A/N: First and foremost, no - I did not switch sides and no, I am by no means a Liz supporter. If you've read any of my other work you know by now how I feel about this chick, so you know it's coming. I know she's hard to stomach forefront in this, but it's actually necessary for this particular story, as the point of it is to show Jason sticking it out after the reveal (which he would no doubt have done if she hadn't lied), because we all know him to be a guilt-ridden character who tries to do the honorable thing for other people. He's a huge self-sacrificing individual, so I believe that's how he would've played it…but I also know that it wouldn't have lasted because he's in love with Sam, has always been in love with Sam, and will always be in love with Sam. They will always find each other, and this story will be no different - I can promise you that.
I'm really sorry it's been hard to read - thank you for sticking it out, but I understand if you can't.
Chapter 9
Jason turned his bike down the dirt road, slowing to a stop near the smaller pathway that led behind a thicket of trees. He'd ridden for miles out of town, at first going nowhere in particular - just out for a ride to clear his mind - when the direction he traveled started to look very familiar. Not recognizing anything in particular, but also knowing he'd ridden this way before, he allowed the curiosity to lead him until he got to this point. Looking around in wonder, he could see nothing that would bid him to stop at the spot, yet he knew that he'd arrived.
Alighting from the bike and removing the helmet, he looked around again but saw nothing new. No dwelling, no waterfall, no picturesquely compelling view that would draw him there…yet he knew he was in the right place. The tiny trail. Moving around the bike, he followed the instincts that had led him thus far, clearing the thicket of trees to bulge his eyes in surprise when he saw the cabin hidden from view of the main trail.
As he neared cautiously, he was even more surprised to recognize the SUV parked to the side. Venturing to knock, Jason waited anxiously until the door opened.
"Jason!"
"Hi."
Sam squinted her eyes shut then opened to find him indeed there.
"What are you doing here?"
"May I come in?"
She stepped aside and waved him in, her mind racing to remember if she'd ever told him about the cabin. "Of course - it's your place, afterall."
"My place?" He turned around to face her at the door. "I own a cabin in the woods?"
Sam moved past him to reclaim the seat she had vacated in front of the fire, grabbing hold of the mug she'd laid down to answer the door.
"Yep. Like I told you before - a lot of things are yours. This is one of many surprises you'll find in your portfolio, Mr. Morgan."
He walked over to the roaring fire and stretched his arms out, turning his hands over to warm them evenly. The wind had picked up on his ride, but he had been way too curious to turn back. Now he was doubly glad he hadn't.
"Did I come here alot?" His gaze was fixated on the jumping fire as he tried to recall a visit to the cozy love nest. Must have been their spot.
"I'm not quite certain, actually. We've been here together a few times but you liked to ride your bike and spend time alone with your thoughts sometimes. You probably ended up here - it's always been one of your favorite places - even before you built the cabin."
Jason unzipped his leather jacket and turned to look at her tiny frame, swathed in a fuzzy blanket on the couch, staring ahead into the fire. She looked so inviting and warm.
"I didn't usually tell you where I was going?"
Sam smiled warmly. "We didn't have restrictions on each other. If you wanted to jump on your bike and go for a ride, you were more than free to do that at any time. We didn't keep secrets, if that's what you're asking, and we didn't lie to each other. Not after we found out the hard way how painful that can be."
Sam took a sip of hot chocolate and closed her eyes to the intrusive presence his six foot two, sculpted, chiseled form had brought to her quiet afternoon. So much for alone time, alone!
Jason sat on the couch next to her and studied her beautiful face. "I didn't mean to imply anything. I'm just not used to that kind of open trust and freedom, I guess. Did I trust you the same way?" He knew instinctively that he did.
"Without question."
She was starting to feel bad. She'd purposely neglected offering him a beverage, simply hoping he'd decide against staying, but he seemed settled for the time being. Sighing as she remembered her manners, she got up from the couch to refill her own cup.
"Can I offer you anything?"
Jason smiled. He knew she was offering because he got comfortable and decided to stay and he knew he should feel bad about intruding on time she was obviously trying to enjoy alone, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to stay. These days he was finding himself drawn more and more to her company and always hating to leave. This was no different. It sent tingly shockwaves through him to find her secluded in a place that he just learned meant a lot to them - even now - after all this time and how he'd treated her lately. Sam Morgan continued to intrigue him so.
