Chapter 5
I don't know how long Leah and I stay locked in each other's arms, cheeks damp with a tear for every day I was away. My tears have slowed but Leah's are still going strong. This moment - being locked in the safety of each other's arms - reminds me oh so much of the day Dad died…
At five years old I was too smart for my own good. As family and friends gathered in the hospital waiting room, Leah sat playing Where's Waldo with Jacob Black – more like playing tug-a-war over who gets the book – but she hadn't sensed the sadness filling the air, the worry not yet eating away at her innards.
I sat silently in the far corner of the room next to Sophie Black, who was holding my baby brother Seth. He was sound asleep, also unaware of the sadness radiating from the adults. We had been here for ages, my siblings and I had spent the day at the Black's, but just after lunch time the phone rang and Sophie said that my Dad had an accident at work and we had to go to the hospital, it was now dark outside.
I had only got a glimpse of my mother when we arrived, before she went down the hallway. People kept going down the same hallway and then coming back looking sad, some crying. I watched the hallway hoping to see Mum's happy face waiting there to tell me everything was going to be okay, but it wasn't there. Adults came and went down the hall way, some alone, others with their partners. I asked Sophie if I could go down the hallway but she said not until Mum came and got me, so I sat and I waited.
Time felt like it wasn't moving, and if I could read time on the wall clock I would say it was broken because the hands just kept spinning in circles going nowhere. People slowly started to leave, not one of them showing the slightest shred of happiness. The ones that caught my eyes gave a sympathetic nod.
The only people that stayed were the Blacks, Calls, and Atearas. Jack and Quil tried to get me to play with them but I turned down the offers. Leah was wasting time looking through the waiting room bookshelf, and Seth was still asleep.
Eventually a lady, with hair as white as the coat she wore, came and got Leah and I. She led us down the hallway in silence. We came to a stop at door 28… that's how old Daddy's going to be next week, I thought, not knowing what waited for me behind the door.
The first thing I noticed when entering room 28 was my daddy, lying still… lifeless… on the hospital bed, hooked up to all different devices beeping and flashing. Mum was sitting next to the bed, head resting on their joined hands.
"Mummy," Leah choked out. Mum slowly looked up at us, her eyes red and puffy from crying, and bottom lip shaking slightly. "Is daddy okay?" Mum shook her head no, not being able to say the word. Leah fell to the white tiled floor in a wreck of tears and sobs, the sadness of the day finally hitting her.
With jerky movements I sat down next to Leah, wrapping my arms around her and letting my sad, worried, fearful tears fall as well. "It's okay, everything's going to be okay," I sobbed into her shoulder.
"He left." Her voice was so soft and tearful I hardly made it out.
"But I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." I knew I was the little sister and she was meant to be comforting me but Lea-Bee was daddy's first born, they had a special bond.
"You left," she whimpered, pulling away just enough to look me in the eyes.
"But I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. I promise Lea-Bee, never again." Her bottom lip quivers and she goes to say something but her eyes drifted by me, catching sight of something, someone behind me. She looks back to me then away, back again then when she goes to look back I do too and see my Chaska watching us nervously.
I half spin out of Leah's arms and motion for Chaska to move closer, I look back to Leah nervously. "Leah, this is Chaska." I look back at Chaska. "Chask this is your Aunt Leah, come say hello." I feel Leah go rigid next to me as Chaska steps forward extending a hand.
"It's nice to meet you, Aunt Leah." It takes a moment before Leah lifts a shaky hand and softly shakes Chaska's hand, gasping quietly when their skin touches – like she didn't think he was real.
"It-Its nice, Chaska, it's nice to meet you Chaska," Leah stutters slightly, pulling her hand back to wipe the remaining tears from her cheeks.
"Why are you sad?" Chask ask biting his bottom lip and ringing his hands together.
"…Just…"
"…Happy to meet you," I finish for Leah. I look back to meet her eyes, looking for any objection, but she sends me a light nod with a shaky smile. I smile and pull myself to my feet, take a step back from Leah, and swat the sand from my knees. Then I get tackled into an awkward – because of the big belly – yet loving and caring hug from Emily.
"Look at you!" she squeals after a moment pushing me arm's length away to look me up and down, fresh tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her lips.
"No, look at you. What, seven months?"
"Seven months' yesterday." She nods and look at Chaska, who is talking quietly with Leah, who still looking shocked. "What, four years?" Emily asks, looking back at me.
"In April," I nod, and pull her back for another hug.
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