Hours later, the cold was starting to bite through the leather jacket but home still wasn't calling him. He was already headed north and close to the tiny little spot he'd been patronizing more and more lately in search of comfort. They had that beer he liked and the food wasn't bad either, but what he really craved about the place was the anonymity its location on the outskirts of town afforded him. He'd never run into anyone he knew there, which worked out perfectly, seeing as his long rides were usually in pursuit of peace and quiet from the familiar.

He'd just stepped up to the bar and ordered a beer, waiting to grab it and go in search of the usual table in the far corner, when someone slapped his shoulder.

"Jason! I thought I might run into you here one of these days!" He was surprised to find Max standing next to him, his hand resting where it had landed on his shoulder.

"You remember this place?" Max' younger brother Milo sat on the stool to his far right.

"He's here, isn't he? Of course he remembers if he's here!"

The brothers quipped at each other as he looked from one to the other, then took the beer the bartender placed in front of him on the bar.

"It's good to see you, Max." He nodded in Milo's direction, then pointed towards the table where he turned to be alone. He took a chair, looking from one brother to the next, who'd followed him and were sitting down too. So much for no company.

"How's the family?"

"Good - everybody's doing good!"

He took a swig of cold lager and swallowed as he looked around the bar, making sure he didn't know anybody else there. He wasn't looking for a party.

"Danny's growing pretty fast, isn't he? He'll be as tall as Sam very soon."

He listened to their low laugh at Max' remark, not missing the fact that Sam and Danny were the family they were asking about, prompting Jason to realize that ever since he found out who he was, Sam and Danny were always the 'family' people referred to when they engaged him in conversation. Funny how he never noticed that before. Funnier how much it stood out now.

"Sam really liked this place too." Milo slapped Max on the arm and added, "Remember the time she hustled you at pool right over there?" He smiled at Jason, "He whined like a baby for days afterwards, remember?"

When Milo suddenly winced and bent over slightly, Jason looked over to Max, who was eyeing him apologetically, who then shrugged, "Sorry. Shit for brains does't always use the little he's got." Then he turned to his brother to grind through his teeth, "Of course he doesn't remember, fool!"

Straightening up from where he'd leant to rub at his shin, Milo also gave Jason an apologetic look. "Oh…sorry, Jason. I forget sometimes. That you don't remember, I mean…" He winced again and reached for the same shin.

Jason looked to Max. "You can stop maiming the man - you don't have to tiptoe around me." He looked back at Milo. "I came here all the time?"

"Yeah. Everytime we made a Canada run you'd stop on the way back. Other times you'd just come out here to be by yourself."

"Canada?"

Max spoke as though choosing his words carefully. "Part of the job in the early days. That's how you found it the first time…you stopped once on your way back to town and just kind of adopted the place."

Nodding, Jason played with the label on the bottle absentmindedly. So, he was a runner for Sonny too. Just what hadn't he done for the man?

As if sensing his thoughts, Max chimed up, "You haven't done that stuff in years. Neither had we…Mr. C just had an emergency and it's the holidays and all…everybody's pretty busy, so…"

When Jason only nodded and took another drink, Max changed the subject. "So, how's everything going with you? You got everything on Danny's and Jake's lists?"

Before Jason could answer, Milo added, "Cause if you don't…we know a guy."

"Thanks, but the boys are all set. I'm looking forward to spending the holidays with them…can't tell you how great it feels."

"We have some idea."

When he looked quizzical, Max continued, "You've always loved kids. Michael, especially…you were great with him. He was closer to you than his own parents - that's how much you were always there for him - listening, encouraging, teaching him stuff, protecting his family. You always wanted kids of your own…and when Sam came along…boy, you couldn't wait! You two were something!"

"So what happened? Why did we?" He felt a little uncomfortable asking the bodyguard such a personal question but it just slipped out. He really wanted to know.

"The job, mostly. You had doubts about raising a kid in the business, and who could really blame you…you've seen firsthand what it did to Mikey and Morgan."

He was really curious now. "Oh, yeah…like what?"

"Run of the mill kidnapping, presumed death, constant guarding - never being free to just be kids."

"Getting shot in the head!" Milo grinned at Max when he missed him that time. "Aha! Didn't see me move over some, did ya?" The glare from his older brother killed his grin instantly, causing him to replay his words in his mind. He looked hurriedly at Jason. "Shit! Sorry, man - that didn't come out right."

Max turned back to Jason. "What my dumbass brother is trying to say is, life wasn't easy for Mikey, and you felt responsible for him so you always took that stuff pretty personally when you couldn't prevent it. You really wanted a kid with Sam, but you were scared of what would happen with the kind of people who target us on a daily basis. You and the boss lived by your own creed - no women and children - not everybody does though."

Jason nodded as he listened, trying to picture himself in the center of the Corinthos' but not understanding how he laid so much down for the head honcho. Leaning forward and surrounding the beer bottle with both hands, he faced Max squarely.

