Disclaimer: I do not own South Park; it is the property of Matt Stone and Trey Parker.


The next day, Stan stood at the bus stop like usual. For once, he was the first of his friends to arrive, due to his mother dropping him off. She had wanted to take him all the way to school, but he insisted it wasn't necessary. That didn't stop her from fussing until he'd finally agreed to let her drive him to the bus stop.

Truthfully, Stan didn't really care about taking the bus. He did, however, need to talk to Kyle. Stan had completely blown him off the other day when it came to calling after the Celebrity Smack Down was over. Yesterday when Stan didn't show up for class, he'd started getting texts from his best friend all day, but Stan didn't really feel like talking to anyone after Pete's confession. He'd needed to think.

Well, now he had to face the music after ignoring Kyle. He could have called or texted, true, but Stan felt it would probably be better to talk face-to-face. Besides, he was hammered enough that Kyle's yelling hopefully wouldn't bother him too much.

"Well well well, look who finally decided to show up," a voice said to his left.

"What kind of bullshit did you spin to get out of class?" Cartman asked. Stan sighed and glanced at Cartman, who was scowling at him.

"Wasn't bullshit," Stan replied tiredly. "I had the flu." At least he didn't have to feel bad about lying to the fatass.

"Uh huh, sure you did. I bet you just spent all day in your room sobbing and bitching about not being with Wendy anymore."

"Whatever you say, Cartman," he said. Some time ago, Stan realized that the quickest way to defuse Cartman was to not respond to what he said. It frustrated the fat boy to no end, and Stan was becoming the subject of his ire less and less.

"Thaaat's right," Cartman sang, poking a finger toward Stan. "Little miss priss bitch hippie misses his wittle girlfriend. Couldn't even show your face yesterday, you were soooo embarrassed."

Stan shrugged, "If that's what you want to think, sure."

Cartman huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Stupid hippie," he muttered under his breath, causing Stan to smirk.

"Stan?"

Wincing, Stan turned and caught sight of his best friend walking toward the bus stop. "Oh, uh, hey dude," he said.

When he reached them, Kyle took his usual place between Stan and Cartman and set a hand to his hip. Seeing the look on his face, Stan cut in before Kyle could go off on one of his jersey-jew rants. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't text you back yesterday. After I got home from the lake, I felt sick. Turns out I had a nasty case of the flu."

Kyle eyed him for a moment, then decided that Stan looked sufficiently ashamed and relaxed his posture. "Well, alright. No sweat then dude." He bumped his fist against Stan's shoulder, then asked, "How are you feeling now?"

"Other than a bit bummed I gotta go back to class, pretty good." Stan shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and asked, "So, what did I miss?"

"Eh, not a lot. We moved on from Celebrity Smack Down and started talking about the new season of the Bachelor," Kyle said.

"It was pretty easy," Cartman added. "All you gotta do is say Marissa is Michael's one true love and Garrison'll give you an A."

Stan groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, "God fucking damnit. Just once, I'd like to read Animal Farm or learn about plate tectonics or whatever the fuck other sixth graders learn about."

"Pfft, why?" Cartman asked. "Class is so much easier this way. Besides, everyone already knows gin and tonic is the best. And it goes in a glass, dumbass, not a plate."

"Don't call Stan a dumbass, fat boy. And he said plate tectonics, which are pieces of the earth's crust that move and form mountains and cause earthquakes and other natural phenomena," Kyle snapped.

"Ey!" Cartman yelled. "I'm not fat you fucking jew. It's all muscle. That's why I'm a linebacker on the football team."

Kyle scoffed. "No, you're a linebacker because you're so fat, you take up half the field and no one can get around you."

Tuning his friends out, Stan waved when Kenny approached. "Hey Kenny."

The boy in the orange parka waved back. Stan could just see his bloodshot eyes from the hole of his hoodie. Stan cocked a brow at him. It was a bit early in the day to already be stoned. He would've said as much to the poor boy too, if Kyle and Cartman weren't around. Instead, he just said, "You're kinda late. Bus is almost here."

Kenny just shrugged and grinned. His muffled words sounded from beneath the parka, "Yea, lost track of the time."

Cartman seemed to take notice of the newest arrival then, and yelled, "Oi, Kinneh, tell Kahl that just because he's a daywalker piece of shit who can't play sports, doesn't mean he needs to bitch about my amazing athletic ability. You know he's just jealous, right Kinneh?"

"That is not true, Cartman," Kyle snarled.

Kenny lifted his hands in mock protest, "Woah, easy fellas. Kyle, you need to calm down, dude. Cartman… you have about as much athletic prowess as a piece of soggy bread."

Both Stan and Kyle burst out laughing at that. The bus pulled up then, and they along with Kenny boarded, leaving Cartman standing there red faced and scowling. "Well screw you guys! I don't have to talk that from you," he yelled.

"Oye, vamonos," the bus driver said.

