A/N: ...I am so bored these days... I need more anime... *sigh*

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC. I want to. But don't we all?

Enjoy! And review afterwards if you want me to write better!


Girlfriend


Kaede

I sighed. Was telling Ootori about the whole deal with the business partner even smart? Did it have any purpose whatsoever?

I sighed again, flipping the page in my textbook. It was the physical exams today; I did it early, so I read as I waited for the host club. Oh shoot. My hands suddenly moved on their own and snapped close the book. "Sachiko...," I groaned, putting my hands on my head. They were in for a hecka big surprise..., I thought, sweatdropping.


Third Person

Sachiko went through hallways to no avail. "Where's the health examinations?!" she cried hopelessly.

Since Kaede had taken her exams early, and she didn't really have any friends from her class, she didn't know where to go.

"Sachiko-chan?" Haruhi came up from behind.

"Haruhi!" Sachiko said, relieved.

You might be thinking: I thought Sachiko was afraid of guys! How come she can talk to Haruhi?! Well, actually, Sachiko was very observant of people. She noticed Haruhi's feminine voice and charm after talking to her once. She figured that she was a girl dressing up as a guy, hiding her gender for who-knows-why. The host club, however, was still under the impression that she didn't know.

"I don't know where the exams are, can you help me find them?" Sachiko asked. Haruhi sweatdropped, as she was on her way to the private room Kyoya had arranged.

"Uh-um...," the other girl hesitated. Sachiko read the nervous expression on her face, making her herself feel nervous.

"Ah! I mean-uh-I'm sorry-um, I didn't mean to inconvenience you," she stammered, shaking her hands. "You wouldn't be going to the public rooms if you were hiding your gender, right? Ahaha..." Haruhi's eyes widened.

"What?" she didn't realize that the nervous girl was that intelligent. Sachiko kept on stuttering, feeling awful.

"Um-I mean, I figured as much, Kaede doesn't treat you as harshly as the others, and you seem really feminine," she scratched the back of her head. "I observe people pretty well so..."

Haruhi sweatdropped. She knew that a friend of Kaede's wouldn't be so normal. It impressed her that she didn't have to walk in while she was changing to confirm it. "Come with me, you can take your physical exam in the room next to mine."


And so, Sachiko took the room next to Haruhi's as the events with the quack doctor unfolded. When she finished her examination, she went into Haruhi's room.

"Hey, Haruhi, I'm done, so-" she stopped to see the Host Club covering up Haruhi, who was in a pink camisole. They all paused, seeing the foreign character.

"What do we do?!" the twins exclaimed in panic.

"Our Haruhi's secret will be exposed!" Tamaki said, horrified.

"Sa-chan's trustworthy, right?" Honey asked cheerfully.

"Please do mind that if you expose Haruhi's secret, you have the Ootori Group's police force to answer to," Ootori said, fixing his glasses.

"Now, let's all calm down," Kaede entered, patting the head of a terrified Sachiko. "Sachiko's known that Haruhi's a girl since she met her." The others raised their eyebrows.

"You told her?" the twins asked. Kaede shook her head.

"Guys, you scared her," Haruhi said, pushing them away and comforting the traumatized Sachiko. "She found out herself." The others were taken aback.

"Is she a genius like Kaede?!"

"No, she's a normal person," Kaede rolled her eyes. "She's not dumb, like you guys."

"HEY!"

"At any rate, I'm still doing my physical examination, so EVERYBODY, OUT!"


Kaede

"Kaede...," Sachiko started. "Don't you think that Kyoya guy's sometimes scary?" We were in the public library, downtown, reading books. I was engrossed in a romance teen novel.

"Nah... Ootori's not scary. He's kind of like me, in a way," I said, not looking up.

"You're not that much like him... Sure, you're scary sometimes, but Kyoya-senpai is more than that," Sachiko replied uncertainly.

I scowled. "Are you saying he's superior to me?"

"I don't think being scarier is a good thing...," Sachiko sweatdropped. "He's only approachable when he's around you."

I rolled my eyes. "Everyone's approachable when you're around me, Sachiko."


Third Person

Kaede sighed. "Cosplay...again...," she groaned. "Katana" was back, and was finally doing some cosplay, along with Haruhi. She looked around, as always, before coming to her appointment.

Tamaki, as always, was answering completely pointless questions with completely fake answers. The twins were in the middle of their twincense and Honey and Mori were eating sweets. At the end of her walk, she went across Haruhi who was looking at the twins, sweatdropping.

"Haruhi-kun!" two girls beat her to the "boy." "You look so cute in a kimono."

"You almost look like a girl in it," one of them complimented.

