Update 11/24/18: Edits include mainly typos and a grammar fixes. Changed a line about "French dialect" to "Frankish dialect", as I'm pretty sure it hadn't quite evolved to French by that point in time, but also, bookHttyd has Hiccup learning modern French, so like...we play fast and loose with historical accuracy around here. I added a little bit of dialogue to Drunkstrid's confession because I felt like it needed it. Nothing much changed beyond that.

Chapter title from the song Bedroom Hymns by Florence and the Machine. (I'm working on putting together a playlist for Persephone, by the way.)

Warnings: Dirty stuff and talk of dirty things. Nothing that serious though. This fic does eventually contain serious sexual content, but it's a slow burn before the fireworks.


Chapter 12: As Good a Place to Fall as Any

It took all of a breathless moment before Hiccup was grabbing her by her hips and dragging her towards him. He leaned in to kiss her and as much as she wanted him to she raised her hand to block him. For a moment they stood there, Hiccup's lips against her fingertips and his hands hot against her back before Astrid caught the scent of lavender and saffron clinging to his shirt.

"Stop," she said quietly, meeting his eyes. "Not like this. I don't want you fresh out of some other girl's bed. You…you smell like her."

Hiccup nodded, his disappointment evident as he dropped his hands from her hips. He took a step back and looked at her, eyes wide with hesitant hope. "Does this mean you'll stay? Here, with me?"

Astrid hesitated; her eyes squeezed shut. "Can we talk about all this in the morning, please?" She peeked at him, when he didn't look angry she opened her eyes all the way. "I'm exhausted and half-drunk still, and I just—just let me get some sleep okay? I promise we'll work everything out then."

"Can't you just say it, at least? Please?"

"Hiccup-"

"Please." His eyes seemed to pin her to the floor.

She sighed. "Can I say it in the morning, please, when I can kiss you after I say it, and, and-"

She took a step back and Hiccup caught her hand. "You don't have to say everything now," he said, his voice as gentle as those wide green eyes. "Just give me something so I know you won't change your mind before morning."

She gave him a tired smile. "I'm not gonna change my mind. Just…" She took a deep breath and let it all out in one great sigh. "There's a lot to talk about, and I think it would be better if we talked after I've had some sleep and you've had a bath." Astrid reached up and kissed his cheek. "But I'm not going anywhere."

His answering sigh sounded like elation and relief and years off his life all at once. His small smile warmed her in the cold cavern. "Now was that so hard?"

Astrid pulled her hand from his. "We'll talk in the morning, I promise."

Hiccup nodded. Astrid wondered if she looked as exhausted in that moment as he did. "Okay."

They shared one last smile before she slipped away.

Astrid sighed when she entered the darkness of the tunnel, feeling more relaxed than she had in a long while, when she ran into something large, soft, and warm. She gasped and pulled her torch from her belt and lit it to reveal a sheepish-looking dragon crouching in the tunnel.

Astrid put her free hand on her hip. "Toothless? Were you eavesdropping?"

His large green eyes shifted back and forth.

"Rrooow?"

Astrid's eyes narrowed.

"Toothless. Tell the truth."

"Mrrrmmm. Mrrraaayyreee-ee-ee-ee?"

"Uh huh. That's what I thought."

Xx

It was a crisp, clear day with a cloudless blue sky and plenty of sunshine, and the first day in a long time where Astrid had awoken feeling positive. The sunlight poured into the cave they used as a kitchen and glinted off her knife as she sliced little pieces off a mackerel to feed to the little Terrible Terror begging at her feet.

Scamp never sat still, and his tail wiggled eagerly as he snapped up the fish she dropped for him and cackled his thanks. Astrid giggled, cleaning her hands in the water basin to her right while she watched him. Hiccup would probably say she was spoiling him, just like she did Toothless, but Toothless was a housedragon and always well fed. Who knew how often Scamp got a decent meal when he was off flying in the wild.

She was about to begin preparing her own breakfast when hands landed on her hips. Her breath caught in her throat as Hiccup dragged her against his chest. He was shirtless and warm and smelled like lye soap. His breath ghosted against her ear and made the hair at the back of her neck stand on end when he whispered to her, "Stay with me."

She turned slowly to face him, his hands rising from her hips to the small of her back, her own rising to rest hesitantly on his bare chest. She stared at her hands, at the smooth skin dotted with freckles, at the soft outline of muscle underneath her splayed fingers. "Astrid." Her eyes rose to meet his, green and wide and hopeful. Gods, he was beautiful. He'd clearly just come from a bath, his hair was still damp; it shone brown and copper in the bright sunlight. Hiccup had always been cute, in an awkward, dorky way, but now he was…well. She wondered when he'd changed; when the baby fat had melted off those lovely high cheekbones and that square jaw. When had the toothpick grown so tall and strong, even if it was in that lanky kind of way? It was like all that wonderful off-kilter beauty that had always been inside him had finally leaked through to the outside.

