Chapter 15 - Nightmares
3 Days Since the National Outbreak
BPOV:
"A virus spreads through the nation, sending hundreds of people to the hospital to be quarantined. Our field reporter, April Clark, is at UNMH to tell us more. April?"
"Yes, Angela, I'm standing outside of UNMH, and after speaking with hospital officials it seems that in the past few days many have been hospitalized for flu like symptoms; although the exact virus, is still unknown."
"Mommy, my arm still itches."
Tearing my eyes away from the television, I look at my son, who still, despite all the over-the-counter creams I applied, has an odd rash. He's had it for an hour or so, and my mind doesn't want to begin to consider what it could mean. It looks like the hand, foot, and mouth disease he had as a baby, but itches like his skin is infested with chiggers. Ignoring the rash, I pull him into my arms and he immediately nestles up comfortably in my lap. I kiss his forehead, noting the warmth against my lips. My entire body freezes, stiffening against the small body of my five-year-old son. No… it's not possible. Since the news broke, we've been so careful. He's burning up in my arms. Pulling back to look at his face, which is still covered in a layer of baby fat, he's flushed and sweat gathers above his browline. Watching him, I remind myself of the symptoms of the virus in my head. It starts with a rash and a sore throat, then the sweats begin and a fever… Closing my eyes, I remember the horrors. Decaying flesh, insatiable appetite, loss of vision, a phenomenal heightened sense of hearing and smell, loss of brain function…
I know there's more to what they're choosing to disclose to us on the news. They don't want to scare the public, I understand that, but we have a right to know the truth. We have the right to know, so we understand how to fight this. All they are divulging to the public, which I'm sure is only a fraction of what they know, is that the virus is contracted through bodily fluids. Which is puzzling because I was certain a virus like this had to be airborne, considering the amount of people who've been affected. We haven't seen any cases at the hospital I work at, which has given me a false sense of security. It all seemed like a twisted nightmare and never felt like reality… until now. When something doesn't touch you personally, it's hard to truly understand it. We all feel invincible, until our time comes.
"Sweetheart, does anything hurt?" I timidly ask, almost not wanting to know the truth as I feel around his body for some sort of defect or indication that he's been harmed.
"My leg, Mommy. It keeps burning me."
"It feels hot?" Why didn't he say something earlier? "Has it been hurting for a while?"
"No long, Mommy."
"Let Mommy pull your sweatpants down and see, okay? Is it okay if I look?"
He seems hesitant for a moment, but consents. I gently pull down his sweats and find red, blistering, irritated skin. Horror blooms inside me as my eyes travel from his Avengers underwear to the teeth marks on his upper right thigh. What the hell could have done this?! When did it happen? A shaky breath escapes my mouth. I can't allow him to see how horrified I am. Most of his emotions still mirror mine and if he sees my fear, he'll be fearful, too. Instead, I pretend nothing's wrong. I feel him growing worse in my arms. We can play make-believe, can't we? Just for a little while?
"Have I told you how much I love you today, Seth?"
Despite the obvious pain in his body, he giggles at this, grinning up at me. "Yeah, Mommy. Five times," he replies, holding up five little fingers. "Silly, Mommy."
"Mommy is silly, isn't she? Well, I guess I'll have to tell you again. I love you so much, Seth. Do you know how much?"
He knows. I've said it to him thousands of times, but still, he plays along.
Shaking his head, he asks, "How much?"
"I love you, Seth. I love you all the way to the moon and back!"
He throws his head back and giggles, but when he looks back at me I notice his eyes are beginning to grow cloudy. Tears fill my eyes, and I pick him up, quickly crossing the room to get to my phone. We only have one car, and Jake is using it today for work, leaving me with no method of taking him to the hospital. I know my neighbors won't want to risk taking him, so I dial for emergency services. I'm immediately put on hold.
Seth must since my fear because he's growing agitated in my embrace.
"How much do you love Mommy, Seth?"
He squints at me, as if he can barely see me, and answers, "Moon and back, Mommy."
I'm still on hold. Tears fill my eyes as I look at my little boy, who is quickly fading away. Just this morning he was fine. Just this morning I gave him a bath and watched him play in the mountains of bubbles. Just this morning I dressed him and read him his favorite stories. When could this have happened? The only time he was out of my sight was when he played in our fenced in backyard while I prepared lunch. But that was only for about thirty minutes and I'd been keeping an eye on him through the kitchen window. Before I know it, I'm moving toward the sliding glass doors which lead to our backyard. I peer outside, talking to Seth mindlessly as I look for anything out of the ordinary. Anything which could have hurt my little boy. That's when I see it… It's body is small, but I can still make it out from where I stand. It's a little boy… or was a little boy. Now, it looks like something out of a horror movie. I gasp, tears beginning to fall from my eyes as I think of my little boy trying to play with that thing. Seth probably thought he was lonely; he probably thought that, that thing needed a friend. My little boy has always been so thoughtful, never wanting to see anyone upset.