"Girl indeed," Kaede muttered under her breath. She came forward to Haruhi. "'Sup Haruhi," she greeted in her low voice.

"Hello, Katana," Haruhi said back.

"Haruhi, Shiraishi, you two have been requested," Kyoya called. Kaede nodded in recognition. "Haruhi's clients have pretty well stabilized lately, haven't they? As for Shiraishi... 'he's' gained the majority already."

Haruhi and Kyoya pointedly looked at "Shiraishi's" direction, who had been bombarded with girls at the moment. Even Haruhi's faithful fans were crowding "him."

"Keep it up. We're not planning to charge interest on the original debt you incurred, Haruhi, so just keep working hard, and pay it off," Kyoya said to the girl. "The rental fee for that kimono is nothing to sneeze at, after all."

Haruhi sweatdropped. "Who is he, the crooked magistrate?"

"Something like that," Kaede said, coming into the conversation. "He's been like this ever since he was little... it's unfortunate that I know that." Kaede paused for a moment, as if hesitating. "You know, I can pay the rental fee for your kimono too with the prize money I got from my latest piano competition."

"Really?" Haruhi asked, surprised.

"Yeah... I have some yen in my bank account now." Haruhi hesitated.

"I'll have to decline... I don't like being in debt."

"Oh, okay."

"Kya~~~" Two girls brushed past the two "boys." Haruhi sweatdropped as Kaede muttered something about manners under her breath.

"Kyoya-sama... You're just too much, in that kimono," one of them complimented.

"You look like a king~"

"No, a prince!"

"Haha...thanks, dear princesses," Kyoya replied.

Kaede suddenly fell to the ground, heaving with silent laughter. "'Too much, indeed, Kyoya-sama~~" Kyoya bopped her on the head.

"Katana?!" Haruhi cried.

"Are there any new photo collections of the Host Club coming out?" asked the girls, not even caring about the almost hyperventilating Kaede and the panicking Haruhi.

"Unfortunately, nothing is scheduled at present," Kyoya answered.

Then, the twins came from behind, saying things about how the club makes their money and like that.

"The promotional items themselves are poor. The photo collections are just amateur hidden camera shots," Kyoya said, turning around to face them.

"Hey, I can make some myself," Kaede offered, recovering from the silent laughing fit. "I'm pretty good at, like, everything." The others sweatdropped, however right she was. She fished through her backpack, finding a sketch pad. She opened it, showing her drawings of the club to the twins and Kyoya. The twins gasped in awe and Kyoya put on an impressed expression. "I can do photography too."

"So, then it's settled; Shiraishi will make some promotional items," Kyoya said.

"How much of the profit do I get?"

"...we'll discuss that later." Kaede glared at Kyoya, but sighed.

"Fine," she pouted. "I feel like something's missing..." Kaede put her index finger to her chin in thought. She put her hands together in realization. "Hey, where's Sachiko today?"


Kaede ran through the halls, texting on her phone. "Man, Sachiko... Get a map, will ya?!" she shouted in frustration.

She stopped running after getting a text from Sachiko saying: it's all ok im at da host club. She sweatdropped.

The girl switched directions to go back to the host club, getting there in time to see Sachiko and the others in awe, looking at Tamaki doing one man slow motion. There was an unfamiliar girl there too; a new guest. She had somewhat orange hair, and looked outraged.

Kaede undid her hair, crossed her arms, and watched the scene from the doorway. Kyoya looked as if thinking. "By any chance, are you..."

The girl suddenly looked happy, and cried, "Kyoya-sama!" She ran to him, stepping on poor Tamaki on the way. Kaede raised her eyebrows and smirked in amusement.

Suddenly, it seemed like there were rose petals everywhere as the girl hugged him.

"I've wanted to meet you. My own prince," she swooned.

"Hey, where's Kaede, er... Katana?" asked Hikaru. Kaede was still in the doorway, as the host club sat on the couches. She straightened her position and walked up to them.

Sachiko brightened. "Kaede!" she exclaimed. "What took you so long?"

"I was here the whole time," Kaede shrugged cooly.

They switched their gazes to the girl. "Fiance?" all but Kyoya and Kaede questioned.

"Yes. My name is Hoshakuji Renge," the girl said, finally settling down on a couch. "I will be transferring into 1st-Year, Class A tomorrow."

Everyone looked to Tamaki, now, in his emo corner. "Look, he's mad," they pointed out. "That's because Mommy was hiding something from Daddy."

"Whatever. Are you trying to make this married couple thing stick?" said Kyoya.