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and she nodded. "Yeah," she breathed, "I'll stay with you." His eyes lit up, his lips stretched wide over crooked teeth, and when he leaned down to kiss her she didn't stop him.

Their lips slid together like they were made for it; a kiss that was both gentle and passionate, slow and sweet and still enough to set her heart pounding. His tongue nudged at her lips and they parted for him, her own tongue darting out to tangle with his. She sighed into his mouth; her hands creeping up his chest to his neck as his arms tightened around her waist and drew her closer. Her fingers traced the line of his neck up to his jaw, the skin smooth and freshly shaven, and he made a little noise in the back of his throat as she scratched at the skin below his ear.

"We have a lot to talk about," she said when they broke for air, and Hiccup hummed his agreement against her cheek before turning his head and kissing her again. "Really—so much—to talk—about," she murmured between kisses, her lips blindly seeking his each time they parted.

"So much," Hiccup agreed.

Neither one of them made any effort to separate. If anything, they held to each other tighter. Astrid toyed with the hair at the back of Hiccup's neck while one of his hands moved up her back and pulled her closer.

"How are you not cold?" Astrid asked when Hiccup's kisses moved from her lips to her cheek, and then migrated down to her neck.

"I have you to keep me warm," he said, voice low and husky and vibrating against the underside of her jaw. Her eyes fluttered closed and her breath left her in a soft whoosh through still-parted lips.

The backs of her legs hit the edge of the table and then Hiccup was kissing her again, harder this time, tongue lapping steadily at hers. She gasped into his mouth as he lifted her gently onto the table and stepped between her legs. He crushed her to him, arms strong and firm around her back, lips working hotly against hers. He stepped closer, his hips pressing against hers, and she could feel his growing arousal against the inside of her thigh.

She broke the kiss, hands on his chest holding him back, both of them panting. "I'm not one of your fisherman's daughters," she reminded him softly, and Hiccup nodded.

"I know," he said, meeting her eyes, his breath still coming in uneven puffs. "I don't expect you to be." He took a step back, hands sliding down to her hips and then away, and Astrid pushed off the table onto shaking legs. She cleared her throat.

"So," she said, businesslike, "We have a lot to talk about."

"Yes we do."

She took a deep breath. "Okay, so, if I'm gonna stay here I need more to do than gardening and sewing."

Hiccup nodded. "I agree." He swung his arms back and forth. "I want you to help me. With the dragons. With saving them, protecting them."

Astrid nodded along. "Okay. So, if I'm gonna do that I need to know how to fly. And not just on Toothless, though I probably need to learn in case you ever can't for some reason. But I want my own dragon."

"That Deadly Nadder?"

Her mouth curved into a smile at the thought. "Yeah. If we can find her."

Hiccup jostled her shoulder with his. "She'll find you. She liked you, I can tell."

"So…" Astrid clicked her tongue. "I help you save dragons? Is that all you do?"

Hiccup shrugged. "Well there's other stuff to do. You can help me get things I need during raids. You can sneak into villages and get stuff we need and I can focus on keeping the dragons from doing too much damage. It'll be easier for you anyway; you'll blend in better. And I have to go hunting soon, I know you'd love that."

Astrid perked up. "Hunting?"

"Yes. Violence, killing, all that good stuff? I mean mostly I just let Toothless do the hard work, you know, but I think you'd have more fun bringing down a wild boar than he would."

Astrid nodded. "I can do hunting." She smiled at him. "We could make this work."

He returned her smile. "Yeah, I think we could." His smile dimmed and his eyes dropped to the table, where his hand had crept closer to hers. His pinky finger brushed lazily against the side of her hand, and for such a small touch it seemed to vibrate into her bones. "And if you end up deciding you don't like it then you can always leave," he said, voice soft; the suggestion was a necessity but clearly not one he wanted to make. "If you get bored of me, you know. I know you're used to slightly more human contact."

Astrid frowned. "Speaking of human contact, there's still something else we need to talk about." Hiccup's gaze didn't leave their hands. Astrid took a deep breath. "We need to talk about last night."

"Kay."

"You were gonna sleep with Heather."

For a moment Hiccup didn't answer. "I didn't really want to." His voice was low, as if he didn't really want her to hear it even though she had to. He shrugged. "I just wanted a distraction. You had my head so messed up, and you were turning me down and I just thought, you know, 'Get over this girl'. I spent so long pining after you, and I finally thought I was over you, and here you were, back in my life and you kissed me, and turned me down, and I just thought, fine." He shrugged. "She has her reasons, whatever they are. So now I need to move on. Do something dumb and meaningless and casual and get my mind off you." His eyes rose and caught hers on the way up. "But the whole time all I could think about was you. About how I would rather be down there just talking to you than be up there fucking her."

Astrid nodded, her eyes locked on his. "I'm sorry," she said, "For everything. For messing with you." She took his hand in hers, her fingers sliding through his.

