A/N: ALMOST DONE. OH MY GOD. THE NEXT TO LAST CHAPTER. We're nearly there, oh my god. I hope I'm doing a good enough job of tying all these loose ends up, because I'm done writing any more on this thing. I am so ready to close the book on this project. Just this chapter and a short epilogue.

Thanks for all the condolences and comments about my car and my auto accident. It's being handled about as well as could be hoped for.


Chapter 42: Small Steps

Everything was fuzzy, and warm, and somewhere between very comfortable and all too stiff and painful.

He wasn't sure if he was dreaming or dead; based on the last thing he could remember it didn't seem all that likely that he was alive. Everything was blurry but it looked like he was in his house-his old house, his father's house. But why would his bed be in the living area? And why would Toothless be asleep in the rafters? There was a warmth at his side and he blearily made out blonde hair spilled over his shoulder.

The front door opened and he saw the large shape of his father enter the room.

Yep. Definitely dreaming. His father held open the door and was followed in by someone tall and thin, feminine, he thought. They turned their head and he saw long auburn braids. Mom?

Nope. Not dreaming. Dead. Definitely dead. He heard talking but couldn't make out the words. He tried to talk, but only a rough, quiet grunt made it past his lips. His mouth felt dry and his tongue too heavy. The figures he could only guess to be his parents turned their heads towards him. There was a shout of what he thought was his name and they came running. None of this could possibly be real, but oh, it would have been so nice if it was. His father's hand large and gentle on his shoulder, his mother gripping one of his hands... Toothless's big green eyes were open and fixed on him. He heard his name again and closest and clearest of all there were Astrid's blue eyes. He tried to hold on to it all, to this nice dream, but already his whole body felt heavy. He thought he heard his name again as darkness pulled him back down.

x

The dreams continued. Or apparitions, or whatever they were. Sometimes they lasted a few minutes, sometimes only a few seconds. There was almost always someone else there, usually Astrid or one of his parents. Sometimes Gobber. Snotlout once, holding a baby whose crying had woken him. Always Toothless, though. These dreams were always blurry and he never felt like he was fully awake. He never felt like he had much control over his own body. He never had the strength to speak or move more than a couple of fingers.

Every now and again someone would feed him during those dreams. Once, they hauled him up and tried to make him stand. He thought maybe he had, for a moment. Everything was always too hazy to tell.

The times he was most awake, most lucid, were the times when pain would explode somewhere on his lower body. He could never quite identify where. It tore his mind apart, but he could see the most clearly, his limbs felt strongest, he had more control over his voice. Not enough to speak, but enough to yell hoarsely at the burning pain. Those spells never lasted as long as he wanted. He had so many questions, but once the screams started someone was there to force bitter liquid down his throat. It made the pain stop, but it always sent him back into the darkness, back into the dreamless sleep or void or whatever it was he was in.

Maybe he was dead. Maybe these were visions, and the pain and the torture of his family being so close but unreachable was all just Hel punishing him for his sins in life. Even if he went out heroically, Hiccup didn't think he'd done enough good to gain admission to Valhalla. It was alright if he was dead. As long as everyone else was safe: his parents, Astrid, Toothless…he could be dead. Dying to save them was alright. He could live with that.

Well. He could not-live with that.

Xx

The first time Hiccup woke up—really woke up, he felt like he was lifting a small boulder off his pillow with his head. He sat up and groaned. The room was empty, save for Toothless, who knocked over at least two pieces of furniture to get to him.

"Hey bud," Hiccup rasped as his dragon stuck his head under his arm and nuzzled against him. "What's going on? Why are we here?" Toothless just started licking him happily and Hiccup nearly expended all his strength to push him away. He laughed hoarsely and pulled himself into a sitting position. He felt surprisingly strong, like the first time waking after a fever had broken. He pushed the covers away and prepared to climb out of bed- or make an attempt of it anyway, when the sight there stopped him. He hadn't noticed until now. But with his head clear and the blankets gone now he could see. He had survived the battle, but not in one piece. His left leg ended a few inches below his knee.

He stared and beside him he could hear Toothless croon in comfort. Hiccup tried to move his left foot, but nothing responded. He couldn't feel anything to move. He wiggled his leg and felt the strange sensation of the sheets against skin where skin had never been before. He reached out to the empty space where his leg should have been, still expecting to feel something there, but felt only air and linen. Gingerly, hesitantly, he touched the end of his leg. Again, the sensation of nerves healing where they had not used to be shocked him and he pulled his hand away.

His leg was gone. He could see the healing scars of stitch lines and discoloration from burns. He remembered the rigging breaking and snapping his shin. He remembered the bone poking out of his skin. Had the break been so bad the whole leg had to go? Or had it happened later? He remembered the dragon queen's tail heading towards him. He must have fallen, and that would mean…

Toothless snuffled at his leg and the space where it should have been. He looked up and Hiccup could read the apology in Toothless's massive green eyes. Hiccup reached out and scratched behind his dragon's ears, earning a low purr.

