"Ok, you good from here?" Jenna asked, still holding the door as Jim cleared it. He was efficient with the walker now; hopefully today would be his last day with it, if his physical therapist cleared him.

"I'm fantastic," he replied with a big grin. He'd been smiling like that ever since the night before last. Jenna had to give him credit for the blissful optimism he maintained, even as they discussed logistics and finances and what their future may entail. It was like they were getting married, minus the actual marriage itself. Jenna's stomach flipped just thinking about it.

"Ok, I'm gonna run over to the diner then and tell Becky. I'll be back in an hour."

Jenna left the door open and quickly walked around the Jim's front. Putting her hands over his on the walker, she leaned in and kissed him gently. She felt his lips spread into a smile under hers and she couldn't help but giggle. Just being able to do that, out in the open, with anybody watching—it felt so stupidly good.

"Good luck. How about we get some lunch after, you and me and Lulu?"

Jenna's features darkened slightly. "Jim, I can't afford a meal out, not if I'm saving for rent."

"My treat. Allow me to take you on at least one date before we move in together."

Jenna paused, biting her lip. "Ok. Sure. What the hell, I've already thrown caution to the wind. Might as well."

She leaned in for one last kiss and then flitted out the door, trying to savor the feeling before facing down Becky. She had a feeling her friend wasn't going to like the idea of her running off into the sunset with her ex-lover.


Jenna closed the door behind her gently, trying to avoid having the bell ring and announce her arrival.

The diner was nearly empty; some church-group old ladies sat in their typical booth by the furthest window—Jenna knew their pie orders by heart—and an old man sat at the counter, head hunched over a plate of eggs and bacon.

"Well there you are!" Cal boomed as he emerged from the kitchen. "I thought that goddamned maternity leave was taking too long. Your apron is on it's hook in the back, go ahead and wash up and I have a couple pies for you to make." He turned to walk away.

"Uhh., I'm not actually here to work," Jenna said. Cal stopped in his tracks, turning to face Jenna, already seemingly bored with her excuse.

"You what?"

"Is Becky here? I need to talk to her," Jenna's eyes pleaded with Cal. If he went and forced her to tell him before she'd told Dawn or Becky, she'd never hear the end of it.

"She's out back smoking. Don't tell her I told you that though, she doesn't want you knowing she started up again," Cal harrumphed. Jenna thanked him with her eyes as she headed out the door and around the front of the building.

"Becky!" she called around the corner, giving her a chance to hide a cigarette if she had one.

"Jenna?" Becky called back. By the time Jenna rounded the corner, the cigarette had been stomped and partially pushed beneath a dumpster, only a tendril of smoke still rising from the crushed tip. Jenna smiled knowingly at Becky, but she just stuck her nose up, refusing to admit the bad habit, even with the smell of tobacco swirling around them.

"What are you doing here?" Becky asked. "Don't you have an invalid and an infant to take care of?"

"Jim's at physical therapy and Lulu is in the car out front. I had an hour break before I had to pick him up and I wanted to see you. I have something to tell you."

"Well let's go see my godchild then; I want to hold her. I have a feeling I'm going to want to throttle you after what I hear, so you're gonna want me holding a baby."

Jenna smiled half-heartedly as she led Becky to the front. Even now, her stomach twisted at the thought of leaving her best friends behind.

Lulu cooed and gurgled as Jenna removed her from her car seat and handed her off to Becky. Becky inspected her thoroughly as she got her in her arms, as though checking that Lulu still had all her fingers and toes. Apparently satisfied, she began rocking the baby and looked at Jenna expectantly.

"So?" she asked bluntly.

"Well," Jenna began. She paused, unsure what to say. Becky sighed with exasperation.

"Jenna, I am not going to coddle you and play guessing games here. Spit it out."

"Fine!" Jenna exclaimed impatiently. "I'm going with him. We're leaving. Jim and I, I mean."

Becky continued bouncing, acting as though she hadn't heard. Jenna held her breath, waiting for some sort of response. Nothing. Becky continued bouncing and Lulu gurgled a bit, reaching a hand out for Becky's nose. Becky put her pinky finger in Lulu's grasp and the baby clutched at it, giggling.

"Do you love him?" Becky finally asked, cocking an eyebrow and looking up at Jenna, her pinky still firmly entrapped in Lulu's grip.

"I was fighting it so hard because of the timing, but. . ." Jenna faded out. Her heart was pulsing in her chest, filling her with the longing she had for Jim, for ruffling his messy black hair and kissing the sadness out of his eyes and hearing his awkward jokes and watching his clumsy movements. There were no words to give Becky to define the feeling, as premature as it might be.

"How long was your affair with him?" Becky asked. Her voice was still devoid of emotion, leaving Jenna feeling unbalanced and scared. Terror might still be looming.

"Well, it began at my second appointment. So I was about six weeks along, and I didn't end it 'til I was in labor, so nearly nine months."

"Honey, that's not an affair, that's a relationship," Becky crowed.

"Well, I don't know if I would call it that," Jenna shot back, going back in her memory. Was it more than just sex?