"I'll have what you're having, thanks."
When she rejoined him on the couch and handed him a steaming cup, he struck up conversation to get his focus off the road his thoughts had taken.
"When were we last here together?"
Sam thought about the question, remembering the precious few days they'd spent there as new parents…or so they thought. Those two, blissful days had been heaven-sent magic, after the scare they'd had. That it had been too good to last hadn't occurred to either of them then, but they sure found out later.
"That was a really long time ago."
"You promised." When she looked at him annoyed, he reminded her, "You promised to fill in the blanks - you can't take it back now."
He was right. She knew that no matter how many times she tried to get out of it, she'd given her word. Fine…but she'd filter what she told him about that visit, because if she told him about the pregnancy, she'd have to tell him about Hawaii, and if she told him about Hawaii, she'd have to tell him about Franco, and she just wasn't ready.
"It was shortly after we got married. You thought I could use a couple days away, and you were right."
"Why - was something going on?"
Exactly why she didn't want to say anything. "There was usually always something going on with us, Jason - Port Charles kept us very busy. Between your business and Sonny's tantrums, my job and living in a family of women, there was never a dull moment between us."
Sam sipped from the cup, refusing to meet his eyes, hoping he'd be satisfied with that answer. Usually he wouldn't be, and he wouldn't stop until he got her to fess up. But that had been her Jason.
Jason knew she was evading, but if she chose to keep some things close to the vest right now, he'd give her the benefit of the doubt. He couldn't explain it but strangely enough…he trusted Sam Morgan. Had, since he met her and they struck up an unassuming, light, airy friendship…as if they'd been friends all their lives.
"Did it work?"
"What?"
"After you got some rest - did it drive the monsters away?"
"For a while, yes…those two days worked wonders."
"Is that why you're here now?"
"I actually come here more now than when we were married."
"Ouch. I'll try not to take that personally."
Her laugh warmed his heart, then something about the melodious sound of it opened a portal that played out in the middle of the room. She was clothed in black, they both were..laughing about baby gates and changing diapers. He was going to childproof the penthouse and she was going to learn all about babies…she was pregnant with their baby! The way she glowed, the radiance of her hundred watt smile…she was happy. He was thrilled and looking forward to the birth of their child. Their child.
"You were pregnant with Danny!"
Sam heard the whisper and her head jerked in his direction in surprise, the faraway look in his eyes telling her everything he didn't say.
"You're remembering!"
He heard her voice in the room but it sounded like an echo to the one playing out with the other version of him. Something had been weighing heavily on them for awhile, and he was so relieved to see her smile. He wanted to keep the pain away from her, to help her forget and never think of it again.
"What did I want to take you away from?" His blood started to boil and he wanted to kill somebody…somebody had hurt her.
Sam rose from the chair and set the cup down on the side table. No way was she going to bring Franco into her peaceful afternoon - not today. "That's a story we'll definitely be tabling for a later time." She looked back at him and saw the questions in his eyes, and while she felt bad to leave him without answers, she just couldn't - not today. "Some other time, Jason…please."
He wouldn't push. Whatever it was still caused her pain, and it was bad enough to make him want to kill. He was desperate to know, but something in the haunting that appeared in her eyes stopped him from pushing her. "Okay."
"You know what - you still have some stuff here. You should probably go through to see if you still want any of it."
He rose to follow her towards the small closet in the far corner of the spacious room. "Oh, yeah? Anything good?"
"You're not the hoarding type, so I'm pretty sure you'll find something useful to you." She took the phone from her pocket and checked the time. "I'm gonna go - I have to pick up Danny." She changed direction for the front door and Sam was taken aback by the sense of loneliness she felt at leaving him. She didn't want to go.
Jason watched her slide the coat on and an empty ache echoed right through him. He didn't want her to go. "Huh…Sam?"
"Yeah?" He suddenly looked sad. Did he want her to stay?
"Next week is Christmas…do you mind if I got to spend some of it with Danny?" Even a small smile transformed her beautiful face in the most genuine way.
