Chapter 9- Lost Hope
56 Days After the National Outbreak
EPOV:
All my hope seems to fade away as time ticks by. I thought we would find her sooner. The logical part of me understands it hasn't truly been that long; however, in this new world, one day feels like many. Every day feels impossibly long under the blistering hot sun, with nothing but the endless road ahead. Bella makes things better; she accepts me, despite my moodiness lately. I haven't been the easiest man to be around, but she's so focused on the end goal, I doubt she really notices or cares.
"Fuck," I hear her murmur as she trips over her own foot.
She crouches down, cringing in pain as she yanks off her right shoe. My eyes scan the area and when I find no immediate threats, I bend down, too. Her ankle is swelling. I wonder how long it's been like this. If she's been uncomfortable during our trek, she hasn't uttered a word about it. Suddenly, I feel guilty. I should have been looking out for her well-being instead of constantly looking ahead.
"Bella, are you all right? When did you hurt your ankle?"
Her lips pull down in a slight frown as she refuses to meet my gaze. "I hurt it a few days ago… but I didn't think it was so bad at the time. I guess I was wrong."
"Why didn't you say anything?" I ask, exasperated. I gently press my fingers against her ankle. She squirms and my irritation grows. Why didn't she tell me? "This isn't the time or place to be injured. If you needed a break, you should've said something. Now, you may have made it all worse."
"I thought I could keep going," she practically barks back, swiping my hand away from her injury. "I didn't want to delay us any further. We've already stopped so many times. The camp can't be too much further."
I roll my eyes, standing up and sliding off my backpack. I picked up an ace wrap when we were in the city, hoping I wouldn't have to use it anytime soon. Little did I know, my traveling companion has a terrible habit of tripping over her own two feet. I don't say anything, though. She's such a trooper - so strong and fearless as we move forward in our journey. Hell, I think she's much braver than I am. However, she's also filled with pride. And I'm sure her pride is one of the reasons she stayed silent about her injury. She doesn't want to appear weak; I understand and get that. Although we've grown close - closer than I ever could have imagined - she still believes I could take advantage of her, overpower her if I wanted to. Of course, I never would. Even if we were in dire straits, I couldn't imagine harming her.
"We have to stop for a while. You have to rest. If you carry on like this, your small injury could turn into a big one."
Bella looks up at me, her eyes now widening with fear. She attempts to rise from her squatting position but immediately cringes before deciding on staying near the ground. Reaching down, I gently help her to her feet, knowing we have to call it a day and setup camp. It's still early in the afternoon; the sun is shining brightly in the sky, burning my skin. As much as I want to keep walking, I know that would be unethical. She needs to rest. I can't push her until she breaks. I know if I don't demand we set up camp, Bella would never suggest it or even want to do it. Knowing that almost makes me like her more. I'm proud of her, in a way. She's strong. She would give any zombie or hell, any man for that matter, a run for their money. Although she puts on a good front, I know the faith she once had in herself is fading. While that saddens me, I know it's going to be all right because I believe in her.
She licks her chapped lips and tilts her head up toward the sun, closing her eyes and basking in its warmth. I watch her, enjoying the way the sun reflects against her dark brown hair, causing it to exhibit a tint of red. It's beautiful; she's beautiful - a beautiful person. Whoever this Seth is, he's a very lucky man. I hope she gets back to him. She deserves her happy ending, too. If we never find Kate, which I pray to God doesn't happen, I'll still want to help Bella get back to Seth.
"I think it's time we break and set up camp for the night."
Her eyes snap open and she looks at me incredulously. "I'm fine," she nearly snaps. "If I rest for a moment, I'll be able to walk on it just fine."
"I don't think so. We're stopping."
Her eyes widen before they meet mine and narrow, her pert nose scrunching up in distaste. "I don't want to stop. I want to keep going."
"Well, that's too bad because you're done for the day."
"Who are you, my father? You can't order me around."
"I'm trying to help you, Bella. How much longer do you think you'll last with your ankle like that? What if you overexert yourself and then we're faced with another attack? What then?" I try to reason with her.
"What about…?"
"I doubt stopping now is going to make much of a difference in finding Kate. Wherever she is, I'm sure she's safe."
"Do you truly believe that?" Bella quietly asks. "You truly believe she's all right."
"I hope." I watch her as she stumbles for a moment, but manages to stand back up. "She's definitely not as strong as you." The comment leaves my lips before I really think about it, but it's definitely true. While I love Kate more than anything, she always waited for someone to save her, whereas Bella's different - Bella just stands up and saves herself. The woman before me now doesn't stand idly by, waiting for her knight in shining armor to come save her. Her independence is another thing I like about her; I don't have to really worry about whether Bella will be all right. If anything, the only thing I have to worry about is her pride being her downfall.
"I'm not that strong," Bella nearly whispers as she begins to limp off toward the direction we were originally headed.
"Stop. Let's walk toward that clearing over there and find a place to set up camp."
"You really want to stop for the day?" she questions.
While her voice is harsh, I detect a note of gratitude.
"Yes. Come on, I need to rest, too. Since that last car ran out of gas, we've been walking non-stop and I'm exhausted. So, if it makes you feel better, you can use my old age as a reason to stop."
She smirks at this. "You're not old."
"I'll be thirty-four next month. I feel ancient."
"I guess that's practically the end of your life considering the new circumstances. Thirty is the new eighty," she teases, giving me a genuine smile.
While her look of contentment is brief, it still has the power to take my breath away for a moment. When she's happy like this, she's captivating. I'm sure she could win the attention of an entire room with a smile like that. Her smile brings me such an inner peace. When she smiles like that, I forget about everything else and for a moment, I truly believe everything will be okay.
"What?" she asks, cocking her brow at me.
It's then I realize I've been gawking at her. "Nothing. It's just different seeing you happy."
Her eyes sober and I instantly regret my comment. Her lips pulling down in a frown, she answers, "I used
to be happy all the time. Before all this, I felt like all I did was smile."
"You'll get back to that, Bella."
"You rarely smile, too."
"I'm just worried about Kate."
"I know. You say her name in your sleep, you know?"
"Do I?"
"All the time," she confirms. "It's sweet."
"I guess my subconscious mind is even more worried for her than my conscious mind allows."
"And you really want to rest? What if today was the day we'd end up finding her?"
"Worrying about that can wait until tomorrow. What we need to focus on now, is you."
A/N: I am so, so, so glad you guys are liking my project! NaNoWriMo is intense… but totally fun! I'm going out of town for a concert tomorrow, so I'm going to try to update twice tonight! **Crosses Fingers**
Love you all! Please, please keep reviewing! (I love reading them even though I totally suck at replying. I just figure you guys would rather I focus on writing.)