"It's okay bud. You saved me, didn't you?" If a dragon could purr humbly that was what Toothless did, and Hiccup chuckled. "Don't worry bud, I'm not mad." He scratched more, and Toothless's tail began swaying like a pleased cat. It caught Hiccup's eyes and he paused. The missing tail fin, gone because of him. The left side, same as him. Hiccup laughed. "Oh, bud. I guess this finally makes us even, huh?" Toothless rumbled and gave Hiccup a gummy smile. "Well, thank you for saving the rest of me." Toothless practically headbutted his chest in his eagerness, and Hiccup hugged his best friend's head. "I owe you everything, bud."

There was a creak and Hiccup looked up in time to see the front door open and a frazzled Astrid step in and drop a basket of fish by the door. She didn't notice him immediately as she stood and stretched her back. "Alright, come and get it, you great big lazy-" She spotted Hiccup and froze. "Hiccup?" she asked, her eyes wide. "Are you awake?"

"Um, yes?" Gods, she looked different. She was wearing clothes he'd never seen her in before. Utilitarian but not battle ready; comfortable but somehow not totally domestic. Her clothes looked nicer than anything he'd seen her in: linen tunic and short wool and leather skirt, both nicely made. And she was wearing her hair differently. At home she wore it in a long braid; when they pretended to be a married couple in town she usually braided a crown around her head. This was something in between. One braid started just below one ear and continued like a headband over her head and down to meet the braid going the opposite direction from the same starting point, where they wove together with the rest of her hair pulled from between the braided halo to form an intricate braid that rested on her shoulder.

She took a hesitant step forward. "Are you really awake? How many fingers am I holding up?" She held up three.

"Three. I'm pretty sure I'm really awake. I-have I been sort of half-awake before? I don't know if those were dreams or if they really happened. I thought I saw my mom-"

"Hiccup!" Astrid raced across the room and practically tackled him. She held him so tightly it hurt, and when she pulled back to kiss him it was with more passion than he could ever remember. She pulled back with tears in her eyes. "I've been so worried. You've been asleep for so long." She sat down on the bed next to him, seemingly trying to stay as physically close to him as possible.

"How long have I been out?" he asked.

"About a month," Astrid said. "You fought off fever but even after your leg healed you'd only sort-of wake up. Gothi said that wasn't unusual but it was still hard. We all just wanted you back but you clearly weren't really with it." She sighed. "It…hasn't been easy."

Hiccup felt his strength begin to wane. "D'you mind if I lay down? I swear I'm awake but I just feel tired."

"Oh, of course!" Astrid exclaimed, jumping up and practically pushing him back into bed and pulling the blankets over him. Hiccup caught the small creases between her eyebrows and grabbed her hands, stopping her worried fussing. She met his eyes.

"Hey," he said softly. "It's okay. I'm okay." He watched tears form in her eyes and she sniffled. Hiccup pulled back the blanket and Astrid kicked off her boots and climbed in beside him. She curled up as close to him as she could, and Hiccup wrapped his arms tightly around her. Toothless purred and rested his head on Hiccup's good leg.

"I just really really missed you," Astrid said softly. "I was so scared I was gonna lose you."

Hiccup kissed the crown of her head. "I'm sorry. I'm here now." Astrid buried her face against his chest and he held her until her sniffles faded.

"My leg's gone," he said quietly. Astrid went still and then her arms tightened around him.

"We don't know exactly what happened. We don't know if Toothless didn't get your leg protected when he caught you, or if he had to tear it off, or what happened. When the smoke cleared, we found your leg, and then we found you."

Hiccup frowned. "In that order?" Astrid made a sound like she was going to speak but cut herself off, and just nodded and squeezed him even tighter. Hiccup's stomach dropped. "So, did you think-?"

"Yes." Her whisper was so quiet he almost missed it. Hiccup kissed her head again.

"So, what then? It's clearly been amputated."

Astrid took a deep breath. "You'd already lost the foot and part of your shin, and were badly burned up to the knee. The bone was sticking out and everything. Our best guess is that maybe something broke the bone before you hit the fire, like maybe Toothless caught you by the foot, and then the fire burned away whatever muscle and flesh was holding your leg together. They had to amputate the rest of your shin. You were lucky to keep what you did."

"The rigging snapped," Hiccup explained, remembering. "It caught my leg and shattered it. That's why we crashed. I couldn't move my foot and the rig wasn't responding. We didn't have enough control to get to of the way."

Astrid hummed. "Do you remember when it was amputated?"

Hiccup focused, trying to think back, but the last thing he could remember before this room was hurtling towards the tail. "No. Last thing I remember is right before we crashed. Why?"

"You were awake when it happened," Astrid said, her voice fragile. "I had to help hold you down. I'm glad you don't remember. You were in pain."

Hiccup chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I'm good with that particular hole in my memory. Speaking of, weird memories, is my mom here?"

"Mmhmm," Astrid hummed. "I told her what happened and she came back. She and your dad have worked things out. It's kind of crazy. They're being so lovey-dovey. I didn't know your dad had such a soft side. He's holding doors open for her, and carrying things for her; yesterday I watched him pick her up and carry her across a puddle. He holds her hand and helps her down off Cloudjumper. It's weird. But you know, even before she got here he was different. Stoick has changed so much lately. Everyone has."