"Sure! He'd like that."
Jason walked her out and watched her drive away, the sense of loneliness without her confounding and confusing him. It was as though the universe kept drawing him to her, showing him how he was with her. He'd been running into her in the most unlikely places, this one being even more odd than the last. As he turned and reentered the cabin, Jason once again felt the anger from earlier. Somebody had hurt her, and so badly that it pained her to even talk about.
He strolled the room in silence, reacquainting himself with its contents, finding little pieces of a life he'd long ago left behind. Sam had kept up with the place…it looked lived in and cozy. As he passed a counter in the tiny kitchenette that housed a solitary beer bottle, he stopped short, fixated at the label. That brand of beer…it was the same locally brewed brand he'd found a few months ago in a little out of the way spot he'd happened upon on the outskirts of town. Did Sam enjoy the same kind? He opened the fridge to check, and wouldn't you know…stocked with several cases of the stuff. The odds just kept on piling up with them. Closing the fridge, Jason felt a light spasm as if he'd been shocked, a memory playing out crystally clear in his mind.
"I love that the only thing this place came stocked with is beer"
"I didn't, ah…I didn't know we'd end up here"
"I know, and that's what makes this so wonderful"
Jason leant hard against the counter as the emotions from his memory tore through him and left him breathless, watching as it all unfolded slowly. What the hell was that feeling? The conversation, the connection, the depth, the openness between them - he felt so free with her. She didn't make him want to hide any part of himself from her…she accepted and loved everything about him and he, her. God, he loved her! Nobody, nobody had ever been HOME for him. Sam was home for him!
His body moved to stand upright…he'd built this place, for her! Looking towards the front door, it was as if he saw them physically leave after spending some magical alone time together. They were so happy, so in love and at peace and hopeful in a place he'd built.
Shaking his head as if to clear it, Jason went to the closet to see what it held. He needed a different train of thought to get his breathing under control, but as he eyed the contents, he felt maybe going through mementos wouldn't exactly achieve that. More and more it was turning out that he was unprepared for the emotions his memories of Sam held for him. And each time he experienced one and it left him confounded and breathless, Carly's words would echo like a distant siren behind them…you're 'in love' with Sam!
But that wouldn't do! He had commitments and obligations elsewhere. He was in love and about to marry someone else, someone of his choosing, someone he owed a whole lot to. So why did every run in with Sam leave him so achy for more of her?
Spotting a row of black t-shirts hanging before him, he swooped them together and pulled the duffle from the shelf above it, stuffing them in with the pair of biker boots on the floor. He'd been meaning to get some ever since Sam dropped his bike off…now he didn't have to.
The memory was playing on a loop in his mind, the conversation intriguing his senses that screamed for him to learn more about the easy friendship that surrounded them. She was so easy to talk to, so easy to laugh with, so hot to love on. Putting out the fire quickly, Jason grabbed the duffle and hurriedly left the love nest. Absolutely no good was going to come from him lingering in a place that held the type of heat that was burning him up within its walls, but as he got on the bike and retreated the way he'd come, he knew that he'd definitely be back.
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Sam didn't really need to get Danny right away - she'd really just needed to get away from the close proximity to his father, in the place where they'd made him! Breathing easier the minute she headed back to town, she also felt bad about leaving him with questions…but she just wasn't in the head space at the time to deal with the weight of her Franco experience.
But speak of the fucking devil - who's the first person she runs into when she stops to grab a coffee from Kelly's? Smack dab into the dweeb who wasn't looking where he was going when he opened the door, because his phone was more interesting apparently.
Startled, Sam stepped back and met his gaze, about to apologize, until she saw who it was, the words dying in her throat before they could even make it that far. Sorry, is one word the creep would never hear from her.
"Sam. Oh, gosh - I'm so sorry - are you alright?"
"No! Constantly running into the shit who assaulted me on my honeymoon and marred the birth of my child, will never be alright! Get the fuck out of my way!"
She brushed past him hotly, not caring one damn bit about the puppy dog eyes he sported for her benefit whenever he saw her, nor the puppy dog way he always stopped to stare at her receding back. If she could stab him in the neck and not spend a lifetime locked away from her son, she'd gladly part with the dagger she kept in her boots.
