Warnings: violence, murder and a description of a panic attack


Chapter 21. Wolves on doorstep

So Kenshin reacted positively to the girl. That's good. One of the very few good things I have heard all week. Katsura sighed and folded the envelope shut, slipping it into his sleeve.

"Let's head to the inn," he murmured softly to Katagai. "There is one more matter I need to attend to tonight."

It was very late; the meeting had run far longer than expected. Everybody was on the edge. First Furutaka's capture, then the discrete hunt for a leak, and now Miyabe was refusing to see reason. Katsura was almost ready to cut ties with him, but if he did… who knew what that radical old codger would decide to do?

No, with those worries plaguing him, the developments with Kenshin and that girl felt like a slight ray of hope, something that just might be enough to make a difference. If it was handled right, that is.

The isolation and stress Kenshin had to endure were enough to drive an adult to insanity. For a boy so young… Katsura shook his head, well aware of why Iizuka was so on edge. There had been other hitokiri, and not a few of them had been struck down by their own faction for good reason.

It was a terrible job that quickly ate up the men who did it – few could handle it longer than a couple months. Inevitably they would meet their match in battle, or they would lose their purpose. A killer who couldn't be trusted was a knife to his handler's throat, always. No matter their intentions, they always knew too much. And if an assassin couldn't be trusted, the only place for him was a nameless grave.

It was too bad that Iizuka and the men at the inn hadn't managed to welcome Kenshin into their ranks. If they had, maybe this whole dilemma could have been avoided.

Yet, as it stood, Katsura was now forced to rely on that girl, that Yukishiro Tomoe.

Iizuka had been very thorough in checking her background, but he had found surprisingly little. She was undoubtedly from a higher ranked samurai family from the Kanto region. However, her name hadn't been in any of the clan registries. It could mean two things: either she had lied about it… or her name had been wiped from the records.

Katagai had immediately jumped to conclusions, thinking that she was a spy and recommending that she be disposed of at the soonest opportunity. But then again, it was the bodyguard's job to be overly suspicious.

Katsura couldn't allow suspicion to cloud his judgement, not when so much was at stake. After all, the girl didn't act like a spy. She hadn't made contact with anyone outside of the inn, not even when given ample opportunity to do so. No, she had settled into her new job and performed it very well. Even Okami-san had nothing bad to say about her.

Besides, wasn't it only logical for a girl with a tarnished reputation to make up a new name and try to start again?

A lost girl, a stray cat looking for a home was far better than a girl of honest name, at least for this purpose. She had no ties, no one to miss her… and she was a lovely, lonely young lady.

Katsura paused to listen outside the girl's door, before asking softly, "May I enter?"

"Come in."

She had a very nice voice. A cultured Kanto accent, like Iizuka had mentioned. Katsura stepped inside, sliding the door shut after him. "It's late. I'm sorry to disturb you."

"If you are looking for Himura-san, he is out for the night," she replied steadily, wariness in her gaze as she set down the shawl she had been embroidering.

Katsura inclined his head. "I know. I am the one who gives him his orders. I know all of his movements."

The girl's eyes widened in recognition.

"Please," Katsura smiled, "would you like to join me for tea?"

She followed him downstairs in tense silence, to the dining room where Okami-san brought them tea. The girl took it upon herself to pour it for them, but while she didn't go through the motions of a proper tea ceremony, her movement had elegance and refinement – a routine that could only be established in a well-to-do household.

Katsura studied her subtly as he led her through the normal conversation topics: how her stay had been, what she thought about her work, was there any trouble she needed help with. The easy questions worked wonders to calm her down, enough that she didn't tense up when he asked, "And how has your stay been with Himura-kun?"

"He has been very respectful."

"I don't doubt that." Katsura scoffed, not to criticize, but to express his wry amusement. "He is truly a polite and well-mannered young man. Exceptionally so, for a killer."

She gasped softly, then sipped her tea to cover her surprise.

She had remarkable composure, Katsura noted with growing respect. However, she was still young and she had given him enough to work with – she knew about Kenshin's work.

Of course, Katsura had suspected it to be so, especially after hearing Iizuka's comment about how Kenshin's sword had been duller, that he had displayed hesitation in his work once again.

Yes, here is the source of it.

The girl's eyes narrowed and her tone gained an edge as she asked a question of her own, "How could you make him your killer? He is just a boy. He can't even be of age yet…"

Katsura nearly smiled. Ah, I should have known.

It was always youth, childhood cut short that women took offence to.

Then again, hadn't he and Takasugi both felt uneasy at the prospect of using one so young? But there had been valid reasons, then and now. The desperate need for Kenshin's skills hadn't disappeared and that was all there was to it. But how could he make her see it?

A willful girl like her, she would just make Kenshin hesitate again and that was unacceptable. No, in order for her to be useful, she needed to understand.

