Update 11/23/18: Facelift continues, just a few typos fixed here and there and a couple instances of wording being changed slightly. Nothing much changed in this chapter because I had forgotten how good it was to begin with. Mainly because it's mostly Brenna and Brenna Hofferson has never done a single thing wrong in her entire life.

Warning: Bee bop boop. Mild maturish content ahead.


Chapter 8: Innocence

Hiccup's feet landed lightly on the wooden floor.

He glanced out the window and waved to Toothless, who nodded before turning and bounding through the shadows for the treeline. Tonight could not have been more perfect for this mission; the moon was a pale sliver hidden by clouds, plunging the whole of Berk into near-complete darkness. Hiccup stood still by the window while his eyes adjusted to the small room.

It was simple, utilitarian: bed pushed against the wall, a small table beside it, and a couple of trunks in the corner with Astrid's axe leaning up against the side of one.

Hiccup sighed, his breath moistening the inside of his mask. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He crept across the room and lifted the candle sitting on the table. He used a spark from his sword to light it, and glanced out the window. On a night as dark as this even a small light would be noticed, especially in the room of a girl who was supposed to be gone. Hiccup was careful to keep his footsteps light as he crossed the room to the trunks. He stopped in front of them. Astrid had just mentioned one trunk. It was bad enough he was having to dig through her things without having to guess which things he was supposed to be digging through.

He kneeled down in front of one of them and placed the candle on the floor at his side. He'd go through both if he had to, and was just about to open one when he heard the door open and close behind him.

Hiccup spun around on his knee, hand flying for his sword, and froze.

Standing by the door was a little girl.

She stared at him out of big blue eyes, loose blond curls falling around her shoulders, a doll clutched to her chest. Her mouth opened wide and Hiccup's finger flew to his lips. "Shh, shh, shh. It's okay," he whispered. "I'm not a monster, see?" He tore off his helmet and gave her a smile. "I'm just a person. I'm not gonna hurt you." The little girl remained frozen to the spot. Hiccup stayed crouched on the floor, though he crawled a few steps closer. "You're Brenna, right?" he asked, noting how similar she looked to Astrid. They had the same button nose, the same round face. "You're Astrid's little sister?"

At the mention of Astrid the little girl perked up. She blinked and nodded, her mouth still hanging open. Hiccup's smile widened. "Astrid's a friend of mine." Not entirely the truth, but Brenna didn't need to know that. "She told me all about you. She said you get scared sometimes, you have bad dreams?" Another nod. "And she said you and her sing a song when you have bad dreams?"

"My bad dream song," she said, her voice a high-pitched, sweet little trill that sounded too loud in the quiet house, and Hiccup put his finger to his lips again and shushed her.

"You have to be quiet. Please," he added, his eyes pleading. "It's very important that no one knows I'm here."

Brenna raised an eyebrow. "How come?" she whispered.

Hiccup cast around the room for an answer. "Because," he said slowly, "Astrid is helping me with something very, very important, but it has to be a secret." He watched Brenna's eyes grow wider.

"Sissy's with you?" she asked, forgetting to whisper and Hiccup had to shush her again.

"Yes," he said, beckoning the girl closer. She was a tiny thing, freckly and short and coming to the end of her pudgy toddler days. "Astrid is staying with me while she helps me with something."

"Oh," Brenna nodded sagely. "They said her went somewhere but no one would tell me where she went. I was worried about her."

Hiccup felt his heart sink. Astrid had been concerned about what they would tell her little sister about her absence. It seemed they hadn't told her much of anything. Well, surely it wouldn't be too much of a risk for a three year old to know the truth. She hadn't even been alive when he'd been living in Berk. His face and his name would mean nothing to her.

"She's okay, I promise, and she'll be home sometime soon."

"After she helps you with your super secret important thing?"

Hiccup grinned. "Yeah."

Brenna shuffled her little bare feet. "So why are you here? And why isn't my sissy?"

Hiccup's smile faded. "Your sissy is working on something important right now. She sent me to get some things for her. Maybe you can help me find them?"

Brenna nodded. "Kay. Whatcha need?"