"...For anybody who doesn't know you guys, they would think you're gay, you know...," Kaede commented. "That's what I thought on my first day."

"Us too," agreed Sachiko and Haruhi. Their conversation was cut off by an overexcited Renge.

"It is indeed love at first sight," she gushed, making everyone turn around. "The way you were adoring those flowers by yourself in the back courtyard, even when no one else was looking... And the way you kindly reached out to that injured little kitty..."

The twins and Haruhi started asking themselves, "Who? Who? Who?" as Kaede snickered. Sachiko looked to the smart girl questioningly.

"The day Ootori is like that is the day when pigs fly and Haruhi stops continuously breaking Tamaki's heart...," Kaede jested.

"He is the one who looks just like the star of the currently popular love simulation game, 'Uki-doki Memorial,' Ichijo Miyabi-kun, and that's you!" The crazed girl pointed right at Kyoya's face.

An otaku! thought Tamaki.

She's an otaku! thought Hikaru.

I've never seen one before! thought Kaoru. The three reeled back in horror.

"I see now. You're infatuated with a character," said Kyoya in thought. "You're projecting the character infatuation onto me, going so far as to delude yourself that we are engaged. This Miyabi-kun character probably wears glasses too, right?"

All except Kyoya and Kaede sweatdropped, suddenly understanding.

You could've said so sooner, they all thought (except the two smartest people in the room).

"Kyoya-sama, I understand that you administer everything about this club," Renge started.

Kaede's buried her face in her hands. She knew what was going to happen...

"I've always dreamed of being the drawing card for someone's business," Renge said. "I've made up my mind. I'm going to be this host club's manager!"

Kaede suddenly stood up in authority. "Otaku-chan...," she started, making everyone who knew her dangerous nature shrink in horror.

She even made up a derogatory nickname for her! they all thought, panicking.

"We don't need a manager." If she actually does something for the club, there'd be more sharing of the profits. Renge looked at her questioningly.

"Are you even a part of the club? You're a girl!" she exclaimed. Kaede scoffed, putting an arm around Kyoya, who fixed his glasses in response.

"Yes, well, I am Ootori's girlfriend."

Right then, everyone except Kyoya and Kaede (who were currently amused at the development) could've fallen.

"Girlfriend?!"

"Girlfriend?!" Renge asked pointedly to Kyoya.

"That's right," he smirked, shortening the distance between him and Kaede. The other club members sweatdropped. How are they not embarrassed?

"No, no, no, no," Renge split the two up. "He's MINE!"


In the end, that girlfriend talk only made Renge even more determined to be the manager. "Ootori's already misinformed people that we're girlfriend and boyfriend. I was curious, too, you know," Kaede said in her cool way. It was lunchtime, and Sachiko and the Host Club (except for Kyoya) were questioning her about the girlfriend incident. They all exhaled at her answer.

"Is it because Shirai wants to be my girlfriend, hm?" Kyoya teased. Kaede laughed.

"Says you, Ootori. You were the one to start the rumor, anyways."

"It's convenient for the both of us," he alluded to their large fan bases. As they talked, the host club sweatdropped.

What a weird duo...


"They make a good couple," Haruhi said to Sachiko while walking to the host club room.

"Yeah. Kaede's kinda like Kyoya-senpai herself," Sachiko commented.

"It's as if they were the Shadow King and Queen."

"You know... I wonder what that Renge girl will say to that."

As they approached music room #3, the usual commotion resounded through the hall.

"This is a grand-scale project in order to stir Haruhi up to be more girly!" announced Tamaki as they entered the room. Kaede followed after, coming from the different side of the hall. The girl sighed, shifting her weight to her left leg.

"Don't tell me... You're going to use Renge to make Haruhi girlier?" Kaede said, vexed. "Aren't Sachiko and I enough, anyways?"

Tamaki stood to walk up to Kaede. He pointed at her. "You are Kaede; that should be explanation enough." She shrugged; he was right...for once, she thought. The guy turned to Sachiko. "She's... er... your friend."

"What the heck?! How is that supposed to explain anything?!" Sachiko cried, flailing her arms. Tamaki patted the petite girl's head.

"You're not girly enough! You're a commoner! You're not even rich!"

Sachiko shrugged at this. "...and stupid, too...," she added miserably. Honey and Mori went to her side to comfort the sensitive girl. Kaede hit Tamaki's head.

"Hey, don't insult my Sachiko," Kaede said, sighing again. "Now, where is our snobby lady manager?"

As if on cue, the door opened and popped out Miss Otaku herself. "People... Renge, your Host Club drawing card, has baked some cookies."

"Oh, thanks, Otaku-chan!" Kaede greeted.

