A/N: I apologize for the long delay, but writing takes time and effort and motivation, and life has been difficult lately. There have been health issues, and work issues, and I'm in the middle of opening a business. And this chapter was long and difficult. But here at last it is.

Oh, and reminder that I do the best I can when it comes to writing this thing and updating. And also that as much as I adore my readers, I write first and foremost for myself. Which means that if writing starts to feel more like a chore than something I enjoy, then I'm going to walk away from it for a while rather than force it. And if that means that I write other things on the side in order to get myself back into it, then I'm going to do that too.

So don't be the little prick who leaves a nasty review on my oneshots because you feel entitled to another chapter of this. You know who you are, and know that I don't appreciate it.


Chapter 27: It's Getting Late to Give You Up

"Astrid, please talk to me."

Astrid practically threw herself off of Toothless's back and stomped across the stone floor on legs that were shaking from more than just the flight.

"STORMFLY!"

"Astrid, come on, please, I know you're mad, I know it's been a weird night, but-"

Astrid cupped her hands around her mouth and called again. "STORMFLY!"

"Astrid, milady, please, just, can we just talk about this-"

"Oh, this drawing is just for me, Astrid; you just look so beautiful like this, Astrid. I just want to have this, Astrid. Ha ha, yeah, it'd be funny to send this out as your new wanted poster, but not like I would actually do that, Astrid. This is just something I want for me, Astrid."

"Okay, yeah, Astrid, I know, okay, I just—"

When her dragon still didn't heed her call Astrid rounded on her unfortunate lover. "What do you want me to say, Hiccup?!" she shouted, her hands balled into fists at her sides as she stalked towards him. Out of her periphery she saw Toothless scrambling into one of the tunnels. He may have an undying loyalty to his rider but that didn't mean he was going to stick around and face the wrath of his rider's mate. Hiccup gulped and held up his hands in a pleading gesture that did little good against Astrid's screaming. "When I posed for that drawing you didn't exactly tell me you intended to send it TO MY FATHER!"

Hiccup winced. "Okay, in fairness, though, I didn't send it to your father. I…sent it to mine."

"HOW IS THAT ANY BETTER?!"

"I didn't know your father was going to see it!"

"WHY THE HEL DID YOUR FATHER SEE IT?!"

Hiccup ran his hands through his hair and cringed. "I don't know okay, it was a stupid decision. I was thinking about how they're all calling you a traitor and the 'Dragon Master's Whore' and all that stupid stuff and I don't know, I got all petty and vindictive and thought, what if I reminded them whose fault this is? What if I remind them of what they gave their sacrifice up for to begin with? A sort of, look how well your little sacrifice turned out, kind of thing. I don't know, it made more sense then, I was drunk and it seemed like—"

"Drunk?"

It was the first thing she'd said since they landed that wasn't screaming, but that one quiet word silenced Hiccup more effectively than any of her shrieking. She watched Hiccup's eyes widen and he gulped.

"When," she began, her voice barely above a whisper, "were you drunk?" Hiccup didn't answer; he merely continued to stare at her with that wide, guilty expression. Astrid took a slow step towards him. "You gave up drinking months ago. Months before you did that drawing." He was lying, he had to be. It was the only thing that made sense. "Where would you even have gotten alcohol? I made you throw everything out."

Hiccup swallowed and licked his lips. "I missed a flask. I found it in the bottom of a scrap bin in the forge a while back."

Astrid felt like someone had wrapped a block of ice around her heart. Her whole chest felt cold. "So, what, you just drank it?"

"No, no," Hiccup shook his head, his eyes fixed on her. "I, well, I thought about how I hadn't had anything in months, you know, but the thing is it wasn't like I could have drank anything if I wanted to because you made me get rid of it all."

"Which was the entire point of getting rid of it all."

"But I thought, what if I held on to this one flask, not to drink it, but just to prove to myself that I wouldn't drink it. It's one thing to abstain because I don't have any other option, but it's another thing if I know I'm not drinking because my self control is stronger than that."

Astrid's fingernails dug into her palms. "And how did that work out for you?" she hissed, her voice colder than the pain in her chest.