"What wrong, Mommy?"
When I look back down at him, I wonder if he can even see me, his eyes are so incredibly clouded. My eyes shoot to the clock. It's just after eleven o'clock in the afternoon; Jake should be home from work in forty-five minutes for his lunch break. If I can't get an ambulance here by then, he'll be able to take our baby to the hospital.
"Nothing's wrong, buddy. Why don't we read a book while we wait for daddy to come home?"
He nods. While he's still Seth, he's not as energetic as he was just an hour before. Usually when I mention reading a book to him, he's bouncing with excitement, but now, he's as still as a corpse in my arms. I pretend he was the same boy he was yesterday as I carry him to his room. I settle in the rocking chair we've had since he was a baby and rest him gently on my lap before reaching for his favorite book: Where the Wild Things Are.
"Want to read your favorite book, buddy?"
He doesn't respond, he's completely still in my arms. With the sound of "hold" music playing on my cell phone being the only sound in the quiet room, I begin to read.
"The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another…"
I watch him as I read, looking for any sign of my boy still being in there. Of course, there's none. He sits quietly on my lap, nodding in and out of consciousness. I look at my phone, aggravated that I'm still on hold. Although, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. The whole world is falling apart and I honestly believed I would receive some sort of help. No one's here to help us. That's clear now. Perhaps the emergency services have already given up… I look back to the clock, realizing Jake's arrival is my only chance - our only chance. After seeing that thing in my backyard, I don't know what else is out there. I don't want to imagine what's out there.
"And into the night of his very own room, where he found his supper waiting for him."
My little boy is no longer moving. He hasn't been for a while. I can feel him breathing, though. I feel the slight rise and fall of his chest against my torso. Bending down, I kiss his forehead, wondering if he can feel it. He must because he looks up at me, with eyes which are no longer his own. These aren't the eyes of my little boy. Is he even in there anymore?
"Did you like that, sweetheart?"
No answer. I look at the clock. Jake should be home in about fifteen minutes.
"Time for one more and then Daddy's going to be home."
Picking up another one of his favorites, I begin to read. He's so still in my arms, I almost forget he's there. When the sound of the obnoxious "hold" music becomes too much, I turn the phone off, realizing no one's coming to help us. Jake will be home soon. Jake will come home, I keep telling myself over and over as I read to my little boy. I can't tell if he's listening, but his eyes are on the page. But can he see anymore? I don't want to accept this. I can't accept this. Jake will be home soon. Jake will be home soon.
I hear the front door open as I finish the final page of our storybook. Tossing the book on the ground, I rise with Seth comfortably in my arms, bounding down the hallway to find my husband. Seth is limp and as I carry him, I wonder what Jake will say upon seeing him. When he left this morning, he said good-bye to his normal, happy little boy. And now… God, now he's practically unrecognizable. His appearance may be different, but I love him just as I did. Just as I always will.
"Let's go say hi to Daddy, buddy."
"Bells? Bella, did you see the news. We were watching it at work and they think-"
He stops speaking as soon as he sees us.
"Seth's sick. We have to get him to a hospital."
"What in the fucking hell. Bella… why didn't you call me earlier?"
Tears fall from my eyes. "I… didn't… think… It all happened so quickly! I don't know what's happening!" I sob. "Make it stop, Jake! Please, I just want it to stop."
As I breakdown, Jake reaches for Seth, taking him out of my arms and looking at him - really looking at him for the first time. I watch through my tear filled eyes as my husband breaks down, too. Seth has no reaction. Not that I expected one from him.
"Bella, I don't know what to do. Did you watch the news today? There's a bunch of these special units at the hospitals. They're military, doing God knows what and everyone who's being admitted is either being quarantined or killed, or both. They're running these tests on people, trying to find a cure, but no one's surviving them." He studies me for a moment, wiping away the few tears that had escaped his eyes, before continuing, "We're on our own, Bella. We have to stay safe - for Seth. We'll bide our time until they find a way to fix this. They always do."
He's so optimistic. I'm not sure if I feel the same way. Sure, they may find a cure… but they might not.
"We have to save him, Bella."
"So, he's… he's one of them?"
"What do you think? Does he look all right to you?" He pauses for a moment, shifting Seth so he's comfortably resting on his hip. "I'm sorry. It's just…"
"I understand. Say no more. We'll find a-"
That's when it happens. Slowly, and then all at once. Seth becomes animated in his father's arms, finally seeming aware. He begins to grind his jaw. I can hear the bones in his face creak under the pressure he's putting on them. His jawbone nearly dislocates as it moves, unsettling me from my stance a few feet away. Jake doesn't notice at first, not even considering that his son would harm him. But he does. With one snap of his jaw, Seth bites into my husband's neck.