Hiccup gnawed on the inside of his cheek. "Well. She needs some things she forgot to pack. Like, boots, and underwear, and a night dress, and-"

He was interrupted by a giggle. "Underwears?" Brenna was smiling, her crooked baby teeth glinting in the dim candlelight. "Astrid forgotted underwears? That's so silly!" Hiccup shushed her next round of giggles, and she nodded, clapping a hand over her mouth.

"Yeah, that is silly of her." He pulled the cloth sack from its hook on his belt and unfolded it. "Can you help me pack some things for her? I don't know where everything is."

Brenna nodded and padded over next to him. "Here," she said, handing him her little cloth doll. "Hold Dolly." Hiccup looked down at the doll. It must have been the one Astrid had made for her. It had blue button eyes and a yellow yarn braid and smile stitched on in pink thread. 'BRENNA' was stitched neatly along the hem of the skirt. He tucked the doll safely into the crook of his arm. Brenna opened one of the trunks and began digging around in it. She pulled out a pile of neatly folded cloth and dumped it into the bag Hiccup held open for her. "Underwears for silly Sissy," she chirped. She reached back in the trunk. "Bindings for boops."

Hiccup couldn't stop his amused grin. "Boops?"

There was no question as to where the little girl had picked up the cross glare she shot at him. "Hey. No need to be dirty." She put her hands on her hips and stated matter-of-factly, "Little girls get boops when they turn into big girls so they can feed babies when they become mamas. There is nothing dirty about them, and they are not something you laugh at." She nodded with an air of finality and turned back to digging through the trunk.

"Yes ma'am," Hiccup muttered, holding back a smile.

"Night dresses, extra boots, old leggings for wash day," Brenna listed as she deposited each item into his bag.

"Okay, I think that's good," Hiccup said, noticing the trunk appearing emptier and emptier. Brenna nodded and closed it. Hiccup shifted uncomfortably, trying to think how best to word his next request. "There's one more thing I need to find. Astrid said that there's a uh…a box. That has some things in it that she needs. For, uh, for a special time of month. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"Her Angry Tummy box?"

Hiccup blinked. "Her what?"

"Her Angry Tummy box." Brenna opened the other chest and dug around in it for a moment before pulling out a wooden box, about the size of a thick book or a jewelry box and held it up.

Hiccup shrugged. "I, I guess that might be it? What's an Angry Tummy box?"

Brenna turned the box over and over in her small hands. "Sissy says that when girls get bigger your tummy decides that it wants to have a baby, and if you don't have a husband to put a baby in your tummy it gets mad because it got all ready to have a baby and now there isn't gonna be one. She uses the stuff in this box to calm her tummy down. I don't know what a bunch of rolled up wool is supposed to do, because you can't even eat it." The little girl shrugged. "Anyway, I just call it her Angry Tummy box."

Hiccup knew he was likely blushing even though he had no real reason to. He was talking to a toddler who understood even less about menstruation than he did, and who didn't even have the context to consider it an embarrassing thing to be talking about.

"That's…that's probably what she was talking about." He held open the bag and Brenna dropped the box in. "Okay, I think that's everything she wanted me to get." He carefully handed her back her doll, which she squeezed close. "Thank you, Brenna."

The little girl nodded and smiled wide. "You're welcome, Mister Sissy's Friend."

Hiccup ruffled her hair before giving her a serious look. "Brenna, I need you to do one more thing for me, and it's very, very important." Brenna sobered and nodded, her mouth set. "Like I said, this thing Astrid is helping me with is very important, and it's very important that it stays secret. Which means you can't tell anybody that I was here or that you saw me or spoke to me. You can't tell anyone what I told you about Astrid either, okay?"

Brenna rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet but finally sighed and said, "Okay."

"You promise?"

Brenna held out a tiny pinky, and Hiccup smiled as he wrapped his finger around hers.

"Thank you, Brenna. I have to go now."

Brenna nodded, her eyes dropping to her little pigeon-toed feet. "Are you bringing my sissy back soon?" she asked quietly. Hiccup's heart sank.

"Well, it might be a little while, but she'll be back before too long, I promise."

Brenna sighed. "I miss having her here to sing my bad dream song."

Hiccup frowned. "Do you have a lot of bad dreams?" She nodded. "Yeah? I used to have a lot of bad dreams when I was little like you. I still get bad dreams sometimes." Brenna looked up, her blue eyes wide.