Hiccup gave her a wide, closed mouth smile that seemed to radiate fondness. "You were confused. I get it. I'm sorry too."

They smiled at each other for a moment more before Astrid's attention fell back to their hands. "Besides, I believe you didn't really want to sleep with her."

"Oh?" She could practically hear the frown in Hiccup's voice.

"Heather did say you were having trouble getting it up."

Hiccup jerked his hand back and when she looked up at him, smirking, he had the most adorably indignant look on his face and his mouth was flapping like a fish out of water. "That's—I—she—" He huffed. "You know what? I'm not even gonna touch that with a ten foot pole."

"Well of course not, you couldn't even touch it with a five inch one."

"Astrid!"

"Six inch?"

"Astrid!"

"Four inch? Come on, I'm guesstimating. Six and a half? Seven?"

Hiccup choked on his own tongue.

"What, there's gotta be something those girls keep coming back for."

"I'm done with this conversation."

"Eight inches? I'm trying to be complimentary here, but I'm starting to think it's maybe more like three."

"ASTRID."

Xx

Astrid sighed, the cold air of the cave tunnels refreshing in her lungs after the steam of the bath in the hot springs deep beneath the mountain. It was part of the system she and Hiccup had worked out her first week there; he had until noon to bathe and after that he had to get out and let her have a turn.

The hot bath had been more than needed; she felt like she had cleansed away more than just dirt and sweat. It was as if the strife and tension of the last several days had been rinsed away with the soap bubbles, leaving her clean and free to take on whatever this new phase of her life brought. She wasn't much for symbolism, never had been, but the metaphor seemed apt.

She found Hiccup in his room, digging furs and blankets out of a chest and pulling random cushions out of the pile that made up his bed.

"Yeah, okay, I get that you want a bed that's just like mine because you're used to it now," he said when she entered, "But I don't know that I have enough for two equally comfortable beds here. Just two slightly less cushy but still very comfortable beds. Is that alright with you?"

Astrid leaned against the wall, arms crossed over her chest. "You could just let me keep your bed."

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Or I could keep my bed and leave you to the handful of furs I've been sleeping on in the forge every night." He sighed. "I finally get my bed back and here I'm having to split it up."

Astrid gave him a sympathetic smile. "We'll get more furs the next time we go hunting."

"Yeah, I guess." Hiccup bent over to pick up a cushion and Astrid bit her lip as the wonderful curve of his backside was lifted prominently into the air.

"What?" Hiccup asked as he stood up, frowning. Astrid blinked and cleared her throat.

"Hm?"

"You were staring at me."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were, why?"

"Um…" Astrid shrugged, her eyes roaming around the room for something to take the blame for her momentary distraction. "I was just thinking, it's Snoggletog Eve, isn't it?"

Hiccup's eyes shifted to the ceiling, his face screwed in thought. "Yeah, it is." He went back to trying to sort through blankets.

"Well," Astrid pressed, coming to sit on one of his fur piles, "We should do something, shouldn't we? For the holiday?"

Hiccup straightened up. "Like what?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. What do you usually do for Snoggletog?"

Hiccup sat down beside her. "I don't."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for a minute longer before Hiccup snapped his fingers and jumped to his feet. "I know what we can do, I'll be right back."

She didn't have a chance to speak before he was dashing out of the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a small barrel perched on his shoulder, a jug and a couple of mugs in his other hand. Astrid stood to take the jug and cups from him while he sat the barrel down. Toothless immediately rose from his bed to sniff at the barrel.

"No, no, no, not after what happened last time," Hiccup told him, shooing the dragon away as he used his knife to pry the lid off. "I've been saving this for a special occasion," he said to Astrid, shooting her a grin and a wink. The top came off and a rich, sweet smell wafted up to fill Astrid's nose. The barrel was filled with a dark purple liquid whose fragrant scent was tinged with the acrid tang of alcohol.

"Wine?" Astrid's eyebrows rose.

Hiccup nodded. "Salvaged it from a shipwreck a while back. Look at the writing on the side." Astrid bent over to examine the letters painted onto the side of the barrel.

"I can't read it. That's, that's not Norse. What is that?"

Hiccup shrugged. "A Frankish dialect, I think. This is the good stuff, that's why I've been saving it." He took the cups from her hand and dipped them both into the wine. "For you, milady," he said, offering her a cup.

"This is your Snoggletog plan? Drink?"

Hiccup grinned. "We're Vikings. What's a holiday without alcohol?" He took a drink.

Astrid watched him carefully. "You just called yourself a Viking."

Hiccup paused, the cup halfway to his lips. "Oh, well, you know," he said, his voice hitting that higher register he slid into when he wasn't entirely telling the truth. "I'll claim any nationality if there's alcohol involved."

Xx

"He missed it completely?!"

"Yes!"

"But, you stand right there, how did he miss the tree completely?"

