily. He was about to pull his arms back in and attempt to warm the bare skin there up too, when Craig pulled out the thin hoodie he'd also brought and put it on Tweek, zipping it up right to his chin.
"There," the boy said, sounding at least marginally satisfied with himself. "Now you won't freeze."
"I w-wasn't gonna freeze before," Tweek pushed back, admittedly a little uncertainly. Because he was pretty sure he could have frozen, and he didn't want to think about that. Looking around wishing that he still had his own things, the blond found himself fearfully crawling to the banks of the creek so he could see into the water. His pack, which was still there just as Craig had said, was caught on some rocks, and had water rushing over it, almost like it was part of the scenery.
"I should probably get that," Craig muttered. Before Tweek could say anything, the Noirette jumped down the small riverbank and landed back in the water, not caring, or at least pretending not to care, about the cold liquid racing around him.
"Jesus, g-get out of there!" Tweek yelped, his fingers digging into the dirt as he twitched violently and stared down at his friend. "Ngh- You'll drown!"
"I'm fine," Craig said firmly, hopping over to the pack and tugging it free of the current. Struggling under its weight slightly, no doubt because of the additional water now contained in it, Craig stumbled back towards the bank and managed to heave the soaked carrier onto the dirt and stone beside Tweek.
Watching nervously as Craig at last pulled himself up as well, Tweek waited until the boy was safe before he jumped to his feet and seized the Noirette in a stubborn hug. "D-don't do stupid things for me," Tweek insisted, his heart racing. After almost drowning, he couldn't help his fear, he was pretty sure that it was natural even. "It's enough that you -rrr- saved me."
For a second, Craig froze, then he pulled Tweek in tightly and mumbled, "Okay." Though it was only one word, Tweek knew how much was held in it. Craig had never been good at showing his emotions, but the blond was good at reading him, so it didn't really matter any more. Because he could simply feel the tension leak out of Craig, and hear the way the boy's breath leveled out once more. Far from happy, but feeling much more secure, Tweek stepped back and was almost relieved to find Craig ruffling his wet hair.
There was a moment where they both managed to smile slightly, as Tweek at least grounded himself in the feeling of being there and being alive, then Craig frowned, and almost instantly the reality of their situation returned to the blond. We're still lost. Though it made him shiver in fear, Tweek struggled to keep himself calm. "S-so what are we gonna do?" he asked, biting his tender lip and whimpering slightly at the pain.
Drawing them both back further from the riverbank, Craig was silent for a moment before saying, "I don't know, it's getting late." How late, neither of them knew, but Tweek was almost scared to find out. Without a clock, he had no way of knowing how much time had passed. Had they been gone for only a little while? An hour? Five? Was it nighttime? Were the others even looking for them? He wished it was a stupid question, but the fact of the matter was, they hadn't heard anything, and had no way of knowing if someone was looking or not.
"Ghn-" Stifling the involuntary sounds that wanted to escape from his mouth, Tweek twitched and tried to think of the right course of action. No one had ever told him what to do if he was lost, or if they had then he hadn't been listening. Last time he'd been lost, he'd wandered around and only gotten more lost, so he wasn't exactly the best person to ask. "It's really dark out, w-what if we miss them?" Tweek asked nervously.
As though coming to an internal decision, Craig said, "You're right, we should probably wait until tomorrow to look for them." Allowing the Noirette to wrap a comforting arm around his shoulders, Tweek just listened as the boy continued, "You're supposed to stay still if you're lost, so we should just wait for them to find us or something."
I guess that makes sense. But what if they just look in the other direction and they can't find us? What if they get lost too? What if no one can find us and we never get out? He wanted to panic again, but Tweek knew what had happened the last time he'd freaked out, and he couldn't let that happen again. So he just focused on the heavy feeling of Craig's arm and tried not to think about getting hurt or dying at all.
Unfortunately, reality was a little too pressing to entirely ignore. "Jesus, d-does this mean we have to s-sleep out here?" Mind filling with images of terrifying monsters and terrifying animals that could kill him, Tweek squeaked, "Oh god, th-that's too much pressure!"
"It'll be fine," Craig reassured him instantly. "Like falling asleep on my roof." Remembering that night clearly, a day close to the end of the school year, Tweek felt some of his shivers decrease. Of course logically he knew that it'd be nothing like that, but the Noirette's voice was soothing, and Tweek wanted desperately to believe that they'd be okay.
Remembering his pack, which was still sitting there where Craig had left it, Tweek let out a sharp sound before diving forward and hurriedly unzipping his pack. Dodging the deluge of water that flowed out, Tweek started pawing through what they had. Most of it was ruined, the food he'd had was waterlogged and disgusting, so he tossed it into the creek, hoping that any potential wild animals wouldn't smell it and find them.
As he dug, he twitchily told Craig, "Rrr- I didn't know what would happen, s-so I packed a tarp that I found in our backroom. It smells like coffee, but w-we can still use it like a tent or something." Holding it up, watching as the water started to slide off of it, Tweek looked over at Craig, who had an odd expression on his face. "What?" Tweek squeaked in confusion.
Shaking his head, Craig muttered, "Nothing," before stepping forward and taking the tarp from Tweek. "I guess we could use it. Probably better than nothing." Looking at the rest of the things that were now spilled out over the ground, Craig bent down unexpectedly and when he popped back up, he was holding a familiar silver container.
