Chapter 8

I own nothing of Happy Tree Friends except the kids. All credit goes to Mondo Media

Russell sank his sword through a crewmate's chest and allowed him to fall backwards before slicing another's face before backing away. He heard gunshots and jerked around to see both Flippy and Fliqpy struggling to take down other pirates. Eventually, the three were back to back as various pirates surrounded them with menacing gazes. "What are you guys doing?" Russell asked with a glare. "This is my fight."

"No way, pirate bitch," Fliqpy responded with a smirk. "I can't sit by while you have all of the fun."

"We're veterans, Russell. We can't just hide and wait for it to be all over," Flippy reloaded his gun with a glare never leaving his face. "Besides, I have a family to protect, and I know you do too."

"But-"

"You're not changing our minds, ya know," Fliqpy cut him off with a scoff before aiming his gun. "You might as well let us do what we want." Russell couldn't help but sigh with a lowered head before raising his sword once again. "Fine, but don't blame me if you end up dead."

"We can come back anyway." A moment later, the three separated and began the fight once again. Russell soon began to glance around in hopes of finding Alexander and ending this. However, the pirate captain was nowhere to be found, and he cursed under his breath as a response. He jabbed his sword into another pirate before dashing away, hoping for more to follow him instead of raiding various residences for their own personal gain. However, his eyes widened when he saw the townspeople running in the streets as the pirates invaded their homes. Where are you, Alexander? He thought desperately as he sprinted towards the abandoned side of town and hearing the various shouts of his former crew follow him.


Lumpy froze when he heard shouts near the house, and he quickly pulled Umi towards the stairs to make sure she stays hidden. He pulled a small knife out of his back pocket as he motioned for the girl to hide in her room, and Umi didn't hesitate to do what he said. Lumpy stayed out of sight in the staircase and eyed the front door cautiously, and it wasn't long before the shouts became closer. The front door was kicked off of its hinges, and a group of six pirates entered the home. Lumpy shrouded further into his hiding spot as he saw the swords and guns glisten in the moonlight, and he couldn't help but notice that the pirates looked malicious but also confused. "Coulda swore he was in 'ere." One pirate said while he glanced around and took a step forward. Lumpy lifted an eyebrow before releasing a silent sigh. They're looking for Russell. That's not surprising, He thought to himself. If anything, if they find us, they could force Russell to surrender while using us as hostages.

He watched the pirates further step into the home, and he looked up to see Umi peeking from the top of the stairs, and his eyes widened. He wanted to signal to her to go back into her room, but he knew that if he moved, he would be caught. He sent her a silent glare, although it didn't look as though she caught on.

Out of nowhere, a hand grabbed him by the neck and pulled him out of his hiding spot and threw him to the floor. Lumpy winced as he came face to face with the pirate that grabbed him. "What a coincidence that yur here, mate," He sneered. "Care to tell us where yur captain boyfriend is or are we gonna have to choke it out of ya?" A tighter grip caused Lumpy to choke out in pain, and he stabbed the pirate in the wrist with his knife out of reflex, keeping the glare on his face. The pirate holding him motioned for the others to head upstairs to find the girl as the grip tightened. "L-Like hell I know where he is," Lumpy choked out with a cough. "W-What are you gonna do? H-Hold us hostage until he surrenders?"

"We're leaving that to our cap'n," The pirate pulled the knife out of his wrist and Lumpy felt himself losing consciousness. "Although, I think he has other plans, mate."

The last sound Lumpy heard were the frightened screams of his daughter as she vanished from sight.


Shifty's head jerked up as he heard commotion from downstairs, and held his gun closer to his person. He saw his brother holding onto a knife and their sons peeking from behind the shower curtain. The older thief lowered his head as he thought of what to do. It wouldn't be long before the pirates found them and slaughter them. Shifty knew that it he attacked them, it would only draw more pirates to the home, but the thought of his brother and children being killed left a bad taste in his mouth. In the back of his mind he was thinking that the commotion outside would be enough to distract other pirates from what was going on inside the house. He heard the pirates draw closer and realized he didn't have much time to think.

