Jason swallowed hard, trailing off as he finished reluctantly laying out the distasteful memory for Carly, who looked at him keenly for a minute, before she sighed.

"Take a look at this photo and tell me what you see?"

Carly handed Jason the photo she'd just grabbed from the group on the nearby corner table and waited while he looked at his smiling face that rested cheek to head with Sam. They were outside somewhere, and his arm was wrapped possessively around her tiny frame, holding her lovingly to him. She was beaming, and Jason couldn't miss the gleam in his own eyes, nor the relaxed, happy, contented look about him. He was looking at a man in love.

"It's a picture of me and Sam."

He wasn't fooling her. She saw the look on his face and knew exactly what he was thinking. "Does that look like a man who hates Sam?"

He laid the photo aside gently. "It's a picture, Carly. It's open to interpretation."

"What's open to interpretation is everything Elizabeth tells you! The more things change, the more they stay the same, you know that?"

"What does that even mean?"

"It means you never change when it comes to Elizabeth Webber! From day one you've always been front and center to defend and protect her, no matter how vile she behaves! It means that just like before, she's been able to convince you that she's this innocent, defenseless little flower who you need to pamper and protect, no matter how many times she bares her disgusting claws, or how hard they tear away at your life. You're doing it right now - protecting her at the expense of your family and yourself. She's not who you think she is, Jason!"

Jason rose restlessly to his feet, going back over to the fire to stare into its dancing depths. "You're not exactly impartial where she's concerned. You openly hate her."

"With good reason…you ever think of that?" Carly rose and joined his side at the fireplace, the anguished look on her face channeled from the need to reach her friend. "I admit at first I hated her because you always defended her so fiercely, even against me…but she's given me plenty of legitimate reasons since! And she's not innocent…she always gave back as good as she got - believe me…but you've never seen the ugly side of her that she reserves for any other woman you ever deigned to give a damn about - she made certain of that. This is the woman who turned a blind eye when her husband had me locked up in a panic room in her house, pregnant and in fear for the life of my unborn baby, then made excuses and defended him every chance she got - so yes - I hate her guts! She's weak and complacent! She's also the same woman who was living her life just fine and in love with Lucky, until she found out you worshipped Sam, and wanted a family with her…suddenly you were the one she was meant to be with and she just had to have you. The minute your relationship with Sam showed the tiniest vulnerability, she swooped in and spread her legs open, despite knowing how in love you were with Sam and how crushed you were without her…pretending to be your friend, then gloated every chance she got that she was giving you the child you've always wanted, when Sam couldn't."

"You're not making any sense. None of what you're saying is making any sense. What panic room? What husband?"

"Did she bother to tell you that your last go round with Ric Lansing when you were Jake Doe wasn't your first?" She waited a second then snickered, "Of course not! Elizabeth will never let you find anything out about her that doesn't paint her in the light of a saint! She will be quick to tell you that Sam slept with your enemy and it killed you, but she'll never tell you that was the only reason you slept with her the night you made Jake, and that she was very much married at the time. She'll never tell you what a lying, deceitful, treacherous little slut she really is!"

Jason needed to sit. "She said we'd always wanted to be together and we spent a magical night in each other's arms."

Men could be so dense. Carly wished she could shake his spidey senses back into him somehow but then she remembered how useless they'd always proven against the nurse anyway.

"I'm sure she did…and if you hadn't had your head stuck so far up her ass you might've bothered to ask somebody else who knew you to tell you the real truth! Sam got shot in your arms by an enemy, so you pushed her away thinking it was the only way to protect the woman who was your heart and soul. The night you slept with Elizabeth, you'd gone back to get Sam to work things out, but saw her with Ric - and that's another story unto itself right there. That slimy son-of-a-bitch, who Elizabeth used to be married to, by the way - that you never gave her any grief about either…that egomaniac took advantage of Sam when she was at the lowest point in her life…because you!"

When he looked at her with the shock she wanted to elicit from him, Carly nodded and continued, "Yes -you! You crushed that woman when you left her the way you did - and it doesn't matter that you thought you were doing the right thing and protecting her - the way you did it was harsh and thoughtless…and still she fought for you with everything in her. There she was - feeling unloved and unwanted - by you, the only person she had left in the world and had given everything to - by Alexis, the apathetic mother she just found out she had and who had convinced you to leave her…she had no-one! She was spiraling and you were in hell…and little miss perfect, who was supposed to be your friend, climbed all the way up to your penthouse in the middle of a damn blackout to take advantage of the agony you were in."

"Oh, come on, Carly - I'm a grown man. I don't think she forced me to sleep with her or get her pregnant. I'm just as responsible for what happened."