"Did you have a sissy to sing to you when you had bad dreams?"

Hiccup laughed. "No," he said, smiling fondly at her, "No, I didn't have any brothers or sisters."

"Did your mama sing to you, then?"

Hiccup's smile faltered and he dropped his gaze. "No. I uh, I didn't have a mama either. I lost her when I was just a baby."

"Did your daddy sing to you?"

Hiccup shook his head. "No. My dad wasn't really the singing kind."

He heard a dramatic gasp, and looked up to see Brenna giving him the most appalled and sad expression. "You didn't have anybody to sing to you when you were scared? What did you do?"

Hiccup gave her a rueful smile. "Well, I just, I dunno. I got myself through it, I guess. I was just scared, and then one day, I had to learn how not to be so scared."

Brenna shook her head, blonde curls bouncing. "Do you still get bad dreams?" she asked.

Hiccup shrugged. "Sometimes. Not like I did when I was little, but yeah."

Brenna gave him a small smile. "You should have Astrid sing to you when you have bad dreams." Brenna looked back and forth and then leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, "She can't sing very good, but it helps anyway."

Hiccup couldn't hold back his chuckle. He beamed at the tiny girl. "I'll keep that in mind." He stood and walked to the window, ruffling Brenna's hair as he passed. He looked out into the still night, checking to make sure the village was deserted. He slung one leg over the windowsill and paused, looking back at Brenna. "Now remember what I said? About keeping this a secret?"

Brenna nodded vigorously and held up her pinky finger. "Promise." She gasped suddenly. "Wait, c'mere!" She tottered towards him and grabbed at his shoulder, Hiccup leaned down and the little girl stretched up to press a soft kiss to his cheek. "Give that to Sissy from me," she said, grinning up at him. "And tell her I said hi and I love her lots and lots and miss her lots, too."

Hiccup blinked but then smiled. It'd been a long time since he'd had any human contact like that. Something that wasn't one of Astrid's punches or someone shoving him in a crowded market, or an alcohol-fueled tryst in a tavern inn. He'd forgotten what human innocence looked like.

"I will," he said, before giving the little girl one last warm smile, slipping on his helmet, and jumping out the window.

Xx

Astrid tossed and turned, unable to find a position that was even remotely comfortable.

She stared up at the distant stony ceiling and huffed a sigh. It was good Hiccup was going to Berk tonight; she wouldn't be surprised if she woke up to blood on her thighs in the morning. Her whole body was tense and that familiar annoying kink had settled at the bottom of her spine that made it impossible to get comfortable no matter how she twisted.

She growled and turned over, burrowing into the blankets and furs.

She was uncomfortable and aggravated and tense. No. She was horny, is what she was, but admitting that meant admitting the need to do something about it, and she couldn't very well do that here, in Hiccup's bed. Astrid rolled onto her other side and tried again to sleep, but clearing her mind seemed only to amplify the insistence of the ache between her legs. She groaned and rolled onto her back.

She didn't know how long she had until Hiccup got back, and she knew she wouldn't be able to do it once he returned, even if he was half the mountain away. Astrid sighed in resignation and slid a hand down to the hem of the tunic she'd been using as a night dress. Her fingers trailed lightly against the inside of her thigh and her eyes fluttered closed. This close to her moon blood every inch of her skin was hypersensitive, and every touch was electrifying.

In the past whenever she'd done this she'd imagined she was being touched by some faceless stranger; some kind clever man who'd make her change her mind about gladly becoming an old maid. Someone vastly different from the brutish imbeciles she'd grown up with; someone with a mind as clever as his nimble fingers that knew just where to press…

Astrid whimpered, her head falling back against the pillows. The image was clearer tonight than it had been in the past. She wanted broad shoulders she could cling to and a narrow waist to wrap her legs around; someone strong but not burly. She wasn't even particularly insistent on strong. She was an accomplished warrior herself; she didn't need a strong man to protect her. She wanted a companion, not a guardian.

She wanted an equal, someone with compassion and kindness; a rare trait among Vikings, she knew, and had often wondered why it appealed to her. Especially now, when the thought of a kind smile had her arching into her fingers and biting her lip. She wanted more than a husband she tolerated having on top of her every night. She wanted a lover to hold her, to whisper in her ear. She wanted someone who challenged her but respected her. Someone who wouldn't drag her into bed but who, when she wanted it, could push her against a wall and take her roughly. She wanted heat and weight between her legs, fingers digging into her hips…she moaned, her fingers pressing harder, reaching deeper…

…and she fell apart to a crooked smile and green green eyes.

