Chapter 17- Discovering the Truth

60 Days After the National Outbreak

BPOV:

"What if we can't get inside?" he murmurs at my side, gazing up at the thick glass windows before us.

"We'll find a way. We have to."

We didn't come this far, and face so much, to give up now. We're so close I can taste victory on my tongue. Someone inside has to see us. Someone inside must want to help us. My mind is quickly overwhelmed with images of my husband and son, waiting for my return. They need me. They don't deserve to die - I have to save them. If I don't have hope, what do I have? In a bleak world such as this, our attitude seems to be the only thing we can control. Everyday, I choose to get up and fight. Fight back against the world which has betrayed us all; fight back against the virus that has changed the lives of so many. Am I so wrong for believing my husband and son are still alive in their bodies somewhere? I'm sure if I looked deep enough into the cloudiness of their eyes, I would find their souls lurking there, waiting to be saved. No, I can't lose hope. Not now… not ever. Hope is all you have, Bella. It's all you need to get through this.

"We have to stay positive. There has to be a way."

Edward nods, but I can tell he isn't sure what to believe. Hell, underneath my own positive exterior, I'm lost, too. I've been lost for a very long time. If the bloodshed and killings hadn't been keeping my mind occupied, I don't know how dark my thoughts would be now. Ironic, I'm sure. Gore and violence kept me positive. Who would have imagined that? Gore, violence, and the man beside me. It's strange how quickly violence has become like a second nature - it's the only way to survive, after all. Isn't it?

"Maybe if we try to break in, someone will notice us," I continue, knowing this is the only plan I really have.

I had a million ideas in my mind, but now that we're here, standing in front of the building, and surrounded by nothing more than darkness, none of them seem possible anymore.

"Is that your Plan B, or was there a Plan A that I missed?"

I roll my eyes, frustrated with myself for believing this would be so easy. "Do you know a better way? I mean, look at this place, it's impenetrable… I have no idea what I was thinking," I say, defeated.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Frown like that. We didn't come this far for nothing. We're getting in. Let's just go ahead with your 'plan' and see where that takes us."

I nod, still feeling unsure.

"Stop that," Edward snaps, reaching to grab hold of my chin. Forcing me to meet his gaze he continues, "Remember who you're doing this for. Remember why this matters!"

He doesn't know everything - far from it - and still, he's willing to give up everything to try with me - for me… My eyes fill with tears as I look up at him, finding nothing but love, respect, and fierceness in his gaze. He wants this for me. He wants me to be happy, regardless of what it means for him. Guided by my heart, I raise to the tips of my toes and press my lips against his. They're soft, familiar, and just what I need. I breathe him in like his life force is my lifeline; the only thing keeping me sane. Keep me sane through this, my life. Keep me sane. My life? Has Edward become my life when I already have so much to live for? I don't know where my mind is - not anymore - but I know where my heart is, and it's with him. I don't forget about my family, I don't forget about Seth, but Edward's alive, truly alive, living and breathing before me. He's real in a world full of things that seem to have been born from a nightmare. He's the only thing that tethers me to reality. He's the one constant I can rely on.

"Let's do this," I murmur before pressing my lips to his once more.

His hands cup my face, his lips working me over until I can barely breathe. We don't know what lies ahead of us. If we're able to get beyond these doors, we could be met with anything. Hopefully, one of those things will be the answer. What is this virus? Is there any hope for an end? Is there anyway to bring our loved ones back, or is all hope truly lost? When he pulls away, I choke on my breath, fear filling my body. I shouldn't be afraid, fear won't change the outcome. Still… I can't help the agitation that engulfs me. Now that the answer is so close, I'm no longer sure I want it. How nice it was to be blissfully ignorant… Once I learn the truth, there's no going back to that state. I'll have to live with it.

I watch Edward as he rolls up his sleeves and reaches for his handguns. I do the same, knowing gunshots, even if they don't harm the building, will draw attention. I give Edward one more meaningful look before I begin to fire. One shot after the other hits the windows; one shot after the other causes little to no damage, the bullets merely bounce off the glass. My eyes search the building, looking for some sign of life. Looking for someone who would be willing to help us. I find nothing; there isn't a single movement inside this place. Has everyone left… does that mean there's truly nothing to hope for at all… ? There has to be someone! Anyone. I continue to shoot, one bullet hitting the glass after another. Garnishing no response, I move forward, shooting the front door hoping that some camera is watching me, and that someone is watching that camera. Edward approaches the door, too, shooting along with me. I can feel his gaze on the back of my head, I wonder if he's just shooting to appease me, while inside, he's waiting for me to give up. Stop thinking so negatively! You didn't come all this way to give up now! Keep firing!