"Because he believes the same as I do, that we are doing this to build a new era where everyone can live in peace," Katsura said gently and glanced down at his tea, taking a slow, calculated sip. "These killings and assassinations, they are madness… but it must be done."

"Madness?" Her eyes were wary, but her head tilted to the side just a shade, an unconscious display of curiosity.

"When I was young, Takasugi and I and many of our friends studied under Yoshida Shoin. He was executed by the Bakufu." Katsura explained, keeping his voice gentle. "He once said that we are destroying an era of Tokugawa rule that drove men to madness. If we are to build a new age, we must now go mad ourselves."

Her uncertainty and fear were obvious in the tense lines of her posture, how carefully blank she had schooled her beautiful face. Yet, for all that she could guard her body, she couldn't guard her eyes. No, she knew about hate and rage, the desire for justice he was speaking about.

Katsura laid down his tea cup, drained empty. "We need to go mad enough to not turn away from our extreme justice. That is the driving force of the Choshuu faction. Himura is the vanguard of our mad justice and is fulfilling the harshest of roles."

The second those last words left his lips, the thread of understanding, the commonality he had forged with her was shattered.

She shied back, whispering almost harshly, "And so? You are telling me this because you want me to fulfill a role?"

Oh..? That's what she objects to? Katsura raised his brow slightly. What a telling response. She had been used before for another's bidding.

Hmm, should I press forward or…

No, it's enough for now.

He had planted the seeds. It wouldn't do to press too hard now, or she could rebuff his words just because of a former injury.

This girl… she had a very strong sense of justice. She was no weak, simpering ingenue, and Katsura liked that, truly. A weaker girl would never survive the task he had set out for her.

"I am not telling you to do anything. I just want you to understand what we are doing here." Katsura said evenly, giving her a respectful nod before taking his sword and leaving.

Now, only time would tell if anything would come of this gambit.

If the girl became what they needed her to be... if Kenshin could hold on for a little longer, then perhaps something could be arranged for him.

Tempers were nearing at a boiling point in the Capital. Something would break, and soon. Never before had the Bakufu been so disorganized, so vulnerable for outside influence. If they could press just a little more, they had a real chance at gaining the leverage they needed in the court.

If only I could keep Miyabe in line…


The night's job, taking out a merchant who had been supplying Western weapons to a government procurer, had been quite far out of town. It had been an unexpected relief, truly. These days, the city was practically crawling with Bakufu men, the policing forces' patrols and the provincial samurai both on high alert.

Now, Kenshin and Iizuka-san were heading back to Kyoto on a road that passed through a nice, quiet bamboo grove. Or, it would have been quiet if not for Iizuka's nervous commentary. "I swear I heard that bodyguard shoot you with a riffle. Yet, you say you are fine. Fine? I have seen the wounds those damned weapons cause, so how the hell could you be alright?"

"I dodged." Kenshin murmured distractedly. He could have sworn there had been something moving at the edge of his perception…

Yes, there they are. A group of ki presences, moving towards us?

He raised his hand, signaling for Iizuka-san to be silent, and shooed him into the trees just to be safe. Most likely those were their own men. After all, this was a small side road and there was no reason for anyone to use it at this time of night.

At a distance, he saw white mountain stripes flashing in the moonlight.

Damn it.

"There they are!"

"Stop!"

"We are the Shinsengumi! Surrender in the name of the Shogun!

Kenshin cursed and started to run, hoping to lose them. The last thing he wanted was to kill anyone he didn't need to. Ahead of him, the road divided in two, one leading downhill, down to the town… and other up the mountain slope, up a set of paved stairs leading to a shrine the Ishin Shishi had used before.

The men chasing him were getting too close for comfort.

"He is not alone!

Oh for fuck's sake! Kenshin huffed. A bit higher up on the stairs, Iizuka-san was waiting for him. Undoubtedly he had hoped to regroup there.

They saw him... damn, I have no choice but to fight, do I?

Kenshin drew breath, focused… and invited Kenta to his side. It flowed through the wall and the world slowed to a halt.

The first target went down without even having time to block, from a clean strike to the shoulder. A well-timed quickdraw took care of the next two in one motion, but the fourth had been slower to run, so he had enough time to block.

It didn't matter.

Pushing his ki down his sword, Kenshin enhanced the strike and cut through the steel like it wasn't even there.

The last one stared at him with eyes flown wide open, his mouth gaping to form a—

Kenshin dashed, jumping and coming down with a perfect Ryutsuisen, cutting through his head just in time to silence him.

Then there were no sounds but his heavy breathing, the men's blood and guts spreading silently down the stairs.

It was so filthy. They hadn't needed to die...

"Are you alright, Himura?"

Kenshin took a deep breath and exhaled, slowly, carefully. Then he nodded, and flicked his wrist, shaking most of the blood from his sword before sheathing it.

"We can't stay here. There may be more," Iizuka-san said shakily, before running down the stairs.

