Chapter 16. Reasons for fighting

Sometime after sunrise, Kenshin made his way to breakfast and found his commander already there. He nodded a greeting to Takasugi-san and gingerly sat down across from him. A moment later, a maid brought him a breakfast tray. Kenshin couldn't quite keep his disbelief from showing as he took in the finely arranged display of vegetables, grilled fish, traditional miso soup, and rice.

Is this how samurai live?

It seemed too stark a difference from what he was used to. However, considering how amusing Takasugi-san seemed to find his ill-mannered gaping, maybe he needed to get used to casual displays of wealth. Especially if Katsura-san was sure about having him to pose as samurai. With these thoughts in mind, Kenshin dug eagerly into the delicious dishes.

"I will leave soon to handle the business of the Kiheitai."

Kenshin glanced up from his food and gulped.

"You will be under Katsura's command now." Takasugi-san looked at him intently, his eyes piercing. "He will take care of you."

Kenshin paused, but at the lack of anything good to say, he only nodded in answer. But why is he looking at me like that?

It seemed enough for the Kiheitai's commander. Without a further word, Takasugi-san took his sword, rose, and left the room, passing Katsura-san and another young man on his way out.

"Good morning, Kenshin. I see you are almost finished with your breakfast. Very good," Katsura-san said in greeting, before gesturing to the youth at his side, "I'd like to introduce you to Katsura Taro-kun. While I attend to some business, he will help you purchase the things you are going to need. We will regroup here at noon and then take our leave."

The young man was a bit older than Kenshin, but clearly still in his teens. Maybe fifteen years or so? He had his paired swords and he was dressed just as finely as any other samurai Kenshin had seen in the estate. His ki felt hesitant, but unusually warm — and his expression mirrored the feeling.

Realizing he was a bit too late to greet the youth in turn, Kenshin grabbed his sword and rose to stand, looking at the newcomer for any cue about what to do.

Taro-kun seemed to be made equally awkward by the silence. He glanced at Katsura-san for approval before murmuring quietly, "It's nice to meet you, Kenshin-kun."

"Good. I will leave you to it. Here, Taro-kun. Remember, all the expenses are on me." Katsura-san handed the purse to the youth, nodding at Kenshin curtly before taking his leave with long, hurried strides.

Both youngsters were left standing alone in the large dining room.

It was awkward.

Kenshin truly had no idea what to say to the other boy. He wasn't good at dealing with people in general, but wasn't it usually expected for him to introduce himself? But Katsura-san had already done that for him... Ugh, what to say?

Should he say that he, too, was glad to meet this Taro-kun?

But it seemed too late for that, too…

Kenshin shuffled his feet hesitantly. What should I do?

"Well, you clearly aren't samurai... So why does Kogoro-san want me to equip you as one?" Taro uttered in disbelief.

Kenshin looked up and seeing the boy's expression, all his shy hesitations bled away. Why was everyone constantly underestimating him? And who was this Taro-kun to doubt him, too? The youth couldn't be much older than him! His annoyance sparkling, Kenshin muttered testily, "Katsura-san wants me to work for him in Kyoto."

"No way, a little kid like you... what use could you be for him in the Capital?

"I'm fourteen!" Kenshin barked back, automatically adding a few months to his age. It wasn't like there was really need to count his age from the New Year, was it? Besides, it could very well be true! Straightening his back to stand taller, Kenshin tried to deepen his voice, "I will fight for him there."

"What? Truly? With what?

"My swordsmanship, of course." Kenshin retorted. Is this kid stupid or something? Doesn't he see my sword?

"Oh... but wouldn't you have to be really good, then?" Taro questioned with a bit of uncertainty leaking into his voice. And on his face, there was a look of... jealousy?

What...? Why for?

"I am good." Kenshin said slowly, stating the fact without a hint of boasting. "Is it really so hard to believe?"

Taro glanced at his feet and reddened, almost like he was embarrassed?

