Its been a while, i know! Apologies. So much going on. Thanks for all the reviews! Its great to see that people are interested in the plot etc. Anyway, onward and upward!
Also, just a warning, i don't know whether its because i use a mac now, or something to do with the site but it isn't correcting any language? And i don't mean grammar etc, i mean because I'm Australian I use the English spelling of words, and usually it corrects them to US spelling because of the nature of the site... but now it isn't. So, many sorries!
Enjoy!
Phanty belongs to Leroux and Lloyd Weber.
With Erik's instruction, Caesar walked on.
"Is that the town?" Christine spoke softly.
"Yes." Erik responded. His voice; curt. "But thankfully we needn't go through it. Not that it would be wise at any time for me… but at this time of night there may still be people about the streets. Best just to steer clear. My…" Erik paused and glanced behind him nervously to see whether Christine was listening or not. "The… the house is on the outskirts anyway. Quite far from town."
It was not his house, no. And it never would be. He would sooner burn it down than own to that.
Erik led them back into the cover of the greenery surrounding them. He couldn't be seen… especially in this town.
Christine gazed at her surroundings, eerily lit by the feint hue that can only be associated with sunrise. She had seen her fair share of sunrises over the past few weeks; always traveling while the rest of the world was sleeping. Part of her could not help but wonder whether this was how her life would always be with Erik but whatever doubts or reservations she may have held about her choice had left her when Erik was taken from her. The thought of a life without him made her realize that nothing mattered as long as he was with her. She longed to hold him close at the thought but she knew that even though he would not protest to it, his injuries would. Instead she gently ran her hand over his chest and placed a kiss on his shoulder.
"I love you." She whispered. She hadn't thought he'd heard her; hadn't expected him to as it wasn't really for him to hear… but he did.
"I love you, Christine." He spoke softly.
At these words the need to hold him became dire but she knew that she could not. Not yet.
Soon they had reached their destination…
The foliage began to recede, revealing a small clearing, much like the one around Erik's safe house closer to Paris. Christine felt him tense as they approached the small, double storey cottage in the centre of it. The roof was thatched and while much of it was intact, there were visible holes in the thatching. That would be a problem. The rest of the house seemed quite preserved save for some broken shutters, a smashed window and the general weathering of the place. Christine looked down at what must once have been a garden. Sadly this too had been neglected and was now nothing more than an empty plot of dirt. She chose not to say anything, not just yet. More than likely Erik was still coming to terms with everything himself.
"This house is quite close to town…" Nadir began as he dismounted his horse. "Are we not in danger of being discovered by the authorities?"
Christine looked from Nadir to the man she was holding. He seemed lost in thought but to her surprise he answered his friend.
"We will take care. If we must leave it will be early in the morning of very late at night. The horses will be kept around the back and we will keep the noise and light to a bare minimum. I have thought this through, Daroga. Trust me."
Knowing that arguing with Erik at such a time was hopeless… possibly even dangerous, Nadir gave a slight shrug and approached him. He held his arms out in order to assist Christine in dismounting but Erik swatted them away.
"I can help her, Daroga." He spat.
"Not like this, you can't. Please… save the pride driven speeches for later. I am very tired."
"It is alright, Erik. I should get down first so that I can help you."
Erik cringed. He should be helping her. But he couldn't. And he hated it. Ignoring them both he dismounted as he usually did; by himself. But the swift movement caused his body to scream and as soon as his feet had touched the ground he fell to his knees. The pain was incredible, but It was better than accepting more help than he already had; it was better than accepting that he was weak. He would never be weak again. Not in this house. Not in this town.
"What are you doing!?" Christine cried in anger, crouching down beside him. "Why would you do that!?"
He looked up at her with pained eyes but did not respond. Christine brought her hand to his face, smoothing his hair back affectionately. She shook her head in disapproval.
"When you put yourself through pain, you put me through pain. Can't you see that?"
Erik broke her gaze and looked ahead, placing his hand over his rib with a grimace.
"It's not just you…" She continued. She touched his hand where it lay. "Not anymore."
"Yes." He said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. "I keep forgetting…"
Christine smiled and gestured for Nadir to come to his aid. Together and without his protest they lifted him up from where he knelt. Nadir took the horses behind the house and returned to begin the procedure of helping Erik inside.