"Tell me something - what was with the blind loyalty to that guy? Why did I care so much about his business that I would leave my family at the drop of a hat to run to his beckon like that?" Thinking how he got shot always sat miserably with him, unable to understand how he could've left Sam and Danny that way.

Milo answered first, "Are you kidding? Mr. C commands that kind of loyalty - one look from him and you jump - do whatever he says!"

Max' look for his brother was the same one he'd been giving him all night. "Don't listen to him - you and Mr. C had a different kinda vibe. Yes, the boss gave the orders and for the most part, you did what he asked…but it was never anything you didn't agree with. You weren't exactly a yes-man, if you know what I mean?"

"No?"

"Hell no! You disagreed with him plenty and you always let him know. You had more of a camaraderie - he respected your opinion - still does I think - and you never did anything you weren't comfortable with."

"So you're saying I wanted to leave my family, to put myself in that position to be taken from them like that?

"No, no - it's not as simple as all that." Max spread his hands as he explained, "See, Jason - you were like…everybody trusted you. You were always a stand up guy and you could handle the business better than anybody I know. Mr. C was the head honcho, no doubt…but you were his right hand and everybody knew to go to you…with anything! You never turned anybody down who needed help."

Smirking, Jason leant back in his chair and brought the beer with him. "Yeah…I'm sure I was a real standup guy!"

Max could tell he didn't really buy it about himself. If only the guy knew the real him!

"You ask anybody in Port Charles and they'll tell you who Jason Morgan really was…and not just the Corinthos', who worship the man they could all count on, every last one of them…but you ask anyone of the Spencers - you've saved them more than once! Robin Scorpio wasn't one of your best friends for no reason. Even people who should've hated you, showed you respect - just ask Johnny Z! You really don't give yourself enough credit man…but I know it's hard, if you don't get to the man you're judging."

Listening to the words that weren't falling on deaf ears, Jason took another drink and thought to himself how the man might have a point. Most of what he knew about himself was negative and leave worthy, but there had to be a reason why the people he'd met over the last couple years had bonded with him so closely…raved about him so ferociously. He couldn't have been Satan, if they were all so willing to love him and give him the benefit of the doubt even now. Maybe the vanilla, watered down version he was with Elizabeth wasn't all there was. Maybe he really was worth taking a closer look at.

He gestured between himself and Max as he looked the man in the eye. "Were we…close?"

Max smiled and shifted in his chair. "We worked together for a long time - you were always a friend and a fair boss, and there's nobody I'd rather go into a gunfight with." When Jason squirmed uncomfortably at the mention, Max cleared his throat, "But that's not all, man! The way you were with the Cs, every one of them…you were family! The way you were with your own family…you loved your wife and you were really looking forward to raising your son! I'm just sorry you didn't call me to have your back that night - I should've had your back!"

"Yeah - we both would've had your back, man…next time, call us first!" Milo yelped out loud this time and glared at his brother who had extended far enough to reach him again. "Will you STOP doing that?"

When Max lifted his right hand, Milo drew back from the mock backhand.

"What my halfwit brother means is, we're here - call us if you ever need anything."

When Jason pursed his lips that lifted in a slight smile, the brothers both rose from the table and Max added, "We better get back before Mr. C sends out a search party. See you around, Jason."

With a slight lift of his hand, Jason watched them leave, thinking there was a time when that was his world. It felt strange knowing that he was such a huge proponent of organized crime, that he was feared and apparently respected in those circles, and it gave him a strange type of longing, for the oddest moment. Did he miss it on some level? He thought about the quiet, unassuming existence he now lived with the small family that meant so much, and he knew he didn't want something else.

So what was that yearning in the pit of his stomach all the time? If he was so fulfilled and so content, why was his mind constantly troubled and his heart achy…and just what the hell was the ache for? Obviously he'd cheated on Sam with Elizabeth - given the information he just got that he was with Sam first and trying to have a child with her, yet Jake was older than Danny! He'd naturally assumed that he was with Elizabeth first, then he met and married Sam…but that apparently wasn't the case. So if he'd wanted Elizabeth enough to cheat on Sam with her, ended up where his heart truly laid after his loss of memory…then why was he in absolutely no hurry to get home to her? Why had he sent every single call from home to voicemail all night? Why hadn't he read a single text with her name on it…after the acute pang each time he saw it wasn't one from Sam? If he was living out his destiny…why the fuck did he feel so lost?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Elizabeth couldn't sleep a wink. He'd been gone for hours and hours and wouldn't take a single one of her calls. What was he doing? Who…realizing that she knew the answer before she even asked the question, she finally got fed up enough to yell out loud to the empty room. Tossing the pillow where she'd been wringing it anxiously between ashen hands, she stood up from the couch and grabbed her keys and coat. She wasn't going to sit idly while they made a fool of her - not again!

She pulled up to Harborview Towers and took a deep breath. She used to love the place…loved visiting Jason there and even once thought about living there with him…but now it was marred by the town slut. What were they doing up there together?

Pounding on the front door a few minutes later, she waited anxiously until the door swung open to reveal the man thief. "Where is he?" Pushing the door and shoving inside past Sam, she was ready for a fight.