"Well, yeah. I am not allowed to fight. They always tell me to stay here and train. And I always train, but how could I get any better if I can't fight for real?"

He... he just wants to fight! Just like me! Kenshin smiled, "That's what I think, too!"

"Really?" Taro looked up.

"Yeah. I fought with my Master to leave. He didn't want me to fight either. But I wanted to join the cause and fight for my beliefs, just like the others...so I left. But I wouldn't recommend that. Maybe, if you get good enough, you will be allowed you to fight, too?"

Taro considered that for a moment, before he, too, smiled. "We will see... but let's get going. We need to get you a lot of things. Kogoro-san gave me the money for it, so we might as well use it!"

Kenshin nodded, a real smile rising to his lips. It could be nice to spend time with someone my age, even if it's just for a few hours...


It turned out that shopping with Taro-kun was quite fun. The other boy was startlingly good company and he had lots of funny remarks to make about people they passed in the streets. However, they weren't mean-spirited like the soldier's jokes, but amusing observations about how people walked, dressed and speculations of where they had been or where they were going.

The amazing thing about Taro-kun was how well he knew his way around the better parts of town and the shops samurai frequented. It was like Taro-kun was familiar with every single shopkeeper in town and always managed to get their recommendations and cheaper prices just by talking.

It was a feat Kenshin could have never managed on his own and made Taro-kun an expert guide on this shopping expedition.

They begun by buying new clothes for Kenshin. In addition to getting comfortable everyday wear like tabi socks, yukata and the like, Taro-kun instantly decided to buy two new kimonos for him in a really nice dark blue. The other was practical cotton, though a thicker weight than Kenshin was used to. However, the other one was made of a fine silk blend — and it was something Kenshin would have never even dreamed of buying on his own.

Taro had cheerfully chosen the colors and fabrics for the clothes. Kenshin had let him, feeling helpless about all the choices. It wasn't like he knew what samurai dressed like!

However, while he didn't have anything against getting better clothes, he had put his foot down when Taro had suggested getting geta clogs and undivided hakama. Sure, they could be more formal and kinda cool, but he truly didn't see any point in using Katsura-san's money for buying clothing he couldn't fight in. In the end, Taro-kun conceded and chose two thick cotton gray hakama, in a seven pleated, divided cut to go with his sandals.

The shopping trip continued with other necessary items, like new traveling gear, followed by some quite frivolous top of the mind purchases, like the new purse, new lacquered comb and leather woven hair ties — for keeping that crow's nest in order! The list continued on and on.

The sun was reaching its apex when Taro noted all of sudden that if Kenshin was to be samurai, he would need a second sword — a wakizashi.

It wasn't like Kenshin could disagree with the statement, but it gave him a nasty pang of regret. When he had left the mountain, he had left his old trusty sword behind for the very reason that he wasn't samurai.

To make thing more annoying, well... it turned out that finding a wakizashi that actually suited him on such short notice was a ridiculously difficult task. Most of the blades were just too long and heavy for him to use efficiently. After an hour of constant disappointment, Taro jokingly suggested that they could take a blade from women's tanto, a short dagger, and replace the hilt.

Kenshin scowled at the remark and testily spat out that he wasn't a girl. Even if he still happened to be small like one!

Thankfully, at the fourth smithy they finally found a blade that passed Kenshin's muster for practicality and functionality.

However, while it was a fine blade... it was a little bit too fine.

The folded steel was of excellent quality, the balance was perfect, but there were engravings near the handle and even worse, the tsuba had fancy dragon embossing made of real gold. Those drove the price absurdly high. Kenshin would have survived the whole winter living with master on that much money...

But when Taro saw that the blade passed his requirements, he merely sighed with exasperated relief and eagerly paid the price. Without even pausing to think twice about it!

It was then that Kenshin truly realized the difference between their circumstances. They were literally worlds apart. Taro was used to living in wealth and didn't see money as something rare. No, for him it was just something to be used as he pleased.