A sharp bang outside the door cause Shifty to press his back against it to make sure the intruders aren't allowed inside. He glanced over at his family desperately, signaling them to stay hidden as best as they could. He winced in pain as he felt bullets shoot through the door and into his back, and one grazed against his ear and almost hit his brother. Lifty squeaked in a frightened tone as he scooted closer towards the wall, feeling the scar on his torso ache because of the pain inflicted on his brother. It had only gotten worse when a sword plunged itself into Shifty's right shoulder, causing him to cry out and cough up blood but keep his place against the door. The brothers couldn't exactly hear what the pirates on the other side were saying due to the muffled sound, but they knew it had something to do with killing whoever was blocking the door.

The next few moments comprised of multiple stab wounds to Shifty's abdomen as though the pirates on the other side were trying to find his heart. Despite his vision going blurry due to the lack of consciousness, Shifty somehow found the strength to keep the door closed. In the corner of his eye, he saw the toddler twins press themselves against the blankets and pillows they had as though to keep themselves hidden. He also noticed that Lifty hugging himself with his eyes clenched tight and brows furrowed, and Shifty knew it wasn't because of fear. He cried out in pain and glanced down to see a sword through his chest and he glanced back at his teary-eyed brother before his vision faded to black.

Lifty could only stare as his twin's body slumped to the floor and watch the pirates get through the door with his corpse in the way. Apparently Shifty had locked them in, which gave Lifty more time to think of what he could do. He didn't have long before the intruders found their way inside, so he had to think quick. Lifty reached for the gun that was in his brother's hands and held it close to him, ready to pull the trigger. He glanced back over at the twins who had put up a makeshift fort in the bathtub in hopes of it protecting them. Lifty held in a breath and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down so he wouldn't act erratically.

Once the door burst open, his first instinct was to shoot whoever had entered, and he was luckily that the shot had instantly killed the pirate. However, once a bullet had grazed his ear, he lost all thought and continued to shoot. At that point, he didn't care if the bullets were killing his enemies; he was focused on making sure to protect the children he worked so hard to bring into the world. He was lucky they never had a chance to spot the twins in the first place. When the first gun was out of bullets, Lifty reached for the other and continued to fire, even if there were multiple bullets in a single pirate. At one point, he kicked a pirate off of him to keep the distance, and he ignored the pain his scar gave him as he maneuvered to make sure none of them reached the twins, even if it meant selfishly using his brother's corpse as a shield.

Lifty cursed to himself when he had ran out of bullets, but his rapid gunfire had caused there to be two pirates left. He threw the gun aside and grabbed his knife, instantly charging towards the two pirates. However, he was shoved to the side and a blade almost made contact with his face. The thief quickly got to his feet to avoid another attack and grabbed the pirate's arm to possibly immobilize him while also dodging the other arm and kicking the other pirate in the face, sending him tumbling towards the wall, his arm slamming on top of the make-shift fort. He glanced over towards it before a grin made itself known on his face. "Oi mate, I think I have an idea," Lifty was too busy worrying about the pirate he held to notice until he heard a squeal from the bathtub. His eyes widened at the sight of Jack being shoved against the wall and Zack held at gunpoint. "Let's make ourselves a deal, greeny. Ya let my comrade go and I won't kill the lads. The only one to die here would be you." Lifty knew for a fact that the pirate was lying, knowing all three of them would be killed whether or not he let go.

His eyes darted around the room to see if there was anything he could use to his advantage and and saw a small knife in the corner. He tried to think as fast as he could before the pirates got impatient. He closed his eyes tightly and-hoping this could work-brought his legs up and wrapped them around the neck of the pirate he was holding, harshly bringing him to the floor with a loud thud. Lifty quickly got himself upright from the floor and leaped towards the knife and successfully grabbing it. While the pirates were distracted, the twin toddlers dove back into their fort for protection. Lifty was glad that his flexibility came in handy from his thief days, although he wasn't sure it would be enough to keep him alive; he didn't have any fighting experience because he was used to running to avoid fights. Only this time, he had nowhere to run, and he didn't have a choice if he was able.