"Do you have a key?" Nadir asked genuinely, staring at the door in front of him.
Erik looked at him indignantly before responding.
"Of course I do not have a key, Daroga. This is not my house and I left it at a very young age… and… under fairly unpleasant circumstances…" He looked around for a few moments before resting his gaze on the dishevelled garden beside them. "Thankfully, we are not in need of a key… Christine, would you mind handing me one of those stones from the garden?" Christine did as she was bid. Erik stared at the stone for a few moments before staggering over to one of the front facing windows and hurling the stone at the glass before him.
"What's one more window?" He asked, quite satisfied with his work.
"Well I could have done that." Nadir said.
"Ah. But you wouldn't have." Erik retorted.
"I'll go in and unlock the door." Christine spoke.
"Thank you, my dear." Erik said warmly. He turned to Nadir as Christine was approaching the shattered window. "Help her, Daroga."
"I was going to!" Nadir argued. "You are so frustrating!"
Erik shrugged.
"Be careful of the glass, Christine…" He warned.
"I will." She smiled before taking Nadir's hand and stepping inside the house.
Once inside she peered around. It was dark; gloomy… and a thick layer of dust covered everything inside. There was a small living area which met with a kitchen and a staircase. She walked further in, taking note of the lack of furnishings; no doubt much of what was in the house had been taken over the years and what was left looked very worn. There were no paintings, no frames… no signs at all that this had been a home save for some worn down candles and a small basket beside the hearth of the fire.
Perhaps it was a bed for a pet…?
A bed for a dog…?
"Is everything alright, Christine?" Erik's tired voice called.
"Y-yes." She called. She'd almost forgotten her purpose entirely. "Yes, coming." She made her way back to the front door and opened it to reveal Erik standing beside Nadir, leaning heavily on the doorframe for lack of wanting to lean on his friend.
"What happened?" He asked as he entered, worry etched in the lines of his weary face.
"Nothing I… I was looking around." She admitted before looking down.
Erik eyed her as he approached.
"I see…"
"Alright." Nadir began as he entered the house behind them. "Let's get this over with. Christine, would you mind finding a pot so that we can boil some water and sterilize my equipment? I will go outside and find some wood for the fire." He turned to Erik who was simply standing in the centre of the room, staring at the staircase at the end of it. "Erik… is that hearth stable for a fire?"
Erik did not respond.
"Erik?" Nadir repeated.
"Yes…" He finally replied; his voice distant. "Yes. It should be."
"Alright." Nadir stared at his friend for a moment longer before exiting the house.
"Are you alright?" Christine asked, walking up to Erik and taking his hand in hers. "You must be exhausted. You can rest now… Let's sit down, Erik."
He did not respond.
She followed his gaze.
"What is it? What's wrong?"
"I've made a mistake in coming here." He said, still not meeting her gaze. "We have nowhere else, I know. But… it is too much."
"What is up those stairs?"
Finally Erik turned to look at her.
"My bedroom."
Unsure of what to say, Christine did not respond. She took his hand and placed a kiss upon his bruised knuckles.
"I am here…" She began. "I know how hard this must be… but just know that whether you want to talk about anything… or whether you don't, I am here. And I'm not leaving." She pulled his face toward hers so that he was forced to meet her gaze. "We don't have to go up those stairs if you do not wish it. We do not even have to stay here!"
Erik smiled at her warmly.
"There is nowhere else for us to go." He said.
"…I know…" She began. "I am simply saying…."
"I know what you are saying." He turned to her. "And thank you." He touched her face gently, allowing his thumb to smooth over her bottom lip before kissing her softly. "Come, I must sit down."
He took her hand and staggered over to a dusty armchair just beside the fire. He opened his mouth to speak only to be silenced by Christine.
"Do not even think about offering me that chair…" She began, a hint of humour in her voice. Erik smiled weakly before submitting to her and sitting down himself. "Now just sit and rest. I must assist Nadir in boiling water so that we can address that." She pointed to the bandages around his chest. "I am assuming… the kitchen?"
"I wouldn't know…" He replied distantly.
Christine looked at him, her features knitted together in an expression he could not quite read. Then she turned and left, leaving him alone with his thoughts… alone with his memories… A place he was loath to be and a place he had avoided visiting in over twenty years.