Kenshin, on the other hand... well, he had never had anything worth much. For him, anything new was always a remarkable luxury. Clothes and tools were always used to the breaking point, and sometimes even food was too much to afford.

It was like, despite being of being close in age and having similar interests, they were living in completely different worlds. Was this because the difference in their social classes? Of having been born into into privilege?

Or was it truly?

After all, Taro, too, wanted to fight for sonno joi. Like him, Taro agreed that the Shogunate wasn't doing a good enough job to protect the happiness of the common people.

But why would Taro believe that, exactly?

It didn't make any sense! The Shogunate's laws were good for those born into higher castes. Why would Taro have a problem with it?

The thought kept bothering Kenshin, so finally he had to ask. "Taro... why do you want to fight?"

"I don't know... I don't like those heavy taxes the government and those foreign pigs bleed out of Choshuu." Taro started hesitantly, before frowning. "Well, no... That's not my reason, not really. That's something I hear father and Kogoro-san debating all the time... Actually, I just want to help my family. They want this, so I will do my best to fight for them."

Huh...

So in truth, our reasons aren't even remotely similar. Kenshin frowned, feeling a bit disappointed. But the thing was, even if they didn't have much in common… he couldn't help but to like the other boy. Taro was nice, funny and eager to help.

"Hey... you know, you look almost like a true samurai now. Those clothes and swords really do the trick. But, hmm... there is still something missing. Oh, I know! Here, let me!"

"Hey, what are you doing to my hair?!"

"Calm down.. all samurai wear their hair in a topknot. Of course, for this crow's nest to be styled properly, we would need to shave away the top and oil the rest for a clean look. But unfortunately we don't have the time for that." Taro muttered while slipping Kenshin's hair out of his ponytail and letting it fall freely to his shoulder blades. Then he combed it roughly with his fingers and deftly tied it much higher than usual, almost up to the crown of his head.

"Now you look like a proper samurai!" Taro declared, clearly proud of himself.

"I wouldn't know," Kenshin scoffed sourly, rubbing his aching scalp. "It's not like I can see it myself."

"True... oh, I have an idea! Follow me!" Taro grinned and dashed down the street, back in the same direction they had just come from.

Lugging the purchases he hadn't already changed into, Kenshin rushed to follow. Just what is he up to now?

Taro-kun disappeared into one shop down the street, only to come back to the doorway to gesture at him. "Come! Come in, already!"

The place seemed just a tiny showroom for a larger business, a smithy of some sort. However, when he stepped inside, he saw it was a jeweler's shop.

What the...

Taro was standing next to a table displaying a selection of small, hand held mirrors. Before Kenshin could protest at the frivolity of it, Taro grabbed one and held it out for Kenshin — showing him his reflection clearly for the very first time.

...He is right. Kenshin realized.

Unlike the distorted image he had sometimes noted reflected in water, the mirror showed him a stranger… albeit one that had his foreign colors. No longer did he look like the scruffy country bumpkin Master had always called him, but instead…

Do I look a little older?

Kenshin turned his face a bit, trying to see better. But yes, it seemed to be true.

It has to be the hair.

Somehow, the topknot made his face seem narrower, his cheeks more defined, and even his chin seemed pointier. It was like all the baby fat has disappeared from his face. He wasn't particularly nice to look at, no — he resembled something like a starved ferret, but no longer did he look like a 10 year old playing swordsmanship either.

Maybe, in spite of everything, Katsura-san's crazy plot could actually work? Kenshin frowned thoughtfully. And speaking of my upcoming trip to Kyoto...

"Hey Taro, how can you stand to ride all day? Is there some trick to the saddle or something?


That afternoon, Kenshin and Katsura-san left for Kyoto. Their saddle bags were packed full of supplies for the incoming trip, including water, food, and heaviest of their personal belongings. The rest, Kenshin had bundled neatly in his bedroll and strapped tightly behind the uncomfortable campaign saddle.