"I didn't make them for you," Renge snarled.

"How scary~" Kaede snatched up a cookie. Before Renge could retaliate, Tamaki interrupted.

"Oh...how ladylike! I'm so moved!" Tamaki cried, suddenly appearing before Renge, doing weird gestures that Kaede always made fun of behind his back.

"I didn't back them for you, you phony prince," Renge deadpanned. That sent the poor guy to his emo corner.

Kaede shrugged. "At least she called you prince, senpai...,"

"They're a little bit burnt, but I know what you're going to say, Kyoya-sama," she said. Kaede smirked, taking out a container out of her backpack. It was her emergency snack container. She tapped on Kyoya's shoulder.

"Hey, Ootori, I made you some cookies," she said. Kyoya raised his eyebrows, slightly surprised, but regained his composure quickly. He smiled.

"Anything you make is going to be delicious, of course," he answered, ignoring the host club with their jaws on the floor (Sachiko too).

"Thank you, Kyoya-sama! I knew you were going to say that!" Renge exclaimed, hugging the guy. Kaede snickered.

"Didn't you see who he was talking to, Otaku-chan?" she said. Renge turned to her with red in her eyes.

"She's right. These are burnt," Honey said in the background, making everyone turn to him.

"Stop, Mitsukuni. Those are bad for you," Mori warned, coming from behind him.

One thing came to another, and they watched Renge angrily chasing the two guys with those red eyes and looking like Medusa. As Haruhi watched, she ate one of Renge's cookies. "They're savory, and not all that bad."

Hikaru came in close to her, and said, "Let me see...," then bit into the cookie.

Kaoru came from behind and said, "Oh, Haruhi, you have cookie crumbs on your face," then licked them off.

Kaede, being the girl she was, crossed her arms and glared at the twins, who suddenly thought that what they had done was bad. Tamaki started shouting and Kyoya said, "Before we knew it, they've been a congenial classmate trio."

"Hey! That makes Sachiko and I feel so left out, Haruhi...," Kaede wiped off a tear from her cheek.

"Waa... Kae-chan can cry at will!" Honey shouted, being free of Renge.

"You know, if you'd just say so, I could get them off myself," Haruhi said to Kaoru. She turned to Hikaru, saying, "And if you wanted one, they're right here."

Kaede buried her face in her hands, taking Haruhi's shoulders, and shaking her lightly (in contrast with the boys). "I hate to snap you out of your innocence, Haruhi, but that's sexual harassment right there."

While Tamaki joined to agree with Kaede and there was a big commotion, they didn't know that Renge was in the other part of the room, thinking. Kaede sighed, giving up, and went out of the room to crossdress as a boy.

When she came back, Renge was shouting at the host club, "Except for Kyoya-sama, all of your characters are too lackluster!"

"Whoa, whoa... What the heck is going on here?" Kaede asked, playing the part as the person who wasn't there during Renge's arrival. Renge turned around to her, angry. She placed "him" in front of her.

"All of you hosts are lacking a 'dark' side!" she yelled. At that comment, everyone's eyes reverted to Kaede, who was acting as if she didn't know anything.

"Out of all of us, Katana has a pretty dark story...," they muttered.

Renge ignored them. "Girls are vulnerable to handsome young men going through trauma!" The others still looked at Kaede. "If you keep carrying on in this ridiculous manner, it's only a matter of time before everyone grows tired of it! Are you trying to ruin Kyoya-sama's precious business?!"

"First of all, when did we become a business?" Kaede interrupted again. Ig...nored.

"As manager-"

"Manager?"

"-starting today, I'm changing all of your character backgrounds."

"I didn't even have a starting background."

"Shut up, who ever you are!"

Kaede raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't here yesterday; it seems as if there's been a new member." Ignored. Again.

"As manager, starting today, I'm changing all of your character backgrounds." She pointed to Honey. "Starting with you!" He started crying. "If all you are is cute, inside and out, then you're the same as a baby. As such, you're now 'The cute-face, who's actually a thug!'"

"He can't pull that off...," Kaede muttered.

"Morinozuka-senpai, you're the 'Childhood-friend flunkie!' The twins will be basketball players, 'Shut up in their own world!' Haruhi-kun, you're an honor student, faced with 'Intense bullying!' And Tamaki-san, you are the school idol, esteemed for your looks, but actually, you have an inferiority complex... 'The lonesome prince!'"

Kaede inched closer to Sachiko and Haruhi. "That's not even close to the mark." The clever girl went up to Renge. "What am I, then?"