Hiccup looked at his feet. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"A good idea you didn't tell me about."

He kicked at a pebble with his boot. "I didn't think you'd understand. I thought you would have told me that it was a bad idea to keep the temptation so close."

"That's exactly what I would have told you BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE BEEN RIGHT!" Her shriek echoed off the stone walls and Hiccup screwed his eyes shut. Astrid ran her hand through her bangs and started pacing back and forth. "I cannot believe you. So what, have you started drinking behind my back?"

Hiccup looked up at her and shook his head. "No, no, it was just the once, I swear."

"When?" she demanded, and watched his throat bob as he hesitated. "When, Hiccup, and don't you dare lie to me again. We spend almost all our time together, so when the hel were you drinking behind my back?"

"A couple months ago," Hiccup began. "That night you stopped my dad and Spitelout from killing that Monstrous Nightmare."

"The one that was gonna hurt Ruff?"

"It heard her baby crying, it was just curious, it wasn't gonna hurt either one of them."

"They didn't know that, Hiccup, you can't blame your dad for—never mind, we're not having that argument again." Astrid shook her head. "So what, that wasn't even that bad, no one was hurt."

Hiccup shrugged, his eyes on the ground. "I don't know, that was a rough week. There had been a raid every night for six days straight and I was tired, and that was the week that Fireworm migration torched that fishing village's harbor and nearly every ship in it, and Camicazi almost killed that Timberjack, and you know that dragon will never be able to fly as well again, and I don't know, Astrid, it just, it all kinda…fell on me at once."

Hearing mention of it now Astrid remembered the week he was talking about. It had been a difficult week for them both; there had been more violence than usual and they'd been so exhausted trying to keep up.

"So you had a rough week, Hiccup that's not exactly anything new for us. If you were feeling bad enough that you wanted a drink why didn't you say anything to me?"

"You were tired. And you weren't feeling well. You had, uh, girl…stuff going on, I think. I wanted to let you sleep."

Astrid's tense shoulders fell. "Hiccup however tired I was, whatever I had going on, if you were feeling that bad, if you wanted a drink so bad that you'd actually drink, I still would have helped you if you'd just have said something."

Hiccup still wouldn't look at her; he stared expressionless at the ground as if he knew there was no defending his actions, which was a start but Astrid wasn't ready to forgive him quite yet. "I'm sorry, Astrid. I just…I knew you'd be disappointed I was feeling that way after so long."

"Hiccup…" Astrid sighed in exasperation. "Relapses happen; I wouldn't have been disappointed you wanted a drink. I'm disappointed that you actually drank, I'm disappointed that you didn't wake me up and let me stop you, and I'm mad as hel that you never said a word to me about any of it, but babe, I wouldn't have been disappointed in you for wanting a drink." Hiccup didn't answer. "And honestly, Hiccup, I think you know that. I think you didn't wake me up because you didn't want me to stop you."

Hiccup looked up, his eyes widening. "No, Astrid, I—"

"You didn't tell me." Astrid stared him down, the line of her jaw set. "Months now, and you didn't tell me anything about this."

Hiccup stepped towards her, his hands outstretched. "I'm sorry, but, Astrid, I was ashamed, and I knew you'd be mad at me—"

"Of course I would have been mad at you!" Astrid shouted, stepping back. There was a gust of air and a squawk behind her and she glanced back to see Stormfly. "But not nearly as mad as I am that you hid this from me!" She shook her head. "I just can't believe you." She turned her back on him and started climbing into Stormfly's saddle.

"Where are you going?" she looked back to see Hiccup's panicked expression. She rolled her eyes.

"Calm down, I'm not leaving you," she snapped. "Not forever, anyway. I just need to be…not here for awhile." Hiccup didn't look reassured, and she almost felt bad for him. Almost. He could probably benefit from a good scare like this. Astrid closed her eyes and sighed. "You really should have just told me, Hiccup."

"Astrid—"

She nudged Stormfly's flank and they were in the air before Hiccup could finish.

She had no destination in mind as Stormfly carried her out of the mountain and into the cold night air. Astrid groaned and slumped forward, resting her head against her dragon's neck. Stormfly croaked inquisitively, and Astrid patted her side but remained in her slouched position. "I don't know, girl. Just…wherever you wanna go, I guess."