She remembered the 'phone appointments' she'd had with him. She'd started with innocent real questions—often ending up with follow-up visits to 'clarify her concerns'—but once he'd given her his home number, they'd started talking all the time. She remembered sitting on the tile floor in her old house with Earl, leaning against the counter and watching a pie bake in the dim light of the oven, cradling the phone beneath her ear and talking to him well into the night. Where had he been for those conversations? She had done such a good job of forgetting Francine's existence, she hadn't realized he must have been home with her on some of those occasions. Would he sit in the kitchen, under that small chandelier, watching the lonely bus stop? Would he sit out in the front yard, staring up the road at interminable, white, upper-class suburbia?

And when he came over that first time; Jenna was so nervous bringing him into her home while Earl was gone on a fishing trip. She'd cleaned for hours ahead of time, and it had all been for nothing because he never took his eyes off of her. She'd taught him to make a pie that day, and then they sat out on the porch in the blazing sun, eating pie and melty ice cream and talking. What had they talked about? They'd promised to avoid anything 'real', trying to keep that illicit magic of their stolen time together, but Jenna remembered telling him about getting trapped with Earl. He'd told her about Francine, too.

About med school, and how at some mentor dinner they'd been sat next to each other. About how their circles of friends overlapped just enough but not too much, how they always conveniently saw each other at social events and were thrust together by their friends who saw their relationship as some sort of ideal. How it didn't take long for them to end up dating, and then their specialty interests always aligned. About how, when you were so deep in med school and internships and rotations it was easy to just never leave that behind; they could always talk about patients and procedures and techniques and fuck-ups. How it became work 24/7, then joining Francine's cushy Connecticut life on vacations. He never told Jenna about his family, but she sensed that there was some trauma there, something he was hiding from or avoiding. Joining Francine's perfect life seemed like the right answer; just upgrading from his own.

"Jenna?" Becky shook Jenna's shoulder and startled her out of her reverie.

"Yeah. I guess it was a relationship," Jenna faltered.

"I just thought you were sleeping with him," Becky soothed.

"I thought it was such a mistake," Jenna whispered. "The whole affair. I felt so ashamed and confused because I was still attracted to him, but I figured it was just my body betraying me. I didn't think it was real, ya know?"

"Oh honey, I do. I just never want you to get hurt," Becky reached out an arm from holding Lulu and pulled Jenna in to her side.

"I don't want to get hurt either. That's why I fought it. So soon after Earl, and with Lulu so young, it's just not the right time. He's everything I've ever wanted, but the timing. . ."

"I read something about that once," Becky murmured into Jenna's hair, rocking her slowly back and forth. "It was something about how you always meet the right person at the wrong time, or the wrong person at the right time, or something like that. I think you can make an exception for Jim though. You can make this your right time."

They stayed like that for a moment, rocking together, both inhaling Lulu's clean smell of baby powder.

"And it doesn't hurt that he has money," Becky joked as she finally let Jenna go. Jenna couldn't help but smile.

"It doesn't hurt. Though I don't think I'll let myself mix finances with him. At least not yet. I need to have some semblance of independence. Especially if I'm going to open a pie shop of my own."

"You're actually going to do that?" Becky smiled widely.

"I am. You weren't wrong when you said I shouldn't depend on a man. I'm not going to put myself in the same spot I was in with Earl. I'll have my own livelihood to hold me up."

"Good for you girl!" Becky patted Jenna on the back. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"He's had offers from a couple of hospitals. He offered to hold out for one in Nashville or Texas if we wanted to stay within driving distance of you guys, but I think it might be best if I wasn't too close to here. It's kind of like a magnet, you know? I'd always feel pulled back."

"Good. Steer clear. Don't let yourself get hauled back to this place. You'll never leave," Becky smiled ruefully. Jenna knew of her past; she'd tried to escape more than once, and ended up back here, childless and in an empty, loveless marriage.

"You could always come with us," Jenna murmured, holding her hands out take Lulu back. They needed to go pick Jim up soon. Becky held Lulu away and opened the car door on her own, insistent on getting the baby settled.

"Keep me in mind. Cal is married to this diner and soon I'll be married to Cal, so my chances of leaving are slim. If I can pry him away in a few years I'll consider it."

"Ok," Jenna said, watching Becky strap Lulu in. She felt her chin wobble and fought it hard, but the idea of not seeing Becky whenever she wanted was really hitting her.

"Oh don't you go crying on me now," Becky crowed as she turned around and saw Jenna's face. "I'll help you get all packed up and started on designing your shop. You ain't seen the last of me," Becky pulled Jenna gruffly into a hug and Jenna squeezed her tightly back.

"We're leaving soon, Becky," Jenna mumbled into her friends oversized bosom.

"You what?" Becky pulled back and held Jenna by the shoulders, looking her in the eye.

"We're going as soon as we can. Hopefully Jim is getting rid of the walker today. As soon as he does we're packing and he's going to take an offer and then we're gonna just. . . go."

"How soon?"

"Hopefully by this time next week."

Becky whistled, letting the air out of her lungs. Jenna thought for just a moment that maybe this would be it—the thing that caused Becky to go off on her, to rage and rant and call Jenna all the names she knew she deserved to be called. But she didn't. Becky opened the car door, gave Lulu a kiss on the forehead, and then closed it gently. She turned to Jenna and did the same to her, kissing her square in the center of her forehead, her breath smelling of cigarette smoke.

"Ok," Jenna murmured, opening the drivers door. "I love you, Becky," she said as she sat and strapped herself in.

"I know," Becky replied, closing her door for her.