"You know, Sam - some would say that hanging onto the past and carrying that kind of anger daily, weighs heavily on the soul. Don't you want to feel lighter by just forgiving old slights and letting the grudge die?"
Sam spun around to see he'd followed her inside, hovering behind her at the counter as she pulled her gloves off. She wanted to slap the ridiculous snide from his condescending face.
"What part of drop dead, is lost on you? What I want to die, is you - can you make that happen? I'll put the 'slight' aside when you dry up and blow away to hell."
His soft chuckle annoyed her, so before she let her hand travel the course it itched for, Sam turned back to the counter and placed her order for a large coffee.
"Sammy!"
The sound of her name used like that, once made her smile. Now the surgeon was just one more man on her list of those to avoid and regret. Sam drummed her fingers on the counter in anticipation for the coffee being poured, taking it and placing the bills in the waitress' hand before turning to face the man she could go through her days not seeing anymore.
"Patrick."
"I've been calling - why haven't you returned any?"
"You've said everything to me that you need to, don't you think? What else could we possibly have left to talk about?"
His face actually crossed with shame for a brief moment.
"Come on, Sammy - we've been friends for a really long time - more than that for the last year. Surely that warrants me five minutes?"
Feeling the eyes of the other patrons on them, Sam gestured outside and exited ahead of him, stopping on the empty terrace to turn and face him. "You have one minute."
"Can we sit?"
"Fifty-eight seconds, Patrick."
"Fine - look, I'm sorry for the way things blew up the other day. You surprised me with that confession, okay - I know I didn't handle it very well." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and rested it on his hip while he pleaded with the open palm of the other. "We need to have a conversation, Sam - you owe me that much!"
"I owe you?" Sam repeated his words softly. "What I owed you was honesty - I gave you that and you used it to slap me. There's nothing else we need to talk about, Patrick. We were making a mistake, and now we're not - we don't need to talk anymore about it."
"Just like that? You can just end us, just like that? What about all the promises you made to me, Sam? You don't think you owe me five minutes of trying to make me understand why you suddenly can't see us together anymore?"
"I already told you why, and you didn't want to hear it! You're such a fucking hypocrite, Patrick. You, of all people - you, who lived through the very same thing that happened to me and Jason, can stand here pouting like you have no clue. I was honest with you! I thought you deserved the respect of knowing what you were getting into, the respect to not be bamboozled and lied to, and you turned around and showed your ass!"
"What did you expect? It was the day before our wedding and you tell me you're confused by your feelings for another man? How was I supposed to react?"
"Don't act like you don't know that Jason has never been just some other man for me! I have never once lied to you about my feelings where he's concerned - never, and if you've been paying attention you would know, just like the world knows, that when it comes to Jason Morgan, they don't make them any better for me!"
Sam was getting angrier and feeling meaner. "But that's exactly the problem isn't it? From day one the brilliant Dr. Drake has never measured up to the brain damaged thug, who's beneath him, right doc? How's that possible, huh - can't I see how magnificent and omnipotent thou are? Jason Morgan, shining brighter than you…it was okay when he was fish food, but flesh and blood, all man - what am I, blind? Oh no, wait - what was it you said - he'll never choose me!"
"He won't! He didn't, and he isn't going to - can't you see that?" He tried to take hold of her hand, "Come home, Sammy. Jason has chosen to make his life with Elizabeth - that's who he loves - that's who he's taking on a Christmas trip. Come home, where you belong."
Flashing his hand from where he'd grabbed her, Sam dismissed the stab wound his Christmas trip garb had inflicted.
"You and I don't have a home. Not only did you turn out to be a bigger ass than I ever thought you were, but you're a mean one too. I'd rather be alone than with you. I won't settle anymore, Patrick…not for you, not for a husband who loves somebody else - not for anyone. Just leave me alone, okay? Go on about your life and leave me the hell alone."
Turning from him and walking briskly away from the repeated sounding of her name, Sam rolled her eyes to the sky and shook her head. Three for three. Which other man was next to ruin her fucking day?