When Katsura-san had seen his and Taro's purchases, he hadn't even batted an eyelid at all the packages nor the severely depleted money pouch. Instead, the older samurai had simply nodded his approval and said, "Very good, Himura-kun."

It felt like this whole farce was becoming more real by the moment.

According to Katsura-san, the best route to the capital was to go through the mountains from Hagi to Suo province and then follow the coastal road all the way up to Bizen.

This wasn't much of a surprise to Kenshin. While he hadn't ever been to the capital, he had spent his youth roaming the southwestern countryside with his master and they had often traveled the popular route.

The matter of riding, though... well, after the rocky start, Kenshin had to grudgingly admit that it wasn't that bad. The more time he spend in the saddle, the easier it was to adapt to the horse's movements. Not that the first few days hadn't been a painful experience to his unaccustomed muscles...

Another thing that Kenshin noticed, to his acute embarrassment, was that his new kimono didn't want to stay properly tied. Maybe it was because of the thicker, better quality weave? Or perhaps he was just too thin... but regardless of why, his sash would always loosen before he even noticed and flashed just a little bit more than was proper of his pale chest. However, no matter his frantic efforts, there wasn't much he could do about it, unless he sewed strings into his collar and tied it shut.

So finally, Kenshin gave up correcting it.

Besides, when he finally got over his self-consciousness... it wasn't that bad. The weather had stayed hot and feeling a nice sea breeze on his sweaty skin was quite nice.

What he hadn't quite expected from the travel, however, was how Katsura-san kept telling him about samurai and explaining nuances of how he should behave. It was strange to speak while travelling. But to his surprise, Kenshin found the instruction quite interesting… and more importantly, all too necessary.

He hadn't even realized how little he knew about etiquette!

The only problem was that like Master, Katsura-san seemed to be overly fond of the eloquent words that were beyond his understanding of language. And worse, it wasn't like he would dare to ask for clarifications!

It didn't help either that Kenshin hadn't made his mind what to think of the older samurai.

While Katsura-san was kind and cultured... he was also a powerful, dangerous man. And despite his friendly manners, he was also Kenshin's direct superior. It was something he couldn't forget. After all, samurai were all about status.

The constant feeling of mismatch between Katsura-san's manner and presence hadn't lessened either. No, somehow, it seemed to be getting even more pronounced now that he was spending hours and hours in the samurai's company.

It was making it very hard for Kenshin to trust him.

Or was he just making things overly complicated again?

Katsura-san had never been anything but kind, polite and courteous towards him. What did it matter if he wasn't quite sure how to act towards him? The best he could do was be as polite as he could and observe. Sooner or later things would have to become clearer.

The problem of keeping up his best act was that he truly didn't know that much of the intricacies of the highborn etiquette.

And sadly, it didn't take Katsura-san long to notice it.

Instead of the disappointment Kenshin had expected, Katsura-san merely huffed under his breath and changed his lessons on the spot. The over the top detailed instructions condensed to advice that was far easier to understand: if he was ever unsure how to behave, he should just keep to himself and stay silent.

Unsurprisingly, this was a huge relief to Kenshin.

Their camping and meal arrangements didn't go as Kenshin had expected, either.

It started on the first evening. In mere moments after they had stopped for the night, Katsura-san had noticed that Kenshin had absolutely no idea how to handle the horses. So instead of trying to instruct him from the sidelines, Katsura-san had taken the matter into his own hands, ignoring the fact that he had just spend the day detailing how among samurai, the higher ranked man never did menial tasks if it could be avoided.

It had left Kenshin feeling useless and he had ended up building the campfire and cooking their meal.

For some reason, this had amused Katsura-san greatly, especially after he had noticed how easily cooking came to him. Feeling like the matter required some clarification, Kenshin had blushed and tried to explain that he had cooked most of the dishes during his training years. It was an interest he had developed purely out of self-preservation. After all, Master's cooking had truly been a disaster.