Without another word, Kenshin followed.

Those five… they had come out of nowhere. The Shinsengumi shouldn't patrol this far out of town and even if they did, what reason would they have to watch a small road like this one? They were a policing force! It was their job to guard the common people, not chase after…

"It was an ambush, wasn't it?"

Iizuka-san glanced at him, not even slowing down. "It was. They knew that we were there. I will take the news to Katsura-san immediately. We definitely have a traitor among us."

At the edge of the town, Iizuka-san ditched him, choosing to go report to Katsura-san directly. Just to be safe, Kenshin offered to escort him. After all, the examiner had no way of defending himself against another ambush like that. However, Iizuka-san looked at him like he was an idiot and said, "It's you they want, not me."

Kenshin was left standing there, watching his departing back… the panic and danger feeling realer than ever.

The sun was rising and the merchants were setting up at the marketplace as he headed back home, trying desperately not to hurry.

Nothing stood out like a person in a hurry.

Yet, it was difficult. He felt absolutely filthy. The job had been bad enough, but now there were additional deaths on his conscience just because… Kenshin closed his eyes, and drew breath. No, he couldn't think that. It had been an ambush, the Shinsengumi had known about them and had hunted them down. Even if he had tried to lead them on a wild goose chase in the forest, they could have stumbled across Iizuka-san.

Iizuka-san was no fighter and worse, if the Shinsengumi had captured him, all would have been lost. The sleazy weasel of a man simply knew too much.

The inn was already waking up when Kenshin arrived, exhausted and tense as a bowstring drawn to the breaking point. Thankfully his clothes didn't have any telling marks of the night's disaster. No, these days he was good enough to kill them and avoid the blood-spatter, even when he couldn't strike with battoujutsu. After all, with Kenta's help, he could see incoming strikes in time, dodge around them, and choose his own, striking in such a way that his targets died as quickly as possible.

The hand-washing routine took forever, but still… when he was done and got to his room, he couldn't help feeling off-balance and miserable when he saw that it was empty.

Of course Tomoe had already risen for work. Kenshin knew that perfectly well. There was no reason for him to be disappointed, and yet… he had found it easier to calm down and fall asleep, soothed by her steady breathing and the calmness of her ki, that quiet spot in the sea.

He had slept better these past few days than he had in months, just because of her.

And now, she wasn't there.

Kenshin sighed morosely and settled to sit next to the window, at his usual spot. He set his katana to lean against his shoulder, his wakizashi by his side as per routine.

Do you intend to keep killing like this?

If I had had a sword… would you have?

The questions Tomoe had asked him earlier rose to his mind like they always did, whenever he had a moment to think. And yet, no matter how hard he thought about it, he still hadn't managed to come up with an answer that didn't feel like an excuse, a feeble lie not worth stating.

…I just don't know how to answer her.

Kenshin sighed, drawing his arms around himself, huddling against the wall. The terrible thoughts continued to plague him, stirring up restless feelings, and yet, he needed to sleep. He knew that all too well. He couldn't go without sleeping, not when Kyoto was getting so dangerous and the Ishin Shishi needed him… and yet, she wasn't here.

But what else could he do?

Morosely, he patted his sleeve, fiddling with the familiar clunky form of Kasumi's top. At a distance, he heard the men stirring, getting ready for breakfast. Without a second thought, the top found its way into his hands and he tied the yarn around the knob, setting it spinning on the floor. As always, there was something calming in watching it spin, seeing the old faded colors merge together.

"Live for me" Kasumi had insisted, even when the bandit's sword had pierced her throat and she was left to die, choking on her own blood, like a worthless piece of trash. In the world of the Shogun, under the laws of the Bakufu… a wonderful woman like her had been sold into slavery, reduced to nothing more than a thing because of money.

Little Miya had suffered too. Her house had been burned down, everything she had had been taken to repay a debt. And just because she had been brave enough to stand up and protest against the injustice of it, her life had been demanded to apologize for the insult.

It was wrong.

The top spun steadily, before falling over. He set it spinning again.

There was truth in Tomoe's words, in her insistence that killing was wrong. But the Shogun's world was wrong, too. And if no one was willing to stand up against injustice, how could anything ever change?

If he could help to bring about that change by staining his hands with blood, no matter how painful and difficult it was… then it was worth it.

Yes, that's why I fight.

I can't ever forget that.

Kenshin closed his eyes and his exhaustion finally took over.


There was someone close to him, close enough to reach to him…

Ambush!

Kenshin's eyes snapped open and he rose, drawing his sword to the throat of a target, ready to—

That pale and delicate throat, the scent of white plum blossoms… Kenshin's eyes widened and finally he registered the naked steel at her jugular. Just a hair's breadth further and it would cut through—

No!

Get away!

He pushed her forcefully, to get her as far as he could from the danger.

