Author's Note
Tis Tony's Birthday! This chapter ended up way longer than I expected, but I hope you guys like it!
The first of these bad days occurs not long after, a few weeks into May.
The first sign that something must be wrong comes from the midnight blaring of Tony's ringtone for Peter. He's so concentrated on his work that he nearly yelps, and jumps a solid foot away from his table, before recognizing the tune of 'Spiderman, spiderman, does whatev-'
"Kid, what's wrong?"
Tony hates to admit it, but the timing of the call, and the fact that he can barely make out the words Peter's saying, knowing only that he's shouting and that there's loud noises in the background, is making his heart rate accelerate at an alarming rate.
"Sir, your heart rate is increasing rapidly. Should I alert Colonel Rhodes?" comes F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice over the speakers.
"No, no Fri," he shushes before turning his attention back to Peter.
"Peter. Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are-," he cuts off, because this doesn't sound like an injured or distressed Peter, in fact it sounds more like,
"Hang on, are you laughing?"
"Mr. Staaark!" Peter giggles, and Tony can make out the tune to one of his favorite songs over the speakers.
"…Kid. Are you drunk?"
"What? No!" Tony hears the music shut off, and then Peter's voice is back at full blast on his phone.
"I just called to wish you happy birthday! You know, with the whole exactly at midnight thing? My friends and I do it, and you're one of my favorite people in the universe, so I had to wish you at exactly midnight. Anything else would have been an abomination," Peter says seriously- even though Tony can totally hear his grin- making Tony chuckle fondly.
"As nice as that sentiment is, kid, it's not-" Tony starts, but then sees the date on his computer.
"It's not what? Oh my god, were you sleeping Mr. Stark? Or no, were you in a meeting? But, it's midnight. But no, you're totally right, it's not appropriate for me to call you. I didn't realize we weren't there yet. I'm so sor-"
"Pete. Shut up. I was just going to say that I didn't even realize it was my birthday. You're so sweet to have called. Thanks, kid."
Tony can hear Peter release a sigh of relief.
"I mean, you're super old now, so I don't blame your memory. That's why I'm partying for you. You know, because you're so old," Peter teases, eliciting an instant grin from Tony.
It's moments like these that Tony remembers why he loves Peter so much.
"Guess it's time for me to start using Cap's old hearing aids," he quips back, and it's the first time he's mentioned Steve in all these months. Something inside him tugs a little, but he ignores that to turn his attention back to Peter's contagious laughter on the other end, and then listens to Peter tell him that he'd made "super cool plans" for them the next day after school.
"Can't wait, Pete."
"Me neither, Mr. Stark," he hears Peter beam into the phone before hanging up.
He realizes he hasn't stopped smiling for the past 8 minutes of the phone call, and massages his cheeks to ease the tension while wondering when the kid started having that effect on him.
When he sees the date again, a small "29/05" at the bottom of the screen, he suddenly feels all too old and all too weary, and slumps down in his chair, running his hands through his hair and down his face before finally dropping his head into them.
The tug in his heart had turned into a full-fledged yank, and a small part of him wished that Peter hadn't reminded him that today was his birthday. He wished he could ignore the sadness that seemed to envelope him when he realized that this was the first birthday in a while that he'd have to spend without the Avengers, instead of all the memories from his previous birthdays replaying in his head like a melodramatic montage.
He stood up, resolute, and decided to spend the day well, if not for anything but to spite Howard Stark, and show him that he was glad he was born even if he wished he could've traded his father in for literally any other organism-living or non-living.
And a little bit to prove to himself that he could live without Captain America and his ragtag team of ragamuffin losers that he loved. But mostly the first one. 60-40.
He slept in, waking up lazily at 10 am and effectively getting more sleep in that one night than he had in the entire of the last 2 weeks combined.
Rhodes was in DC for an "Appease Secretary Ross" session, but had sent a message at 6 am, with a simple "Happy Birthday man". No emojis, no nonsense, all Rhodey.
There was the usual scattering of automated messages and emails from his bank, the board of directors and Olive Garden, and another text from Peter wishing him again, and telling him he was "crazy excited to hang with you, Mr. Stark". It wasn't often that Tony woke up with a smile on his face, but he was glad that today was an exception.