Cartman grumbled for a few more moments, before huffing and climbing onto the bus. Despite his apparent anger, he easily slid in next to Kenny, pushing the poor boy up against the window. "Dick," he muttered to Kenny, who just chuckled.

Stan and Kyle took up seats opposite the other two on the bus. As he sat down, Stan caught Wendy's eye. She glared at him a moment, then turned away to speak with Bebe in hushed tones. Stan frowned slightly, then turned to look at his super best friend. "Do you think I should talk to Wendy?"

Kyle eyed Stan, then glanced behind them to look at the aforementioned girl. "Honestly dude? It might be better to let her come to you."

"Yea… I guess. I just don't want her to be upset," Stan replied, guilt trickling into his voice.

Throwing an arm around Stan's shoulders, Kyle replied, "Cheer up, Stan. Sure, you went about it in kind of an uncool way, but breaking up is best for both of you. You already said that the spark wasn't there anymore, and soon, Wendy'll realize that too."

After a moment, Stan nodded and gave his friend a grin, "You're right." Feeling a bit better, Stan cast his gaze around the bus. Finally spying who he was looking for, Stan asked, "Hey, if I wanted to ask someone something personal, do you think they'd get upset?"

Kyle blinked at the question. "Uhh… I guess it depends on who you ask and what you're asking. I mean, I'm your super best friend, and I'd tell you anything. But if you went up to Token and asked him how often he jacks it, you'd probably end up with a busted lip."

Stan snorted at the comment about Token, though again there was a sharp spike of guilt underneath it that hit him when Kyle mentioned how they didn't keep secrets from one another. "What about Craig?"

"What about Craig?" Kyle repeated.

"Well… do you think he'd get upset if I asked him something personal?"

Kyle pondered that for a moment. "Again, I think it depends on what you want to ask him."

"Just wondering what it's like to be gay."

That caused Kyle to do a double take. Seeing his expression, Stan quickly added, "Not like that. Someone I know came out to me a few days ago, and I just… I want to know the best way to be supportive, you know?"

"Who came out to you?"

Now it was Stan's turn to give his best friend a flat look. "Kyle, I'm not going to out somebody. Even to my best friend."

Kyle flushed. "You're right, sorry. I wasn't thinking when I asked."

"It's okay," Stan replied, giving his friend a sincere smile. "But do you think he'd be upset if I asked?"

"Mmm… I doubt it. Craig may be an asshole, but if you explain what it's for, then I'm sure he'd be sympathetic."

"I find that hard to believe, but… maybe."

Kyle shook his head. "I'm serious. Or, you could probably ask Tweek, but you'll probably stress him out, and then Craig will really be pissed."

The bus pulled up to the school and came to a stop. As the vehicle emptied out, Stan grabbed Kyle by the arm and dragged him through the crowd of kids. He peered around until he spotted the couple, and towed Kyle along with him, not bothering to wait for Kenny or Cartman.

"Hey Craig, Tweek, wait up," Stan called, hurrying to catch up with the other boys.

"Uh, Stan?" Kyle asked as the other boys turned to look at them. "Any particular reason you brought me along?"

Stan blinked. "Moral support?" he offered weakly. "I mean… you're better at talking to Craig than I am. If I start to put my foot in my mouth, you can be there to help."

The jewish boy shrugged, and together they walked over to South Park Elementary's only gay couple.

"Hey guys," Stan said.

Craig sized him up. "What do you want?" he asked in that flat, nasally voice of his.

Stan glanced at Kyle, who nodded encouragingly. Taking a breath, he said, "Okay, so… I have a friend that came out to me the other day. And I just… I was wondering what it's like to be gay? Not, you know, not for anything related to me. I want to be as supportive as possible for him. And I figure that maybe if I know what it's like to be gay, then I can at least sympathize when he is trying to talk to me about it, even if I can't empathize, you know? I mean… it's not like I could actually understand. It's the same with Token and the n-word and—"

Kyle clapped a hand over his mouth with a laugh. "Stan, dude, you're rambling. Calm down." An embarrassed blush spread over Stan's face, and he looked over at the other two boys. Craig was smirking at him, and Tweek looked alarmed but pleased.

"Th-there's another gay kid in South Park?" Tweek asked, tugging at his shirt. "I—oh jeez—I mean… that actually…" He blinked. "That actually t-takes some of the pressure… off?" He made it sound like a question, as though less pressure was a foreign concept for him. Which, to be honest, it probably was.

"Uh, yea," Stan replied unsurely. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Are you gonna tell us who it is?" Craig asked.

Scowling, Stan said, "Why does everyone keep asking me that? Don't you remember how much it sucked when the Asian girls outed you and Tweek? You guys were miserable for like a week!"

"Alright, alright. You don't have to be such a prick about it," Craig said, giving Stan the finger.

"Are you going to help me or not?" Stan asked, annoyance creeping into his voice. He wasn't sober by a long shot, but Craig's attitude was definitely beginning to ruin his buzz.