I almost – no, no, no… Kenshin's heart was beating rabbit-fast as he gulped for air. I, I… I almost cut… If it had been just a bit, just a little bit further... no, no, no…

Would you have…? Would you? Her voice asked him, that question, that terrible question repeating inside his head in an endless loop. He couldn't see or hear or remember anything else but her soft voice and dark eyes as she asked that question time and time again. Would you have…? Would you have...? Do you intend to keep killing like this? Would you? If I had a sword… would you have?

No, no, no… Kenshin squeezed his eyes shut and tried to keep breathing. In and out, in and out, just keep breathing, idiot, and stop thinking!

Then something stroked him gently, the petting comfort feeling, but it wasn't Kenta? Kenshin gasped wildly and looked up, only to see her there, looking at him, her dark eyes wide with fright.

She is scared? Oh god, oh god… I, I… What did I do, what did I do…

It took forever for him to get enough control to still his frantic shaking, to gather his nerves just enough to find words again. Yet, even then the sheer shame of it was almost overpowering.

"I'm sorry," Kenshin whispered, staring blankly at the floor. "I bragged that I would never kill a civilian and now look at me. If you had come any closer… I would have…"

The cloth rustled near him and he swallowed, stealing a glance at her.

She was offering him a shawl, the very same one he had seen her embroidering at night.

But, but… why?

Yet, she was looking at him seriously, her eyes softening just a shade. Her ki wasn't quite as cold, either. Utterly perplexed, Kenshin leaned back on his haunches and accepted the offering, stroking the soft fabric.

"Let me stay here for a while," she whispered softly, almost too quiet to hear. "You need a sheath to hold back your madness."

A sheath?

Madness?

She is… offering to stay with me? Kenshin blinked, his mouth falling open. He had been so alone, for so long… just like her, and now she was saying she wanted to be with him?

He gripped the cloth in his hands, inhaling raggedly. To not be alone, the very thought felt so enormous that there were no words to describe it. To have someone with him, so that neither of them would have to be alone in the crowd… oh god, how wonderful it sounded.

He stared at his hands, trying not to cry.

Yet, her earlier question, the one that had been haunting his thoughts and nightmares… Kenshin swallowed, once, twice, before saying quietly, "I have thought about my answer, whether I would have killed you, if you had had a sword. The answer is no. I wouldn't kill you. Whatever happened, I could never do that to you. Not to you. Never."

Silence landed between them.

It took a while before Kenshin dared a shy look up between his lashes, but when he did… he saw a faint blush on her cheeks.

…She is so beautiful.

The sight made his heart skip a beat, forcing him to look aside awkwardly as he climbed to his feet. As he helped her up, too, he was beginning to realize just how much she had offered him, and what it could mean for both of them.

It wasn't just him that wouldn't be alone.

This was for them both. Neither of them needed to be alone anymore, and even more than that, now they could have confidant in each other.


After that, they took to spending more time together.

When she finished her work, Tomoe would retire to their room, and instead of avoiding her, he would sit with her. They didn't talk, not really. Neither of them were all that good at it, but just spending time in each other's presence felt wonderful. With just the two of them, no one would stare at them or make mean-spirited comments. No, in those moments they were just two people sharing each other's company – nothing more, nothing less.

And the next day, when Kenshin went to the backyard to do his katas, she followed him there as well.

It was bit strange, because in general he disliked having an audience. It always felt awkward and uncomfortable when someone saw his swordsmanship and wondered at the skill and precision that had been instilled in his movements since early childhood. Yet, somehow, it was different with her. She watched him carefully, as he went through the meditative repetitions, until finally she took out her book and started reading.

Kenshin finished his training about an hour later, feeling as close to calm and relaxed as he could.

She closed her book and tucked it in between her kimono folds. "It's like watching a dance with swords."

Instantly, heat rose to his cheeks and Kenshin looked aside. All of a sudden there were butterflies in his stomach and his heart was still beating fast, not easing down as it should have after his cooling exercises.

No one had ever said anything kind about his swordsmanship. The katas and the practice had always been for a purpose, to learn how to kill… or they should have been. At least, Master had been adamant about that. But for Kenshin, it was so much more than that – he loved the art of the sword.

He had always loved it.

Sure, it had been a way to get stronger and to protect people, but the reason why he had kept practicing for hours, even when it wasn't even remotely necessary, was because he liked doing the katas. They were calming and it was like, when he held a sword, he didn't need to be his ugly, weird and scrawny self anymore. He could just be, just do something he enjoyed and take pride in.

Thankfully, Tomoe didn't comment on his blush, simply turning around and returning to their room.

And it is our room now, isn't it?

The thought left Kenshin feeling all funny inside, the good sort of funny – light and almost happy. After all, they lived there together and she had agreed to be with him and wasn't it just wonderful?

Yet, the matter of his job still lay between them.