I lower my guns, and he does, too. "Do you think everyone has left?" I ask, cringing at how small my voice sounds.

"There has to be somebody inside there. Keep firing."

"What if it's no use?"

"Keep firing, Bella. There has to be somebody. Someone will see us and let us in."

I nod, turning back to the door and with both guns raised, I shoot. It feels good to shoot. Everytime the bullets hit the glass, it's a strange sort of release for me. I feel alive when I fire my guns. I feel invincible, like nothing in this new world could ever hurt me. When I fire off my last round, I move to reload, wondering how many more bullets I would be willing to waste on this damned building. Maybe there's another way… Maybe if we could climb to the roof, we could get into the building from a roof access hatch.

"Do you have any rope in your backpack?"

I look back at Edward as his eyes widen before his gaze moves up the front of the building before us. It's a long shot, but it could be the only way. No one's responding to our gunfire, and if we want to get in, I don't know of any other another way. What we've been doing obviously isn't working. These windows are built to withstand a great deal of damage. I'm sure this whole building is… Truly, I don't know what I was thinking. I just listened to the radio, assuming someone would make it here before I did, and would already have a cure to this atrocity. However, it seems as though no one has made it here, and if they had, I'm guessing they had no luck getting past the doors before us. Or maybe the others realized this idea was useless.

As Edward fumbles through the supplies in his backpack, I move to stand near the window, peering in at what's lies beyond the tempered glass. The scene before me causes me to nearly faint. There are people inside… what looks like families all lined up against one of the walls. Tears prick my eyes as I take in the blood splattered everywhere. Whatever happened here… God, I don't even want to think about what could have happened here. It's too horrible. However, my mind still wanders on its own accord. Was this some sort of mass suicide? Did they find that there was no other way, and this was their best option. A shaky hand comes up to my mouth to stifle my screams. I sob into my palm, my eyes moving across the people before me. So many different ages, different ethnicities, all coming together to put an end to their own lives. There mustn't be anything to hope for. If there were, why on Earth would these people be sitting on the floor with bullet wounds to the heads? Why would a mother kill her own children if they felt there was any other way?

"Bella?" Edward asks, approaching me.

"Don't look!"

"What is it?"

Before I can stop him, he stands beside me. "Holy fuck," he murmurs. "Why would they do this?"

Just as I'm about to answer him, I see a movement in my peripheral. From inside the building, someone is coming toward us with a gun in hand. From his appearance, he's a doctor, but from the look on his face, he's someone I'm not sure we can trust. Did he do this? Was this a mass suicide, or something far, far worse? Edward sees him too and stiffens at my side. He reloads his guns as I continue to watch the man coming toward us, my guns already loaded. I raise them when the man reaches for the controls by the door. He's letting us in, but with the horrors inside still at the forefront of my mind, I know going past these doors is no longer something I want.

As soon as the door is opened, the man raises his gun. All of a sudden, he looks more frightened than threatening. With pale skin, sunken blue eyes, and dark, unwashed hair, I wonder when was the last time this man saw daylight, tasted the fresh air. He looks so disheveled, so helpless. Looking at him now, I know he didn't kill those people. I can't be sure, but my gut instinct about this man isn't negative. He doesn't raise any alarm bells in my body. He looks like a victim… he looks like us.

"We don't need anymore visitors," he says to us, his voice monotone. "They've done enough damage to this place. There's nothing to see here."

"Please," I beg, lowering my weapons and stepping toward the man. "We've come all this way. We all heard you were working on a cure. It's been months. You must know something by now."

"We know as little now as we did when we first started researching."

"Is there someone else I can talk to? Someone who might have more information-"

"There's only me." He trembles as he looks at us. "Everyone has either left, or died here. There's only me."

"Please, there must be something you can tell us…"

"Do you see that group?" he asks, gesturing his gun to the scene I don't have the stomach to look at twice. "They came for the same reason you did. Someone amongst their group had the virus. They came seeking shelter and answers and I showed them… I showed them everything we'd learned and everything we knew. That's the fate they decided for themselves: death. They thought death would be the easier way out. They killed the young child who had the virus, then they killed each other. I didn't have the heart to stop them because I knew that deep down, they were making the right choice. There's nothing good in this world anymore. There is no known cure for this virus. Some of my colleagues left to go spend the time they had left with their families, some died here. I stayed. I was the only one with any hope in my heart, but not anymore. You can take my word for it and get out of here, or you can come inside. But if you come inside, I can't let you leave again. There's no exit once you cross this threshold. If this is what you want, this is the end of the road for you."