She received a sympathetic trill in response. Stormfly may not have been able to understand what ailed her, but the dragon knew the power of a literal shoulder to cry on. Astrid sighed and adjusted her position in the saddle so that she could rest her side against Stormfly's neck and look out over the clouds without worrying about slipping off.

She couldn't believe him.

When had she ever given him the impression that he couldn't trust her with that kind of thing? Had she not made it clear that she trusted him implicitly? Had she not sat with him through the withdrawal, put up with his irritability and his temper? She knew he had struggled, and she knew that even weeks and months on he'd had days where sobriety was difficult. And after how hard he had fought to gain her trust, it hurt that he had not trusted her when he needed her.

It hurt more than she wanted to admit. She had given him everything, after all. Her trust, her loyalty, her allegiance, her love.

Her virginity.

She squeezed her eyes shut as if she could hide from a world in which that fact had been plainly advertised to her parents. She was sure they had suspected as much, but it was very different to know that they knew. That her idiot of a lover had bragged about it.

She groaned again. She didn't remember the drawing very well. She remembered thinking it had been tasteful rather than lewd and had teased more than revealed. It wasn't unusual for Hiccup to sketch her; she'd catch him doodling quick gestures of her and Toothless from time to time, and sometimes he'd do longer studies of her in the lazy calm following lovemaking.

She'd thought nothing of it the night he asked if she'd pose. At the time she had assumed he wanted a visual aid for his…alone time, and it had made her blush but had thrilled her at the same time.

And, to his credit, perhaps that had been the drawing's original purpose. But he had turned it into a declaration of conquest, as if she was just another meaningless fling with a fisherman's daughter passing through some far off port village.

She was struck for the first time with the irony that her father was a fisherman.

Xx

She was awoken by the first soft rays of sunshine an indeterminable amount of time later, unaware of ever having fallen asleep. Her back and legs ached from the awkward position in the saddle. Astrid blinked and stretched and Stormfly chirped a hello. They'd been flying all night, and Astrid squinted at the grey world around her, trying to make sense of where they had ended up.

They were slowly descending, and below Astrid could see glaciers and sea stacks and mini islands covered in snow.

"Where are we, girl?" she asked around a yawn. More light peeked over the horizon just as they cleared a layer of fog, and in the distance Astrid saw the strangest glacier she'd ever seen. At least, she assumed it was a glacier. From the way the sun glinted off the surface it appeared to be ice, though it was denser and greener than any ice she'd seen before.

The massive structure looked more like a tidal wave had frozen completely solid the instant it crashed against a mountain, but that couldn't have been physically possible outside a direct act from the gods.

Perhaps that's exactly what had happened.

They were flying towards the strange glacier, Astrid realized as they glided lower. Stormfly chirped again and Astrid grabbed the saddle just before the dragon pulled into a dive. She picked up speed, her flight less gentle now that her rider was awake.

They approached the glacier and from up close its composition was even more mysterious; there were huge spiky shapes of greens and blues frozen around and over the rocky shape of an island, crisscrossing over and through each other, forming so dense and massive a shape that it was impossible to see how much of the underlying structure was ice and how much was rock. There might indeed have been a mountain hiding under all that ice; it was impossible to tell.

Stormfly made a sharp turn and they dove through an opening between shards of ice and Astrid was momentarily plunged into darkness. They emerged into a cool blue dimness and Astrid could see networks of caves around them. There was some form of mountain underneath; past the ice she could see rock formations and smooth stone. There were areas where the walls were more ice than stone, but many caves they passed through were not that much different than her own mountain home.

Stormfly fluttered to a landing in a smaller cave made mostly of rock, though through the gloom Astrid could see light filtering in through ice walls. Stormfly trilled and settled onto her feet and began grooming her wings. Astrid frowned and slid off her back. It was mostly silent but she could hear unidentifiable noise in the distance. Her dragon seemed unconcerned but Astrid reached for the dagger on her belt just in case. She hadn't thought to grab her axe before leaving her and Hiccup's mountain but wished now that she had.