Coherency reclaimed her, and Astrid's eyes slowly widened.

Oh. Gods. No.

Astrid sat up, still panting. She didn't. Not to—this was ridiculous. He was—no, she didn't even…

She groaned and fell back against the cushions. Clearly she had reached new depths of desperation. She was frazzled and horny and he was the only male human she had been around in days. And, to be perfectly honest, Hiccup was a lot nicer to look at than he used to be.

This was still probably the most humiliating thing that had ever happened in her life.

Astrid had never felt more confused. Hiccup was attractive, yes, there was no denying that. But that did not have to mean that she was attracted tohim. He was a jerk. Well, he'd been less of a jerk recently, and all that day he'd actually been pleasant. Ever since their conversation the night before Hiccup had been making more of an effort to be nice to her. He'd even made her breakfast that morning. Normally he left her to fend for herself and generally ignored her existence, but today he had really been trying. It was strange and yet familiar; it was the closest he'd been to the boy she remembered in a long time. They were finally starting to get along, and it eased some of her worry, but trusting him still felt further away.

He insisted that he didn't want to hurt her.

Astrid frowned at the fire burning at the center of the room. There was nothing she wanted to believe more than that Hiccup would not harm her, but she wasn't sure if she could just yet. He had frightened her, and threatened her, and it had stolen more of her courage than she liked to admit. She had always been confident, always felt certain of her abilities to defend herself. His actions that day had shaken something deep inside of her that she wasn't sure how to put back in place.

It didn't help that her whole world had been turned upside down. Hiccup insisted that dragons were not hostile unless provoked, and Toothless certainly seemed to prove that theory, but he was one dragon. One dragon of one species that Vikings knew very little about.

And what if all dragons were that docile? What then? She'd spent her whole life either fighting dragons or preparing to fight dragons. She was a warrior. What happened to her life and her place in this world if that disappeared?

What was her place in it now?

What happened when she went home? Assuming they wouldn't decide a blood sacrifice was more effective and kill her on the spot. Could she go back to fighting dragons, seeing what she had? Would she be able to, if every raid she was looking at the sky and worrying about someone shooting Hiccup and Toothless down? What was she supposed to say? How was she supposed to hide what she now knew?

How was she supposed to return to her village, to her people, to her family, and live and walk among them as if they hadn't given her up to die?

…what would be the point?

She sat up when she heard the distant rustle of wings and saw Toothless descending into the cave. Astrid hurriedly wiped the drying sweat from her forehead and grabbed a pair of leggings from the pile of clothes beside the bed. The tunic she wore to bed was long, but not long enough to be modest in front of Hiccup…especially given what she'd just been doing and the embarrassment she still felt. Gods, how was she supposed to look him in the eye?

She hurriedly twisted her hair into a loose braid and didn't look up when Hiccup and Toothless landed nearby.

"We might have a situation," Hiccup said as soon as he'd pulled of his helmet. Astrid's head snapped up.

"What does that mean?" She understood the all-black getup was essential for stealth and for staying invisible during raids, but were those tight leather pants really necessary? They really called far too much attention to parts of his body that she'd much rather forget existed. "Did something happen? Did they see you? Did you not get my stuff?"

"Nothing like that, don't worry," Hiccup bent over to pull a bag out of Toothless's saddle bag and woah—since when did Hiccup have such a nice ass? Seriously, how had she not noticed that before? Godsdamn womb needed to chill out right the fuck now. He straightened up and winced. "How good is your sister at keeping secrets?"

All errant thoughts about Hiccup's body evaporated immediately. Astrid's eyes grew wide. "Brenna?" She was on her feet and walking towards Hiccup. "Oh gods, Hiccup, what did you do?"

Hiccup held up his hands in an attempt at placating her. "Calm down, okay, she's fine, she just…met me, is all. She came into your room while I was trying to get your stuff, and I thought it was either let her scream and raise the alarm, or introduce myself and try to convince her I'm a friend of yours."