Understandably, Tomoe didn't care for it at all. So whenever he got a black envelope, she would turn her head and pointedly ignore him. But afterwards, during the night, she would always wait for him, not saying a thing… merely being there for him, calm and comforting as she always was, no matter how long it took him to fall asleep.

Maybe, that's why her presence had ceased to bother him to the point that he could catnap when she was there?

Iizuka-san walked in on them once, and seeing him sleeping in Tomoe's presence, the man became far too curious for his own good.

Kenshin wasn't quite sure why it was such a big deal.

After all, he had slept without problems in other people's presences before. Well, admittedly it had been a while… err, actually, he hadn't managed a single proper night's sleep since he had left the mountain. So why could he sleep now, when he knew Tomoe was there, awake and so very close to him?

The realization hit him like a lightning bolt.

I trust her.

It was as simple as that.

Kenshin knew with bone deep certainty that she wasn't a threat. No, her calmness, her ki… she was his safe spot. As long as she was there, the noises of men around them, their flickering, weak ki didn't matter, not enough to keep him alert and waiting for attack.

The realization made him think of her in an entirely different manner.

She didn't seem quite as cold anymore, did she? Lately when she was with him, sometimes her ki would even feel slightly warm, like she, too, felt good. It seemed like in her eyes, he wasn't that bad, no matter how stained and broken he was.

Not that she would smile or outwardly show it in anyway, of course. She was just as reserved as she had always been, but sometimes her eyes… it felt like they would soften, just a bit.

A few days later, on the evening of the fift day of the sixth month, she managed to surprise him once again. It was the Gion festival, the day of a grand parade within the Capital's month long summer festival and practically everyone in the inn had the night off.

The city was packed full of people for the celebrations and the situation was deemed too hot for jobs. Not to mention, there seemed to be problems among the Ishin Shishi leadership that were keeping Katsura-san busy.

Kenshin wasn't entirely sure what to do with all his free time. The festival had made the city more crowded and noisier than ever before. To be honest, he was hoping to spend a quiet night at the inn with Tomoe, now that most of the people had left for the festival.

Besides, Tomoe should be getting off work soon, shouldn't she?

She was sweeping the floors on the abandoned second floor when he found her. However, instead of accepting his hesitant offer for them to get something to eat, she paused to look at him consideringly, before saying "Would you like to go out with me this evening?"

...Uh, what? Kenshin's eyes widened in confusion.

She wants to go out there...with me? Why?

"It's the festival tonight," Tomoe explained softly. "It might be nice to have a relaxing night in the city… but it's not relaxing to be a woman alone in a city full of men."

Oh... Kenshin paused, mollified by her words. But, but… the thing was that there were a lot of people out there and they were loud, loud enough to be heard even here. To go out there, it was… errr…

She tilted her head, looking at him kindly, waiting.

Kenshin took a deep breath, considering. Would it be that horrible?

Sure, it would be crowded out there, but none of those people would have any reason to stare at them with disdain or fear, not when there were actors and the festival train and everything. And it might be nice to go out there, to see things… whatever the festival had to offer, they could enjoy it together.

So yes, it could be nice.

Nodding slightly, Kenshin exhaled and met her gaze. "Yes, let's go."

"Yes." She agreed quietly, her eyes becoming just a shade softer.

Like Kenshin had feared, the festival had drawn a huge crowd of people to the streets to celebrate, and everyone seemed to be wearing their best and brightest clothing. For commoners, the merchants and artisans, this seemed to be a chance to display their wealth. Young women consciously wore their most beautiful and colorful long-sleeved furisodes, hiding their smiles behind their fans. The older women's choices were more reserved, but just as fine. Likewise, the men wore their finery with pride.

In truth, it left Kenshin feeling a bit shabby in comparison. The everyday clothes Taro-kun had chosen for him in Hagi had served him well this past year. Sure, the fabric was worn with use and there had been a few accidents along the way… but he had just hemmed the edges and patched the worst of the tears on his own.

Tomoe seemed to have similar problems, now that he considered it. Her clothing had been very fine once, but now they were comfortably worn and frayed in places. Not that it was her fault in any way; she didn't have other options and she didn't have enough savings to consider buying replacements.

Kenshin's case wasn't quite the same. The truth was that he simply wasn't used to actually having money to spare. All his life, he had worn his clothing to the breaking point, and as long as he stayed warm and covered, it was all fine, wasn't it?

But now, seeing all these people in their finery, it made him wonder… what would it be like, to be one of them? To dress to impress his company, just like the other young men enjoying the festival?

Not that he could, no matter if he wanted to. He was too ugly and strange, and there was his duty… and Tomoe, she wasn't quite like the other girls, either.

Kenshin sighed, letting his hand rest on his sword for comfort. Yet, when there were so many people all around him, most of the men carrying swords just like him… it was difficult. With the situation as it was, the Capital was dangerously unstable and a single man's stupidity within a crowd could lead to catastrophe.

They circled the various vendors, food stalls, and games in silence.