My feet move backwards, away from him and away from this place. We've come seeking answers and we've found none. Well, you found answers, Bella, just not the answers you longed to hear. There's no hope for my family, that much is clear now. And there's no hope for me if I go in there. Tears well in my eyes as I realize this fight of mine, and all the killings and all the bloodshed was for absolutely nothing. I was foolish to believe there would be any hope. I was foolish to come here thinking there was someway I could save my family. I was foolish for doing any of this.

"Is there anything you can tell us about the virus?" I mumble, my voice weak and pathetic. "Anything at all?"

He frowns at me, tired eyes filled with sympathy. "The virus isn't airborne. That's all we know. You have to be bitten to contract the virus. At least, that was how it was contracted in the cases we've studied. But I suppose any skin to skin contact could possibly contract it, as well." He looks over my shoulder, eyes widening as he takes in the hoard of zombies I hear coming toward us. "Look, are you coming in or not? I have to shut these doors."

"No. You've told us all we needed to know."

He nods, looking at us both with remorseful eyes. "Safe journeys," he comments before pulling the door shut.

"That's it then?" I question, turning to my companion. "After all that, that's it… I just can't believe it. We've wasted so much time."

"You got your answers."

"They weren't what I wanted. Edward… I wanted him to tell me this would all be okay. I wanted him to tell me there was a way to get my family back. But now… now I have nothing."

"You have me."

"I know," I reply, walking back to him and staring off into the distance at the zombies I know will soon surround us. "I shouldn't have hoped. Not in this world. In this world, there's nothing to hope for. Seth… I told my little boy I'd find a way to bring him back. Edward, there is no way. There's nothing I can do. I'm his mother - I'm supposed to be able to protect him from everything and I failed at doing that. I couldn't protect him. You should have seen his face. He was my little boy one second and the next, he wasn't. He barely recognized me when I said good-bye. Neither did Jake."

"Jake?"

"My husband. Seth bit him… they're both gone."

He comes to me and wraps his strong arms around my body. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"I wish sorrow could bring them back. God, I miss them. I wish-" I stop as a sob tears through my body. "I wish it could have been me. I would take their place without a second thought. I wish I was the one tied up right now. I wish I was the one without a future. Seth… Seth had his whole life ahead of him. He was so young, but he had so much talent. He was so smart, too, Edward. God, you would have loved him. He was the smartest little boy I'd ever met and he was all mine. I can't believe I brought someone as good and wonderful as him into this world."

"I do love him, Bella. I love him because he's yours. You are a great mother. Never doubt that."

"But I let him down."

"No, you didn't. You came all this way for him. He would have been proud of you. He is proud of you. He and your husband. You loved them in a way so many people deserve to be loved, but never are."

I stare up at him, his eyes blazing with passion, lighting up the night sky. I love him. It's soon, but I know it's the truth. I can feel it with every ounce of my being. I've lost so much, but gained so much, too. As the zombies grow nearer, I wonder where we'll go from here. I have to say my final good-byes to my family, which means going back. I have to put an end to their suffering. I just want to hold Seth one last time. I want to tell them both how much I love them and how much I'll always love them. Until my last breath, I'll hold them in my heart.

"I want to go back to them, Edward. I want to say good-bye."

"Then we will. I'll come with you." Tightening me in his embrace, he adds, "I'll be with you until the end."

Looking at the zombies closing in on us, I comment, "And the end is not tonight."

** A New Dawn**

I fight with every fiber of my being. I fight until I can feel no more pain. I'm numb by the time the sun begins to rise and the final few zombies meet their end with the blade of my knife. I wipe away my tears, moving to stand at Edward's side. We're both covered in blood, staring at the aftermath of what we've done together. His hand reaches down to encompass mine, our fingers intertwined as we stare at the rising sun.

"Should we get going?" he asks, peering over his shoulder, staring back at our car.

"Let's rest a bit first. Then, we can get back on the road. Hopefully soon, I'll be able to say my good-byes."

"You're strong, Bella. Stronger than you probably understand."

"I don't know if I'll be strong enough to deal with this."

"When the time comes, we'll see. But I think you will."

"I love you, Edward. Do you know that?"

"I know. I love you, too."

Walking into the city, we find a place to stay for the afternoon. In an abandoned shop, I fall asleep in Edward's arms, basking in the warmth of his embrace. We make love on the dusty floor and I cry the entire time, knowing that soon, my life will never be the same. I'm saying farewell to one chapter of my life, and moving onto the next and I'm not sure if I'm ready. I search my heart for the strength I need and find it in abundance. They're suffering, and if I keep them alive, I'm doing it because I'm too selfish to let go. I have to free them. By freeing them, I'm freeing myself.

As we begin our journey back, I watch the city fade away from my passenger side window. Things will get better soon. They have to… don't they?

A/N: One more chapter and then the story is complete! Thanks for reading everyone! Please, please review!