Astrid paced around the fire. Brenna had met Hiccup. Her baby sister had met her captor.

She heard him following her. "Astrid, she's fine, she wasn't afraid of me or anything. I told her I was your friend and that calmed her down. She helped me pack a bag of your stuff. I think she liked me." Astrid rounded on him.

"You spoke to her. You talked to my sister. What did you tell her? What did you say about me?" She must have looked frantic, she knew, and Hiccup looked a bit helpless as he stared at her. He hesitated, his hands hovering in midair, and then landed them gently on her shoulders.

"Astrid, calm down. I just told her you're my friend and you're helping me with something very important and very secret. She seemed to buy it. She was happy to know you were okay. She told me to tell you she said hi and that she loves you and misses you." He gave her a smile. "I told her she'd see you again soon." Astrid shrugged his hands off and took a step back.

"And what if I don't see her again?" Hiccup crooked a finger under her chin and lifted her face to look at him.

"You will," he said, his eyes soft and his smile kind. "She needs someone to sing her bad dream song, after all." His smile grew. "Even if apparently you can't sing very well."

Astrid smiled and swatted his hand away. Hiccup gave her a serious look. "Can we trust her not to spill the beans about meeting me, though? She pinky swore she wouldn't say anything, but I don't know how much weight that carries."

Astrid laughed in spite of her misgivings about the whole situation. "If Brenna pinky swore then she won't say a word. She likes having secrets to keep. They make her feel grown up and important. Plus she's young enough not to really understand how serious this all is and that works in our favor. She'll think this is all a fun game and won't say a word."

Hiccup breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. I've got enough to deal with without worrying about my cover getting blown by a toddler."

Astrid returned his smile and turned her attention down to the sack in her hands. "Did you get everything?"

Hiccup hummed his assent. "Brenna helped, so I think so. Night shirts, underwears, bindings for boops," Astrid looked up and raised an eyebrow. Hiccup was giving her an amused smile as he listed things off on his fingers.

"That's what she calls them," she explained briefly.

"I gathered that. You've also got boots, some spare leggings, and your uh, what did she call it? Your 'Angry Tummy Box'?"

Astrid turned red and nodded, not looking at Hiccup. "She's three. She's not ready for the full birds and bees talk yet." Silence fell between them. Astrid peeked up at Hiccup through her bangs. He was watching her carefully. She swallowed. "Thank you," she said quietly.

Hiccup shrugged. "I'm keeping you here," he said, looking somewhat sheepish. "I kind of owe it to you to make sure you have everything you need."

Astrid nodded and silence fell between them again. "Um," Astrid began, feeling her face heat up again. "I really do appreciate this, but, um, fair warning, I probably won't be super pleasant the next few days." She watched Hiccup's ears turn red. He scratched at the back of his neck.

"I uh. I wouldn't expect you to be."

"I know things are getting better between us, kind of, and I don't want to mess that up, so if I like, start screaming at you over nothing-"

"I won't hold it against you."

They both stared at the floor while the awkward silence pervaded the air around them.

"So, I should let you get some sleep."

"Yeah, that'd be—I didn't sleep while you were gone, so—"

"And I obviously haven't slept tonight so, I should—"

"Should get some rest too."

"Yeah, exactly."

Neither one of them moved. Astrid chanced a glance at Hiccup, who was looking at her strangely.

"Oh, so, um, your sister, your sister wanted me to give you this." Before she had time to ask what Hiccup had leaned forward and placed a quick peck on her cheek. He retreated quickly, not looking at her. "That's from Brenna." He glanced at her briefly, and at the shock on her face his eyes widened. "I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"You're fine," Astrid cut him off, her voice pitched higher than usual.

Hiccup blinked at her. He licked his lips and opened his mouth as if to speak, paused, then said, "Good night," before turning on his heel and leaving the room, Toothless following behind.

Astrid watched them until they had both disappeared into the darkness of the tunnel and their footsteps had faded away. She pulled off the borrowed tunic and leggings and put on one of her own night dresses. It was soft and familiar and she felt more comfortable than she had in a long time. She checked her box, counting out what supplies she had left to assure herself she'd be fine until Hiccup went to the market, then crawled into the furs of his bed once more.

Even half an hour later when she was finally dozing off, she could still feel the print of his lips on her cheek.