Tomoe seemed to take it all very calmly, simply observing the sights and taking it all in stride. Kenshin, though, was beginning to feel really uncomfortable. He would have preferred to watch the festival from the sidelines. Not from the very center of it, forced to endure people pushing against them, trying to pass them on the way to see whatever they were interested in.

Without even noticing it, Kenshin had started to sweat, his breath had grown harsher. How long did they have to stay here? Surely she had already seen whatever she wanted to see?

Tomoe glanced at him, like she had done throughout the evening, and frowned, before grabbing his sleeve without warning and starting to lead him through the crowd. She didn't even try to talk, to offer any explanations over the noise of the crowd.

It was only when they reached the edge of the street that she let go of his hand. For some reason, Kenshin couldn't help feeling disappointed by it. He hadn't ever seen her act so forcefully… and besides, it had been nice to be led.

Still too overwhelmed for words, Kenshin shot her a smile in thanks.

Her eyes widened, before softening a shade. She nodded, just once, but it was enough. She looked around and motioned to a bar, a bit further down a side-street, "Let's go have a drink."

The chance to sit down in a quiet place seemed like a godsend and Kenshin nodded gratefully.

The establishment she had chosen was one of the better bars, certainly a step up from the shabby jaunts he had frequented before – at least, judging by the location and clientele. Yet, even on a night like this, there were a few empty tables. Perhaps all the people were out enjoying the festival stalls?

They settled at a table near the window. It was a good spot, making it easy to observe what was happening around them, yet quiet enough that they weren't disturbed.

However, while Kenshin didn't exactly mind drinking sake, what was he supposed to do now that she was here with him? Usually he just ordered whatever was cheapest and drunk it as quickly as he could, to get the numbness he sought.

The barman quickly brought out their drinks. His was warmed as was customary, but she had ordered hers chilled.

It was a strange choice, quite a bit fancier than his. After all, ice was expensive in the middle of summer.

Yet, would it affect the taste?

Kenshin frowned, almost on the verge of ordering another bottle for himself just out of sheer curiosity. However, he already had perfectly good sake in front of him and he didn't have that much money saved, not enough to waste it on a whim.

Sighing, he took the cup she had poured for him, readying himself for an unpleasant ordeal. After all, though everything he ate or drank tasted like blood, the first few cups of sake had always been the worst. But this time, a rich, deep, even a little sweet aroma flooded onto his tongue.

What..? But why would it… Kenshin gaped, staring at his saucer.

Tomoe noticed his confusion. "What is is?"

"I, ah…" Kenshin paused, trying to find words for his surprise. "It's been a long time. The sake tastes good to me."

"It's because of the festival," she suggested, and offered to pour him more.

Mutely, Kenshin accepted and sipped it again. The aromas were strong, yet not unpleasant in the least. Why? He doubted it was because of the festival, given how little he had cared for the experience, but perhaps… it could be because of her, because he was not alone.

"I'm different." Tomoe frowned at her saucer, musing, "Lately I haven't been able to enjoy sake as much as I used to."

Oh… Kenshin hesitated. If there was truth in Master's words about sake, then she too had something sick in her, pain or worry that had turned her mood to melancholy. However, if killing left his sake tasting like blood, would it help to know what her drink tasted like?

Perhaps, the knowledge could give him a clue about how to help her? Kenshin hesitated, "It doesn't taste good to you?"

"No." Tomoe glanced at him. "I feel like I don't want to depend on it anymore."

Kenshin looked aside awkwardly, feeling slightly foolish for his assumption.

Silence fell between them, but unlike usual, it wasn't comfortable. This was far from the calm silence where neither of them felt like talking. Instead, the feeling was almost oppressive, a dullness he should try to interrupt by saying something smart and witty to uplift her mood.

But what could he say? What topic was safe enough to broach?

The past?

But given what he knew, her past must have been a painful one, and his… why would she even care what he had done before he had ended up here?

Should he try to talk about his work? About the Ishin Shishi? That was an even worse idea. She had made it blatantly clear how little she liked his work. How about swordsmanship? But that couldn't hold any interest to fine lady like her. About his daily routine at the inn?

But was there anything worthy of conversation in that? Usually all he did was avoid people and sleep!

"When I look at your scar…" Her calm voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "I wonder what the men see in their final moments."

Kenshin swallowed dryly, suddenly wishing he had chosen the topic first. Any of his terrible ideas would have been better than the topic of his damn scar! Yet, he couldn't exactly ignore her words either.

If he was perfectly honest with himself, Kenshin had tried his best to forget the angry red line on his cheek and the fight where he had gotten it. Not because of the scar itself, but because that night had been one of his greatest failures. From start to end, he had screwed up, and because of him, that young Mimawarigumi guard had suffered and died a slow, painful death, gurgling for air while his guts had sprawled out of his gaping side.