The thief was so deep in thought, he almost didn't notice the pirates lunging in for the kill. Lifty ducked and darted out of the way, hoping to lead them out of the bathroom and away from his children. Luckily, they both chased him down the hall and it caused him to worry less and focus more on how he could defeat them. He was pulled back by the hood and thrown to the ground. His eyes widened as he moved out of the way of a killing blow to the head and getting back on his feet. "When will you quit?" He growled while spitting blood on the ground with a glare.

"We'll quit when you give up, mate."

"You wish." At his response, the pirates charged forward, and Lifty promptly lifted one of his legs to kick one of them in the face, however, it didn't stop the other from stabbing him in the back in the process. Lifty cried out as his arm was grabbed to face the two again and felt a fist collide with his stomach, specifically punching his scar and potentially bruising it. The green-haired twin coughed up blood and hunched over in pain as his arms wrapped around himself and the pirates hovered over him with sneers. "I guess it's time to end this, huh lad." In the corner of his eye, Lifty saw both pirates raise their swords and decided to ignore the pain-filled tears running down his face and think of a last minute plan.

A cry was released when Lifty lodged the knife he had in a pirate's wrist, stopping him from slicing off the thief's head as the other sword stuck itself in his left shoulder. Blood ran down his arm and Lifty used his free hand to attempt to grab the sword currently hanging from the incapacitated pirate. "Not so fast." The pirate's free hand reached forward and held a tight grip on the thief's neck. The greenette gagged somewhat, but managed to slip the hilt through his fingers. The pirate who had his sword lodged into Lifty's shoulder saw what he was doing and plunged his sword in deeper. Lifty held his grip on the sword and swung hard. A head toppled to the floor and the sword in Lifty's shoulder slipped out and fell to the ground. He looked to see the decapitated pirate fall backwards and the hand on his neck tightened. Lifty's vision started to blur and he wasn't sure if he would be able to stay conscious with the pain enveloping his body. He wasn't able to stand with this pirate towering above him and he knew it wasn't good to stay kneeled to the ground like this. Tightening his grip on the sword and hoping he landed a hit, Lifty ran the sword through the remaining pirate's neck, causing blood to spew from his mouth and an even tighter grip on the thief. Lifty wondered if there would be bruises if he let go, but decided not to worry about it.

The two glared at each other to see who would fall first, doing whatever they could to kill the other. Lifty felt nails being dug into his skin and he twisted the sword to inflict more damage, which caused more blood to be spat on him. He slowly began to slide the sword across the pirate's throat in hopes of ending this, and luckily, it seemed to be working. With whatever strength he had left, he lopped off the pirate's head in one slice, causing the hand around his throat to release him. Lifty gasped for air and coughed up some more blood before slowly getting back on his feet. Unfortunately, he was in worse shape than he had originally thought and had to lean on the wall for support: with the bruises around his neck, a bleeding ear, and the gash on his left shoulder that refused to heal -not including the never-ending pain from his scarred torso- Lifty didn't believe he would make it back to the twins to tell them everything was alright.

He collapsed on his knees and found it difficult to breathe and his head fell to the side. He released a sigh and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, brother," He muttered, noticing his vision blur and feeling the strength leave his body. "But I managed to protect them, so I think that's what it all comes down to," He saw the corpses that littered the hall and he released a blood-filled chuckle. "I wish I made less of a mess, though." Lifty wasn't sure if there would be more pirates, but it had gotten quiet outside, so he began to think the attack was almost over. He smiled and allowed himself to fall to the floor with arms wrapped around himself. "I guess my job here is done," He said peacefully as he closed his eyes. "Wish I could have stayed alive though." The thief felt himself go limp and the life soon disappeared from his eyes.