"Listen to you - right on cue to defend her like she's anything but a cur in heat!" Carly glared angrily at his continued state of delusion. "The only reason she ended up pregnant is because you were drunk, in pain, and the condom was a dud…but to hear her tell it - you two were starcrossed lovers who finally declared yourselves and made a miracle together. She's the one night stand from hell! You needed a friend that night, Jason! Not the selfish whore who used you to make herself feel better!"

Jason was genuinely shocked. Ever since he found out who he was, all he heard from Elizabeth was how they'd forever wanted to be with each other but his life and her commitments always got in the way. He really believed that his violent way of living was the only thing that had stood between them, that had prevented him from being with the woman he truly wanted.

"I thought that I cheated on Sam. I didn't know how I could do that, but I thought that must've been just how strongly I always felt about Elizabeth."

Carly was condescending and getting angrier. "Somebody was cheated alright! I've told you before - you care about her, but you're in love with Sam…and she damn well knew it! Don't you think if anybody knows, your best friend does?" She sat down again and gestured animatedly with her hands, a nervous energy breezing through her as she fought to reach her friend. "Things have never been easy for you and Sam, but you became as strong as you were together because of everything you've been through. She's been there for you through everything and you've been there for her - I won't let you think otherwise…so you stay there, and listen to me…I'm going to tell you what you don't want to know about your life! You've been living blindly under Elizabeth's allusions that it was all bad and violent, and I'm sick of it! It's not true, and I've had it with you hiding from yourself! You were wonderful! And if you did anything wrong, it was to allow that little slut to lead you to betray people you cared about!"

She reminded him about their own friendship that started as a tryst and turned into the most unlikely lifetime bond - the best one she's ever known. She told him about AJ and Tony and Michael, about Sonny and the lasting brotherhood that was forged between them. She told him about Robin, whom she hated and Courtney, whom she loved, Baby Lila, Baby Hope, and Sam's brother Danny. She told him about his brain ailments and his election to die rather than be a vegetable. She told him about the capers and the villains who'd tried to use Sam to hurt him, the countless times she'd backed him up fearlessly and at the risk of her own life.

When she told him of Sam's relentless fight, against him and anyone who said so much as a bad word against him - the Quartermaines, the police, his enemies, even her…even Sonny…Jason felt more shame than he ever had in his life. He thought of the memory he had earlier that day where he threatened her and the anger that went with it, and he felt nothing but disgust with himself. Realizing that he wasn't the least bit surprised by hearing who Sam was, he also realized he already knew her…that he'd been right the first time. So why had he betrayed her? Was that the kind of dangerous animal he'd been…able to look into the eyes of someone who'd repeatedly laid her life down for him and threaten to take her own?

He had no idea what led to the ugliness that Elizabeth told him about but he knew how to find out. He knew he should have done that the minute he'd heard…he should've gone to Sam and gotten it from her own lips. She didn't lie to him. For as long as he'd known her, Sam always told him the truth. Carly was asking him something.

"Have you asked yourself, how, after all that happened, you were able to forgive Sam enough to marry her and start a family with her?"

How could he when he'd had everything all wrong? From the moment he hit town and didn't recognize who he's hearing is the woman of his dreams, didn't pay attention to the connection that had been pulling at him since he met her in the halls of that hospital, didn't choose her when she stood before him in all her compelling, unbelievable glory…he'd gotten it all so very, very wrong!

"You know, people like Elizabeth will say we want you with Sam because she's never minded you putting us first…but that's a damn lie! I hated Sam when she first came to town…she got involved with Sonny and I wanted nothing more than to chase her right back out on a broomstick. Then you fell under her spell too, and boy that's when we went at it - I can't tell you how many times we threw down, Sam and I - but she made it very clear from jump that she wasn't going anywhere. Sam wasn't afraid of me, and I hated her even more for that…but what I hated most was how much you loved her. I had always come first with you, always - through Elizabeth, through everybody - I was first…until Sam. For the first time, you told me right out, that I wouldn't like it if I tried to make you choose between us. You'd never done that before or since…and that's when I knew how truly serious you were about her. But Sam didn't care about being first. She loved you and she's always respected the fact that you had people in your life before you knew her…even that stifling bitch, Elizabeth. She never asked you not to be friends with her - even after you hurt her…because what always mattered to Sam was that you were happy! She understood you in a way that made me crazy…gave you what you needed before you yourself even knew what it was. She was a part of you, Jason!"

"Then why didn't I feel her, Carly? Why did it take me so long to connect?"