Severing his neck had been the only thing Kenshin had been able to do for him afterwards, but even that hadn't changed a thing. Now that shame was his alone to carry, as no one else even remembered him. Kenshin sighed mournfully, before lifting his eyes to meet hers.

She looked sad and miserable.

"You say you kill to make others happy…but I don't think it makes you happy."

"It doesn't." Kenshin answered. "I hate it… I hate that it's necessary." However, before he could continue, he noticed a remarkably familiar flicker of ki approaching them with speed. It felt weak and wavering…

Oh, but why would he...

Then Iizuka-san burst into the bar and shouted at them, "Get out of here immediately!"

"What's wrong?" Kenshin grabbed his sword in alarm. Anything that got Iizuka-san so harried would be bad news.

"Come with me, I will tell you on the way!"

Then there was no time to think. Kenshin grabbed Tomoe's hand and rushed to follow Iizuka-san through the crowd.

"Katsura-san is in grave danger." Iizuka-san explain in a hurried whisper, not slowing down for even a moment. "The Shinsengumi found out about the meeting with Miyabe and Toshimaru. I need to rally the men and get there right away!"

"Where is it being held?" Kenshin demanded. After all, the Ishin Shishi leaders' meeting had changed locations multiple times after Furutaka's capture, and now no one but the higher ups knew in which Ishin Shishi safe-house it was being held.

"Sanjo Kawaramachi, at the Ikeda-ya!" Iizuka-san shouted, giving a pointed look to the struggling Tomoe on Kenshin's arm, before he took off running.

The hint was obvious.

"You should head back to the inn," Kenshin said seriously. "I need to go. If Katsura-san is in danger, everything could fail tonight."

However, Tomoe insisted firmly, "I will follow you."

It was the worst possible idea she could have, but he didn't have time to argue. Not when Katsura-san was in trouble. Kenshin grabbed her hand and ran.

While he would have been far faster on his own, there was no way he could leave her alone. Besides, Kawaramachi was not that far from Gion, only about a mile or so.

She kept pace with him admirably, and as they got closer to the meeting spot, Kenshin slowed down to a walk, trying to get a good read on the ki presences nearby.

The Ikeda-ya should be close by now… Kenshin frowned, cutting through a smaller, darker side alley. Just around the corner, a group of hurried presences were nearing them. At his side, Tomoe was a white shadow, silent and grim. Yet, it wasn't safe. She really should hide, or run – she should be anywhere but here.

"There are people ahead." Kenshin whispered. "You really should turn back now, it's dangerous."

She tightened her grip on his hand and her eyes narrowed. Her usually soft and demure voice gained a steely edge of determination, as she said, "I want to see. I want to see your work. I want to see it with my own eyes."

"Stop, whoever you are!" a shout rang out. "Stop in the name of the Shinsengumi!"

Damn it, damn it all to hell. Kenshin cursed silently, his hand ready at his sword as he turned around to see a group of six men running towards them, their damn mountain-striped haori flashing in the moonlight.

Then it was too late to run away.

"There he is!"

"That must be the assassin!"

Oh god, they know about me? They have been looking for me? Kenshin gaped in sheer panic for a second. Then, reason won out over fear and he drew his sword, ready to protect the mulishly stubborn, innocent girl behind him.

The first target charged, his sword held high just like most of the Shinsengumi were prone to. Kenshin dodged under it and slashed the man's stomach. But, his strike didn't... cut?

Chain vests! Kenshin growled, "You are in my way, back down!"

The six of them were effectively blocking the street. There was no way he could avoid killing these men, not when Tomoe was right behind him and they posed a tangible threat to her.

"I am Shigesuke Heima, trained in Hokushin Ittou-ryu!" the first one shouted proudly, charging at him again.

"I don't care!" Kenshin snarled, and concentrated, letting Kenta to flow to his side. The world slowed to a halt, the group of six samurai charging at him becoming nothing but obstacles in his way.

Those damn chain vest wouldn't protect them, not with Kenta at his side. But concentrating that much ki to his blade would slow him down. No, in a tight place like this it was far more effective to use piercing strikes, or to attack a vulnerable, unprotected spot: the throat.

Kenshin sprinted, blurring into motion.

The first man was fast enough to block, which in that narrow alley, made the man behind him the more vulnerable one. Kenshin dodged around the first one's attack and slashed open the second's throat. The third one was too slow: he died from a stab to the back. The fourth had enough time to attempt a strike of his own, to no avail – Kenshin parried his feeble attack and slashed his throat, too.

The fifth was wide open, too shocked to react. He died from a stab to the heart, the easiest death of them all.

The last one, the one he had passed over, screamed with rage then charged at his back. It was too bad that his shout destroyed his chances. The man dropped to the ground, still twitching as his heart pumped his lifeblood out of the gaping wound in his throat.

Then there was only silence.

