A/N Thanks to all! We knew that sooner or later the lack of honesty between the two of them...well...here it comes

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They were up early and she let him coax her to shower with him, in honesty she hadn't really put up much of a fight. They washed one another's hair and each other's bodies, dried each other off and wound up back in his bed. The lovemaking was fun, sober and it seemed to come so naturally. It was as if they were in sync with one another's body, each knowing exactly what the other craved and what got them to that place.

To her it felt so much more intimate when after the lovemaking, he continued to hold her so closely, stroke her back and play with her hair. He was nuzzling into her neck when he had another one of those moments, a moment when he told the truth about what was in his heart. "You always make me feel so good about life Beth, like things really could go right. I'm starting to believe that if I'd just let myself go I could have my happiness with you."

She wasn't sure she understood. She drew back from him enough to place her hands on his face and ask, "Why Rick? Why won't you let yourself go? I don't understand how come you can't go with what you're feeling. You must know it's what I want too."

"I don't know, well yes I do know. I think it's all those old scars. I'm having trouble trying to let go of the past hurts and doubts and move forward. There was a time I thought Lori and I were pretty solid, man did I get fooled. I've been burned and I have trust issues Beth. How do I know what you and I have is really real?"

She was hurt and she said it and she knew she would forever be unapologetic that she did, "I'm not Lori. I'm Beth. Why should I pay for the mistakes she made? Don't ever judge me based on someone else's actions. It's unfair to me and so wrong of you to expect me to prove to you I'm not the person she was. Not fair Rick, not fair."

"You're right, I'm wrong. I'm so sorry. I know you're not her and I know our relationship can't work if I bring what happened with her into it. Believe me, you're so special to me Beth I can't even put it into words. Whatever's going on with me is my problem, my shortcoming, and I promise I'm working on it. Forgive me, please."

She was still hurt by what he'd said but she did understand and she did forgive him. Forgetting would be the harder part. The little seed of doubt was now firmly planted in Beth Greene's mind. How long it would stay buried was yet to be seen.

For now he pulled her close and she didn't resist as he pressed her body next to his. He buried his face in the curve of her neck and she found herself wrapping an arm around him and returning the hug. When her tummy growled she giggled and he laughed and said, "I'm not much of a host am I? Letting my guest starve."

He kissed her once more before climbing out of bed. His smile was so loving, his gaze so tender when he spoke, "You stay in bed Sweetheart, relax, I'll go make us a little breakfast."

She didn't stay there long without him, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom, freshened up and slipped his bathrobe on. She laughed at herself when she looked in the mirror, the garment drowned her small frame. She opted to just put her bra and panties on and walked to the kitchen. The heavy mood of their earlier conversation had lifted.

He looked up from his work when he heard her footfalls and smiled that smile that seemed to light up his whole face, "You look cute."

He was wearing nothing but his boxers and she smiled back, "I'd say we're a mighty cute pair."

"I have to agree."

He had bacon in the pan and was just beating the egg mixture for French toast, "I was going to bring you breakfast in bed."

"It'll be more fun if I help." They did have fun cooking together and when the food and coffee were ready he got them each one of his t-shirts and they enjoyed their breakfast on the back porch. Their thoughts were the same as they sat side by side eating the meal and sipping coffee, it was a perfect day. They were perfect together.

He took her home at eleven and walked her in, "I wish we could make a day of it but I've got to pick up Carl at his friend's house."

"I understand. I'm looking forward to the time when you feel comfortable telling him about us. I can't wait to meet him and maybe we can all enjoy good times together."

He didn't commit, he simply kissed her and said, "I'll call you tomorrow and we'll make some plans to get together this week, I mean if you'd like."

"I think you know I'd like."

"Thank you for the best weekend in...well in forever Beth. It was perfect." He gave her a sweet kiss and he was gone.

Another seed of doubt had been planted. Would he ever really introduce her to Carl?

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They developed a pattern, two or three lunches a week, a fast dinner when Carl had a study group or some other after school activity. Weekends were always a little more difficult. If Carl didn't have weekend plans she and Rick didn't see each other. At first she was very understanding, sure it was disappointing but of course his first responsibility was to Carl. When Rick would apologize she was good natured about it, "No, I understand Rick. Don't feel bad. Of course you want and need to spend time with your son."

It took a couple of disappointments for her to finally ask herself the big question, was Rick taking this relationship as seriously as she was, or was he just playing at having a relationship? Was he only interested in her for a little fun and sex? It was starting to feel that way. But it seemed like every time she got fed up and was ready to confront him, things got good again and she tried very hard to re bury all those doubts.