She stepped around an indifferent Stormfly and as her eyes adjusted to the low light she spotted a smoldering firepit in the center of the cave. On further inspection she noticed a few woven baskets leaning against one wall.

"Where have you brought me?" she mused, more to herself than to her dragon.

"Astrid?"

She jumped, spinning around and readying her dagger.

Valka stood in the entrance to a wide passageway leading out of the cave, her enormous dragon crouched behind her and a large basket of fish in her arms. Astrid relaxed. "Valka?" she tucked the dagger back into her belt. "What are you-" she glanced around the room, back at the firepit and baskets. "Is this where you live?" Valka nodded, a frown on her lips and lines worrying her forehead, and her eyes didn't leave Astrid's face as she set the basket with the others.

"What brings you here?"

Astrid shrugged and gestured to Stormfly. "She brought me here. I didn't really—I just needed to get out of the house for awhile." Her eyes fell to her feet. "I'm sorry for the intrusion. We'll just—"

"Is everything alright?"

She started to answer yes, to say that everything was alright and then to hop back on Stormfly and get out of here, but the words stuck in her throat. How long had it been since she had someone other than Hiccup to talk to? Aside from the conversation with her sister last night, when was the last time she'd actually had a meaningful conversation with someone other than Hiccup? They kept to themselves, and while she'd grown accustomed to the solitude, it would be nice, in times like these, to have a sympathetic ear.

"No." The word came out more choked than she'd expected and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Valka sighed and gestured towards another passageway.

"This way, dear. You must have been flying for hours. You could do with a hot cup of tea, I'd wager."

Xx

Hiccup's signature, an H followed by three lines, was carved into the corner of the wooden table where she sat, staring at the wood grain, as Valka brewed tea over the fire in the center of the cave. Stormfly and Cloudjumper were curled up together in a corner, snoozing. Valka had allowed her to sit quietly while the tea brewed, and Astrid was thankful for the few moments to collect her thoughts.

Finally a mug of steaming tea was placed in front of her which Astrid took with still-cold hands while Valka slid into the chair opposite her.

"So," the older woman began. "What's happened?"

Astrid took a sip of the tea. It was too bitter for her liking but the warmth was welcome after a night of flying.

"Hiccup's an idiot."

Valka hummed into her tea. "Are we talking typical man brand of idiot, or something more Hiccup-specific?"

Astrid quirked a smile. "Maybe a little of both." She and Valka shared a look for a moment before Astrid's smile faded. "I found out he'd been drinking again." Valka's mug paused halfway to her lips. "He says it was just the once, and I want to believe him, but I don't know if I should."

Valka sighed. "When you told me he'd gone sober I did worry about how he'd do keeping it up. It's been a problem he's had for awhile."

"How long, do you know?"

Valka shrugged, shaking her head. "He was already a heavy drinker when I first found him, and that's been…I don't know, three years ago, now? I think it was something he picked up when he was traveling the world. I know he dabbled in a number of foreign methods of intoxication while he was in the east, I suppose we should be thankful he didn't come home with more addictions than he did."

"He was doing really well, too," Astrid mumbled into her tea. "It's not even the drinking I'm mad about…"

And so she explained, as calmly as she could, and with as little shame evident on her face as she could, the situation in which she found herself. Valka listened quietly, her face betraying concern but little else. No judgment or dismissal.

"I'd say that's more Hiccup than general male stupidity, to be honest," she said when Astrid was done. Astrid stared at her near-empty mug. "At a guess I'd say he saw it as a way of punishing the people who did this to you. Although I'll not discount the explanation of bragging. Hiccup craves validation more than just about anyone I've ever met, and you can blame me partially for that, but he's always looked for it in the wrong places."

"I just wish he'd said something to me before now. I would have forgiven him if he'd just said something."

"I can't give you much more of an answer to that than 'men are morons', I'm afraid. Even the good ones."

Astrid watched Valka over the rim of her mug. "What about Stoick?"

Valka didn't meet her eye. "What about him?"

"Was he one of the good ones? Back then? Were you two happy, ever?"