Kenshin took a deep breath, before letting go of Kenta. The cool numbness faded along with the screams, and the smell of blood flooded his nostrils, the shame and disgust brought by the killing storming inside him.

Footsteps echoed behind him. It was Tomoe. She was walking towards him calmly, her expression still like a mask, her ki freezing cold as she stepped over the six dead Shinsengumi at her feet.

Kenshin looked away, gritting his teeth. He knew he should have offered words of comfort to her, tried to explain it in some way… but he didn't have time. These Shinsegumi had known about him, so they had found out about the meeting for sure and that meant Katsura-san could already be in their hands.

Sparing her an apologetic glance, Kenshin rushed forward, reaching the main street and stalking in the shadows as close to the Ikeda-ya as he dared. The inn was all but swarming with blue haori coats, the mountain stripes flashing boldly in the lantern light as men came to report to the captain in the yard.

Kenshin concentrated, trying to gather his ki to listen in on their conversation… only to notice feminine footsteps getting closer. Tomoe had followed him. Of course she had. Kenshin frowned at her, holding a finger in front of his mouth, signaling silence.

Then, he closed his eyes and drew a drop of ki to his ears.

Tomoe's deep steady breathing next to him, hurried footsteps, chain vests clattering and then, "Did you find Katsura?"

"I don't know."

"The assassin isn't here, though."

Kenshin sighed softly in relief, letting go of the hearing trick. If they hadn't found Katsura-san yet, then not all was lost. Should he still charge in there?

There were a lot of Shinsengumi in the yard. Judging by the flickering ki presences, there had to at least twenty or more men on the premises. More, they knew about him, they had clearly been hunting for him… and they were wearing those chain vests. Should he risk it?

Kenshin gripped his sword tightly. But if there is even the slightest possibility that Katsura-san is there, do I have a choice?

He was just about to lean past the corner for a look, when he felt a hand grip his arm tightly. He shot Tomoe a questioning glance.

She shook her head.

Frowning, Kenshin pursed his lips and then applied another droplet of ki to his ears.

"Saito-san! Katsura isn't here! Miyabe committed a suicide in the rear vestibule."

"I see. Good work everyone."

Kenshin let go of the ki on the spot and leaned his head against the wall, his feet feeling slightly shaky in relief. Thank god... if it was just Miyabe, then this was not the end.

Tomoe was looking at him, her eyes a bit softer.

Kenshin gave her a nod in thanks, a poor repayment of his gratitude. After all, if not for her, he would have gone out there for nothing.

Still, there was something strange out there. A ki presence that didn't feel right and Kenshin risked one more glance around the corner. The commander that the Shinsengumi were reporting to, that tall man who was as lean as a starved wolf… there was something wrong about him. His ki was frosty as ice, serious and uncompromising. A notably large presence too, defined and controlled unlike the rest of those flickers…

Uh oh..

Kenshin blinked slowly, utterly floored by the realization. That presence wasn't just a strange anomaly, it was trained.

And that meant, the man could most likely sense him too.

Shit!

There was no thought involved – it was a reflex Master had worked hard to instill in him – Kenshin closed his eyes and steadied his breathing, in and out, in and out.

I am not a threat. I am not here. I am nothing but one among others.

Slowly, painstakingly slowly, he tried to spread his ki, to make it so thin that it became nothing more than a shadow in the background.

There.

His presence was still there, able to be felt but just barely. Now, he simply seemed as harmful as a mouse or a girl who had never seen a weapon.

After all, like Master had said to him all those years ago, for those that can sense ki, large presences shone like shooting stars among the rest. However, empty spots that people gave way to were even easier to notice. No, when it came to ki, it was the small ones that were the easiest to overlook.

Even if that Shinsengumi captain was trained in ki and had caught Kenshin masking his, he would never be able to track him in a crowd. And conveniently, there happened to be a festival close by.

Kenshin smiled grimly and took Tomoe's hand.

Together, they sneaked back, sticking to the shadows, quiet as a pair of mice hiding from a wolf.


AN: There is historical incorrectness concerning dates in this and the following chapter. This is because, first and foremost, I am trying to stay faithful to the canon and unfortunately, like my betareader Animaniacal-laughter pointed out to me, occasionally canon and history don't exactly match.

However, for those who are curious about the history, Furutaka Shuntarou was captured by Shinsengumi on a raid to his store Masu'ya, in the early dawn of June 5th, 1864. (Furutaka had inherited it two years prior and operated it under the alias "Kièmon". It was his cover because officially Choshuu samurai had been banished from Kyoto). Anyways, Shinsengumi had been looking for Miyabe and ended up capturing Furutaka by chance. He was then tortured until Shinsengumi found out about the Ikedaya-ya's meeting.

At the evening of June 5th, Shinsengumi gathered their men and raided Ikeda-ya.

There was no "x number of days / weeks" time period between these events, not like the Ruroken manga suggests.


Betaed by Animaniacal-laughter in 11.03.2016.