"Are you kidding me? As much as you and Sam were involved with other people when you met, you couldn't stay away from each other. When you wanted someone you could trust, to help you find out who you were, who was the first person you thought of? When you needed somebody to talk to about all the things that were eating you up but Elizabeth didn't want to hear, who did you seek out? You and Sam were friends for months before you got involved with each other that first time, even though you lived together…of course you felt comfortable as friends this time too! Elizabeth latched herself onto you the minute you showed up in that ER, it's like stalker instinct with her when it comes to you. How could you not grow attached to her when she made herself so readily available on a daily basis? But ask yourself this…how is it that Elizabeth is the only person in this town who seems to hate Sam's guts? I mean, if Sam's the queen of evil like she wants to make you believe, why don't more people despise her around here? Can you name one other person you've met who can't stand Sam?"

Jason looked at Carly keenly, weighing her question carefully. He really couldn't think of one. Everybody in her circle always seemed to gravitate to her, moved to protect and defend her…everyone - from each member of her family, to the many friends he'd seen go out of their way for her, to strangers in the street she'd had a kind word or did an unsolicited good deed for. Spinelli loved her beyond words, Maxie considered her a close friend, even hard as nails, Epiphany Johnson had a soft spot for her. Theres' no way these people would revere someone who hurt children. There was clearly alot more to the story, and equally clear he would not get it from Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth was real quick to tell you that Sam didn't intervene when she saw Jake getting kidnapped, but I bet she didn't bother to tell you that Sam was numb from you trampling her soul…and with her help! I bet she didn't take any responsibility for leaving her baby careless in the first place! And I bet she sure as hell didn't tell you, Sam was the only reason Jake is alive today!"

"What?"

Carly was shaking her hear again. "No, of course she wouldn't. I'm selfish as hell and I've had my low moments, Jason, but that bitch is the worse mother in the world… God only knows how those boys have lived till now. Despite all her protestations and pretend selflessness about keeping your son away from your dangerous lifestyle, she gladly snuck around with you for your dirty little sexcapades…you, who always told the truth…compromised yourself and lied constantly to sneak around with her. She couldn't let anyone know she was screwing a mobster, so you had to be kept in the shadows, but some Russians you had beef with did find out and they took Jake…and while your precious Elizabeth was off biting her nails and crying up a storm in the arms of her exhusband, it was Sam…the baby snatcher who hated Jake and wanted him dead, the lowlife scum who didn't deserve honesty and faithfulness from you…it was Sam, who went inside a den of armed Russians, kicked ass, and jumped through a window with your baby, just before the entire damn place blew to kingdom come…to save your son…the one you couldn't be bothered to tell her about or deign to share with her! Sam, who you and Elizabeth treated like trash beneath your feet, who you couldn't bother to respect enough to be honest and forthcoming with, because Elizabeth told you to betray her! Sam…who'd crawled through countless gutters on her belly to be by your side in the trenches, without blinking…that's who saved his life. She had to risk her own, to get your holy forgiveness, after everything she'd already done for you…and still to this day, that ungrateful bitch has the gall and the nerve to still hate Sam and want to see her left with nothing."

Jason's brain was about to explode. The way Carly spewed his life at him, switching from derision to contempt, to sarcasm and contrition, to quiet anger…the more she told him, the more it resonated with a distinct ring of truth…the more he could feel himself sinking low, low to the floor. What? He knew he was a dangerous person and he knew he'd lived an eventful life, but he never pictured Sam right there, right next to him through every part of it. Why hadn't he protected her better? Why did she ever forgive the things Carly described? He knew there was no love lost between her and Elizabeth, but he'd had no idea it had gotten that bad and had gone on for that long. After all of it, Sam is the one he'd married, and the child they shared was created by the love between them, in the sanctity of that union. How could his mind have forgotten her this way? How could his heart not know her on sight?

His head went up when a lightbulb switched on the brightest light. But it did! It did know her! It had beat half out of his chest when he saw her running down the hall of the hospital…only he hadn't recognized it for what it was. He'd thought at the time, he'd just pushed himself too far exercising…but that was not the cause of his shortness of breath and the violent pitter patter of his heart. It was her! After years away from her, it had thumped in profound recognition of the sight of her gorgeous visage! And he'd completely missed recognizing it! Completely missed the memory of that sweet, sweet voice that drifted to him all the way deep, deep within his sluggish mind…that angelic voice that called him while his battered brain slumbered, coaxing him to wake. It had been her voice!

"I need to see her."

"Yes, you do. But don't be surprised if she doesn't want to see you. You've been a royal ass to her and she has to be getting pretty sick of you by now…I know I've wanted to strangle you a time or two myself. You've never been a stupid man, Jason - but you've been allowing Elizabeth Webber to yank your chain and lead you around by the nose like a whipped pig. It's sickening to watch and it's really pissing me off!"

"Ouch, Carly. That's a little harsh, isn't it?"

