Sam couldn't sleep. She was in a familiar bed, surrounded by her things in her home, yet her mind could not find rest. Turning on her side, she opened tired eyes that fell to the pillow next to hers, its instantly noticeable lack of indentation sending a longing through her blistered heart. Reaching a tentative hand out, she stroked the soft surface that once housed the blonde crop she'd caressed just like that so many, many times. So many incomparable moments, hours, years, had been spent in that bed, in their own world together.

Closing her eyes again, her heart lulled at the conjured image of his slumbering, peaceful face at rest there, his even breaths softly brushing the underside of her hand as she traced its strong, handsome outline…its gentle, one of a kind features.

When the burning longing stretched through her loins to clutch at her heart, Sam pulled her arm back and gripped the sheet tightly, lifting her knees to meet a curving torso, even as the fetal position did very little to ease the familiar, fiery pain that tore all through her. It strummed the same empty echo, each and every time she allowed herself to feel the wrenching loss of their monumental, once in a lifetime love. As the lonely tears seeped through tightly clamped lids to disappear into the pillow below her head, Sam forced herself to breathe, slowly releasing the image that kept her locked to the love of her life…releasing the face of the man she would love intensely till her dying day.

She'd put him in that corner of her heart, locked him away in those recesses unreached by any other…and she'd been able to keep him there, away from everyone, able to move on and take one step, one day at a time, without him in this world. She'd managed to take one painful breath after another, for the sake of the other love of her life…and it had worked. She'd managed to put one foot in front of the other and take each day one at a time to make their lives work…until now. Until the rug was pulled out from beneath her once again, each day since then feeling like something unreal and dreamlike…the unmatched, irreplaceable joy of having him alive and in their world again, sinking to the unbelievable low of having him not remember them. He couldn't remember their love…couldn't remember the living, breathing, remarkable product of that love…and he probably never would.

Turning onto her back, Sam stretched her body as she forced the pain out of her heart, reaching both hands to wipe the unwanted tears away. After taking a series of deep breaths to steady and calm herself, she finally sat up and swung a leg over the side of the bed, reaching to toss the sheet back. She couldn't sleep - no use in pretending - not like there was anybody there for her to put a front up for.

Standing up, Sam grabbed the warm robe that was her favorite, even as it swept at her feet as she made her way out of the bedroom. She quickly checked on Danny, who was deeply ensconced in dreamland, then made her way to the first floor, where she got a bottle of water and sat at the dining table in front of her idling laptop, deciding to put her sleepless state to good use.

"Usually, you're only up this time of the morning sweating or staking…might as well put some work in to make it count." She mumbled out loud as she perused the files, all closed, showing nothing in the pipeline for the immediate future. "This won't do, Sam…gotta do something!"

Taking a drink of water, she set her mind to work. The new year was just around the corner and she needed to make sure McCall and Jackal PI got back into the swing of things. She'd let everything fall behind long enough…first she'd been left reeling from the loss of her love, then she'd been busy being a new mother, putting the pieces of their lives back together, then it was somebody new she'd needed to please by burying a huge part of herself…the result of which had culminated in leaving her dreams for her business in the dust. This firm was a part of her, it was something she'd been good at, something she'd always wanted…it was time to give it some love again. First things first - she needed to drum up new business.

Before she knew it she'd spent hours on her project, smiling proudly when she hit the send button on the email that would deliver the new marketing piece to every member of her contact list. Letting her former clients know that MAJPI was still very much in business was the first step. Next, she got busy creating some new specials for an ad - buying the center page in the next issue of Crimson wouldn't normally be cheap but there would surely be a family discount in her corner. Smiling when she pictured a huge photo of herself, maybe standing in the middle of her office, arms folded across her chest with a face that said she meant business, dressed in something chic and bikergirl practical - Maxie would insist on dressing her - yep, she had all she needed to make MAJPI the talk of the town!

"Mommy?"

The sound of her baby's voice heading her way brought Sam to look up and notice the first signs of dawn breaking through the blinds.

"Mommy, where are you?"

"Down here, baby!"

Sam closed the laptop and met Danny at the foot of the stairs, reaching her arms out to lift him when he ran the rest of the way down to jump at her joyfully.

"Merry Christmas, Mommy!"

Smiling, Sam kissed his hairline softly, "Merry Christmas little man. Too excited to sleep anymore, huh?"

"It's time for presents!" He was already squirming out of her arms, grabbing hold of one hand as he pulled her forcibly towards the tree.

