"What are you doing?" She'd woken up cold and alone after falling asleep snug in his arms. The light from the partially open bathroom door told her where he'd gone, so she waited but when she turned again minutes later and he hadn't returned to bed she went looking, finding him in front of the mirror, staring at his shirtless image, his fingers slowly skirting the scar near his clavicle.
Jason met her eyes without turning. "I'm sorry - I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to bed."
Stepping into the bathroom to slip her arms around his middle instead, Sam sleepily pressed the side of her face into his strong back and wrapped him close. This was a back that had carried so much over the years, that stayed strong and supporting for them all, at times when they would've surely fallen without it. "Not without you." With eyes closed she laced her fingers where they palmed his belly, feeling the warmth of his hand that moved to cover hers. "What were you doing?"
"Just…thinking." Looking down to where he clasped her hands holding him, Jason's mind raced with the recollection that this very position, was one of his very first memories of them together that shook the bland world he'd thought he was happy in - and no wonder, when it made him feel this way - securely wrapped in so much love in her tiny arms, where he'd found real happiness.
She rocked him for a slow moment before lifting her head and moving around to face him, searching eyes finding the pain that had been etched in his for days on end.
"Why are you looking at your scars in the middle of the night?"
He attempted what he could feel fail as even a feeble smile, "It's nothing," as he reached for her hand, "Come on - let's go back to bed."
Hesitating, to stop him turning, Sam read what else he hadn't said. "How can you have a single doubt about who you are, when I don't?"
Jason shook his head in wonder. "How do you know what I'm thinking all the time?"
"Not all the time…but I'm right? You're up checking your scars for that reason?" When his blue gaze shifted in silence, she moved her fingers up his arm to rest on the clavicle he'd been studying when she came in. "You got this in Mexico when Jerry Jax tried to ambush you in an old church."
Blue eyes lifted to meet hers, instantly reading her intent to assuage his doubts and questions. "I remember it as the lucky bullet that brought you back into my life."
"I was always in your life."
"But you weren't always in my arms, stupid me! How crazy is it that I'm grateful to Jerry for anything - much less almost killing me?"
Sam smirked and allowed her fingers to make their way to the scar at his breastplate, softly brushing its surface. "This one was a gift from the Feds."
"Reese."
"Reese."
"But this one, is a second favorite." He touched the scar on his right arm and delighted at the light twinkle that appeared in her eyes. "A bullet never hurt so sweet."
Sam eyed him sheepishly, deigning to finally come clean. "I have a confession to make on that one." When his eyebrows raised knowingly, she grinned, "I didn't mean to shoot you but I can't honestly say I was sorry after it happened."
"I knew it - I always knew you enjoyed that!"
She pinched a thumb and forefinger together between them, "Lillebit!"
Grabbing hold of the hand she held up, Jason's smirk was playful, "I kind of had it coming."
"Yah, you kinda did…" She ran down one thigh next, to a familiar mark, reaching to touch it gingerly even though it hadn't hurt in years, then met his eyes again…"but you didn't deserve this one…trying to protect me."
His gaze followed hers back to the scar on his thigh. "Ric and the PCPD!"
Sam nodded as the memory raced between them. "He was a nasty little suckup gangster wannabe, that one!" She was awed uttering her next thought, "Shows how funny life can be…that he turned out to father my baby sister is unreal to me. It's unbelievable that someone as kind and sweet as Molly could come from Ric Lansing!"
"I'd take a hundred bullets for you though."
When he backed her to the sink and pressed her there, both arms resting against the marbled surface to lock her in place, the mischievous smile spread through her, "You probably have more than that in this gorgeous body already." Leaning in, she brushed a scar on his chest with a light kiss, bracing palms flat to the hardness on either side of it, "Some people collect tattoos - you, my love, collect bullets!"
An involuntary squeal escaped her when she was suddenly hoisted and deposited on the counter, instinctively wrapping him with her legs to pull him fully against her, gasping in pleasure when her middle found his rock hard member and rubbed suggestively as her arms circled his neck already in descent.