He did what he had always done in this house. He closed his eyes and thought of something else; Christine… the pain… anything but the memories. Thankfully Nadir returned momentarily.
"Daroga." Erik began as his friend knelt down in front of the fire and began to light it. "Have you any more food before we start?"
"Of course." Nadir smiled. After lighting the fire Nadir fetched his satchel from where he had dropped it upon entering the house. He returned with some more bread and an aged apple. "It is bruised…" He said upon handing it to Erik.
"So am I." Erik smiled. He opened his mouth to take a bite but hesitated. "Has… Christine got enough to eat?"
At that moment Christine re-entered the room, a pot of water in hand.
"Christine will be fine." She smiled. "Please, you need your strength. Eat."
Nadir gestured to the pot she was holding as she approached.
"Is that from the well outside?"
Christine nodded.
"Well we will definitely need to boil it all then." Nadir said calmly. "Even to drink."
"Christine…" Erik began, still focused on the apple in his hand. "I will not eat this if you have not had your fill!"
"Eat it, Erik!" Christine was appreciative of is chivalry but she was growing frustrated. He was being so stubborn!
"You should eat, Erik… as much as you can. All that we have by way of antiseptic is this alcohol. You will need your strength should fever arise from this."
Erik slowly nodded before taking a bite. Nadir was right… he always was. The apple was stale, yes. But it was food.
Soon, the water had boiled and Nadir's makeshift surgical equipment had been sterilized. Erik's jacket and bandages were removed and Nadir had set to work on stitching up his wound. Surprisingly the pain was quite manageable; perhaps it was due to the fact that Erik had had much worse in the past twenty-four hours alone but nevertheless, everyone was glad of the fact.
"I will go and collect some more water from the well and then we must move you somewhere so that you can lie down."
Erik sighed. That would have to be a bedroom… and he did not wish to visit either of them in this house.
Nadir left once more and Christine was again left alone with Erik.
"Will you let me clean you up before Nadir replaces the bandages?" She asked, picking up a rag and dipping it in the bucket of water.
"Yes, alright. But be careful…" He replied. Christine nodded. Of course she would be, she could see how much pain he was in; mostly due to the large bruise on his ribs.
"That's what is causing you the most pain, isn't it?" She asked, gesturing to it as she ran the cloth over a shoulder. Erik nodded solemnly. "Is there nothing that can be done for it?"
"No. It must be wrapped, but that is all. Ribs need to heal by themselves. Unfortunately nothing can be done to speed up the process."
"You sound as though you are speaking from experience…" She ventured.
He usually was.
"Yes." He said, watching her as she gently ran the cloth over him. There were many small cuts and abrasions that she had not at first taken note of, but he did not even wince as she cleaned them. He met her gaze as she ran the cloth over his chest. He was clean now… he knew it and so did she. But he had no intention of stopping her actions; it felt heavenly.
"I… I am… clean now."
Christine looked up at him with an expression he could not quite read; was that… lust?
"Are you?" She asked quietly. She dropped the cloth and began to run her fingers over his chest in the same way. It had been so long since he had felt anything like this, since he had felt her touch. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. Christine smiled to herself, pleased with the reaction she was able to evoke from him. Careful to mind his injury she climbed onto his lap and wrapped a hand around his neck, the other still lightly trailing abstract patterns over his skin.
"Christine…" He muttered, partly a demand… partly a question. He couldn't move. He couldn't even speak. His arms were rendered useless by her touch and while part of him wanted to embrace her in return, the larger part of him simply wanted to lie back and enjoy what was happening to him; what he had missed for what seemed an eternity. "What… are you doing to me?" He asked, his mouth slightly upturned in a smile.
With that, Christine leaned in, gently placing her lips upon his. And once they had met she realised how foolish she had been in this game she had been playing; this dance with desire. She could have lost him and she wanted him now more than ever. She brought both her hands to his face, her lips clinging to his in what was close to desperation. Now that he was able, Erik brought one hand up to embrace her, the other remained at his side next to his broken rib.
"I love you…" She whispered against his mouth.
A noise sounded behind them. Christine jumped, spinning around and almost injuring Erik in the process.
Nadir was standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat and stared at them, a knowing smile on his face. Christine jumped off Erik and began smoothing her dress awkwardly.