"Okay, okay…you go - I'll be right there." Turning back to the table, Sam activated the camera on the laptop and adjusted it to center on Danny, already beneath the tree, shoving all the smaller presents aside to get to the biggest one first. The joy of seeing him so excited was always the best part of the day for her, and she knew she'd gone a little overboard with the large pile beneath the tree this year, but she'd felt the need to make sure her son didn't feel like he was missing out on anything by it just being the two of them. She knew it was dangerous to spoil a child rotten but he was such a good little boy - she knew she would always spoil him.

"Hey, wait for me!"

They ripped through paper together, stopping every now and then to try and pin a bow on each other's forehead or arm, laughing hysterically when one incident resulted into a tickle fest that left Danny in tears he was laughing so hard. Finally easing up, Sam decided to stop before she sent him into convulsions. That's when the knock sounded on the door and before she could move, Danny was up and racing towards it yelling, "Daddy! Daddy!"

Knowing it would be him, Sam stayed in place where she was sitting on her heels by the tree, watching as Danny threw the door open and flew into the arms of his father, who had to drop the shopping bags to hug him back.

"Hey, Buddy! Merry Christmas!"

Jason kissed the top of his son's head, loving the way it always made him feel to hold Danny in his arms, knowing he'd never get tired of the profound effect it had on his heart. He still couldn't believe he'd been missing out on this for so long, and he never wanted to miss another day with his boy.

"Merry Christmas, Daddy. Come see what Mommy got me - it's so cool!"

"Oh, yeah?" Grabbing the bags from where they'd fallen, Jason closed the door and followed as instructed, then stopped to stare at the huge pile of toys amid a mountain of wrapping paper. "Which one? It looks like you've got the entire toy store over here." His eyes fell on the lovely dark-haired creature settling into a seat on her legs, and the smile on his face widened.

"Merry Christmas." He didn't know why his voice suddenly got so soft, but it suited the way he felt looking at her, comfortably clad in grey yoga pants that peeked out from a dark robe obviously three times her size. Must be Patrick's he thought, not liking it one bit.

"Merry Christmas." Sam didn't know why her heart beat so fast whenever he was near. Well, she knew…but she didn't know why it still did, even now. Reminding herself that he was there for Danny, she got up and pointed at the bags he held. "Talk about buying out the stores…"

With a shrug, Jason smiled again at the mirth in her warm brown eyes that mocked his own, then forcibly broke the trance that was threatening to bind him. He couldn't risk getting kicked out by making her uncomfortable before he'd had a chance to be with them. Moving around Sam, he laid the bags next to Danny and shrugged out of his leather jacket while his excited son started tearing through them.

"Wow!"

"Wow is right…Jason, that's way too much!" Sam moved near, while making sure she didn't stand too close to him. The impish look he gave her kept her smile in place.

"I know you're not talking!" Gesturing towards the piles on the floor, he smiled too when she did again.

"Okay, fine! We're awful parents to overindulge like this…does that really say, Harley Davidson?"

When she pulled the strings of the robe to singe tighter at her tiny waist, Jason had a sudden flashback. She'd worn the ratty thing before…and it wasn't Patrick's. As he ogled her face showing tiny puffs beneath eyes that told of a sleepless night, he couldn't help marvel how beautiful she looked, doubly so wearing his robe! Slowly, he was remembering that she wore it all the time…had taken it over practically from the minute she first moved in…just like she did his t-shirts…and he'd always thought they looked so much better on her.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist! It was the first thing I saw when I walked into that store and all I could see was Danny riding it." Jason pointed to the four wheel go-cart next to the couch that his son couldn't wait to show him. "But you really shouldn't talk!"

The beautiful sound of her laugh trailed as she headed for the kitchen. "Coffee?"

He followed behind Danny, who was already steering the Harley Davidson trike behind his mom.

"Yes, thanks. Hey, it reinforces balance and muscle coordination." When she swung back to give him a questionable look, he smiled again. "That's what the sales guy told me, so see - I'm really doing something healthy for our son."

They had coffee together, seated in the living room while Danny opened all his presents, then took turns switching between the trike and the go-cart, his happiness being everything to them both, as it echoed throughout the room. Eyeing her coconspirator cautiously where he sat in the armchair across from her, Sam broached a question that had been tickling her mind.

"How are you able to be here right now? Didn't you have to open presents with your family?"

Something about the way she said that sounded so wrong to him. Why? "The boys spent the night with their great grandmother." When she raised an eyebrow he continued, "You were right - she had plans for us to leave last night."

Sam shifted to pull a leg beneath her on the couch but said nothing. Though a little bit curious, it was the mildest little bit. She didn't particularly care to discuss Elizabeth Webber in her home on Christmas morning. Not anytime really, but definitely not this morning.