His claim of her soft lips muffled his inhaled breath, instantly crashing past the opening in search of her tongue on its way to meet him, one hand reaching behind him to where toned legs met at her ankles, his eager fingers burning a trail back to the hem of his teeshirt to send it up her body and over her head. His heated gaze fell to gorgeous breasts that eased back down with her lowered arms, drawing his head to dip in search of nipple.
Sam moaned and ground against his hardness, clasping his bent head to hold him in place at worship on one breast and then the other, his flicking, stroking tongue guiding a hot mouth to send tingles through her.
"Mhm! Jason…"
Molting blue eyes lifted to meet hers, his breathing irregular, when he asked, "Say that again?"
Eagerly pushing at the waist of the black boxers hanging low on his hips, Sam drank in the chiseled man before her lustily. "Jason! You're my Jason!" Her neck craned in search of his lips making their descent to hers, "Make love to me, Jason!"
The sound of his name falling sweet from the love of his life in the way only she echoed, was swallowed by his tongue ramming her throat as he helped her rid the boxers from his hips and legs, midlift her being fully scooped from the surface of the sink, her big breasts squished to his chest in heated desire.
Woozy and adrift from his dizzying kiss, Sam gripped his shoulders tightly and drank from his lips, then moaned out loud when thick steel dove into her, grating tight walls and filling her fully. Wanting even more, she stabbed into his thrusts to take him all the way, breaking from his lips to cry out in sweet agony when girth and length washed everywhere inside her.
"Aaoohh…Jaaa…"
Sounds of her pleasure bathed his ears and stoked the need to please her more, guiding him to rest her ass at the very edge of the sink, where he held her knees wide and drove into her over and over and over, drowning her raptured cries with his tongue, soon breaking from lips to nip at her chin when his own pleasure tore from his groin to send wicked sensations spiraling to his brain. Needing to claim all - every inch of her - he moved with a fever that sent his throbbing rod in and out of her sweet, juicy pussy, fueled by the grip that held him so tight.
"You're mine, Sam! You're mine!" Jason had often found a caveman urge to claim her in their most intimate moments when the need to know she'd share this raw, unlatched passion with him and him alone - but never more than he did right now…the threat to this sacred place he'd found in her heart, in her arms, in her bed…he would kill before he ever shared her with another. The fever burned his brain, escalating to send him firing long strokes into her, branding himself at the very center where she lived, the need to possess every part of her feeling parallel and sacrament to the air he needed to live. "You're mine!"
An uncontrollable tremor reared and burst Sam wide open, molten lava that built in the bottom of her belly suddenly boiling over to send her spasming against his thrusts, the buildup shattering into a million pieces when he slammed the explosion all through her.
"Aaahhh….aahhh…aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
When his own release synced with hers, he lulled her in the sweet storm that slowly abated and she whimpered down limply, where he swooped her up again, moving them to the bedroom to lay gently in the middle of the bed with her still wrapped around his middle. Stroking his face where he joined her on the pillow, she gave him the reassurance her brain had been too fevered to, minutes before.
"Who else's could I ever be?"
But Jason knew he'd been the idiot who almost let her go more than once…and with this new threat in town, "Don't leave me, Sam."
"What are you talking about? We take care of each other, Jason - we always have."
"I haven't always taken care of you when I should have. I allowed other people to hurt you…" His voice trailed into a pained whisper, "…I hurt you."
"We've covered this…we hurt each other, and we've both learned not to let it happen again. Isn't that what's important?"
His eyes bore through, pulling her into their tortured depths. "It was just all so unnecessary, Sam. I could probably forgive if it was just me…but I'll never forgive that she hurt you too…and I helped her. I'm so sorry."
"You've said that. You couldn't know she'd lie about something that important."
"That's no excuse. I spent my life learning to tell when people were lying - it's a skill that kept me alive for a long time. I should've seen it. I should've known what she was doing."