Katsura-san hadn't commented on it more, merely nodded and complimented the food.

Kenshin hadn't managed to hide his pleased surprise at all. It wasn't like anyone had ever complimented his cooking!

Another noteworthy event had been early on, back on the second day when they had reached the provincial border. Kenshin had been bit nervous to cross the border out of Choshuu, especially dressed as he was. But Katsura-san had confidently ridden forward and calmly announced to the guard, "Katsura Kogoro travelling to Kyoto with his bodyguard, Himura Kenshin."

The border guard had taken their passes for a cursory look, before nodding and stepping aside. "Very good, Katsura-san. Best of luck to your work in the capital."

And then, they had ridden past the border.

Like it was easy.

Kenshin couldn't help but stare. Passing the border had never been easy before. When he had traveled with Master, the border guards had always had something disdainful to say to the ronin traveling with a foreign looking kid.

Is this the difference between being samurai or not?

Or is it just travelling with him? Kenshin frowned, stealing a curious look at Katsura-san's back.

However, the experience had made it clear that Kenshin, too, could pass for samurai. After all, the border guard hadn't spared a moment's notice on him, nor had he remarked on his hair either.

...Which is weird. Shouldn't it be twice as strange to see samurai as odd looking as I am?


In middle of 8th day on the road, the polite routine they had settled into was broken. They were traveling at a particularly slow pace because of the sweltering heat. Katsura-san had seemed somehow distant throughout the morning, when he suddenly asked, "Kenshin-kun, have you ever killed a man with the Hiten Mitsurugi?"

Kenshin paused, not knowing how to take the unusually personal question. But when he thought about it, he finally answered, "No."

Because, when thinking about it logically... those two samurai in Settsu weren't killed with Hiten Mitsurugi style. It had been just him and Kenta using basic strikes.

And it was over so quickly too...

"But are you willing to?" Katsura-san interrupted his morose memories.

"Yes."

It wasn't like there was any question about it. He had already agreed. And truly, the art of the sword was the art of murder. Master had told him that right from the beginning.

"Why? If I may ask?"

Why is he asking me this? Kenshin glanced at the samurai riding by his side, noting the older man's pensive expression. It seemed he had something heavy on his mind.

I already agreed to follow him, so what else could it be? Is he somehow displeased with me?

Struggling to put his thoughts into proper words, Kenshin hesitated, "It's for a better world. I want to help people... to drive away the foreigners and replace the Shogunate. To fight for sonno joi."

Somehow, his answer only served to deepen Katsura-san's frown and he turned to look at Kenshin intently. "Why do you want to drive away the foreigners?"

Huh? But that's...

"Err, well... because of the foreigners, the government is doing a bad job and they have forced heavy taxes on the common people."

Isn't it so? Everyone seems to dislike the foreigners just for that reason...

"Hmm. My teacher, Yoshida Shoin admired the foreigners. Especially their culture and technology. He wanted to learn from them. I agree with him."

Errrr, what..?

"…Why?" Kenshin stuttered, utterly stunned.

"The fact is that our country is hopelessly outgunned compared to the foreign powers: America, Prussia, Britain... and many other European countries. They have wealth and power to absolutely crush us as we are. If they wished, they could attack now and subjugate us."

...Oh. I didn't know that.

Kenshin gaped. "But why haven't they, then?

"They are interested in us. Our culture is just as strange to them as theirs is for us. We are far from them, separated by months of sea travel. Also, there are many interested parties." Katsura explained, noting how dazed Kenshin was becoming by his explanation.

The samurai smiled, before continuing more plainly. "Think of it like Choshuu competing with Satsuma and other influential provinces about a domain up in the north. The target is too far away for conquest to be a practical option. And even if we managed to win the war for it, the distance would be too great to maintain control. Especially when there are so many interested parties. What this all comes down to, is that we are essentially not worth the trouble for the foreigners. What they want from us, they can get more easily and a lot more cheaply by trade."