He pads through the empty compound, actively ignoring the whine he hears due to the absolute silence throughout the entire building.
He's struck again with that familiar twang in his chest, when he realizes he usually started his birthday with a bountiful breakfast spread prepared by Steve Rogers himself, with a little help from Vision and the others.
Vision was off holidaying with Wanda, and it would hardly be fair to order him to come back just to make him an omelette.
Even though was technically the one who created him…
Hmm…
"Oh my god, Tony no. Make the fucking omelette and get out. Jesus Christ."
He shakes himself out his thoughts and makes his breakfast, instructing Fri to play some music so that there's white noise to replace the sounds of laughter and conversation that filled that space up until a few months ago.
He works in his lab and Skypes Rhodey for a while, waiting desperately for 4 pm to roll around, so that he can find a new distraction in Peter Parker. He refuses to let himself sit alone, and even goes to hang out with the building security guard just to make sure he's occupied all day. He'll go out of his way to avoid being left alone with his thoughts today.
He's just about running out of things to do when his phone rings, and Peter's face pops up, hand thrown up in a hasty peace sign, Tony's arm around his shoulder. He smiles at the picture for a moment before picking up.
"Mr. Stark! Have you eaten lunch?" Peter cries immediately, skipping the usual greeting.
Tony is hit with the sudden realization that no, he has not eaten lunch, and that he's actually really hungry. He tells Peter this, and Peter goes "Yes!" before texting him an address to a pizza place in Queens
"Kid, if I get robbed or food poisoning or both in this dodgy pizza place, I'm going to kill you," he says, before he hangs up to get ready, and he swears he could hear the eye roll Peter was giving him.
"Fri, ask Happy to pick me up in 20."
"That pizza is going to clog my arteries and I'm going to die right here," Tony says, and Peter is worried he's made a mistake until Tony orders 3 slices and says, "That's the right way to eat pizza, kid. I love it."
They talk and laugh and Peter even makes the two teenagers running the pizza place sing a birthday song for Tony, and insists on paying for the "birthday boy, or man, or maybe grandpa?" and Tony is too absorbed in spending every minute being engrossed in this kid to worry about anything else.
"You good to walk around, Mr. Stark?" Peter asks, getting a raised eyebrow in response.
"No, no not because of the old thing. Just, in case you're busy or you've got plans or something?" he asks, voice hesitantly tapering off towards the end as he tugs on the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirt.
"Please," Tony says, placing a hand on his shoulder and pulling the kid close, "even if I did, I'd blow them all off to spend a lifetime with you, kid."
So they walk, neither paying attention to where they're going or what they're doing, but enjoying the other's company, and for a while, they can't feel the voids in their hearts, too filled with happiness, pizza, and love.
Somewhere along the way, they get into an argument, about where one can find the best ice cream and milkshakes in Queens, and suddenly they're having a milkshake drinking competition and going to 5 different ice cream parlors all over town to crown a winner.
By the time 9 pm rolls around, Tony is so full, he can't move, he has stitches from laughing too hard and his face muscles are in so much pain from smiling all day. Peter's shoulders hurt from carrying around his backpack all day, but his face is flushed with laughter and he's almost giddy from happiness. They take a break and sit on a bench when Tony notices exactly how heavy Peter's bag is.
"Jeez kid, what's in the bag?" Tony asks, curiosity piqued when Peter looked at the ground sheepishly.
"Actually, since it's a Friday, I brought some clothes too. I was going to ask if we could have a slumber party of sorts," he says, "if you're not busy, of course" he adds quickly.
Tony finds himself grinning again. This kid was really the best.
"Pete, I'd love nothing more. I'll call Happy to pick us up. I really don't think I can walk anymore."
"I'll gift you a cane next year, Mr. Stark, don't you worry."
They're halfway through their game of Monopoly (if Tony specifically bought the Star Wars version just because he knew Peter liked it, that's nobody's business), when there's an alert from F.R.I.D.A.Y.
"Sir, there's a delivery for Peter Parker." Tony moves to get up, but the kid's faster, and he jumps up, insisting that Mr. Stark not move even an inch.