The haunted look plagued eyes not long before filled only with desire. "How? You've been friends for years, and she's someone you've always been able to trust. I saw almost immediately that you cared alot about her, and it's one of the things I've always respected about you, Jason - you're loyal to your friends. She was one of them, long before I came along, so I got it. Of course you wouldn't expect that kind of betrayal!"
"You and Carly did. You never trusted her."
"That's different…Carly and I never invested anything in her…we had no reason to trust her. Still, I never suspected her of lying - not about that. About being just your friend - yes - Carly opened my eyes a long time ago to the fact that she wanted a helluva lot more than that with you and was just waiting for the chance to take it..but I never thought she lied about Jake. And I didn't care about her like you do."
"Did."
"If you say so."
"You don't believe me?"
"If you say it, I believe it."
He knew she wasn't convinced and something deep in him needed her to be. "Sam, she hurt you! On purpose! I always thought Jake happened because he was supposed to, and that you can't change things, so it was pointless to wish they were different…that you just had to roll with whatever cards life dealt and make the best of them. I never expected her to be the mother of my child - you know that, but it happened that way so I went along. But it was all false! It wasn't natural or fated, and it certainly isn't anything like it is with you."
"Really?" When the skepticism dripped sarcastically from her words, Sam sighed, "Honestly, Jason, you don't realize how you've always treated her - like she's made out of glass and everybody else is teflon. You've always protected her, even though she's done horrible shit too. Don't see why that would change now."
He was silent for a moment as he allowed her words to sink in, the shame that clothed them opening his eyes even more to her hurt. This remarkable woman has had to endure so much just to love him and she didn't even know how he truly saw her. "You've always been strong, Sam…I don't know where you keep it all but you have a power in you that she'll never have, and you've never needed me to reach it - I knew that from the beginning. Look at everything you survived before me and since? She would've never survived your life. Not many would…but you did!"
"She's not as fragile as you think either. She just never let you see the ugly side of her. You always think she's such an angel."
"She's no angel, I know that. If anything, I thought I needed to be that strength that she could count on because I owed her for saving my life and she's often been good to me."
"Like I said, you trusted her."
His eyes searched hers where her head rested next to him, drinking in the effortless beauty with the soul of an Amazon. "I trust you a helluva lot more."
"So now because she's disappointed you in the worse way, you've come to these wondrous revelations? Do you realize how much time we spend on the subject of her? When did she become so paramount in our lives? Why did we let her?"
"You mean why did I? No, you're right - it was me." He rolled onto his back and stared blankly at the ceiling, regrets eating him up inside. "It was Jake. I thought he would be a lifetime bond between us. Kids usually are."
"It wasn't always Jake. When you found out who you were, you stayed with her. You chose her..that was you."
Vehemently shaking his head, Jason rolled back to face her, needing to make sure she understood, "It wasn't her - not the way you think."
It was Sam's turn to roll to her back in exasperation. "We both know that you loved her, so don't deny it now because she made you feel stupid for doing it."
"I loved her when I didn't know us - I admit that. But I told you, Sam…I stayed for those boys. They needed me - Jake most of all. He'd been through hell…ripped from his life for years then dropped back into it and expected to pick up where he left off. He'd just learned to start trusting in us as a family and I never thought I would wake up one day and not be his biological father."
"Me neither." She softened, relenting to the empathy washing over her. "I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling."
"I know. I'm sorry too."
"You don't have to keep apologizing to me."
Using gentle fingers, he deftly urged her chin so she would face him again, needing his words to connect where they hadn't seemed to earlier, "I can't promise you that. I'll be sorry 'til the day I die for the way I hurt you, and I'll look for ways to make it up 'til my last breath."
Sighing, Sam allowed years of strain to expel on the exhaled breath. "I don't need that, Jason. I don't need you to promise me a life of servitude for things we already forgave. For one, it will never be necessary between us, and two - she's definitely not worth all that."