The older woman didn't answer for a long moment, before she quietly said, "Yes. We were very happy. We fought, of course. We disagreed on the dragons, but…we did love each other very much. He liked a challenge and I was definitely that. I always worried the day would come when he would stop enjoying it. One day, surely, he'd grow tired of having a wife who constantly begged him to stop the fighting. I'd given him a son, an heir, but I worried even that would secure my position for only so long. Hiccup would grow and I'd be expected to raise him to be the next great dragon killer, and I knew I could never do that."

Silence fell between them.

"I saw my sister last night."

She could feel Valka watching her. "And how was that?" Her voice was impassive.

"It was…I don't want to miss seeing her grow up."

"And so?"

Astrid stared at the signature in the wood. "She asked me to take her with me."

"Are you going to?" There was that same neutral tone, the one that neither judged nor assumed.

"No. This is no life for a child. Spending all her time around dragons, rarely if ever interacting with people, never seeing home again; she'd grow up to be some wild little feral dragon child."

"So are you going back?"

Astrid shook her head. "I can't, can I? Not as long as this war is going on. And I can't leave Hiccup. I mean, I can, he's an adult, even if he doesn't always act like one," she said, rolling her eyes, and catching Valka's half-smile out of the corner of her eye, "He can take care of himself, but…I'd worry about him, on his own. And it's not just him." The mug she held was uneven; it wobbled just slightly on the surface of the table. "The work we're doing, it's good work. I've done a lot to help him with the raids. We've prevented a lot of damage, helped a lot of people, even if they don't know it." She finally raised her eyes to a strangely knowing look on Valka's face. "I can't just leave it all behind."

Valka's lips twisted in a smile, but there was no humor or joy in it. "It's not an easy choice to make, is it? The ones you love, or the opportunity to do good, and in the process maybe making the world a little safer for them."

"Do you ever regret the choice you made?"

Valka dropped her gaze. Out of her armor Valka still cut an impressive figure, tall as she was, but here in her threadbare, patched tunic she was thin and feminine and more woman that fierce warrior. There was a certain resilience to her, a quiet strength; a woman's strength, Astrid thought. The kind she was used to seeing in women who had buried husbands and children and still woke at the crack of dawn every day to care for land and family and village. The sort of strength that came from refusing to bow to the hand fate had dealt. However, for a moment, there was a small sadness that stole over Valka's face. A hint of the grief and regret that had made her who she was.

"Twenty years on, I don't let myself ask that question."

Xx

Astrid could see how someone could spend twenty years here.

It was surprisingly warm in the heart of the ice fortress. A result, Astrid guessed, of the combined body heat of the thousands of dragons who lived in the haven within the mountain's icy walls. It was peaceful, as well. Even with hundreds of dragons in flight and dozens of hatchlings scampering underfoot there was a distinct feeling of tranquility and safety that permeated the entire sanctuary.

There were species of dragons Astrid had never seen before, even in the farthest reaches of her and Hiccup's travels, and that wasn't even mentioning the enormous behemoth of a dragon who rested in the lake below. She could understand Hiccup's anger that his mother would not bring this creature against the Dragon Queen, for even that huge beast was small next to this goliath. At the same time, though, she could understand Valka's hesitance. This nest was a rare place of safety for dragons, and Astrid felt her reluctance to jeopardize this hidden asylum or the dragons who took refuge here. The Bewilderbeast was a gentle giant, and Astrid could see how such a creature might not even be willing to challenge another dragon in her nest, even at the behest of someone he appeared to respect so deeply.

"You know, to be honest I expected you had another reason for coming here when I saw you'd arrived."

Astrid looked up from the baby Nadder who had fallen asleep on her lap. She and Valka sat on a ledge overlooking the Bewilderbeast's pool, breakfast of a slightly undercooked bread and a slightly overcooked fish spread out between them on a blanket.

"Like what?"

Valka chuckled. "I half expected you'd shown up to tell me you were pregnant."

There was a beat, a pause, just a moment's hesitation before Astrid answered, "No."

Perhaps it was the delay in her answer or the way she'd turned her attention to the slumbering Bewilderbeast below, but Astrid could feel Valka's scrutiny. She shrugged, a nonchalance that wasn't entirely genuine to her voice as she added, "I thought I might have been, but I wasn't."