Still, the seeds of doubt were there and she also started paying more attention. Every time she asked about Carl, every time she mentioned that she'd like to meet his son or she would say something like, "Gosh that's so great his team made it to the finals, I'd love to watch him play baseball." She noticed how Rick evaded a direct response. There was never a good time for her to meet Carl. If he wouldn't even introduce her to his son, how was this going to have any hope of working itself into the long-term relationship she'd hoped for?


Carl had a sleepover that Saturday night. It had been several weeks since the first time she stayed at Rick's place and she was thinking maybe it was time to talk more seriously, maybe put Rick Grimes on the spot.

It started out so lovely. He put on some cool blues and they had a glass of wine as they thumbed through a book of historical southern photographs he'd picked up at the library. Things were good, easy and pleasant. Later he grilled chicken and they had salad and watermelon and the dinner rolls she'd brought. They sat out on the back porch and enjoyed their meal and more wine together. The conversation was light and playful.

After dinner he put in a CD of old love songs and they danced in the living room, and by the fourth song they had each other undressed and they were in his bed. It was all wonderful, fun and satisfying, like it always was for them.

It was the next morning that things got heavy. They were having scrambled eggs and coffee on the deck and she put it out there, "We've been seeing each other for quite a while now Rick. It feels like it's serious between us."

He took her hand in his, "I know, and it's been great Sweetheart. I'm happier than I've ever been." He smiled and as much as she loved that smile it didn't quite make up for the way she was feeling.

"That's wonderful Rick, but there's a big dark cloud hanging over everything for me. I've wanted to talk to you about it but you have quite the charming ability to avoid the subject altogether. That, and I suppose I'm good at avoiding conversations that could get uncomfortable." He was pretty sure he knew what was coming next and he dreaded this, he'd been dreading it ever since he knew he had her under his skin.

"Really? Well let's talk. What is it?" He didn't even manage to fool himself with the clueless response.

"Okay, I'll give you that, I'll let you pretend you don't know. But here's my question, let's see if you can just answer it in a straightforward and honest way. Exactly what is the time frame for my introduction to Carl? When are we going to stop hiding our relationship from him and everyone else in town? I understand your desire to protect him, but I don't see myself as a threat."

"Beth, oh my God, I don't either. It's…well there's so much to think about. Listen, I'm not avoiding your question, I promise I'm not. It's just that I had plans to ask you to come away with me next weekend. Not because I'm hiding anything, it's because Carl's going to be with his grandparents all weekend and I thought you and I could take a trip to Savannah. It'd be fun and that's also when I thought we'd discuss Carl and plan the best way to do this, together."

She desperately wanted to believe what he told her and she caved, "Alright IF, and it's a big IF Rick, if you promise me we'll talk about it and resolve it. Can you do that?"

"Yes, I promise Beth, I don't want to lose you sweetheart."

That week Beth Greene promised herself that no matter what, he was either going to finally make that commitment to her and prove he was serious, show her he was proud to go public and that most of all he wanted to introduce her to Carl, or she was calling it quits. It was the toughest thing she'd ever faced.

Although they'd never said the words she realized she loved him, but she also realized love wasn't enough. She admitted to herself she wasn't happy with the way she was living. She didn't mind staying home with him, reading, dancing, sharing a bottle of wine, cooking a meal together, and she had no complaints whatsoever about their sex life. But she couldn't be the woman he kept hidden, as if it was shameful they were together. This weekend would either make or break their relationship.

He'd known it for a while, really almost since day one, he loved Beth. She was the sweetest woman, the sweetest person, he'd ever known. They shared so many interests and their conversations came so easily. And the lovemaking. He'd never had the depth of desire for any woman that he felt for Beth.

In his heart he knew Carl would love her almost as much as he did, and he knew she'd be good to his son. He knew she'd never mistreat the child in any way, and he knew she'd be willing to share time with him, she'd understand that Rick had responsibilities to Carl. Her heart was so warm and open and she had such a gentle way about her, he had no doubt she'd love his son.

The three-hour drive to Savannah was pleasant. They both knew what they were doing when they kept the conversation simple with no hot button topics. They talked about work and the latest world news, and of course the news around the office.