"Oh, don't look so smug, Daroga." Erik spat as he sat up with a grimace.
"I said nothing!" Nadir smiled as he approached.
"You didn't have to."
Nadir rolled his eyes.
"Just allow me to wrap your bandages, you unpleasant man. Then I will take my leave and you two can… continue with whatever it is you were doing…"
Erik glared at Nadir, but he chose to ignore it.
"Where do you wish for me to sleep?" Nadir asked as he stood up. "Shall I… take the smaller room so that you and Christine may…"
"No!" Erik took a deep breath. "No… Do not… do not enter the small bedroom. You take my mother's… you take the large bedroom. We will sort something out." The small room was his. But he was not yet ready to face the memories locked inside, and until he was he could not let anyone else in there.
"Alright…" Nadir nodded perplexedly. "Christine… please make sure he gets some rest? He becomes increasingly unpleasant when he is deprived of sleep. Or anything for that matter…"
"Daroga…" Erik warned. Christine could not help but giggle under her breath. She found the relationship between these two men fascinating.
After Erik's bandages had been replaced he requested that Christine search his own bag that had been returned to them by Claude, and find him a new shirt to wear. She did so.
Upon searching the bag she found another item… his mask.
"Erik…" She called. He turned to face her. She held up the item.
"Did… did you want this?"
"Y-yes…" He said hesitantly, holding his hand out.
"Really?" She sighed.
"Yes, Christine. I wont wear it, alright? At least not today. But I must have it. You need to understand that I must have it with me."
"I understand." She said, handing it to him.
"I know you do." He smiled.
Christine took his hand in hers and squeezed it affectionately. She knew that it would take a long time for him to disassociate from the mask, if ever and she knew that she could do nothing to aid him in the process. But every day he was changing, with every kiss he was becoming increasingly self-assured and she only hoped that one day he would be able to see himself as she saw him; perfect.
She turned to the fire, there was something so romantic about flames in a hearth and for a moment she was taken back to the night they had shared under the stars, they had talked about her father and Erik had played music for her just as her father had done. That was before things had gone so wrong. But all the same he was here, he was sitting before her and for the most part he remained unchanged by what he had experienced. Once more her gaze shifted to the left of the fire; the small basket that sat there un-used and apparently un-noticed by Erik.
"Erik...?" She asked
"Yes?"
"I was just wondering…" She turned to the basket. "What is… that? Is… was it a bed for a pet?"
Erik looked beside him and his breath caught in his chest at the sight of the bed… her bed, just as it always was. How had he neglected to see it?
Sasha…
He had forgotten… how had he forgotten?
Erik didn't speak at first. He couldn't. But Christine did not rush him, she simply watched him and waited; attempting to read his expressions as the seconds wore on.
He stared at the bed as tears stung his eyes. He couldn't cry. Not now, not after he had come so far and buried so much pain. Why did she have to bring it up when he was going so well? The bed was just as he had left it, because of course… it had not been used… There was a small blue pillow in the centre and the body of the basket was worn wicker. It must have been used for something prior to becoming Sasha's bed but what, he could not recall. He had spent many nights in that bed with her when things had become too much, although looking at it now he had no idea how he and Sasha had fit… He could not stop a small smile from spreading across his face at the thought of her. Her warmth, her soft fur… her love for him against all odds…
A tear slipped down his cheek but he wiped it away, gripping the armchair and taking a deep breath before speaking.
"Y-yes." He said. "Yes, it was." He turned to Christine, wiping another rogue tear and sniffing as he did. "Her name was Sasha."
Christine smiled.
"And you loved her?"
Erik chuckled cynically before haphazardly wiping another tear.
More than anything.
"She loved me." He turned away again. "But I did to her what I do to any good that befalls me… I destroy it."
"That isn't true, Erik."
"I killed her."
Christine flinched. No doubt she had died and Erik had blamed himself… as was his custom.
"Not intentionally."
"No. But that means nothing, does it?"
"What happened?" She asked, gently stroking his arm.
Erik sighed. He had vowed to himself that if Christine had to know the tortures of his childhood, he would delay it for as long as he possibly could. But he could see that he could avoid it no longer.