"Anyway, they all thought that's where they were going to be for Christmas so Audrey had made plans for them. They'll be home soon to open their gifts."

"Then you'd better get going."

"Soon." He looked at Danny again, who'd abandoned the motorized toys and was now exploring his new tablet. Jason didn't want to leave. Deep inside him he felt like he was supposed to here with them…this is how it was supposed to be. There was a contentment he hadn't felt in awhile, a belonging that surrounded him everytime he was with them, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore. He was with his family. But he wanted to share the same thing with Jake too.

Sam rose from the couch and turned towards the stairs. "Suit yourself." She brushed Danny's hair as she passed him, "I'm going to change kiddo - you can take that foam pogo stick with you over to grandma Monica's and try it out there."

"Yay! Christmas cookies! Can Daddy come too?"

Sam continued up the stairs and left Mr. Morgan to answer that for himself. Maybe he'd have better luck explaining to their baby why he lived with Jake and not him…she'd tried several times but it was hard for him to understand, especially after she'd spent so many years showing him photos of his dad, telling him how much his dad loved them and would come home to them if he could. It had been really hard explaining to a four year old that his dad didn't live with them because he got hurt and didn't remember them. Let him take a shot at it this time - she was tired of explaining Jason Morgan's choices.

Jason watched her climb the stairs and it was the most familiar feeling - Sam, climbing the stairs in their home, him watching appreciatively - and the longing to follow her, deafening. He ran his hand through his hair and roughly down his face. More and more lately, his thoughts were consumed with Sam. He could be doing anything - taking a walk, doing a chore, playing with the boys - something would trigger thoughts of her that would take over everything and he'd find himself wanting to see her, to be in her presence. He'd find himself wanting to have conversations with her - he really liked that he could talk to her about anything! He was so intrigued by her.

"Will you come, Daddy?" Danny had moved to scoot next to him and Jason lifted an arm to draw him closer, patting his outer thigh when Danny rested his head against his side.

"I wish I could, Buddy, but I have to get home. Your brother and Cam and Aiden will be waiting for me to open their presents."

There was a short silence where Jason felt like crap disappointing his babyboy but having no choice or he would disappoint his other boys. His son's next words tugged at his heart.

"Daddy, is your brain still hurt?"

"Yes, Bud. I still can't remember a lot."

"But you remember some?"

"Yes, I've been having a few memories of some things."

"Like what? Me?"

Jason hugged his son even closer and rested his cheek on his head. "I wish I remembered you, Buddy. More than anything I want to remember everything about you and Jake."

"Can't Grandma Monica help? She's a doctor - she makes people better."

Jason smiled at his little four year old brain at work trying to help him. "Grandma fixes people's hearts. She won't be able to help with my brain."

"Don't they have anybody who can help with your brain, Daddy? Maybe Mommy can find someone - she finds people all the time for her job."

Again he smiled at ideas popping from his smart little boy. "You're probably right - I should probably find a doctor who can help with my brain."

"Then you'll remember and you'll come live with us?"

Jason was caught off guard. He had no idea that Danny had questions about their living arrangements…he just always assumed everyone had accepted the set up that had been in place when everything came out. Sam never said he'd been troubled by his absence from their home.

"I can't live with you, Bud…I have a different house, remember?"

"And Jake will be sad if you leave? Okay, Daddy - you can live with Jake. We can still do stuff together."

"That's right…you and me, we're going to be spending lots and lots of time together…anytime you want, okay?"

"Okay, you…your turn - let's get you dressed." Sam had returned to catch the tail end of their conversation. Reaching an hand out to Danny she waited for him to get off the couch and take it, then she steered him back towards his father. "Give Daddy a hug goodbye, he has to go see Jake."

Danny rushed into his father's arms and Jason held him close, hating that he really had to leave, almost as much as he hated Sam wanting him to. In that moment, he knew that if she asked, he would willingly stay. But he knew she wouldn't. When Danny let go and went back to take his mother's hand, Jason watched them leave with the saddest pang in his heart. They were his family too and the ones he wanted to be with today.

"You can let yourself out. Thanks for coming over." And she was gone.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After the boys had opened their presents, they went out back to take advantage of the freshly falling snow. Jason stayed behind, cleaning up the wrappers and boxes, his mind as absently elsewhere as it had been the entire time.