Astrid wiped tears from her eyes. "He wasn't even looking at it!" She struggled to catch her breath enough to continue. "He was looking at Ruffnut, and showing off, you know, all like," she imitated the smug expression Snotlout had worn, pointing an unsteady finger at Hiccup, "Hey, princess, watch this!" She gave Hiccup an exaggerated wink. "And then he rears back like this—"

"Still looking at Ruffnut."

"Still looking at Ruffnut! And then he goes to jam the sword into the tree," she mimed the motion, "And whoom! Misses it completely and topples over face first into the dirt!" Astrid collapsed into her own lap, giggling uncontrollably, while beside her Hiccup was clutching at his stomach.

"Oh my gods!" He gasped. "I can't believe I missed that!" He grinned at her. "Please tell me jokes were made at Snot's expense."

"Oh, so many jokes!" Astrid wheezed, the image of Snotlout's dumbfounded face as he picked himself up and smiled sheepishly at his unimpressed bride forever immortalized in her mind. "That's all Tuffnut and I did all night. We just like, followed Snot around and made disparaging comments about his lack of virility." She grinned into her mug and took another drink of the rich wine. "Between you and me, I think it was Tuff's way of coping. It was easier to think about Snot banging his sister if he could believe he was really bad at it."

Hiccup laughed again, settling back against the furs of his bed and staring into the fire. "Oh gods. But hey, I guess Snot must have been pretty bad at it, if Ruff ran off with someone else."

Astrid hummed her agreement into her wine. "Oh, he was terrible at first. Ruff and I have had whole conversations about this." She shivered. "I know way more about their sex life than I ever needed to. He hadn't been with anyone before they got married, and of course Ruffnut has been with like, everyone, and she said their wedding night was super disappointing, but after that it was really easy to train him because he had no prior experience." Astrid shrugged. "So aside from the infidelity and possible bastard love child now they're really happy."

Hiccup hummed and poured himself more wine, so Astrid finished off her own cup and held it out for more. Hiccup raised an eyebrow at her. "Shouldn't you slow down?"

Astrid snorted. "Please. I'm fine."

"You're drunk."

She shrugged. "Yeah. I'm fine. If you're not getting drunk then what's the point? And besides, you're drunk."

Hiccup mirrored her shrug, albeit more animatedly. "Yeah, but not as drunk as you."

Astrid downed more wine. "We're drinking alone on Snoggletog Eve. If one or both of us doesn't get so drunk we pass out, then what even is the point?"

Hiccup held up his mug. "I will drink to that."

"As will I. To pathetically lonely holidays spent with alcohol."

They clinked their mugs together and drank.

"It's not that bad though, as far as holidays go," Hiccup said quietly a moment later. He peeked at her over the rim of his mug. "And not that lonely with you here." Astrid pretended not to notice when his free hand crept around her back to land on her waist.

She sighed happily and when she turned her head to look at him it took the room a minute to catch up with her. Hiccup's grip suddenly became firmer, and she giggled when he pulled her closer. "I's not s'bad," she admitted, snuggling close to his side and wrapping her arm around him. Her hand squeezed his firm bicep. "Wow," she said, looking up Hiccup, who was watching her with amusement. "You have nice arms."

He choked on a laugh, his eyebrows shooting up. "I do?"

"Mm hm," Astrid nodded, the motion a little more exaggerated than usual. "Very nice arms. I mean not like, bulky, or brawny, or anything, but like…" she gave up on the word and instead took another drink. This wine had tasted so strong when she started drinking but now it tasted just wonderful. "I mean you're all like skinny, but so firm." She giggled without knowing why. "I mean you got hot, you know?" Hiccup's eyebrows continued upwards. "Like you always kinda had that adorable dork thing going on," Astrid was momentarily distracted by the motion of her own hand waving around. "But now you're like, I don't know. Sexy."

Hiccup's next laugh was somewhere between nervous and surprised. "Sexy huh? I take it back. You should not stop drinking. Probably ever. You should just always be drunk. Drunk Astrid says nice things. Say more nice things, Drunk Astrid."

Drunk Astrid saw no reason to deny this request. "Well, you're finally tall, go figure. And I like your shoulders. And you have a great ass." Somewhere in the back of her mind it occurred to Astrid that she shouldn't have said that. Sober Astrid would not be happy with her in the morning.

"I-I do?" She started giggling again. She couldn't help it; Hiccup's chuffed expression was lessening as a bright red blush crept down from his ears and over his cheeks.

"Yeah, you do." She couldn't stop giggling. That was probably a sign she should stop drinking, but the look on Hiccup's face was the best thing she had seen in a long, long time. "You're cute when you blush. I should make you blush more often." She laughed suddenly and grinned something wicked. "If I kissed you would it make you blush?"

Hiccup overcame his embarrassment long enough to smirk. "Naw, probably not."

Astrid made a disappointed noise something like a sigh. "Really? Are you sure?" She scooted closer, pressing her body close to his side and resting her head on his shoulder to pout up at him. "You don't even want to test it out? Not even for science?"