He'd booked them a room in a quaint older hotel that had a nice bar and restaurant. After what had been a full day of work and the drive they opted for dinner right there. It was as pleasant as the drive. They shared a bottle of wine and an appetizer sampler, and they both opted for the fish of the day. All lovely, all cordial, almost perfect. It would have been perfect if not for the undercurrent of tension raging right below the surface. They had those things to discuss. Those things that would make or break their relationship.

After dinner they went back to their room and no sooner had he shut the door than his hands went to her hips, then slid back to her butt. He held on tight and drew her close. He was just about to kiss those pretty lips when she placed open palms on his chest and said, "Not right now Rick. First we need to talk."

He scrambled to put it off one more day, "I thought tomorrow we could stroll along the beach and discuss everything."

"No, that's not going to work for me Rick. Let's get it out in the open now. I don't want it hanging over my head all weekend like it did all week. I'm asking you flat out and I'd appreciate a straight answer. When are we going public and when do I meet Carl?"

"Beth, sweetheart, I…well…I honest to God don't have a doubt in my mind you and Carl would hit it off, and I want you two to meet, I really do. It's just…I'm just not sure the time is right. I was thinking we should give this thing another couple of months, just to be sure."

She reacted, "No. I can't do this Rick. It's going to happen now or it's never going to happen. The worst part of all this is I do care about you, I was even dumb enough to think the three of us could be a family, but I can't just give my heart away and not get anything in return. I'm sorry but this just isn't going to work out Rick. I deserve more."

Then he reacted and he probably couldn't have said anything worse or sounded more condescending, "I'll give you a little time to really think this over because I can't believe you want to just call it quits after everything we've meant to each other. You need to relax and calm down for a minute. I'm going to go have a drink while you give it a little more thought."

She didn't say "wait," she didn't ask him to stay like he'd hope, so he followed through and made his way to the bar. Beth called her sister, "I'm sorry Maggie, I know it's too much to ask but can you please come get me in Savannah?" She told her where she was and that she'd be waiting. Her sister knew she'd gone away with Rick Grimes for the weekend, and she could tell by the tone of her voice that Beth was hurting. She simply promised, "Bethie, yes, of course, you can tell me all about on our way home. Glenn and I are leaving now."

She didn't want to stay in that room another minute so she took her suitcase and went downstairs to wait, but there he was. One look at him and her heart softened, she hated that she wanted him so much. Maybe, just maybe he'd thought better about what he said.

His elbows were on the bar and the glass was at his lips. Her long slim fingers slipped over his and she gave his hand the slightest squeeze. He didn't turn his head, he just looked down at the brown liquid as he muttered, "Don't do it Beth, not if you're just playin'. I can't be that. It's gotta be for keeps, all of me or none of me."

That was it, the last straw. She couldn't do this again. "That's so unfair Rick. If you're not interested then at least be honest with me. Don't say it by accusing me of being some kind of game player. And just why would you say something like that to me when you're the one who can't commit? And worse, why would you think of me that way? That's not only wrong, it's mean. Have I acted like this is a game to me? Have I acted flighty or like I was just teasing? I feel like all I've done is everything I can think of to try and show you I care, hoping like hell you'd take a chance on caring about me. I may be slow but eventually I catch on. I've caught on now. You can relax. I'm all out of tries, I have nothing left to try. You win, I give up."

He still didn't look up, in fact his head hung a little lower, but his hand moved to cover hers and he clasped it tightly, "No. Please. Please don't give up on me Beth."

This time her heart had hardened for good. She said what she had to say and she really didn't care if the other bar patrons heard. She was done. "No Rick. I can't keep letting you treat me like some kind of side piece. I shouldn't have let it go on this long. I'm going home and I'm begging you, if you have any feelings for me at all don't call me, don't come around and don't speak to me at work unless it's work related and there's no other way. I thought we could have something, I'm sorry we couldn't. Goodbye Rick."

She carried her case in the rest room and that's where she let herself break down. She put the lid down on the toilet and sat with her face in her hands crying. From time to time another woman would come in to use the rest room and say something like, "Stick to your guns Honey," or something else meant to comfort her. Although it didn't really help, she appreciated it.

An hour later, when she thought she could compose herself she splashed cold water on her face, fixed her makeup and walked out. She slipped into the first booth she saw, hoping he wouldn't notice her and he didn't. She sipped on a glass of wine while she waited for Maggie.

He continued to stand at the bar feeling like an asshole, trying to think of a way he could make this right, and pouring down whiskey.