"Oh God, oh man… what if we t-tell you something wrong! And then it ruins your friend's life. And then he tries to k-kill himself. Oh God!" Tweek wailed, pulling at his hair and working himself into a panic. "That is way too much pressure. I don't want to make anyone c-commit suicide!"

"Honey, relax," Craig said flatly, grabbing Tweek's hand and pulling it from his hair. "We're not going to make anyone kill themselves." He shot a glare at Stan, and said, "Right?"

Thinking of Pete and his utter loathing of all things emo, Stan smirked and replied, "Trust me, Tweek, he is the last guy that would ever kill himself."

That made Kyle give him a curious look, and Stan's smile faltered. Shit. He probably shouldn't say things like that. Kyle was intelligent enough to deduce who it was from like two or three clues.

Once Tweek was sufficiently calm—or as calm as the coffee-addicted boy could be—Craig spoke up. "To answer your question, being gay in South Park is weird. First, everyone cares about your relationship, and somehow, it affects their relationships."

Tweek whimpered, "It's s-so much pressure."

Craig ran his free hand through Tweek's hair, then continued, "Second, for some reason, everyone always wants to give you money once they find out you're gay. Since coming out two years ago, I've probably got about ten thousand dollars saved up."

Stan's eyes bugged out of his head at that. "Ten thousand dollars!" he gasped.

"There's no way that's true," Kyle said, staring at them suspiciously.

Craig shrugged. "Believe me or not, it's true. Tweek's got even more, because everyone said he's the 'uke', and apparently ukes get more money."

Stan and Kyle traded a look. Neither were sure they believed Craig's words, but they also weren't sure why he would lie to them. If anything, Craig probably had more reason to lie about not having any money, since he and Stan's friends had a history with trying to use him for his money.

"Third," Craig said, "You can get away with a lot more shit, because people don't want to punish you because they want to seem 'cool' and 'supportive'. Every time Garrison has sent me to Principal Victoria's office, she's just given me money and sent me back to class."

Kyle tilted his head quizzically. "But, uhh… you never come back to class after you get in trouble."

Craig smirked. "Duh. I always go home. It's not like I'm going to get in trouble. I'm gay. People in South Park don't punish gay kids."

"But what's it like actually being gay?" Stan asked.

Craig frowned at him. "I just told you."

Stan shook his head. "No, I mean… what's it like being with another guy?"

Craig looked at Tweek, who blushed and looked away. Finally, Craig shrugged and said, "Probably not all that different from being with a girl. You just don't have boobs where there would normally be some. It's a lot easier to understand each other too. Girls are a nightmare to try to figure out, but guys make sense." He ruffled Tweek's hair fondly and said, "At least Tweek does."

"So…" Stan bit his lip. Perhaps he was getting a bit too personal, but Craig was being cool so far, and maybe he could just push a little bit further. "So, it's not weird, you know… kissing another guy. Or…" Now it was Stan's turn to blush, giving Tweek a run for his money.

The other black-haired boy stood up a bit straighter and gave Stan a cold look. "I don't really see how that's any of your business, Marsh."

Stan flinched at the use of his last name. Kyle, ever the loyal friend, jumped in and said, "Hey, easy Craig. Like Stan said, he's just trying to figure this stuff out so he can help his friend. He didn't mean anything by it, right Stan?"

Without looking up, Stan nodded meekly and said, "Right… sorry."

Surprisingly, it was Tweek who spoke up. "It's—aagh!—it's alright Stan. It's just kind of the p-point of being… you know, gay." Stan looked at Tweek, who continued, "For us, it's weird that guys n-normally want to kiss girls. For us, you're the weird ones."

"I guess I hadn't considered that," Stan replied. "Sorry. I really didn't mean to offend you guys or anything."

"It's fine," Craig said. "Anything else you want to know?"

Stan looked at Kyle, who shrugged. "Not really," Stan said, "thanks for being cool and talking to me about this stuff."

"No problem," Craig replied, then looped his arm around Tweek's waist, and the two of them stalked off toward school.

"They answer everything you wanted to know?" Kyle asked.

Stan thought for a moment. "Yea, I suppose so. There's still some stuff I'm wondering about, but that helped a lot."

"That's good." The minute warning bell rang, and Kyle shouldered his back pack. "Come on, let's get to class before we get in trouble."

"Right behind you," Stan replied.


I liked this chapter. I'm getting a bit more of a feel for the characters. I also always love writing Stan and Kyle interacting. The part with Tweek and Craig caught me by surprise, but I think I did a fairly good job with them. Again, I'd originally started writing this story pretty much right after Ass Burgers, so the TweekxCraig episode hadn't aired yet. Still, I like them and I'm happy to continue their being a couple in this story.

And before anyone mentions it, I'd already said I am going to pick and chose what elements from the show are canon in this story. I do not like PC Principal, and I do like Principal Victoria. The talk she has with Wendy in the Breast Cancer Show Ever episode means a lot to me, since my mom is a breast cancer survivor. I have absolutely zero interest in writing her out of the story.