She watched with glee as Hiccup's eyes took on that hungry light she was growing familiar with. He put down his mug and reached around her back to haul her into his lap, sending her blurry world spinning pleasantly. She laughed and focused on his eyes until the world settled again. She did need to be drunk more often. She was saying all these things to Hiccup and she didn't even care, and now she was sitting on his lap and reallydidn't even care, because suddenly she couldn't think of even one good reason why she shouldn't be. Hiccup was warm, and the wine was making her relaxed and cozy and happy, and she'd be just fine staying here, like this, in his arms for the rest of the night. After kissing him, of course, which she was going to do even if she had to bury her hands in that mess of auburn hair and drag him to her.

"Well, if it's for science," Hiccup said, and she realized that his face was a lot closer than it had been a minute ago. And she'd put down her wine at some point; funny, she didn't remember doing that.

It didn't matter now, though, because he was kissing her, and she could taste the rich dark wine on his lips and on his tongue and gods, he was more intoxicating than anything she'd had to drink.

Astrid sighed when they broke apart and she settled more comfortably in Hiccup's lap, her head resting on his shoulder again.

"I think this might be the best Snoggletog I've ever had."

She looked up at Hiccup's quiet declaration. "Really?" she asked, frowning. "Your best Snoggletog consists of drinking with me and Toothless with no presents or anything?" She cast a glance over to Toothless's bed, where the dragon had conked out after they'd failed to keep him out of the wine barrel.

Hiccup wouldn't meet her eye, and her frown grew. "You can't have had many good Snoggletogs, then."

He shrugged and held her closer. "I haven't." He did that adorably Hiccup thing where he focused on the ground, like he wasn't worthy of looking up. "I mean, I guess I had some good ones when I was little, you know, and Dad still had hope that I was gonna grow up to be like him." She leaned into his field of vision and Hiccup's eyes shifted away from her. "I'd get presents I actually wanted, and he'd play with me, and it was…good. And then I got older and I didn't get any bigger and I just got weirder and clumsier and into more trouble." He sighed. "And suddenly my Snoggletog gifts were things like axes I couldn't lift, or books about the noble Viking history of beating the hel out of everything that moves. I'd pretend not to be disappointed in my gifts and he'd pretend not to be disappointed in me, and then we'd go back to the signature Haddock family silence until it was time to go to the feast. So yeah." He reached for his cup of wine and drained it. "Drinking with you is an improvement."

"Mm." Astrid settled against his chest. "My family always had a great time on Snoggletog." She tried to take another drink from her cup before remembering that she'd set it down. Her hand fluttered about uselessly for a moment before Hiccup pushed the cup into her hand. "Thanks." She took a drink. "We'd all gather around the fire, Dad would sing, Mama would knit, and I'd play with my gifts. Mom and I would always bake something. And then when I got older I'd help my mom cook whatever she was bringing to the feast." Her eyes closed, and she felt Hiccup pull her cup out of her loose grasp. She could picture her family gathered around the hearth; laughing and smiling and telling stories. Her throat felt full and tight and her voice shook when next she spoke. "And then when Brenna came along I'd play with her, help her open her presents, you know. It was fun. Nothing extravagant, but fun."

Hiccup's breath was warm on the top of her head. "If you were trying to make me feel better it didn't really help," he said, his joking tone not quite sincere.

Astrid wound her arms around him a little tighter. "I never doubted that they loved me. And yet here I am." All those happy holidays together, and she was spending this one here. All that love she'd grown up feeling, and none of it mattered when Stoick dropped the money on the table. "They didn't save me. They didn't even try." With the way the room was already spinning it took her a minute to even realize that she was crying. "They sold me. They gave me up without a fight. Why?" Her voice broke and she buried her face against Hiccup's chest. "Why didn't they try to save me? Why?"

She'd thought she was done crying over this. She'd thought she'd mourned her parents' betrayal enough during those terrible four days locked up and alone, but now, with the reminder of the happy times they'd spent together over her head all she could think about was how all those years of happiness had not been enough to save her life. She had never been one to cry in front of others, either, but Hiccup had a way of pulling her walls down whether she wanted him to or not. Somewhere between the alcohol and the kind warmth of his presence she'd stopped caring about being strong and finally allowed herself to feel the heartbreak she'd shuttered behind anger for so long. Her parents had not loved her enough to save her. Nothing else mattered.

She cried in earnest; her tears soaking the front of Hiccup's shirt while he stroked her back and hair and rocked her gently.

"I wish I knew what to say to make this better," he whispered, and kissed her ear. "But I don't. All I can do is promise you that I won't ever do that to you. I won't turn my back on you, not ever."

Astrid whimpered against his shirt. "You won't remember saying that tomorrow." She hiccupped. "You're too drunk."

He chuckled softly. "I'm not that drunk. You may not remember I said that in the morning, but I will."

