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Imprisoned, Chapter 3: Catharsis
When he came back to his senses, and he was rather surprised that he did, he was lying in one of the healing chambers of the palace.
Interesting, Loki thought, not the prison, not the hospital, but the palace.
He was even more surprised to see his brother sitting by his side, staring right at him. It was hard to discern how Thor was feeling. He looked wary, angry and tired, all at the same time. There was also something else that Loki couldn't quite put his finger on.
"I see, you have finally awoken," Thor growled.
Loki slowly sat up, every part of his body aching. With some annoyance he noticed that he was chained to the bed. "T-thor," he croaked, surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded.
"What were you thinking?" Thor barked. "What kind of trick are you playing? Haven't you had us suffer enough? Do you want to kill mother? You caused her a panic attack!"
Loki inhaled sharply, which made his whole chest and throat feel on fire. Kill mother? "Quite the opposite, brother," he rasped.
Thor stood up, towering over Loki. "Is it brother now? I distinctly remember how you told me, not too long ago, that you had no brother."
Loki winced. "I was a fool," he whispered hoarsely, coughing a few times. "But you have come. You are here."
"Of course, I am here!" roared Thor, then continued more softly, "no matter what you say, you are still, and will always be, my brother. I care for you, and so do mother and father." With a sigh Thor slumped into the seat next to Loki's bed. The anger seemed to leave him and now he just seemed tired.
Loki was overcome by a wave of emotions. "Six months, and you never once visited." He'd meant for it to sound mocking, as if he did not care. As if he would not care if Thor really gave up on him for good. But he somehow did not succeed. He hated to have his feelings exposed in such a way. He hated how vulnerable he must seem, but he was weak, tied to a bed, stripped of his magic and in desperate need of help.
Thor looked at him, his eyes weary. "Because I was angry with you. If you hadn't the emotional depth of a rock, you might be able to realize that people can be incredibly mad and still care for someone at the same time. I would have come, eventually. And father did not plan to imprison you forever. Just until you have learned your lesson and we weren't quite so angry anymore."
Thor took a glass of water from the nightstand and helped Loki, whose hands were both tied down, drink. After that, they stared at each other.
"You are still angry?" Loki finally asked, not knowing what else to do with the sudden declaration of brotherly love. He found the concept of hating and loving someone at the same time baffling, but also intuitively understood what Thor had meant.
"Angrier than before, I would say," Thor snarled, "What were you thinking? You almost..." he trailed off. "But you must have known this would not work," his gaze softened, "You are not truly this desperate, are you?"
"Desperate?" Loki echoed. "Perhaps. I saw no other way."
"What are you talking about?" Thor raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Loki had always been able to read his brother rather easily, but right now he was like an intricate puzzle Loki was unable to solve. He seemed angry, but was he angry because he thought Loki was playing tricks on them or because he thought he had attempted suicide? He also saw fear on his brother's face. Fear and hope. But was he afraid of his brother escaping or something else? Perhaps Thor did not know how to feel and that was why his facial expression was so hard to read.
But it did not matter. He would warn him and then they could do something about the Other and send Loki back to the dungeon, where he would for once be able to enjoy the quiet solitude.
"There are," he looked around the room, making sure no one was there, before his gaze settled on Thor, "enemies within Asgard… They have killed and replaced some of the guards."
Thor studied his brother, his expression guarded. "You are delirious. Heimdall would-"
"Heimdall can't see everything," Loki hissed, ignoring his burning throat. "Especially not if sorcery is involved."
"Wouldn't you know all about that?" growled Thor.
"Brother," Loki sighed. He should have known Thor would not believe him so easily. "You have to believe me," he looked Thor in the eyes, trying to look as sincere as he could. "There are enemies within Asgard and they are posing as guards."
"Why should I trust you?" Thor asked, sounding wary and tired.
Loki sighed again. "I am too exhausted to fight you, brother. My time in prison has shown me that, after all that has happened, I still consider you family, and Asgard home. I know I crossed a line when I attacked Midgard but believe me when I tell you I would not, would never, turn on Asgard."
Thor stayed quiet for a long time after that, just looking at his brother, trying to judge the sincerity of his words. Finally, he said, "I don't entirely trust you, but I am willing to believe you. Just… if this turns out to be a trick of yours, don't mock me for believing there is still good left in my brother."
The words made Loki cringe, but he nodded his head.
"So, tell me: What exactly happened?"
Then, the door to the healer's room opened, and Lady Sif walked in. Or someone who looked like Lady Sif, Loki wasn't quite sure. The chains that tied him to his bed also seemed to control his magic, his head ached, and his vision was still a bit clouded.
As soon as Loki saw her he knew he was screwed. There was no way Thor was going to believe him over her. And no matter whether she was real or not, she would convince Thor not to trust him.
"Ah, Lady Sif," Thor smiled, "How good to see you. To what do we owe this pleasure?"
"I just wanted to see how Loki was doing, for old time's sake. And to see how you were holding up. It is horrible, the Queen and the King incapacitated, leaving Asgard so… defenseless. I hope… nothing will happen to them."