She didn't mention the few days of waiting and throwing worried glances at the Pennyroyal still growing in her little garden and the wondering whether or not she'd ever be able to bring herself to use it, culminating in a couple of days where resignation turned to acceptance turned to something almost like hope, or the strange lump in her throat that formed the day she finally woke up bleeding.

Valka's penetrating gaze remained for a minute more, but no further questions were asked.

Xx

Astrid very forcefully offered to cook dinner that night.

"It's getting late," Valka said, nudging Cloudjumper away from her plate. "It's a long flight back to your mountain, and you can't have had the best sleep last night. If you're planning on going back tonight then at least nap awhile before you go, but you're also welcome to stay if you'd like. Either just for the night, or longer, if you need."

Astrid glanced to the corner, where Stormfly was curled up with Rumble and Tumble, both nearly full-grown now, as well as a full-grown Nadder she didn't recognize who Valka theorized was another reunited offspring. "I think we'll at least stay the night. Let Stormfly rest her wings for awhile."

"And give the boy more time to stew?"

Astrid nodded, smiling despite herself. "Give him another night to wonder whether or not I'm ever coming back. Teach him to take me for granted ever again."

"You don't have to go back at all, you know." She met Valka's eye to find her serious. "He'll survive without you. And there's nothing stopping you from continuing to help without him."

Astrid frowned. "You're his mother; shouldn't you be on his side?"

Valka smiled. "I want my son to be happy and cared for." Her smile softened. "But I want to be able to say the same of the girl he's with." Her hand reached across the table and curled around Astrid's. "I don't know everything about your relationship, and I hope to see the two of you together and happy, but I want to make sure that you don't stay with him out of a lack of options if things between you go wrong, especially given where your relationship started. You seem good for him, but I don't want you to stay if he's not good for you."

Astrid started to pull her hand away. "Just because you have your issues with him—"

Valka tightened her grip. "This isn't about my issues with him, dear," she said gently. "This is about you, and making sure that you're in a relationship that makes you feel happy and free." Valka gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "And if that's what you two have then I'm all the happier for it. But I know what my son can be like, both the good and the bad. I'm responsible for some of it, after all. Take a married woman's advice, Astrid: you have to be able to handle each other at your absolute worst. If you can't, then it's no good to either of you to stay."

She stared again at that little H carved into the table. "I can handle him," she said, looking up at Valka's concerned face. "I can, really. I kind of want to relieve him of one of his limbs right now, but I love him, and he loves me, and most of the time things are good. Sometimes though, he needs someone to smack some sense into him. This is just one of those times." She sighed. "And this time he just needs a bigger, harder smack than usual."

Valka nodded and released her hand. "Well, that is good to hear. I just can't help but worry. But you're no pushover, and once Hiccup's had some time to simmer I'm sure the two of you will patch things up." She sighed, slumping in her seat. "I just wish I knew how to make things right with him."

Astrid watched as Valka went back to picking at her dinner. "You could help him, you know. I know you don't believe things can change, but if you gave it a chance I know he'd give you a chance."

A significantly more exasperated sigh accompanied Valka's rolling eyes. "Whatever my beliefs, I'd help him if he ever came up with a plan that wasn't half stupid and crazy."

"It's Hiccup. Any plan he comes up with is going to be at least a little stupid and crazy."

"Then I'll wait for the day his plan is only a little stupid and crazy."

"And until then?"

Valka shrugged. "I keep doing what I've been doing."

Xx

It was strange, sleeping alone, after so long spending her nights curled up next to Hiccup. It took her longer than usual to fall asleep, even as exhausted as she was, and the next morning she awoke confused and disoriented and aching for home.

After the dragon's feeding time and a breakfast for humans which Astrid had also insisted on making, she thanked Valka for her hospitality, bid farewell to Stormfly's hatchlings, and set off for their mountain.

It was a long flight, and without having to direct Stormfly's path she had time to reflect.

She liked Valka. She could see the root of Hiccup and his mother's issues, but she could understand Valka's reasoning even if she didn't always agree with her.

Though she did have a point: Hiccup had never put together a plan that wasn't more hope than substance.