Astrid wiped her eyes on her sleeve as she caught her breath. The world was spinning faster than ever, the edges all fuzzy and dark, but in the center Hiccup was clear and solid and smiling at her.

"It tore me up when you died," she murmured, gaze locked on the anchor of his eyes. She watched surprise steal over his face. "It wasn't just guilt, I swear it wasn't. I…I liked you." Details were difficult to see but she could make out his mouth falling open. "I know you think I didn't notice you but I did." She nodded, her hands fisting in the fabric of his tunic. "You were weird and funny and you-you were capable of so much and I liked you. I didn't realize it until you were gone but I liked you. I hated you too, because you were beating me in dragon training and I knew you were cheating somehow, but that just made me mad because it wasn't you. And I liked you." She hiccuped violently again. "It was in such a stupid, teenager way, but I did like you. I didn't know you yeah, but like, I don't know. You were dead and it was my fault, and there was this whole future that maybe could have happened if you had gotten your shit together and not died."

One of Hiccup's eyebrows was climbing higher up his forehead, like a vertically-moving brown caterpillar. She'd have found it funny if she weren't still so distressed. "Like, liked-me, liked-me?"

She nodded, the motion sending the world swinging dangerously and she reached for Hiccup's shoulders to support herself. "I'm glad you're alive," she said, pulling herself close until her chest was pressed flush against his. She sniffled. "I'm glad I'm here with you. Gods, I'm so glad I'm here with you."

She didn't kiss him so much as she careened forwards and caught herself on his mouth. It was a fervent, sloppy kiss; driven by need and hunger and unbound emotion. It was all teeth and tongue and groping, gripping hands hot on shoulders and waists and hips and tangled in hair. Astrid ground down against his lap and nearly moaned herself at the delicious noise Hiccup made. Her hands tangled in his hair and she pulled him after her as she half-climbed, half-fell into the bed of furs behind them.

Astrid hummed into Hiccup's mouth as he settled on top of her, hips cradled between her legs. His hands were everywhere: roaming over her back, combing through the hair at the base of her braid, sliding down her sides. She shivered as he thumbed down her ribcage, her back arching and her hips pressing into his. She teased her foot up the side of his calf and the next thing she knew the hand against her ribs was sliding down over her hip and along her thigh to hook her leg around his waist. She moaned into his mouth and held him tighter as they started a slow grind against each other.

Her whole world was a dizzying swirl of color and sound and sensation. She was sure she was spinning, even pressed into bed with the weight of Hiccup's body on top of her. She needed to get drunk more often, this was wonderful. Or maybe she just needed Hiccup on top of her more often, that was possible too.

Both, actually. Drunk and underneath Hiccup. That's what she should do more often. Most often. All the often.

She swung her other leg around Hiccup's waist and squeezed him tighter, shifting until that hot bulge was rubbing just so against the seam of her leggings and oh gods yes.

"Hiccup," she mumbled against his lips, and he broke from her mouth to trail hot kisses along her neck. Her hands fisted in his shirt as she tried to drag him closer, tried to get him to increase the pressure. As much as the wine she was drunk on his touch, on the little shocks of pleasure that shot through her whole body and left her gasping. Hiccup groaned into her neck and started grinding harder, and Astrid whimpered as those little shocks started building. She rutted into him helplessly, chasing each little burst of color towards the edge; each one seeming to momentarily both relieve and magnify the ache between her legs.

Those pulses were growing stronger, that ache went deeper, and then Hiccup bit down on her collarbone and squeezed her breast with his hand just as he bucked particularly hard against her and stars burst across her vision.

She mouthed his name soundlessly, speech beyond her capability as she let the tide wash over her, ebbing and flowing until it receded completely and left her panting in Hiccup's arms. The world was spinning faster than ever when she opened her eyes to see him staring down at her, a look of wonder on his face.

She had to have him.

Her legs dropped from around his waist and Astrid pushed herself up to grab at his neck and haul him into a kiss. "I want you," she said, words muffled against his lips. She grasped the bottom of his shirt and started to pull it up and off his body but he stopped her and pulled back from the kiss.

"Astrid, wait, we should—ungh." Her hand closed over that bulge in his pants and his words were ripped from his mouth. Astrid giggled and tried to kiss him again but Hiccup grabbed her wrist and pushed her away. "Astrid, no." His hands landed on her shoulders and held her at arm's length. "Not like this."

She pouted at him, squinting to see his face through blurry eyes. "Not like how?"

He sighed. "You don't want this."

She snorted. "Yeah, I do…" She tried to kiss him but he held firm.

"No, you don't. If we do this now you'll wake up tomorrow regretting it."

Astrid groaned and rolled her eyes, which might have been a bad idea because the room didn't stop rolling when her eyes did. "No I won't. Hiccuuuup, I want this," she whined.

"You're drunk."

"You're drunk too."

"Yeah but I'm not Astrid-drunk."