"My presence in this village… this world was never appreciated, only tolerated. But of course, said tolerance could only last for so long. I was very young, perhaps seven years of age… And… they came for me." Placing a hand on his side for fear of disrupting it he turned around and pointed to the back door. "I… I ran through there; outside. But…" He turned back around and paused, taking a shaky breath before looking at Christine. "But… she got out before I could… And…" A tear fell down his cheek and once more he wiped it with the carelessness and dexterity of a child. It broke Christine's heart to see him like this… Seven year old Erik was sitting before her but she could do nothing to comfort him for he was lost… Lost to a world of hate and cruelty and all that was left was a broken man…
"And…" he continued. Christine squeezed his hand reassuringly. If she'd known she was going to cause him this much grief she would never have asked about the basket… but it was too late now. The spiral could neither be stopped nor slowed.
"And… they…" He looked at the bed. "They killed her." He took a shaky breath before turning toward the back door again, his eyes wide with the painful memory that had consumed him. "She… she should not have gone outside… She should not have. It… it was my fault. It was all my fault and… and I could hear them and I heard her cries but I could do nothing about them… my mother would not let me outside… if… if only I had been stronger… I could have… I could…" He dropped his head in his hands and wept. The mask fell to the floor.
"You could have done nothing, Erik!" Christine soothed, pulling at one of his hands so as to see his face. "The guilt does not lie with you!"
"I killed her!" He cried. "She died because of me! She died protecting me! And what am I worth!? I am alive and I am just as hated and reviled as I always was and I am back here after everything and she is still dead!" Christine sat on the arm of the chair beside him and pulled him toward her. He did not protest. "It was all for nothing!" He sobbed into her dress. "She died… for nothing…"
"You cannot blame yourself!"
"She died protecting me. Who else can I blame?"
"Môn Ange you cannot blame yourself for that! I would do the same for you!"
"Do not say that." He said, abruptly pulling away and looking at her. "Please do not say that you would ever risk your life for mine. You are more than I could ever hope to be and you… deserve life. It was simply forced upon me."
"Listen! She loved you. And all she could see was your safety. She saw it to be a worthy cause… as do I!"
Erik scoffed and once more haphazardly wiped his eyes.
"Please don't blame yourself. I didn't mean to upset you." She got up and returned to her place on his lap. He did not object, but he did not meet her gaze either.
"Erik…"
"Erik, look at me. Please do not be upset." No response.
With a mischievous smile she reached down to his side that wasn't injured and squeezed. She had to admit that it wasn't exactly the mature thing to do but she wanted him to smile; to be happy. He jumped and snatched her hand away with the hint of a smile.
"Don't." He said, growing serious once more.
"I was trying to cheer you up." She reasoned.
"That isn't the way to go about it." He pouted. "Not now."
"Maybe not. But you smiled, didn't you?"
"An unfortunate reaction… involuntary I might add." Gently pushing her aside, he got up and stood at the hearth, his gaze transfixed upon the flames within.
"Don't be like that." She reasoned, standing and moving beside him.
He looked at her.
"Erik, I'm sorry. I would never mean to cause you pain and if for a second I thought that mentioning that basket would cause you duress I would not have brought it to your attention. I was just curious."
Erik took a breath and cupped her face in his hand.
"I know." He said. "I doubt the rest of the world but I know that you would never cause me harm. It isn't your fault. It's just… a memory I had buried a long time ago… and now I hate myself for doing so, for forgetting about her so easily."
"You have not doing anything wrong, my love." Christine said, rubbing his back affectionately.
Erik smiled. She had never called him that before. Another tear escaped his eye as he looked down at the basket once more.
"We should rest." She added. "Perhaps, one day you can tell me more about her? About Sasha?"
"Yes…" He looked up and sniffed. "I would like that."
Christine looked up at him.
"Shall we… go to… your room?"
Erik slowly nodded. They had no other choice, if they were both to rest there was no other way. Christine took his hand and led him upstairs. Usually he was strong for her, but she had to be strong during the times when he couldn't be; times like now. She looked back at him as they climbed the stairs, giving him a reassuring smile. But she knew very well that this would be yet another emotional upheaval for him and in truth she doubted whether or not he had the strength…
Again, sorry for the delay. Let me know what you think! I know that not much has happened, but everyone is getting settled in and recovering and confronting their demons and all that type of stuff... It is pretty nice to be able to write some fluff again, though :)
Do you guys like?