"Jake!" I scream, reaching for Seth and pulling him away from his father.
Jake falls to the ground, covering his spewing wound with his right hand as he leans against the hallway wall. Not knowing what else to do, I take Seth into the kitchen. He snaps in my direction as I walk toward our cupboard, rifling through it to find something to tie him down. I finally find some rope in a drawer near the trash can, thankful that I had once been so obsessed with crafting that I went out and purchased supplies for every craft I wanted to create.
"It's okay, sweetheart," I say in a calming tone as I take him toward the kitchen table with the rope in hand. "Everything will all be okay, soon. Mommy promises."
He continues with his attempts to bite me and I'm mindful of them as I tie him to the chair. With tears in my eyes, I wrap the rope around the life I brought into this world… the person I love more than my own life. How could I live with myself if I let this be his end? How could someone so beautiful, die so horribly? This can't be death… this can't be! It's just a virus. Everyone has said that it's just a virus. A virus that's now been passed on to Jake, too…
"Mommy loves you, baby," I whisper as I finish tying the knot.
I leave his side to find Jake and to my horror, he's already experiencing the side effects of the bite. Curled up on the ground, he's shaking, the fever already beginning. I help him off the ground, trying desperately to avoid his blood as I usher him to the kitchen, too.
"You'll have to stay here, Jake. I'll find a way to help, but you have to stay here first, okay? I just have to take some precautions."
"Do it, Bells. Before anything happens."
He takes a seat at the kitchen table as I grab more rope. With tears in my eyes, I return, wanting to smack myself so I'll wake-up and find this was all one horrible dream. But it isn't. This horrifyingly fantastical world is our realty now.
"I don't want to leave you," I whisper, mostly to myself, as I wrap the rope around his body.
"You have to! Go get help, Bella. There must be something that can be done."
"I will," I promise as I knot the rope tightly around his torso and the chair. I look at him for a moment, memorizing every single one of his features. I'll see him again, one way or another, I will. But, I want something to carry with me in my mind. I want to remember his loving eyes and warm face. I want to remember him, now, and not what he'll become when the virus takes its toll. I want to remember my husband, just like I want to remember my son. Leaning forward, I press my lips against his, kissing him like I'll never have the chance to do so again.
"I love you, Jake. Forever."
I hear something scratching against our sliding glass doors and pull away from my husband. Jake's eyes widen in terror and as I begin to turn my head, he grabs it, stopping me from seeing whatever's out there. He kisses me with as much passion as his body can muster. I know it's not safe… but I can't help it. If my family has become this, I want to become it, too. Stop it, Bella! You mustn't think that way! You have to save them. I pull away, although, I'm sure it's already too late.
"Lock yourself in the bedroom closet, baby. Lock yourself in and don't come out until they're gone."
"What about you?"
"We're too far gone. Baby, go!"
As I turn to move toward our bedroom, I see them and my heart nearly stops at the sight. So many of them… So many dead bodies reanimated and trying to get inside. I give my family one last look before I move toward the cupboard, locking myself in as soon as the sliding glass door breaks.
57 Days After the National Outbreak
EPOV:
"You don't have to come with me, Edward. I understand if you want-"
"There's nothing here for me. Not anymore."
"There's safety… there's shelter… If you come with me, I can't guarantee any of that!"
"So, what? I should just let you go out there and die alone? Besides, what the hell do I have here, Bella? Everything I thought I knew was a fucking lie! I just want to erase this from my mind… I just want a fresh start. Can't you give me that? A fresh start. Isn't that what I deserve. You deserve it, too. Whatever it is you're looking for in D.C., we'll find it together. I know you've said time and time again that you're looking for a cure but I know it's more than that. I know there's something you're not telling me."
"Edward…"
"It's fine, Bella. You don't have to tell me anything. I wouldn't pressure you like that. I'll go with you. I don't need to know why we're doing this. I'll do it for you, Bella."
She smiles at this, looking absolutely exhausted all of a sudden. "Thank you," she whispers.
"You're welcome. Now, we better get on the road soon. I'd like to get as far away from here as possible."
"Sounds good to me."
I stalk off, and she follows quickly behind. Something's weighing on her mind, I can feel it. "What is it?"
"Nothing. I'm just sorry that-"
"Look, let's just forget it happened, okay? It's old news to me already. There's so much wrong in this world. I should've known. I shouldn't have hoped."
"Sometimes hope is all we have left."
As much as I want to reply with a jaded comment, the morose tone to her voice keeps me silent. If she has hope in her heart, I will not take it from her. Right now, she's the only light I have.
A/N: Sorry I didn't update yesterday! I ended up going out with one of my friends for a drink last minute. So, I'm updating twice tonight before I go out! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know it was a pretty sad one. Please keep reviewing! You all have been so amazing with reviews. Sorry I so bad at replying to them. I do read and appreciate them all!