Sam staggered back from the front door as the abrasive little twot pushed past into her home. When was this ridiculous day going to end?

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Get out of my house!" She wanted to grab her by the stringy, unkempt mess of brown sitting on top of her head and toss her bony ass to the street, but she'd had enough of fighting today. She just wanted her to go away.

"I'm not leaving without my fiancé! Jason!" She walked to the bottom of the stairs and yelled up them, "Jason!"

Sam left the front door ajar and approached the crazy. "I don't know where you lost him, but your fiancé, is not here! Now, get out!"

When she moved to take the steps instead, Sam sprung into action, still fighting to keep a lid on her now rising temper. Grabbing the bitch by the arm, she yanked her off the first stair.

"You're not storming into my home and searching it at will!" She spun her around and shoved her hard towards the front door. "I don't know what the hell kinda drama you and Jason are having but you leave me out of it and get the hell out! I already told you, he's not here!"

Fuming, Elizabeth's eyes dropped to the familiar garment on the arm of the couch. She stepped fast around Sam and grabbed it, shoving it towards her angrily.

"Oh, no? Then where did you get this?"

She'd barely asked the question before the corset was yanked from her hand.

"Don't touch my shit! I'm not going to ask you again to leave!"

"I knew it! I knew you couldn't just leave us alone. You think because he bought you some filthy, tasteless piece of lace, that means he wants you? You're just the whore he knows will let him stick her even though you know he doesn't want you!"

Sam was fast losing the battle for control. She advanced as the anger reared within her. "Me? I'm not the desperate bitch who can't stop chasing him. I'm not the needy hoe who's been pining after him for years, waiting, baiting, lying, scheming to bed him no matter how many times he walks away from you. Why are you so scared right now, huh? Feel him slipping away again? Just how many times was it that you laid yourself at his feet, only for him to take a hard pass and swipe you to the left?"

When her hand shot out towards Sam's face, Sam was nearing the last straw. She grabbed it and twisted hard as she brought it down, eliciting a loud cry of pain from the woman. Shoving her backwards, Sam stuck a forefinger in her direction.

"Try that again and you leave here in a bodybag!"

Elizabeth rubbed her arm gingerly as angry tears stung at her eyes. "Why the hell can't you just leave us alone? He chose to live a life with me and my boys - why can't you just respect that and move on? How pathetic are you?"

Sam laughed but no sound came. "You're calling someone pathetic? Where are your kids right now? You're in my home, looking for the man who you know chose you by default, crawling out of your skin because you know with everything in you that you'll never be able to keep him - you've never been able to keep him…and you're going to stand in my living room and call me names?"

Elizabeth stuck her chin up when the words slapped her squarely. "You're living in the past. Jason's changed, he wants me now - he told you that! You and your slutty underwear aren't enough for him anymore - he has a real family now, and I will never let you have him again! Do you hear me? Over my dead body will I ever lose him to you again."

"Oh, poor lil Elizabeth…sucks, finding out people can use their own minds, huh? Here you are, trying everything you know how, to desperately hold onto something that doesn't belong to you…and damn if that man isn't just slipping away!" Her tone was deriding as she sneered at the pitiable creature, not feeling an ounce of sympathy for the self-inflicted agony poring out of her. "When have you ever been woman enough for Jason Morgan?"

Elizabeth stuck her left hand towards Sam. "When he got me this! When he divorced your skanky ass and put a ring on it!"

Sam's laugh sounded loudly this time. "Hah! That shiny barb that's squeezing the hell out of your finger right now? That's just jewelry sweetheart…where is the man?"

Elizabeth couldn't hide the sting from the bristling words, but she wasn't done. "With me! Marrying me in a few days! So you can stop with your little parlor tricks, trying to lure him back - he doesn't want you! Why don't you just pack up your shit and slither out of town the way you came - just leave us the hell alone?"

"And miss all this? I have a front row seat to you unravelling by your own hands - who would want to miss that? Here's a tip for you, Lizzy…" Sam moved closer and mimicked a confidential whisper, "Keep him happy at home, that's how you'll get him to actually want to be there." She leant back quickly, "I mean, now that you've gotten him to propose and all. You finally have the time you've been scheming to get with him - you wouldn't want to waste it now, would you?"

Elizabeth was still fuming but she had no recourse. Jason was obviously not there - he'd been and gone. She probably just missed him when she arrived. He was probably home waiting for her. Glaring one last time at Sam, she moved towards the front door, holding her head high. She paused with her hand on the knob when the woman called her name, turning slowly to meet dark, evil eyes on a hard, cold face.

"Next time you misplace my ex-husband, don't come to my home…you will leave with pieces of you missing." Sam's voice was low as she locked eyes with the most pathetic creature she'd ever known. No clue what men saw in her and she didn't care anymore. She just wanted her gone. And she could take and keep Jason with her too. It was thanks to him that she'd ever had to deal with the trifling nurse in the first place and if fate had worked the way it had originally promised her, she'd be stuck dealing with her for the rest of their lives. Guess there was one silver lining to losing her Jason afterall.