"It's not about her. Nothing that happens between you and me is ever about her - never has been and never will be. It's about how much I love you unlike anything I've ever experienced or knew existed, and how much I need for you to know it! I don't have a life if you're not in it, Sam, and the fact that I almost let you get away again sickens me to my stomach! I can't lose you and Danny!"
"Our son and I are't going anywhere without you!"
Her soft words were a balm his heart desperately needed. He could face anything that came their way…anything…except losing Sam again.
"I might need you to keep telling me that."
"I'll be happy to - whenever you want."
"We've been talking alot about the past…can we start making some plans for the future?"
Her heart skipped a beat at his soft suggestion, making Sam aware that she wanted that too. "What about it?"
Inching across the pillow, he kissed her lips gently, lingeringly taking his time to treasure their softness, teasing top, bottom, then top again, back to bottom, touching the tip of his tongue to hers, before pulling his face back to see her eyes reopen slowly, dreamily awash with the same dazed feelings ruling his own head. "I love you. I've wasted alot of time that we'll never get back and I don't want to add one more minute to that count. I don't want to pressure you before you're ready but I want you to know that I'm there, Sam. I'm ready for forever…whenever you are."
She looked over his shoulder at the grey streaming in, weighing his words by the racing set off in her pulse and the airiness wafting her head, and she knew she wasn't ready for that discussion. He was going through an emotional upheaval - it was not the time to make lifelong decisions. "It'll be daylight soon."
"Do you want me to leave?" He relaxed when she shook her head no, noticing her skilled diversion from the subject he'd raised. She wasn't ready. She probably thought he wasn't ready either but she couldn't be more wrong. He'd wanted to have that discussion since their magical New Year's reconnection, but knew better than to spook her that soon. He could wait a while longer. He could wait forever…for her!
"This could get me kicked out, but whatever happened to not wanting to confuse Danny by letting me spend the night?"
Relieved he wasn't going to press the issue, Sam smiled at his question that followed her lead. "I don't know…it seemed silly after I saw how much he loves having you here. Don't think I don't notice that he'll walk right by me to head straight for your arms."
"He does? That's my boy!" The smirk grew slowly. "Are you jealous?"
Her finger traced their way across his lips and tingled at the soft peck he planted against them, "I would be, if he hadn't lost so much time with you. It's like he's making it up…and I totally get it." Her voice was rued with wonder and appreciation, "I know firsthand what he was missing out on, not having you here."
"I'll never not regret that, Sam…my son's firsts…all of them - lost to me."
"Not all. You'll be here for the others, like his first crush, his first dance, high school, his first muscle car - cause you can see he's already fearless…" She smiled and pinched his bare chest playfully, "…there's still so much to look forward to with our baby." She raised herself on an elbow, "Besides, you have the video of his first steps and his first day at preschool. Not the exact same as being there, but they're still pretty special."
His hand lifted to caress her cheek as he studied her beautiful smile lighting already sparkling brown eyes thoughtfully, loving her more than they made words to express. "You're pretty damn special!"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
He couldn't sleep. When the walls of the motel room started closing in, he gave up trying and made his way to the docks, the coolness of the morning being his only companion on the predawn streets of the still sleeping town. Thoughts of his wife plagued him constantly…the things about her that he missed more than anything, longed for achingly, that she was right that minute sharing with another man. That she would not believe it was him had not even occurred to him before it happened, and being without her now, in a place that was supposed to feel like his return home but that remained elusive, was killing him inside.
He walked the docks, nodding occasionally in passing to workers at their trade, beating his mind to find a solution that would get him back home. He needed to prove himself to her, but how? There was no gesture, there were no words it seemed that would break the brazen barrier standing between them in the form of someone who looked nothing like him - except for eyes and hair that could easily be manufactured. That he had obviously fooled them all so completely was unbelievably painful to behold.