Astrid sighed and twisted backwards in the saddle to recline against Stormfly's neck.

"I half expected you'd shown up to tell me you were pregnant."

She wanted a baby. Someday. Not now, certainly. Not when they lived like they did, when their world was at war. Not when her family was a distant memory of happiness marred by betrayal. But someday.

Only how was that someday ever going to happen?

Valka's life seemed happy, for what it was. She was content with her isolation, with her dragons, with her work saving them. And Astrid knew she was happy with Hiccup and Stormfly and Toothless. It wasn't what she had imagined for herself but they were as happy as could be hoped for given the situation, but she did wonder. Valka had lived as she did for two decades.

Astrid did not want this to still be her life in twenty years.

A couple of hours into their journey Stormfly became agitated, and at first Astrid thought she needed a break, but when she tried to direct her towards one of the sea stacks in the small collection nearby, Stormfly only ignored her command and started altering her course just slightly to the east. Astrid was confused, until in the distance she saw a vast swatch of fog and mist obscuring a whole section of the ocean.

Helheim's Gate. They were avoiding the Queen's Nest.

"It's alright, girl," she cooed, stroking Stormfly's neck and scratching behind her crown of spikes. "It's okay. You take as long as you need to get around that place. We're not in any hurry, okay?"

As long as that dragon ruled her nest and commanded her subjects there would be raids. As long as there were raids, Vikings would fight back. As long as the fighting continued, Hiccup would continue to intervene. And as long as Hiccup intervened, she would help him.

This could not go on for another twenty years.

Something had to change.

Xx

It was Toothless's stirring that woke him first.

He hadn't been able to sleep in his bed—their bed—and after staying up far too late waiting fruitlessly on Astrid, he'd climbed onto Toothless's slab and tucked himself under his wing.

Hiccup had known he was making a mistake the moment he'd done it. He'd been stressed and tired and he'd told himself that one night, one drink, one little indulgence after months of doing so well, couldn't possibly be that bad. And really, he'd never had that serious of a problem to begin with, had he? It wasn't as if he'd actually ever gotten drunk drunk that often. Severe intoxication was a rare event. Sure, true sobriety was about equally rare, but that wasn't really the same thing, was it?

So one drink. One little drink. And Astrid? …Astrid was exhausted. Let her sleep.

The next morning he'd awoken with a pounding headache, a blurry memory, and a lot of questions as to what had happened to his once-impressive alcohol tolerance.

When Astrid had asked him what was wrong over breakfast, he'd been too ashamed to tell her the truth.

Months later he'd almost forgotten about the whole thing. If it had been successfully swept under the rug, then there was no point in dragging it out and upsetting Astrid, right?

He should have known better. He knew he should have known better.

Because now Astrid was gone and he didn't know when or if she was coming back.

Toothless shifted, his wing uncovering Hiccup's head and letting light shine into his eyes. Hiccup groaned and buried his face against his dragon's belly. He swatted at the nose that snuffled in his hair.

"Get up."

Hiccup's eyes snapped open. He rolled over, forgetting for a moment where he was, and toppled off of Toothless's bed and onto the floor at Astrid's feet.

"Astrid!" She stared down at him with her hands on her hips and her mouth set in a frown. Hiccup scrambled to his feet. "Astrid, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I—" He reached for her but Astrid held up a hand.

"I'm still mad at you," she said, her voice clipped. He opened his mouth to respond but Astrid stopped him. "Uh-uh-uh, save it. You lied to me, you kept secrets from me, you didn't trust me after all I have done and all I have given up for you. You bragged about having had me and did it under the guise of defending my honor. And then you hid it all from me. So here's what's going to happen now." Hiccup gulped. "First of all, you're going to throw out any more little caches of alcohol you have hidden around here."

"I don't—"

"Well you're gonna do a little deep-cleaning just to make sure. Especially in that forge of yours. I don't know how you can find anything as it is, so we're going to make sure you don't 'find' anything else you've 'forgotten' about." Hiccup nodded.

"Fair enough."

"The next thing you're gonna do, is you're gonna find a way to stop the fighting."

Hiccup blinked. "Bit of a tall order there, Astrid."