Letting out a squeal, Tweek snatched it up and pawed the lid off. Because the container was airtight in the first place, the coffee inside was not only still warm, but completely untouched by the river water. Sucking it down greedily, Tweek shivered as the heat from the coffee ran through to his very toes. Eyes flicking back up to Craig, the blond managed a sheepish smile that had the taller boy dropping one corner of the tarp so he could ruffle Tweek's hair.
"Everything else in there isn't going to be much good," Craig observed, somewhat regretfully as he stared down at the bag. Tweek shivered and looked at the extra clothing he'd packed, now nothing but soaked lumps. Wait, one of them is the shirt that Craig got me! I can't just leave it here! Maybe we should hang it up and let it dry.
"M-maybe we should just stay here," Tweek suggested, looking around twitchily for some sort of shelter and finding nothing obvious. Craig, on the other hand, was already nodding, walking away from Tweek and back towards his pack. Lying out the tarp over the mossy carpet beneath a cluster of trees, where they'd be sort of sheltered by a cleft of rock, Craig dragged his stuff nearer and pulled out the blanket that Mr. Stevens had insisted they all bring one of.
"It's not much," Craig admitted, looking around with that thoughtful expression. "But I don't think this shit's going to get much better tonight."
"If you s-say so," Tweek mumbled, unable to quite dispel his worry. Distracting himself for the time being by grabbing for the wet clothes and lying them out on nearby rocks in the hopes that they'd dry, Tweek found Craig calmly shepherding him towards the tarp, clearly wanting him to stay as close as possible. "I c-can't believe we got lost."
"I don't have a good sense of direction," Craig admitted, tugging his chullo down. "I never have. I get lost a lot, actually…" Trailing off, he stared at his feet, obviously feeling guilty for the whole thing.
"It's not your fault," Tweek said firmly, clenching his fists and staring at Craig. Even though the dark had almost entirely taken over the mountain, Tweek could still see the boy's face and he focused on it. "I w-was distracting you, and we were looking for Clyde and Bebe, so -rrr- it's not just because of you!"
"We're going to get out of this," Craig assured the blond, looking up suddenly. In the light of the moon, which chose that moment to cut through the canopy above, Tweek could see the determined, and vibrant blue of Craig's eyes, and it filled him with courage that he hadn't had before. "We'll find the others, and everything will be fine."
Tipping his chin up stubbornly, Tweek nodded and said, "Y-yeah, we will."
Relaxing slightly, just as Tweek had hoped he would, Craig sat down on the tarp and pulled Tweek down after him. Letting out a grunt of annoyance, the boy wiggled out of his own jeans and muttered, "They'll just make me colder," before throwing them over a nearby rock and tugging the blanket up over the both of them. Instantly huddling up against Craig, drawing on the boy's fearlessness in an attempt to make the shadows seem less dense, Tweek found himself shivering once more as the realization of just how far away from everything they really were.
"I really don't w-want to die," Tweek mumbled, his fingers tightening in the front of Craig's sweatshirt, which he'd managed to keep dry. "I mean -ghn- obviously I'm n-not dying now, but I almost did I think!" Insides crumbling under those thoughts, Tweek fought to breathe normally as Craig's fingers dragged through his drying hair.
"What was it like," Craig asked softly, the words rumbling and sedating.
Unable to put words to it, Tweek opened his mouth soundlessly, before squeaking, "It was like Outer Space. There w-wasn't cold, or warm, or pain, or anything, it w-was just empty and -grrr- you can't even feel your body, it's just… weightlessness."
"Was it scary?" Craig asked, his hand trailing down the nape of Tweek's neck and tracing patterns in his back. Curling up closer to Craig, the blond thought back to the feelings that had been running through him and tried to articulate them.
"A l-little," he recalled, his voice growing distant. "B-but then it wasn't anymore." I saw you, he almost said, the words not coming out for some reason. Instead, he managed, "It was actually… c-comforting." As the words died in the silence, Tweek shut his eyes tightly and whimpered, "Jesus, I wish I was home."
Nudging him, Craig guestured upwards until Tweek twisted so he could follow the boy's hand. "Look at the stars," the Noirette said softly, drawing the boy's attention to the twinkling lights above them. "We're still in Colorado, right? So those are the same stars that are back at home. They never change, they're always there."
Suddenly, he was looking at Craig's ceiling. Or maybe the sky above Token's house, or even Craig's house. Or maybe he was looking at the sky outside of Cartman's house. All he knew was he wasn't stuck on the mountain, and for a moment, he could almost believe he was home. The thought took away the misery that had been encroaching on his mind, and Tweek let out a soft breath of wonder.
"When you look up at them," Craig continued, his finger tracing the familiar patterns. "Just imagine that we're home, because it looks the same."
"Can you list them?" Tweek asked, his voice faint to his own ears.
"Yeah dude," Craig agreed, smiling slightly. And then he did, pointing out one constellation after another. Even though there were trees above them, they had a relatively good view of the sky, and it felt like Craig was listing out star patterns for forever. Falling into the boy's voice, Tweek felt his own consciousness drifting, and even though they were outside on the side of a mountain, hopelessly lost and cold and alone, sleep just seemed to crash over him like a wave.
He didn't fight it. Instead, he just tumbled with it and let his consciousness float away.