At least Sonny hadn't completely turned him away. He knew there were still doubts there but he at least seemed willing to stay open to the possibility he was who he said he was. He needed something that would convince them all finally, but what?
Hours passed and the sky lightened into day, bringing with it a form he hadn't seen in years and welcome to the sore eyes of a friend. She alighted from the launch and he remembered years of friendship that could've once been more…but for his sweet Sam. Awed and pleased at the sight of her, he stood his ground to await her passing near.
Elizabeth was on her way to her seven a.m. shift at the hospital. Having lost everything else in her life, her job was the one thing she could still call her own and she'd make an effort to keep it, despite wanting to bury herself in bed for the rest of her days. Keeping to her familiar route from Spoon Island, she turned for the stairs to head up the docks, but was stopped by a familiar voice that set her heart racing.
"Elizabeth!"
Her face breaking into a smile at the friendly sound of her name upon his lips, she looked to the man who'd obviously forgiven her from the sound of it, freezing in place when her eyes met a face her mind was obviously disjointing.
"Elizabeth…hi!" When her mouth fell open and no sound came from her he realized how he'd shocked her, two seconds before her eyes rolled in her head and her body heaped towards the ground. Racing to grab her before she hit, he swung her into his arms and seated her on the nearby bench. "Elizabeth, are you okay?"
When there was no response, he swung her into his arms again and took the dock steps two at a time. He'd completely forgotten how his sudden appearance would affect some people.
She awoke at the hospital with Amy passing something beneath her nose that she pushed away groggily and tried to sit up.
"Easy, there - not so fast, you'll faint again!"
"Faint?" She wrinkled her forehead in thought. "I fainted?"
"Yes - your friend brought you in."
"What friend?" Then she remembered the face that had sent her falling! "Jason!" Hastily raising herself into a sitting position to get up, she grabbed onto Amy to steady the wooziness. "Where is he? I really saw him?"
"Take it easy, will you? He's in the waiting area - why? What's the big deal with this guy?"
"I'm guessing it's the way he looks?" Patrick Drake walked into the cubicle and took the iPad from Amy, who allowed Elizabeth to stand holding onto her for support.
"Patrick! You saw him? I really saw…"
"A guy with Jason Morgan's old face? Yes, you did. Just what this town needs - one more of him!"
"Patrick - who is he?" She was staring desperately at the surgeon who was still studying the iPad in his hands.
"I don't know and I don't care. He's probably the real deal and the murdering punk you all are still fighting over after all these years. Which means you all were duped by an imposter, and my fiancé most of all, because she threw our life away for nothing!"
"I have to see him!" Letting go of Amy unsteadily, Elizabeth straightened up to slowly make her way from the room, ignoring the surgeon's bitter diatribe as she went in search of her miracle, whom she found slowly pacing the corridor near the nurses station. When he turned and their eyes locked, she thought she'd faint again, but managed to hold it off this time.
"Jason?"
Drawing closer quickly, he held his arm out to offer support.
"Elizabeth - are you okay?" Guiding her to the nearby chairs, he helped ease her down gently. "Easy."
"Jason…is it really you?"
Thank goodness! One person knew him on sight! One person was finally in his corner!
"Yes." He sat in the chair next to her, taking the hand that reached towards his face. "Yes, it's me."
"But…but how? You're already here?"
He shook his head, never leaving her eyes. "No. I don't know who that guy is or how he managed to fool everybody, but he's certainly not me." When she touched his face he allowed her fingers to linger as he reveled in the eyes of a friend.
"Oh, thank God! I should've known! Jason, you would never turn your back on me like that…I should've known that he wasn't you!"
"Of course I would never turn my back on you." He had no idea what she was talking about but he knew he could never find a single fault with Elizabeth Webber. If not for his undying love for Sam, he could have settled for a life with her once. As it was, she was a close friend he'd always look out for.
Gasping between sobs, she grinned and palmed his face between her hands. "Jason! You came back to me!" Then she threw her arms around his neck to hug him tightly. "You came back!"