Sonny had entered the room from the kitchen and had obviously been listening. He neared them and held his hand out to Jason. "Merry Christmas, Man!"

Hesitant at first, Jason thought better of being rude to the man in his home. Accepting the hand offered, he returned the greeting, then his head went up when he was hit with another memory.

"You lent me money!"

"What? When did Sonny lend you money?"

Jason had not looked away from Sonny, who's head also went up in recognition of the incident he was referring to.

"Cab fare." Sonny turned to Carly who was looking more puzzled. "It was years ago - when we first met."

"You weren't there." Jason was looking past Carly, the night playing out in his memory…the temper tantrum he threw when Keisha kept pushing, they all kept yapping at him to give something he couldn't. He was sick of their expectations and pitying looks, and just wanted to be left alone.

"We didn't know each other then." Carly got hopeful. "Has this type of thing been happening to you alot - have you been remembering stuff?"

His head went to side with the tiny shrug of his shoulders. "Off and on for a few weeks. I'll have flashes that don't last very long, most of them not making much sense. Not enough to piece anything significant together."

"Maybe you should get some help with that - if could benefit you to talk to someone." Carly rolled her eyes when Sonny scoffed at her suggestion. "Lord knows it'll be a helluva lot better than your source of information so far!"

Jason smiled, despite the heaviness in his heart. "That's sort of what Danny said."

"Yeah? That smart little boy is the best thing you ever did - I can tell you that!"

Jason thought of Danny and his other boys too. For weeks he'd been floundering, growing more and more uncertain of the choices he'd made and the life he was living. He'd started out thinking he was doing the right thing for everyone - causing the least disruption to everyone's lives…but lately it had all been shot to hell. Sam and Danny were no longer happy in a family of their own and he wasn't feeling much like he belonged where he was either. Every sense in his body had been screaming at him with every move he made lately, and it was making him crazy. He was no longer the man certain that he was meant to be Elizabeth's husband, but he felt such an obligation to the boys he'd assumed a responsibility for. They were expecting him to be their father and he'd been telling them for months now that was what he wanted too.

"Do you know what you're going to do?" Sonny eyed him curiously from the bar where he was pouring himself a scotch. When Jason shoved his hands inside his pockets and shrugged, Sonny gestured for him to sit. "You and I had a conversation the day you…disappeared, and I know it probably has little bearing on the choices you feel you need to make now, but brother, I gotta tell ya…if you don't learn from your mistakes, you're bound to repeat em."

Jason said nothing…not sure what was coming but felt compelled to listen. He had no doubt they weren't lying about anything they told him, but he would reserve to take it all with a grain of salt, reminding himself there may be an agenda at work, especially with Sonny, whom he just didn't trust very much…or like, for that matter.

"You'd just gotten Danny back for Sam and you were waiting at the hospital, while the doctors checked him out. Your main concern was what type of life you could give them, but the one thing that you were very clear about was what you really wanted. I want Sam…and Danny! I want to be there with Sam to teach him the things that I've learned, help him avoid some of the mistakes that I've made. I want Danny to know that I'm his father and that I love him…no matter what!" Sonny looked at his friend earnestly. "Those were your words, brother! You wanted your family, and you didn't even know Danny was yours at the time!"

Carly looked at Sonny in alarm and Jason's head whipped. "What do you mean? Why was there a chance that Danny wasn't mine?"

"Oh, shit! Dammit, Sonny - that's a story for another time! Nobody wants to talk about Franco!"

"Franco?" Jason was on his feet again, glaring from one to the other. "What the hell does that freak have to do with my son?"

"Ah, man - I'm sorry, Jason…"

Jason waved his hand to cut him off. "No, just tell me what the hell you meant by that? What happened with Franco and Danny?"

In an instant Carly was standing next to him with a stiff drink. "Here, take this!" When he started to shake his head she insisted with a stern jerk of hers and grabbed his hand to stuff it in, "Take it, Jason!"

He took if from her and would've put it aside but she glared at him until he took a swig to make her happy. Then she took a deep breath and shocked him worse than she'd been doing all evening. "For most of Sam's pregnancy, you were under the assumption that Danny was Franco's."

Jason's head started reeling again. Why was each thing they told him more shocking than the last? Franco and Sam? But she hated the creep! And Danny was conceived right after they got married…what the hell?

"It's nothing that you're thinking, Jason." Sonny knew that look, knew where his own thoughts would've traveled if he was the one hearing this news. Nodding to Carly to indicate she should hurry up and get on with it, Sonny watched carefully as Jason listened to each sickening detail, the stone cold expression that covered his face and stayed there, telling Sonny what he already knew. Franco was one dead son of a bitch!