He was unaware of Elizabeth seated at the top of the stairs, watching him with an underlying, seething anger. He'd used the excuse of the boys spending the night at Gram's to leave early that morning and was gone for hours. Who did he think he was fooling? It shouldn't have taken him more than a few minutes to drop off a gift for that convenient little pawn that was being used to lure him away from his real family! She should've never told him the truth about switching the maternity tests…if she hadn't he'd have never gone back to the harlot in the first place and their lives would be completely different now. As if sensing that he was being watched, Jason turned to look her way, moving past almost immediately after meeting her eyes. Things had been tense between them the last few days and deteriorating even more. She needed to stop the slide. Moving down the stairs, Elizabeth joined Jason in the kitchen where he'd taken the refuse.

"We need to talk, Jason. This has gone on long enough."

He stuffed the trash bag and tied it, before opening the back door to discard it the recycling bin. She waited impatiently for him to close the door and walk back into the kitchen, where she laid a tender hand on his arm.

"You can't continue to shut me out like this. Please talk to me."

Jason stopped and looked at her delicate features…so deceivingly innocent. Was she really as sweet as he'd always thought her to be? She really hadn't done anything terrible…a tad selfish and thoughtless, yes…very unlike the woman he'd come to know and love, but everyone made mistakes. Everybody had weak moments every now and again…was he judging hers too harshly? With a sigh, Jason leaned his back against the sink and braced his hands next to him.

"What do you want to talk about?"

Her eyes shone instantly with relief, sensing a thaw. "Us? Our plans…I'd like us to carry out our plans to get married…it's fully time Jason. We have the boys to think about - we need to make their family solid…get married so you can start the adoption process like we talked about."

Jason thought about the first time he'd asked her to marry him…the joy he'd felt when she'd said yes…the anticipation of making their family whole and eternal. Looking at her now, thinking of the memories he'd uncovered since that time, he realized with a heavy heart that forever with her was not at the top of his list anymore. He was still in love with her…he was convinced that at her core she was the same person he fell for…but now there was something else too. Something about her made him edgy now. He was no longer completely convinced that his path was with her…not like before.

Turning to look out the window at the boys playing in the yard, Jason thought about his reasons for being there. He loved them. He'd made promises to them and they were good boys who needed a father. But was it him?

"I'm not so sure that's the way we should go anymore." The soft words echoed to his ears and twigged his heart, but Jason knew they were the truth. He had to admit that he was no longer one hundred percent certain that this was the family they all needed.

Elizabeth heard the words that tore the relief from a minute earlier and sent her heart careening to the ground.

"What?" She took a giant step to bring her next to him at the sink, where she stuck her head near his face, swinging his arm to force him to face her. "Jason, you are not trying to break our family apart! Don't you dare let that tramp tear us to shreds!"

His eyes narrowed when the delicate features from earlier seemed to morph into hard hatred, right before his eyes. Just how many faces did she really have?

"I presume you're referring to Sam? Why do you always insist on calling her names? You do realize that she's the one who was wronged here, right?"

"What?"

"Sam is the woman I was married to when I disappeared! She's the one who spent years yearning for her husband and the father of her child, to have their lives back…and she's the one who was left when I did return. I don't remember her, divorced her and proposed to you…and yet, she's the one who's been gracious and understanding about all of it. So again, why do you insist on calling her names all the time? What has Sam done to you?"

"What has she done?" Elizabeth scoffed and turned her lips in disgust as she flared, "She watched our son get kidnapped and did absolutely nothing, told no-one and watched us lose our minds for weeks - that's what she's done! She sent men with guns to terrorize my children at the park and taunted me for years…hated me because I gave you a son when she couldn't…that's who she is!"

Jason couldn't believe what he was hearing. What was she talking about? The Sam Morgan he knew would never do anything so vile as the things she was saying! Sam was a mother for crying out loud!

"You're lying!"

"Am I? Just ask her! Ask Lucky - ask anybody! That evil little whore is nothing like the martyr you're making her out to be…she's hated me for years because you loved me. You've always loved me, and that's why we bonded so easily when you couldn't remember anything at all. I, am the mother of your child and she can't stand it!"

'If you ever do anything to hurt Elizabeth and the boys…anything…I will kill you!'

If the sink wasn't behind him he would've dropped through the wall! The words rang through his brain and a flash of him threatening the life of a younger, fuming Sam, shone as vivid as though it was unfolding right then in the kitchen. The hatred that burned inside him, the intense anger at her and at himself, at the situation and the dangerous misjudgments, was stifling. It was like watching a horrible black and white strip of himself and the woman he loved, even as he hated her…what the hell was she thinking?

"She's a con artist that bilked men out of their money and she would've done the same to you and Sonny if you weren't too smart for her. She latched herself onto you so she could get at your wallet - I don't know how you could ever bring yourself to ever trust her again."