Astrid was undeterred. "If anyone can figure out how to stop the raids and the fighting, it's you. So that's exactly what you're going to do. Soon."

He frowned. "What, like I haven't been trying?"

Astrid narrowed her eyes. "You haven't been trying. Not really. You've tried to talk your mom into helping and that's not likely to happen, but beyond that, what have you tried to do, really?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, Hiccup, but something! Go back to Berk, or talk to Gobber now that he knows who you are! Or start somewhere else, go tell Camicazi you're still alive, maybe! Something, anything! Anything other than moping around this mountain and talking about how nice it would be to stop the war once and for all without ever doing anything about it! You're smart, Hiccup. Too smart to waste away in these caves while you spend all your brainpower on silly pet projects—"

"Hey, my flight suit is not silly!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, strapping some leather to your arms and jumping off your dragon is absolutely not a great way to get yourself killed, right."

Hiccup threw his hands in the air. "Why are you all of a sudden on this?"

"I want a baby."

Of all the things Hiccup could have imagined she'd say, that was not one of them.

"You what?"

Astrid straightened her shoulders. "I want a baby," she repeated. "Not any time soon, but one day. Maybe one day sooner rather than later. And I don't want to raise that baby here." Her expression softened. "I want to go home. I want to watch my little sister grow up. I want to find some way to make peace with my family. I want my children to grow up in a world that's more peaceful than the one I grew up in." Her eyes narrowed. "But beyond all those selfish reasons I don't want you to turn into your mother." Hiccup blinked at her, confused. "I don't want you to spend the next twenty years holed up here, believing that things can't change without ever really trying to change them. So you're going to try."

Hiccup sighed, pacing away from her and running a hand through sleep-mussed hair. "What exactly am I supposed to do, Astrid?"

"Take some risks. Do some things you don't want to. Maybe even ditch the mask and try actually talking to some people."

Hiccup looked over his shoulder. "You say that like this will all be so easy." Astrid didn't take her eyes off of him, even as Stormfly came up behind her and picked at her braid. She raised a hand to rub the dragon's cheek. "Like I'm just supposed to turn on my big brain and suddenly I'll come up with something." Astrid's hand moved to scratch Stormfly's chin and one of the dragon's legs kicked at the air like a giant scaly dog. "My skills mostly include building things that half-work and getting dragons to like me. How am I going to—" The light glinted off the scar on Stormfly's thigh and Hiccup stopped, staring at it.

"Hiccup?"

He looked at Astrid, a genuine smile unfurling on his lips. "I think…I think I have an idea."

Xx

"Out you go, Phil, and hurry up, it's late and I'm tired."

"Baa-aa-aa-aah!"

Gobber held the door open while the sheep shuffled slowly out and towards the grass.

"A little further, Phil! You can't be leaving your business in the path where anyone can step in it, now can ye?"

The sheep bleated in reply and Gobber chuckled. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed then a glow coming from inside the forge.

"Heh. I thought I put out the forge fire," he muttered to himself. "Must not have gotten all the embers or somethin'." He sighed and propped the door open with a rock for Phil and started limping towards the forge. Sure enough, when he entered there was a low fire burning steadily in the forge. Gobber grumbled to himself as he crossed the room and grabbed the water bucket to extinguish it. It'd been years since a dragon attack had harmed his forge. The last thing he needed was to burn it down out of his own sheer negligence.

"I need your help with something."

Gobber yelped and spun around, hook over his heart, water sloshing out of the bucket and all over his shirt.

Hiccup was sitting on a barrel in the corner, helmet discarded beside him. He reached beside him and lifted up a second bucket of water. "Need this?"

Gobber glared and took the bucket from his former apprentice. "You couldn't have found a better way of doing this without scarin' me half to death? And soakin' my last clean pair of trousers?"

"If those are your last 'clean' pair I'd hate to see the dirty ones."

"What are you doing here, Hiccup?" Gobber asked, soaking the coals and putting out the flames. There was a whoosh and Hiccup had ignited the blade of his strange sword, illuminating the dark forge.

"I'm going to put an end to this war, once and for all." He smiled, and for a moment that cold young man looked more like the hopeful boy Gobber remembered. "And you're going to help me."