That makes sense... sort of.

"So the reason why the foreigners forced the Shogunate into those one-sided agreements is because... it's an easy way for them to get what they want?

"Yes. And because the Shogunate is powerless to stop them, they beg and try to appease the foreigners."

Kenshin stared in disbelief. That.. that sounds exactly like what Miya's father, Kouta-san, tried to do when those two samurai wanted to burn his house. It looked so wrong to see him beg... it was like...

"If the foreigners are so strong, how could they respect us and treat us as equals if we don't stand up to them?"

"They don't." Katsura-san said frankly. "And while I may admire the foreigners for their advances, it doesn't mean I approve of what they are doing here. I think that if we learn their technology, economy, military advances... all the qualities that make them strong, we could use the best of those to strengthen Japan in turn. Then, we can stand against them with pride and deal with them on our own terms."

So right now... the country is weak? But if we just could learn and get stronger... yes.

Kenshin nodded. "I think I understand. But why doesn't the Shogunate see this? If they could just be told -"

"They have been told, many times over. But the Shogun is young and ignorant, letting his advisors make the decisions for the country. They make decision just for their own benefit, not ruling for the betterment of us all. Even now, there is a political battle going on among the Imperial court and Shogun's bakufu."

It sounded stupid, if Kenshin was entirely honest. Especially if the foreigners were as dangerous as Katsura-san had told him. "So instead of fighting together against the foreigners, the government fights against itself?

"That is a very simple way of putting it, but yes, basically. It's the very reason why we Ishin Shishi are working to overthrow the Shogunate and install the Emperor to rule once more. We will need strong and unified leadership to lead us into the new era."

After those words, they both fell into thoughtful silence.

It wasn't like there was much Kenshin could add to that. But while he could follow Katsura-san's reasoning and logic somewhat, he couldn't help but to notice that Katsura-san was always speaking of the betterment of the country.

What would all of this mean to the common people?

Kenshin glanced at the samurai riding beside him and finally asked the one question that kept coming to his mind. "Katsura-san... what will the new world be like?"

The leader of Choshuu's Ishin Shishi looked at him and smiled softly. "In the future, you mean? When this conflict is behind us?"

Kenshin nodded, tilting his head in silent encouragement.

Katsura-san frowned, taking a moment to consider his words... before speaking wistfully. "It will be a world where we will have modern technologies and ways of governing, where every talent is used regardless of hereditary right. Where burdens and benefits are shared together. Where education and wealth aren't reserved for a select few, but where the people can live freely and happily. That's the kind of world I would like to live in."

Quick as a whiplash, Kenshin turned to look at Katsura-san, staring at him with wide eyes. That sounds like...

The leader of the Choshuu Ishin Shishi was older, wealthy and a true samurai. A leader and a dangerous man with two faces... still, despite all that, Kenshin suddenly realized: he is like me.

Katsura-san wants the exact same things I want for the people.

Master had called Kenshin a "naive idealist" when he had brought up similar hopes during their discussions. But while Katsura-san wasn't naive — no, the older man was anything but naive — he was an idealist, too.

During those few hours with Taro-kun in Hagi, Kenshin had met a young man fighting for the same cause as him. They had had many similarities on the surface, but where it mattered... they had been worlds apart. But with Katsura-san, Kenshin couldn't help but to think...

Here is a man, a leader, who feels the same way I do.

And at that moment, Kenshin decided: if I can help this man reach the goal we both want, whatever it takes... I will do it.


AN: I have always tried to figure out just why Kenshin sacrificed so much for Katsura. Why he never questioned the man… what made their bond so strong. Here is my explanation for it. However, this is merely a simplified summary of Japan's 1860' era politics. I'm trying to summarize the many relevant aspects so that our dear, sweet, naïve Kenshin can understand them.

Also, be warned: now begins Kenshin's five years in hell.

Special thanks to Animaniacal-laughter for checking my grammar.