"What the fuck?" Was all Jenna could muster. Francine's perfume seemed to swirl in the air around her, muddling her thoughts.
"How about I take you home now?" Jim hedged, picking the keys up from the table and twirling them on his finger. His eyes pleaded with her to not pursue the question—not here, at least. Reluctantly, she gave in.
"Ok. But you're letting me grab gas money for you when we get there."
"You know I'm not going to let you do that. Now let's go. Quickly." He couldn't seem to get out of the house fast enough. Jenna followed, glad to be clear of the waves of hatred she could feel radiating off Francine, even seemingly through the floorboards.
A blue pathfinder sat in the driveway, still clicking and cooling down. Jim went around to the passenger side and opened Jenna's door for her, closing it gently before walking around to open his own. Of course he would be the type of guy to do that—a perfect gentleman.
He adjusted his seat in the silent car, pushing it way back so his knees weren't pressed up against the wheel. It wasn't until after he had started the engine and began backing out that Jenna opened her mouth.
"What happened?"
Jim focused on the back-up camera, getting them out of the driveway before responding.
"Well, we're getting divorced. If you couldn't tell. Where do you live? I mean, where are you staying?"
"Quail Hill. You know where that is? Down two exits on the 128, I can direct you from there." Jenna's voice belied her patience; she wanted answers.
"Ok, I can do that," Jim replied. He fell silent, tapping the wheel nervously.
"Jim?"
"I know. I want the right words. I don't know what they are right now. I can't—you know I'm not good with words."
"Go ahead and give it a shot with the wrong words. I'll try my best to follow."
"Ok well, we're getting divorced. I already said that. I'm guessing you want to know how she knows about you?"
"Yes, that would be nice."
"Well, it started when I asked for the divorce. I uhh-well, never mind. After I told her I wanted one—a divorce, I mean—she started poking around." He cleared his throat nervously. "It was a nurse. One of the nursing students, I mean. Did a rotation at my practice, then in neonatal with Francine. Felt an obligation to clue her in to our frequent visits—didn't claim to know anything, but just shared her suspicion. When she asked me about it I couldn't lie, I guess. I just confessed. We were already getting the divorce anyways, so at that point it was a done deal. I never wanted to bring you into it, though."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"She hasn't called you or anything, right? She didn't show up at the diner?"
"No of course not, that was the first time I've seen her since I gave birth. But why didn't you tell me you were getting divorced?"
"Why didn't I tell you? Well, you dumped me, remember?"
"I know but—"
"And you changed practices, to Dr. Goldstein's, which I would honestly advise against because he's a terrible doctor, not that you should continue seeing me, obviously, but honestly just not seeing him would be best—"
"Jim."
"Sorry."
"You should have told me."
"No. I mean, that wouldn't be kind," he backtracked. "You ended. . . whatever it was we had, and you ended your marriage in that hospital, and I could see how hard that was for you, and how dedicated you were to making a fresh start. I never wanted to make your life harder. Isn't that what you said when you ended it? That it would be best to avoid messiness? Well this messiness is mine. So it's my own to deal with. In fact, I would say you've been dealing with more than your fair share of messiness already."
"Well, I brought that on myself," Jenna chuckled. "Leaving my husband with a newborn probably wasn't the best idea."
"I didn't mean leaving him, Jenna."
"Then what did you mean?"
"The crying you were doing at the bus stop, and the look in your eyes now. How long have you been like this?"
"I'm fine, Jim." Jenna's voice carried a tone of warning. "I can handle it."
"You got worse when I asked about Lulu. You look exhausted. Have you thought of hurting yourself? Or her?"
"Dr. Pomatter!"
"I don't mean to pry, but it could be—"
"Stop it. I'm fine," Jenna declared. "Take this exit and then turn left off the ramp."
"You should make an appointment with an OB who knows what they're doing. Not me, of course, but somebody else at my practice Dr. Laughlin is amazing, she can help you."
"Would you leave it alone already?" Jenna was surprised at the amount of anger in her voice.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just tell me when to turn."
"The next right, then the first right, then it's a block down on the left."
They drove the rest of the way in silence. When they pulled up outside of Dawn and Ogie's house, Jenna turned to face him.
"Stop worrying about me. Please. And—" she paused, looking at his eyes, deep-set and sad in a way she didn't remember them ever being. "Please take care of yourself. Please."
"Funny how you ask me to take care of myself when you refuse to do the same."
"It's different."
"How?" he asked. He truly meant it too—it wasn't just a retort.
"I have Lulu to take care of. She comes first now."