Although directed at Thor, she kept her eyes on Loki while she said them, and Loki felt a familiar panic rise within him. This was not Lady Sif. Her words were not full of suspicion as one would expect. They were deliberate and clearly a threat, Loki was sure, meant to keep him from talking.
Thor for his part seemed to be oblivious to what was going on. "Regarding that, Loki just wanted to tell me something, right, brother?"
Loki slowly nodded his head, keeping his eyes on Sif. "Right… brother."
"Really?" Sif asked, sitting down on his bed, hand on her sword, "do tell."
"N-nice to see you… Sif," Loki stammered, keeping his eyes on her, painfully aware of the fact that she had positioned herself between Loki and Thor.
"Good to see you awake and… well, Loki," she replied.
"Loki was just about to tell me about enemies infiltrating Asgard."
Sif laughed. "Enemies? Infiltrating Asgard? I am sorry, but I think your brother is either losing his sanity or he is playing you for a fool."
"It can't hurt to hear him out, can it?" asked Thor defensively.
"Right," she drawled, "it can't… hurt."
Loki stared at Thor, praying to the Norns that his dim-witted brother would for once be able to read the signs.
But as always, luck was not with him. "He talked about sorcerers in Asgard, posing as guards. Right, brother?"
Loki just gulped. He was most definitely not used to being so out of control.
"Are you sure it is wise to listen to him?" Sif asked, before Loki could say anything. "He has faked his death before, maybe he is trying to do so again. He cannot be trusted."
Thor had his eyebrows wrinkled. Loki was losing him again.
"What lies has he told you?" Lady Sif continued. "Listen to me, he will betray you. You cannot believe a word he says."
"That is a little harsh, don't you think?" croaked Loki.
"He just needed a way to get your attention, and now that he has it, he is going to manipulate you again."
"Brother," Loki started, deciding that subtlety would get him nowhere. "This is not Sif."
"What are you talking about?" Thor asked, looking at Loki with a frown.
"Don't listen to him," said Sif. "Whatever game he is playing, do not play along."
Loki closed his eyes. This was the end. Thor would never believe him over the supposed Lady Sif, and Loki was weak, could not use his powers, and was unable to move his hands. They would kill Thor and Odin and Frigga, and there was nothing he could do to stop them.
"I am sorry," Loki mumbled. And he was surprised that he meant it.
But just like in the cell, when all hope seemed lost, an idea came to him. He gathered all of his strength, shifted on his bed, and kicked Sif off it.
Caught by surprise, she toppled to the ground.
Loki had made a gamble – if this was a shapeshifter, he was in real trouble, but if the fake Sif was an illusion covering a real person, the impact should be enough to break it.
This time, he was lucky. It had been an illusion. Where the image of Sif should have been, was now a blue skinned woman.
"Loki, wh-"
Before Thor could finish his sentence, she had stood up, drawn her sword and risen it above her head. Loki wasn't quite sure who she was about to kill, him or Thor, and he would never find out, as Thor had thrown a dagger into her face.
The woman with dark blue skin and hair fell to the ground. Proxima Midnight, Loki thought upon closer inspection, as relief washed over him.
"One of mine?" Loki asked, referring to the dagger, stuck in her face. He had always had trouble dealing with such serious situations, using diversion and jokes to cope.
"I was just keeping them save for you," Thor shrugged, keeping his eyes on the dead woman on the ground.
"Can I have them back?"
"Not yet," Thor smirked. "It seems you have been truthful."
"It happens every once in a while."
Thor shook his head, trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened. "Even though the situation is dire, I must admit I am quite relieved that what you have done has neither been a suicide attempt nor a trick in incredibly bad taste," he smiled weakly at Loki. "Now I'd really like to know what's going on here."
Loki took a deep breath. For the first time since he had noticed the Other's presence in the prison was he able to somewhat relax.
TBC
A.N. I can imagine Thor's side of the story. Sitting somewhere in the castle with his mother and father, when a guard comes in and informs them of what happened. Frigga breaking down in tears. Odin breaking down like in the first Thor movie, falling into Odin sleep. Thor rushing to his brother's side. First he is worried and scared. There are guards with Loki (are they real?) who he kicks out right away because he needs to be alone with his brother. He sits by his side, shocked, devastated, scared and full of guilt. But as time goes on and it is becoming clearer that Loki will pull through, he starts to question everything, and he becomes angry... But he also wants to believe Loki so desperately, wants to believe he is a good guy on the inside.
I hope I managed a realistic scene between brothers. A lot of the stories that deal with suicide attempts have all the other characters be guilty, sad and understanding, but oftentimes in situations like these the involved parties show a rainbow of emotions, different in every individual. I've found that shock and anger are often prominent.
I love the many different paths this story could take at every turn. Loki has not imagined things, but what if he did? If he really was just imagining things? Maybe he could have woken up with a healer and a guard in the room, imagining they were fake he would kill all of them somehow. But I love Loki too much to do any of that...
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know in a review.