"What do you mean by that?" Hiccup asked around a yawn. He heard Astrid's giggle.

"Sleepy?"

"A bit." His eyes slipped closed.

"I'll tell you later, then."

He hummed in reply. "Be here when I wake up?"

"Of course."

He settled more comfortably into the blankets.

"Hiccup?"

"Mm?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Mm. Are we still going with that? Surely we can drop the act by now."

He felt Astrid sit up. "No, Hiccup, I'm really pregnant."

His eyes snapped open. He expected Astrid to be laughing at him, but her face was solemn. "What?"

She shrugged, blushing. "I'm really, actually pregnant. Surprised me too. It must have happened that last night we were together back in our mountain." She glanced down, her brows furrowing. "At first I was just late because of the stress, but I kept getting later, and then I started feeling weird, and then Gothi confirmed it." She shook her head. "I've only known about a week or so. Haven't told anyone other than my mom and Valka. After everything I did during that battle, after being shot out of the sky on Berk, I just keep expecting to lose it. I'm surprised I haven't already."

Hiccup took her hand and squeezed it. "Are you happy?" He knew Astrid wanted children, but they'd spent so long knowing their world wasn't one they could yet bring children into. With the war over, perhaps that would change?

A small smile teased at Astrid's lips. "A little?" she shrugged again. "I'm sort of trying not to get too excited. It's still so early, and with everything that's happened I really could still lose it. I don't want to get too attached yet." Hiccup nodded. "Anyway, I thought you should know. I'd ask you if you're happy about it, but, seriously, I fell or jumped off a dragon I don't know how many times and worried myself sick over you over the past month. Let's not celebrate or panic too soon."

"I understand. Too early to get excited." He smiled and brought her hand to his lips. "One way or another," he said, kissing each knuckle. "I love you so much. And if this baby has survived this far it must be one hell of a kid, I'm not discounting its chances."

Astrid rolled her eyes and groaned. "Just don't set yourself up for disappointment."

"I know," he said softly. "So I'm thinking Dagny for a girl."

"Hiccup…"

"You're right, that won't keep the trolls away. What about Nostril? That's gender-neutral."

"Nostril?" Astrid asked, laughing incredulously.

"Or Dragonsnot. I just think we need to acknowledge that this baby helped destroy a dragon's nose while in the womb."

Astrid laughed and Hiccup pulled her down into his arms. "Come here, potential mother of my child. Take a nap with me, I've missed you."

Xx

"And there you go," Gobber said, tightening one last strap on Hiccup's new peg leg. "It may not be as good as the original, but I tried to throw in a little Hiccup flair."

Hiccup tested the prosthesis against the wooden floor. It felt odd, having something where his leg had been that wasn't his leg.

"Guess there's only one way to find out," Hiccup said, taking a deep breath and standing up. To be honest, he'd much rather try this without his entire family watching, but they had been worrying over his sleeping form for weeks, so of course they all wanted to be there for him when he took his first steps.

It was still surreal; he was living in the house he'd grown up in, with his father. And his mother. And his wife. And his dragon. And they'd all pretty much been getting along.

The peg-leg held his weight, and holding his balance while standing wasn't as hard as he thought it would be.

"So far so good." He tried taking a step and immediately stumbled, but Toothless darted forward before anyone else could move and caught him. There was a chorus of 'Are you okay?'s, but Hiccup waved them off. Still leaning on Toothless for support he tried another step, and managed to stumble forward. Again his family tried to intervene, to offer their help, but Toothless was right there and would not let him fall. Step by step, he started to get the hang of it. It would take a lot of adjusting, and frankly he'd probably design a new leg once he was able to work again, but Gobber's design was rather ingenious, and it would certainly do.

And after all, he had helped Toothless learn to fly again. It was only fitting that Toothless now help him relearn how to walk.

He made it only a few steps before he needed to rest, but it was progress. Small steps were still steps.


A/N: I gave in and gave you a hiccstrid baby, sort of. I mean seriously, it's kind of Schodinger's baby at this point because whether she loses it or not kind of comes down to which version of events you prefer. I'm kind of leaving it open-ended so that you can choose your own ending based on whether you were Team Baby or Team No Baby. At this point in my life I have to accept that I will never get around to putting in the time and effort that writing another massive multichap would entail and so there won't be a sequel to this (and honestly, I barely have an idea for a sequel anyway, so there isn't a story there that would be worth the time it would take to tell it.). So really, baby or no baby is up to you. ONE MORE CHAPTER! If I haven't said it yet, there definitely won't be a sequel. I just don't have enough of an idea and I don't have it in me. HOWEVER, I might write a few little oneshots and missing scenes set in this AU's universe. There's a few scenes and things that I didn't think of until later or that got cut for pacing, or that would take place after the point where I plan on ending this, as well as a couple of scenes that I want to add to the final chapter to really tie off a couple of loose ends that just didn't seem as important when I was doing the writing, that I can't decide if I want to take the time to add or not before I post the ending.

Final chapter will probably be posted next weekend because I have a pretty crazy week ahead of me.