"Astrid-drunk." She giggled. "That's funny. You're funny. Kiss me, funny boy."

"Astrid." She opened her eyes. "I'm not having sex with you while you're drunk."

"I'm not that drunk, Hiccup."

"Oh really?" One of his hands left her shoulder. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Um…" She squinted. "Well if you'd keep your hand still it'd be a lot easier to tell."

He sighed again. "That's what I thought."

Astrid tried to glare at him, but it was hard with the way everything refused to stay steady. The pleasant spinning of the room had turned into a violent, dizzying whirl.

Hiccup was frowning at her. "Astrid?" She blinked at him, willing everything to stop moving long enough for her to get a good look at his face and tell him that she was fine¸ really. "Astrid?"

She swayed and suddenly Hiccup's eyes were growing wide. "Oh," he said. "Oh, okay." He was on his feet, scrambling off the bed and tripping over an errant cushion. "Okay." Everything tilted like she was on the deck of a ship during a storm and Hiccup dashed back to her and stuck a bucket in front of her just in time for her to bend over and vomit into it. "Yeah."

Astrid whimpered, and then her stomach gave another lurch and Hiccup was there, by her side, holding her hair out of the way. "That's it," he said, arm around her back holding her vertical. "Get it all out, you'll feel better. I'll get you some water."

The next while—minutes, hours, she couldn't say—was spent like that; Hiccup sitting behind her and holding her up while she emptied her stomach. The room was still spinning horribly, but Hiccup was a steady comforting presence at her back, and even as terrible as she felt she liked the feeling of him holding her.

She wasn't aware of falling asleep—or blacking out, whichever it was—only of waking up an indeterminable about of time later to stare blearily at the dim cave. Astrid blinked at the low burning fire. Not morning yet. She yawned and rolled over, the arms around her waist loosening to accommodate her change of position. She curled into Hiccup's chest; her legs tangled with his and his arms pulled her close.

She woke intermittently throughout the night; one of them would shift and the other would follow. Hiccup rolled onto his back, she'd snuggle into his side and use his chest as a pillow. She turned onto her side, Hiccup's arms would wind around her waist and fit her body against his. It was the most comfortable night's sleep she'd ever had, she thought sleepily. With Hiccup's breath on her ear, or his pulse a steady beat against her cheek, or that leathery wood smoke smell coming from his skin when she buried her face against his neck, she felt warm and wanted and safe.

"How are you feeling?" he asked at one point, when she'd awoken long enough to desperately down some water. She made a pitiful little moan in reply, and he chuckled and pulled her back into bed with him. "That's what I thought." His voice was thick with sleep and she knew they'd both be out in a matter of minutes.

"Thanks for taking care of me," she mumbled, yawning.

"No problem." Astrid's gaze settled on the hand Hiccup had resting on her ribcage. If he moved that hand just a little higher he'd be cupping her breast. Just before falling asleep again she decided that she wouldn't mind if he did.

Xx

Morning came in earnest, bringing with it an impatient Night Fury and the worst headache Astrid had ever had.

She groaned and swiped at the large black head that kept nudging at her.

"Toothless, go away. We'll go flying later," Hiccup said from somewhere inside her hair. It had come loose at some point during the night, and when she rolled over to look at him he was pulling strands out of his mouth. He gave her a tired smile. "Good morning."

Astrid couldn't help the smile that crept over her face. "I don't know about good. I feel like someone's driving a Nadder spike through my skull. Toothless, no! I am not in the mood for good morning dragon kisses."

Toothless bayed in disappointment, stuck his tongue out at both of them, and then scampered off in search of breakfast. Astrid sat up and ran a hand through messy hair. After draining the cup of water Hiccup had left for her at some point during the night she noticed that he was watching her.

"What?"

"How much of last night do you remember?" he asked, frowning.

Astrid cringed. "Unfortunately, I think all of it. Including parts I'm really hoping I dreamed."

"In case you're wondering, yes, you did tell me I have a great ass."

"Oh gods." Astrid hid her face in her hands. "I actually said that, didn't I?" She peaked through her fingers to see Hiccup grinning at her.

"Yeah, you really did."

They both laughed, and when they'd stopped she looked at him seriously. "Thank you, for um," she ran a distracted hand through her bangs, "For you know, stopping me. Last night." She forced herself to look at him. "I would have regretted it. Not to say that I would have regretted you, exactly, but I would have regretted how…it…happened." She frowned at her own inability to put words together. She shrugged. "You know what I mean."

Hiccup nodded and sat up. "Yeah, well, you were drunk. And really, uh…" He winced and scratched at his neck. "Really I should've put a stop to things sooner. You were really out of it, and I mean I knew you were drunk, so was I, but I didn't realize how far gone you were until you started throwing up."