Renge's rampage came to an end. Truthfully, she didn't even make up a type for "Katana." "You're the boy who never goes out, a recluse, whose happiness has reached up and downs! You're the 'Emotionless Boy!"

"On the other hand, she's freakishly right this time...," everyone mumbled.

"Oh, Kyoya-sama," Renge turned to Kyoya. "You're perfect. You just stay your usual kind, affectionate self."


"...Wow, their acting skills aren't actually the worst...," Kaede said, raking her hand through her hair. "Except, though, this is totally fake."

The "changing personality" thing turned into a movie, at some point. Kaede somewhat liked this, since she was a star in the school drama club. It didn't seem like acting to her, though, since she was practically playing herself.

"Whoa! These are directors from Hollywood?!" Sachiko exclaimed in awe. "To think I would see them in a different country..."

"Why have we suddenly gone from talking about changing our characters into a movie shoot?" asked the twins on break. Kyoya was behind them, writing on his clipboard.

Haruhi came into the picture. "And I have to say, it's an overblown film crew, huh?"

"What sucks is that I feel totally left out, though," Kaede sighed. "Me and Sachiko. It's better to be Kaede, since I can irritate Otaku-chan more."

"You can irritate her as Katana, as well," Kyoya ruffled her hair.

"At any rate, what's with these directors?"

"Apparently, she rushed them here from Hollywood," he replied.

"Wow, Otaku-chan uses her money for other things than her video games. Amazing," Kaede said.

Kyoya started pointing out the big shots and what they were in. "Damn these rich people...," Haruhi muttered miserably.

"I feel ya, Haruhi," Sachiko added.

"I've just asked these two gentlemen to make a special appearance," Renge introduced two scary looking people to Kaede and Haruhi. Haruhi started sweating a lot, but Kaede didn't falter. She was way scarier than what she looks like.

"Appearance? What are you talking about?" they questioned.

"We're going to need some villains for the big climax, after all," Renge said.

One thing came to another, and Haruhi ended up protecting Renge from falling objects and telling her that judging people by stereotypes is wrong. Tamaki, thinking Haruhi was crying, pinned the people to the wall.

"Which one of you started this?" he asked menacingly.

"W-wait, Suou! she's the one who started giving us a hard time!" they stammered.

"It's true, senpai," Kaede and Haruhi said.

"These boys aren't at fault," Haruhi continued, standing up. Tamaki released them, and they turned to run away, only to be stopped by Kaede.

"I'll walk with you two, if you don't mind."

"Sorry about Otaku-chan," Kaede apologized to the two boys, who were taken aback.

"N-no, it's fine," they stuttered.

"I advise you two to be more careful around girls like her. There's no doubt that I'm doing this so that our families don't clash in a full-fledged war, for I do most everything with knowing that there's a bit of profit coming out of it. Keep everything, all of what Renge did to you, a secret."

Kaede headed back, finding Kyoya in front of a camera, its lens shattered.

"Kyoya-sama, you're supposed to tell me don't worry about it, and then pat me on the head!" Renge cried. "Why would someone as kind and affectionate as you..."

"Face it, Renge-chan, Ootori's nothing like that," Kaede stood in front of her. "He's mean, calculating, sadistic, cruel, elitist, blunt..." she went on, as Renge cried. "...but you would know how great he was if you stopped your fantasy and got to know him."

"She's right, Renge-chan," Haruhi kneeled in front of Renge, whose sobs had slowed to a stop. "I think that watching people and slowly, little by little, getting to know them, can be fun, too," she smiled.


Kyoya ended up taking the video, Kaede editing all of it, since the Hollywood crew refused to, and selling it to the patrons of the host club.

"Kyoya...," Tamaki said, sitting on the couch watching the guests fangirl.

"I only broke the lens of the camera, so, of course, the footage was all saved," Kyoya fixed his glasses. "Of course, I had Kaede edit out the violent scene, but everything else was fair game."

The others sweatdropped.

"Oh hey, I made some products too," Kaede said, looking into her bottomless backpack. She took out some books. "There are some manga I made, featuring everything that happened ever since Haruhi and I came."

Kyoya started thumbing through it. "Impressive, Shiraishi."

"There is also some photos I took," she added, taking out some pictures. All of them looked professional.

As expected of Shirai..., Kyoya thought. After looking through all of them, he stopped at the last. It was him and Kaede (not "Katana") together, Kaede peeking over his shoulder to look inside his notebook, as he smiled warmly. It was, he noted to himself, the best one.


A/N: Awwww... KyoyaxKaede, am I right?

I hope you liked it! I loved the last part myself.

Review! I need criticism, or ego boosters!

-AmbiWriter-