Approximately five minutes later, Tony's just about to get up and see what all the fuss is, when he hears, "F.R.I.D.A.Y., dim the lights, please," and sees Peter walking in with a small cake, face lit up with the glow of the candles on the cake.
Peter sets the cake down in the middle of the coffee table, shifting the Monopoly board to the side for the moment, and lets Tony get a clear good look at the cake. It's a small one, sufficient for the two of them, and a little for Rhodes when he gets back in a few days.
There's a simple cartoon, of Iron Man wearing a Spiderman shirt, standing next to a Spiderman in an Iron Man shirt, the cake punctured with three "letter" candles, spelling "O-L-D" because, "I couldn't get them to put a million candles on the cake, Mr. Stark. It's illogical."
Tony, in all honesty, is a little speechless. There's a lump in his throat, and the threat of tears in his eyes, because it's all so sweet but also oh so very empty, as he registers the clear absence of the off-tune singing of the Avengers.
He's suddenly so glad that Peter came home with him instead of leaving him to wallow on his own, and he's struck with the realisation that maybe this kid knows what he's doing after all.
So he pushes through the weight in his chest and smiles, blowing out the candles, and making a wish for the first time ever. He finds himself wishing-pleading- for everything to change, and then looks at Peter, and amends it, because there are some things he never wants to let go of.
Before they continue the game, Tony heads down to the lab for 20 minutes, on the excuse of turning the lights off, even though both Peter and he know that F.R.I.D.A.Y. could do that just as easily. Peter doesn't comment on the lie, understanding that the man needed a break, instead taking that time to go and shower and change into sleepwear.
Tony really just didn't want his kid to see him break down, and the entire day had felt like it was building up to Tony violently cursing at his bots or punching in a tear-stained pillow.
Until he realised, all he had to do was call.
It would be his birthday gift to himself. Hearing Steve's voice and feeling his soul knit itself up on its own.
He's distraught enough to consider it, and pries the phone from the gauntlet's fist and powers it on, fingers trembling in excitement and anxiety and anticipation.
His finger hovers over the call button- it's not like there was much else the phone was capable of doing- and suddenly the phone is crashing to the ground, the sudden vibration indicative of a text alert startling Tony.
He laughs to himself, thinking about how high-strung he must be to be scared by a vibration, and picks up the phone. He temporarily abandons the call button, and goes to check the message, expecting a text from the mobile service provider.
Text from: Steve Rogers
And suddenly Tony is 14 again, his heart racing when he sees his crush walk into the schoolyard, flustered and excited all at once. His knees are giving way, and he slumps into his chair again, and opens the message.
Steve Rogers: Happy Birthday, Tony 3. I miss you.
Six words, 1 emoji, and it makes his whole, fucking day.
"Oh my god he remembered my birthday"
"Oh my god he sent me a heart emoji"
"Oh my god he misses me"
"Oh my god"
His thoughts are jumbled and he's reeling, but he's ridiculously happy. He doesn't know if he should respond, but the part of him that's a little in love with him is already typing out a response, I miss you, too. I wish you'd come back. I wish I'd had your breakfast this morning, and I wish your voice had sung me happy birthday. I wish you were here, and I wish things were different and nothing is the same without you.
But one glance at the locked drawer in which the letter was kept, and Tony's pressing the delete key. It's not time yet. He can't. But for what it's worth, this was enough for now.
He returns upstairs to find Peter settled on the couch, Monopoly game forgotten. It's too late to finish it anyways, and they'd both rather fall asleep in front of the TV. They select a random season of the Original Star Trek, and they're 2 episodes in when Tony feels the weight of Peter's head on his shoulder.
It's quiet for another 5 minutes, and Tony thinks that he's fallen asleep until he hears a quiet,
"Hey, Mr. Stark?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you have a good day?" Peter turns his face up to find Tony staring blankly at the screen, "I mean, I know I didn't get you anything but-"
"Shh," is all Tony says, bringing his fingers to card through the younger boy's hair.
He thinks about his day, from the midnight phone call, to the pizza and the cake, and the text from that damn phone.
"I had a fucking great day, Pete. Thank you."
He drops a feather-light kiss to the top of Peter's head, and reminds himself to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y when the kid's birthday is.
It's only fair to throw an amazing party for one of the only forces in the universe holding him together.