She'd texted her sister letting her know exactly where she was seated and she was so relieved when Maggie and Glenn walked in and went right to her table, they'd made record time. Beth set her glass and tip money on the table, Glenn took her suitcase in his hand and they all started walking out. A now drunk sheriff grabbed at her arm, "Beth, please, please don't do this I love you."

Why did he say that now? He never had before. Maybe it was having her family there that gave her a little extra resolve. She stayed strong, simply shaking her head no, but afraid to even look at him. Glenn put a hand on the sheriff's shoulder and said, "Hey man, now's not a good time. Sober up and think about things."

On the way home she spilled it all to her sister and brother in law. Glenn didn't see any reason she should stay alone that night and he drove them all to his and Maggie's house. When they got there he gave Beth a hug and said, "You're a terrific woman Beth and you're also right, you deserve so much more than that. I'm going to hit the sack now and let you ladies have your space. I'll see you in the morning."

The sisters stayed up most of the night drinking wine while Beth talked about what an asshole Rick was, and how stupid she was and how she wished like hell she didn't give two shits about him. Maggie bit her tongue and listened. "Bethie, Glenn's right. You deserve so much more than that. You're strong and you'll get through this, I know that. And sweetie, there's a better day coming I just feel it."

Glenn drove her home Saturday afternoon and when she walked in her apartment all she felt capable of doing was laying on the couch and crying.

Rick called several times that weekend but she never picked up. She was a miserable mess and she wanted to talk to him, she wanted him to love her, she wanted to love him, but she just couldn't put her heart through anymore.

Monday Jacqui had questions about the big weekend and Beth was afraid to talk about it. She didn't want to cry on the park bench on her lunch hour, "Why don't you come by after work Jacqui? I have a lot to tell you."

She'd never been completely honest with Jacqui or anyone else for that matter. She should have seen that as a warning sign. If things were good she would have been calling Maggie every day to tell her about this great guy, and wearing Jacqui out talking about him at lunch. She was honest with Jacqui that evening. "Oh my gosh Beth I never...well I'm so sorry. I feel terrible, I encouraged you. This is just awful."

"You have nothing to feel terrible about Jacqui. Obviously I knew in my heart the whole situation was wrong, otherwise I would have been honest with you and my sister from the beginning."

There was a knock on the door and Beth told her friend, "I'm not answering it. It's probably him, he's been calling all weekend and yesterday someone pounded on the door for 15 minutes. I know it's immature of me but I just can't talk to him and I certainly don't want to see him."

The banging continued and Jacqui finally got up and answered, simply saying, "Go home Rick. It's done."

After that first week the phone calls lessened and he didn't come banging on her door. When they crossed paths at work she looked the other way, grateful there were other people around and he didn't approach her. She was strong. Until she got home at night. That's when she'd break down and cry. She wrote about it in her journal, she called her sister, she stayed as busy as she could, she did everything in her power not to call Rick Grimes and not to answer his calls. She succeeded.

Rick was miserable. Why had he said what he said about so many things? Why hadn't he fully allowed Beth into his life? He'd used Carl as his scapegoat, he saw that now. His poor son had it all on his shoulders and he didn't even know it. Rick knew everything that happened was on him, he was the one scared shitless. He'd let his fear ruin his chance at happiness, and in the bargain he'd hurt the woman he loved. There was another tidbit of reality eating at him, he'd very possibly denied Carl a stepmother to love him and help ease the pain of the loss of Lori.

He tried calling her and telling her all that, he tried going to see her. He knew he was walking a thin line, he was practically a stalker. He just wanted to tell her, he wanted to apologize, he wanted to get honest and he knew it was too late. He should have gotten honest a long time before.

He found himself crying often, he couldn't seem to lay down at night without thinking of her and and having his eyes fill with tears. Cooking was another problem; his mind would start remembering the meals they prepared together and how much fun it always was and tears would come. Thank God Carl never saw.


It was a Saturday morning at about 9:30, three weeks after the fateful trip to Savannah. A knock came to her door. Rick hadn't been around in a while and she no longer avoided answering.

She opened the door and felt her jaw drop, then quickly tried to recover her composure. She'd know him anywhere.

He was so serious when he asked, "You're Beth Greene aren't you?"

"Yes."

He stuck out a small hand to shake as he introduced himself, "I'm Carl Grimes, can we talk?"

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A/N So there it is. I would very much appreciate hearing your comments. If you'd like to see the chapter photo it's on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick. I appreciate you reading along and I hope to see you all back here next Tuesday for more of Just Playin'. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee