PLEASE READ!
Um... This chapter is very VERY abstract. So abstract in fact that I might post a bonus chapter this week just because I feel like this makes no sense to anyone but me... I mean it might, but it's just SO weird. Please feel free to ask about anything you don't get...
Story set: After Whole Cake Island
It's all in your head
It's dark. No matter where Sanji turns, it is dark. He sees his hands, clearly, but nothing else. He starts walking, trying to find a way out, but the darkness continues. It is silent as well, and hears only the sound of his own footsteps. His pace quickens and soon he is running. He wants to get out, but the darkness continues, and he begins losing hope. His running comes to a halt and the silence takes over once again. He accepts that there is no way out and he contemplates just standing there or breaking down, just to get it over with. Yet, he doesn't feel a pressing fear coming from the darkness. He's calm. Lost and hopeless, but calm. The darkness doesn't scare him. It doesn't comfort him either. It's just there. It's always been there, and even though he'd prefer the light, he'd always carry that darkness with him. It is a part of him.
And then suddenly, there is light. A bright and blinding light. It illuminates everything and the darkness is no more, but now Sanji is scared. This is no warm light. This is cold. As his eyes adjust to the sudden change, he can see what surrounds him. Bars. He looks up. There seems to be no end to them. He looks down, and again they seem to continue endlessly. He sees his reflection in the blank surface he walks upon, but he doesn't recognise the eyes looking back at him. He kneels. Tries to get closer to this stranger that has replaced him. He places a hand on the surface and shivers as the cold makes its way through his body. The reflection is crying, but Sanji feels no tears on his face and turns away from the stranger frozen in ice.
He walks closer to the bars and reaches for them, but stops just before his hand makes contact. He's not sure what made him stop. He doesn't understand this feeling. It's not fear, but it's far from courage. He forces himself to continue and when he touches the bars... nothing happens. Sanji feels as his heart slowly goes back to a normal pace. He didn't even know how fast it had been beating until he finally relaxed. His hand grips the iron bars. Could he break them if tried? He lets go, makes a quick spin to build up speed and strength, and kicks the bars. And once again, nothing happens. He takes a step backwards and repeats his actions, but to no avail. The bars won't budge and the sound of iron meeting his foot is slowly getting on his nerves. He stops.
Sanji turns around, but nothing new has appeared. It now occurs to him that he doesn't know where he is nor how he ended up here. In the end, he concludes that he must be dreaming. He pinches his cheek, but feels nothing. He tries again, a little harder, but apparently pinching your cheek to wake yourself up is a myth because it clearly isn't working.
He starts walking again, but he doesn't get far. As if the surface suddenly melts away, Sanji now falls. He can no longer breathe. It doesn't seem like he's surrounded by water, but when he inhales his vision blurs and his lungs feel heavy. In the back of his mind, he knows that this is not real, but when the darkness swallows the light, he grows scared. And then he hits the bottom.
He feels his lungs eject whatever air was left in him, but as he inhales again, he finally succeeds. He doesn't move for a long time, and just enjoys the feeling of breathing. The light is slowly returning, but Sanji misses the nothingness which the darkness brings. The light is no friend of his, and, at the very least, he can hide in the dark. Sanji really wants to wake up now, but as he tries to remember why, his memory fails him. If he were to wake up, where would he be? He doesn't remember.
Once again the silence is broken, but this time not by Sanji. He tries to get up to see what is making that strange ticking noise, but he finds that his hands and feet are bound to the surface. He struggles for awhile, but reminds himself that this is all a dream and just accepts his fate. The noises grow louder, and Sanji closes his eyes in an attempt to shut everything out. And then he feels the pain. He can't locate it, but it hurts. It hurts so bad, and Sanji screams and screams.
It's like his insides are burning up, and like a thousand knives are cutting him open. He feels as hands reach inside his open torso and moves everything inside him around, before putting them back in place. His screams are louder than the weird ticking noise now, but it almost sounds like someone is saying his name. Somewhere far far away, a voice is calling.
Eventually the pain stops and the restraints are no longer there. Sanji doesn't know whether he should move or stay, but he gathers the energy and willpower to roll onto his side, just to see if anything has changed. It has. He is confronted by another reflection, but this time, one he recognises. There is the blonde hair which covers the right eye, and the blue eyes that stare into nothing. The white shirt with his number is stained and old, and his fair skin is covered in bruises and dirt. Sanji continues to watch his reflected childhood as it slowly starts to change. The small boy on the other side of the mirror starts growing thinner, and Sanji's breath quickens again. When the boy is nothing but skin and bones, and the life is almost gone from his eyes, Sanji almost throws up. Tears are forming and escaping his eyes, and he does nothing to stop them. He tries to turn away from the reflection, but he can't. He can only stare into those lost blue eyes.
And then the darkness returns. Sanji can no longer see anything, and he finds comfort in the shadows surrounding him. Until he starts listening. He can hear footsteps all around him. Light footsteps running around. It sounds like children playing. They are laughing, having fun, but Sanji recognises this sound. He would never forget. He has heard these laughs so many times, and this was the one thing he never got used to. Pain could be dealt with. Disappointment could be dealt with. Sadness could be dealt with. But laughter? Never. Sanji curls up into himself and wishes that this nightmare would end, and when it does, he wishes he'd wake up somewhere warm. Somewhere far away from those laughs.
He hears his name again. They are taunting him, as they slowly close in on him. He can feel the vibrations of the movements in the surface and he wants them gone. He wants them to leave him alone in this darkness.
The call of his name gets louder and louder, and suddenly the darkness breaks.
There is an oil lamp not too far from him. It brightens the entire room and engulfs it in a warm orange shade. Sanji can feel the sweat on his face and body, and his clothes are clinging to him as if he'd just jumped into the ocean. He tries to control his breathing, but he can't find it in him to relax until someone takes his hand, and he suddenly feels at peace. Big eyes stare at him, kindly, and Sanji looks at him for a moment before he lets his head fall on Luffy's shoulder. He feels a hand going through his hair and the soft touch erases all the fears he didn't know he had.
They stay like this for a long time, and Sanji doesn't want it to end. He is crying again, but Luffy must be pretty used to it by now. He's been crying a lot lately.
Sanji apologizes and feels as the soothing hand comes to a stop. For a moment, he fears rejection, because once again, he's not strong enough.
"Don't. It's not your fault," Luffy's voice is soft, softer than Sanji has ever heard it before, "I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."
And Sanji finally lets go and embraces his captain with everything he is.
Sooo... Did you get it? Yes? No? Feel free to ask questions...