Her words were a distant resonance…he was still in a fog, on a loop in his mind, threatening Sam's life! That's the kind of thug he was…threatening a woman who had loved him? Her life…he wanted to take her life?

He couldn't breathe. The air was suddenly sucked out of the room and he was suffocating - he had to get out. Racing past Elizabeth to the living room, Jason grabbed his jacket and bolted for the door, barely hearing the sound of his name being shouted repeatedly. He had to get out!

He wanted desperately to jump on his bike but the snow was coming down steadily now, so he jumped into the SUV instead. With no destination in mind, Jason found himself just driving. He didn't care where he went - he just needed to go.

Sam was a dangerous person? Is that why they'd ended up together…it's what they had in common? How could that be…she was remarkable with Danny! Even before he knew he'd been married to her, he considered the husband she talked about to be the luckiest man in the world to have been loved by her. She was so devoted, so sincere, so selfless…how could that possibly be the same person who would endanger children? Who was this woman?

When the SUV came to a stop, Jason was shocked to find himself outside the gates of Greystone. He'd promised Carly he'd stop by for a drink after dinner but it wasn't nearly time yet, and he wasn't particularly looking forward to spending time in Sonny's home with the man…but Carly could talk a crab into a barrel. Just as he was about to turn around, Max came out waving from the guard gate. Jason rolled the window down and nodded.

"Hey, man! You here to see Mrs. C?" Max opened the gates for him to drive through, and after a moment of hesitation, he decided to.

"She's here?"

"Yeah - go on up!"

As he drove up to the front door, Jason started to rethink his decision and was just getting ready to ease around the circular driveway when the front door swung open and Carly stepped out.

"Jase! You're here…come on inside, quickly - it's freezing."

He couldn't leave now. It would just look suspicious and Carly wouldn't stop questioning it until he fessed up. Maybe she could help answer a few things for him.

They exchanged Christmas wishes before Carly ushered him inside, where she had a roaring fire going in the study. She poured a drink for Jason and retrieved her own before joining him by the fire, where he stood rubbing cold hands together to get them warm. Jason took the offered glass and rolled it slowly between his hands as he gazed at the dancing flames.

"So, what's on your mind?" Carly smiled when he looked at her as though to ask how she knew something was. "We have plans for later but you're here now…which we both know you wouldn't be, willingly. Don't tell me you came by to cancel tonight? Jason, you have to come - you promised!"

"Why is it so important to you that I show up? What are you up to?"

Carly raised the glass to her lips and let it linger, rolling her eyes towards the ceiling as she turned away slowly.

"Carly! You're planning something - tell me now or I'm definitely not coming back."

She turned back to face him, "Why do I have to be planning anything?" The attempted look of indignation failed into one of compromise. "Okay, okay - I may have invited someone I think you'll want to spend some time with." She closed in on him deliberately.

"You're setting me up? Like on a date? Carly, I'm still engaged to Elizabeth - is that why you didn't want me to invite her?"

"I never told you not to invite her - won't matter one bit if she's there - you and Sam are inevitable…you'll see."

Jason placed the glass on the mantle and steered for the doorway, silent anger reigniting at the mention of Sam's name. He should've known.

"Where are you going?" Carly grabbed his arm and held fast. "You can't leave till you tell me what you're doing here."

Fuming, Jason stopped to face her. "Fine. Maybe you can tell me why you're so insistent that my life is with someone who would endanger a child. Why would you think I should be with someone like Sam, instead of someone good and gentle like Elizabeth? I thought you and I were supposed to be friends, Carly?"

Jason was surprised by the anger that flashed her eyes when her biting words cut through the air.

"I am your friend, Jason…I'm your best friend! You and I have been to hell and back together and that's why I know you unlike anybody - except maybe for Sam!" When his head went up in defiance she got louder, "Yes…Sam! Your wife! The love of your life - that Sam! Now, I don't know what you think you know or who you're getting this information from…wait, what am I saying, of course I know who's feeding you a line of self-serving bull!"

"Carly…" he dragged her name out warningly. He wouldn't stand for her putting Elizabeth down again, not now, not after what he remembered today.

"Don't Carly me, Jason! You need to hear this…you've been hiding from yourself long enough and I'm sick of it. Sit down - we're going to talk, and by God if you try to leave again I'll have Max cuff you to the damn banister!"

She knew poor Max would end up in traction if he even tried, but some things needed to be said and she was tired of waiting for him to come looking for answers. Something had brought him to her and she would grab the opportunity while she had it. Staring him down until he succumbed to her wishes, Carly took his arm and led him to the sofa near the fire. Their talk was long overdue.