"Lulu is important, but so are you. Don't forget that."
"Goodbye, Dr. Pomatter."
She slammed the door behind her and walked up the driveway slowly, sore from the long walk and hard cry. When she got to the front door she turned and looked back at the car still idling on the road. He was staring at her, his gaze intense and so sad. She lingered for a moment, some part of her not wanting to leave him like that, so defenseless and alone, to return to the cold house in Stanton Grove. Then Dawn opened the door and the spell was broken—he drove off and she stepped inside, right into Dawn's outstretched arms.
"What happened?" Dawns eyes were wide with concern. Jenna felt the guilt rise in her again—she hadn't noticed it fade, but somehow being with Jim had calmed her down.
"I just got so lost in my thoughts, and when I stopped and looked around I had no idea how I'd gotten to where I was. I was lucky Dr. Pomatter was there—if he hadn't been I honestly don't know what I would've done. I'm so sorry that I left you with the baby though; where is she?"
"She's just asleep in her crib now. We found the baby monitor in the box in your room—why haven't you used that yet? We put some batteries in it and have it all set up, so we've just been resting and watching history channel."
"Oh good. Let me go get some money for you guys—"
"Jenna, could you stop that please?"
"Stop what?"
"We want to help! With Lulu! You always take the weight of the world on your shoulders and right now it's just too damn much. Let us watch Lulu for a while each day so you can eat and sleep and shower and take care of yourself!"
"Dawn's right," Ogie chimed in. Jenna hadn't noticed him emerge from the living room. "We'd love to spend some time with little Lulu. After all, if we're gonna have one of our own someday, a little practice now would help bunches."
"I couldn't ask that of you two—you both work full time, I'm the one sitting here all day with nothing to do."
"I won't hear of that!" Ogie retorted. "I'm in that office nine to five each day and it practically bores the daylights out of me. Sure, I have my war re-enactments, but that's only every first and third Saturday of the month-I have time every night to watch little Lulu, and I know Dawn feels the same."
"I do," Dawn chimed in. "And Ogie's right—if we're gonna have one of our own, I need all the practice I can get. Not that Lulu's practice or anything, but you can never be too safe, right?" She walked over and threaded her arms around Ogie's waist. He returned the gesture subconsciously, then they both turned and smiled at Jenna. She had to plaster a smile on her face, hiding the stab of jealousy that swirled through her stomach. She wanted to wrap her arms around somebody like that—she shoved images of Jim from her mind.
"Ok ok, we can talk about you guys having a night every now and again with her. That might be nice, actually. But only if you let me start cleaning or something."
Before Dawn or Ogie could respond, Jenna heard her phone ring from where she had left it in the kitchen. She quickly passed Dawn and Ogie in the hallway and picked it up—it was a number she didn't recognize. She pressed the green 'accept' button anyways—almost nobody had this number, so it likely wasn't spam, though she didn't know who would be calling at this time of night.
"This is an automated message from the office of Doctors Pomatter, Laughlin, and Henry, reminding you of your appointment tomorrow at ten o clock. If this time isn't correct or you are unable to make it to your appointment, please call us at—"
Jenna hung up the phone before the message could complete. She hadn't booked that appointment, but she knew who had.
"Who was it?" Dawn asked from the entry to the kitchen.
"It was the doctors office. I think Dr. Pomatter booked me an appointment." Jenna tried to keep her stomach from fluttering—this intrusion should make her angry. And it did. Who did he think he was, just booking her time like that?
"Well that's nice!" Dawn responded. "I never did like that other doctor—say, why did you change anyways? You always seemed so fond of Dr. Pomatter! It'll be good for you to get out. What time is the appointment?"
"Ten in the morning." Jenna responded, half-focused as she tried to figure out her feelings.
"Oh perfect! I'm not working til three—I can watch Miss Lulu and maybe you can take yourself shopping or get a manicure or something. You deserve a little treat!"
"Oh well that's nice, but I'll be fine. I don't think I'll even go—it wasn't quite his place to book me an appointment."
"Nonsense! You've been exhausted lately, and you never did go in for your last appointment with that other doctor—he wasn't very good, was he? You could use a check-up."
"We'll see."
"I've got Lulu," Dawn replied firmly, her voice once again a comical imitation of seriousness. Just then, the tell-tale crackling of a baby monitor went off in the living room. The sound of it sent Jenna's stomach dropping through the floor. Another sleepless night loomed in front of her.
"Speak of the devil!" Dawn smiled cheerfully. Jenna could only half-smile meekly back, dragging her feet back to her room to return to her nightly hell.