Astrid shook her head. "No, it's fine, really." She swept her bangs behind her ear and leaned in to kiss him briefly. She regarded him shyly through her eyelashes. "I don't regret anything that happened." She watched the corner of his mouth lift, just the beginning of a smile, but his eyes seemed to speak volumes. "And hey," she chirped, shrugging, "I think we've sorted out the bed situation." That corner of his mouth rose a little higher, and then Hiccup was reaching out and cradling her head in his hands.

"Yeah, I guess we have," he said, though she didn't hear the words, far too focused on the air they puffed across her lips and the glint in Hiccup's eyes. Her eyelids fluttered closed and the seconds until he brushed his lips across hers seemed to last hours.

He was smiling at her when he pulled away. "Happy Snoggletog."

Astrid's grin split her face. "Happy Snoggletog."

Something over her shoulder caught Hiccup's eye and he laughed and reached around her. "Hey look at this," he said, picking up the bucket she'd been puking into the night before. Thankfully he'd cleaned it out at some point during the night. He laughed at something on the side of the bucket. "Drunk Hiccup left you a present."

"Oh no."

He spun the bucket around so she could see the side of it, where 'ASTRID'S BARF BUCKET' had been carved into the wood.

The look of glee on his face was just asking to be punched.

"Happy Snoggletog."

"Don't make me puke on you."

Xx

The house was too quiet.

Oh sure, the fire crackled pleasantly, and Brenna's birdlike little voice would occasionally fill the silence with dialogue from whatever story she was acting out with her toys, but it all felt silent even so.

Ingrid wasn't cooking this year. She sat in her rocking chair, dark eyes watching Brenna play with her toys, knitting needles unmoving in her limp grasp. There was an emptiness in those dark eyes that had settled there the day they'd made the agreement with Stoick and had not faded since.

And how much good that agreement had done.

Arvid looked down at the full cup of tea that had long gone cold in his grasp. There should be so much more noise in his house on this day. Normally he'd be singing carols, and Ingrid would be baking and laughing, and Brenna would be running around getting under everyone's feet while Astrid sneaked her bits of cookie dough.

His eyes squeezed shut, as if he'd open them in a moment to see that sight before him again. As if he could will his eldest daughter back.

But of course he couldn't.

Astrid was gone, and she wasn't coming back. And gone for nothing, his sweet baby girl. He remembered the day she was born; she'd come into the world with little warning. Ingrid had felt the first hint of contractions, and after a short and painful labor there was that screaming little red thing, arms and legs kicking and flailing. Even then she had no patience; he'd joked to his wife that once she'd decided she was ready to come out she wasn't fooling around with something like a long labor. That was always the way with Astrid; she knew what she wanted and she went for it, and Odin help whoever got in her way.

But all the gods help them when Astrid got in her own way. She could tangle herself up worse than anyone else could.

He opened his eyes back to the reality where that stubborn little girl was gone.

Daddy, please! Please, don't let them do this to me, you can't, you can't! Daddy!

Her screams that day had been louder than any he'd heard from her since she was Brenna's age and throwing a temper tantrum. And then the last time he'd seen her, the last image he had of his brave little girl was looking back at them all from on top of that terrible great dragon, fear shining out of those big blue eyes he had given her.

Oh, his dear little baby. His little girl, who he'd held close to his chest on the day she was born and promised her he'd protect her, who had screamed herself hoarse from behind their locked cellar door; who had torn her arm away from him when she'd walked to her death.

He dare not ask the gods' forgiveness for what he'd done.

The silence was shattered by a shrill screech and he and Ingrid jumped to their feet as something small and green streaked through a window and zoomed around the room.

"Dragon!" Ingrid screamed, her knitting needles clattering to the floor. She grabbed the broom in the corner and Arvid grabbed his axe. The Terrible Terror swooped down towards them and Ingrid took a swipe at it with her broom, she missed, and the Terror squawked and fluttered up towards the rafters.

"Get down from there, you nasty wee thing!" Arvid shouted.

"It's a little baby dragon!" Brenna declared, giggling, and Ingrid hurried to scoop her off the floor and away from the center of the room.

"No, no, dear, that's not a baby. He's little but he's dangerous!" Ingrid said, struggling with the squirming little girl in her arms.

The dragon looked down at them out of its round yellow eyes before something square and brown fell from the rafter and the dragon took off out the window.

Arvid blinked at his wife for a moment. There was a package sitting on the floor. A package that the Terror had been carrying. Arvid looked from the small paper-wrapped package to his wife, who shrugged.

"Well go on, then," she said. "Go see what it is."

Arvid approached the package carefully. It was lumpy and square and tied with a bit of leather string which he untied gingerly. The package wasn't moving, didn't smell, didn't seem dangerous. He unwrapped it and stared in amazement at the contents.

It was a dress. A tiny dress, sewn from a shimmery blue fabric with an elaborate pattern woven from threads of pink and orange and purple. Along the edge of the skirt, in neat stitches, was a name.

Brenna gasped. "Look, Mama!" she said, pointing at the little dress, "It's the perfect size for my dolly!"