Chapter 2: Once on This Cruise Ship
The cruise churned forward, making its way toward tall skyscrapers and flashing lights. The moon shined overhead, and Blaineley strode to the center of the screen as the view panned in from the sky to the main deck of the ship.
"Welcome, my loving fans, to another episode of Total Drama Odyssey! To recap, my life has been going pretty well. Chad Kitt finally proposed to me, I think he's going to leave Catalina Brolie final-oh, right, a recap for the show. Last week, on Total Drama Odyssey, you saw a budding romance."
A shot of Tess and Ken gazing lovingly into each others' eyes flashed across the screen.
"Tess and Ken have a thing for each other. It's cute. But what's even cuter is the bromance between Ori and Marquis! Or it would have been, until Marquis got the boot! You know, none of us are really sure why, but that's what happened! Want to find out what happens next? Will Chad finally dump his longterm girlfriend for me? Oh, I mean, stay tuned on Total Drama Odyssey!"
Josie: I had a bit of a meltdown last episode and I realized, I'm not gonna win fans that way. I need to… build myself up. Be strong. Show people that I'm a badass, not a crybaby. I'm getting older, so the flirty young chick won't work for me. I need to be the powerful mom, even if my baby is back home and I'm here. Did I call a sitter? Hmm, probably.
Josie strode over to Yejide, Anita, and Hudson, who were all seemingly doing yoga on the main deck. Yejide and Anita were in warrior pose, arms outstretched and legs bent, while Hudson was bent over on the ground in child's pose. Josie took a seat at a beach chair about five feet from them.
"Hey guys, long time no see." She crossed her legs and smiled.
"Uh, yeah," Anita responded.
Anita: Why is she talking to us? We're not friends. And I don't anticipate us becoming friends, either.
"Would you like the join us?" Yejide asked, splitting her legs further apart. "After we finish yoga, we're going to have a poetry workshop to prepare for tomorrow's slam poetry café in the third floor lounge."
"What?" Josie said. She blinked, opened her mouth to speak, and then blinked again. "Don't we have a challenge tonight? How are you gonna find the time?' She uncrossed her legs and leaned in, waiting for Yejide to respond.
Yejide smiled. "Time isn't real." She moved into tree pose and began to sway. "A minute passes but nothing changes, yet everything has changed in that minute." She paused. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Hudson looked at the camera from his seated position.
Hudson: Yeah, I'm just here to work on my belly fat. There's not many other ways to keep in shape on the ship.
About twenty feet away, Ori was standing at the railing of the cruise and looking over the edge, staring into the ocean. "I can't believe I'm… alone."
Ori: It's weird. I'm used to being alone sometimes, I guess. Friends dump me pretty quickly. I think that's why I get so attached to people. I just felt like I clicked with Marquis and now… I don't click with anyone. Or at least I haven't yet. It sucks.
Ori was still standing, pensive and reflecting on his loneliness when Morgan approached him. She was carrying a glass of what seemed to be soda.
"Hey there." She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around. "I don't know if we've really met yet, but I'm Morgan." She offered him the glass.
Grabbing the soda from her hand, Ori smiled at her. "Thanks."
"Do you wanna talk?" Morgan said.
Ori nodded, and the two of them made their way to a shady area with a couple of lounge armchairs. After letting Ori sit first, Morgan sat down and stared at him.
"What's up?" she said.
Morgan: I feel bad for Ori. It looked like Marquis was his only friend, and… Well, I can't stand seein' someone all alone and sad. He needs a friend, and honestly, so do I. Devon is just all game and I want someone to just be nice to me for me, not for a vote.
"Yeah, it's just been hard," Ori said with a sigh. "But, uh, thanks for talking to me. No one else has."
Morgan shrugged. "A lot of these people just don't get me. I'm not sure if you do quite yet, but I think we're clicking."
They both smiled, got up, and hugged. After letting go, they walked away as if nothing had happened.
Ori: Morgan's… not my usual cup of tea, but I don't really have any options, and she's a lot better than what I expected. So… she's cool.
The camera shifted to a view of the dining room, where people sat at various tables. At one table sat Tess, Ken, Isaac, and Mona-the two couples. Mona was eating apple slices while the other three were all eating eggs, toast, and bacon.
Isaac: I know that being with Mona makes me a target. We're both hot. We're both in shape… We need protection. Uh, oh. I didn't mean it like that. Or I guess maybe I did. Heh.
"I'm just not really convinced that green looks good on anyone," Mona said, eyeing Ken's green shirt. "Are you trying to look like a leprechaun?"
Ken looked at Tess.
"I like it," she said. "I think it looks great." She smiled at him, and then looked at Isaac and Mona, causing her smile to weaken into an embarrassed smirk.
Tess: Ken's great, he's just… really passive. I'm hoping there's a spark in him soon, but I had to grab his key last week, and now he can't even stand up for his shirt color? Ugh, I'm being stupid.
"Listen, let's get down to business," Isaac said. He put his elbows on the table and leaned in toward Ken and Tess. "We're the only couples here. Why don't we team up?"
Ken: Since when did Total Drama have this much strategy?
"Isaac!" Mona exclaimed. "Why are you like this? You have to flirt first, tease the idea a bit. You don't just blurt it out like that. It's so stupid." She turned to Tess. "But what do you think? Yeah?"
Tess looked at Ken, hoping for an answer, but he just started back at her with puppy-dog eyes.
"Yeah, we're in," she said.
Tess: I'm not gonna see anything else from him, am I? I guess that's what happens when I think with my-
Nicholas walked into the game room to see Devon and Henry seated in front of the flat screen tv, playing some kind of war video game. Dani and Trisha were sitting a few feet away from them, playing chess. Nicholas decided to avoid Henry and pulled a chair up to Trisha and Dani.
"Oh, bad move," he said, as Dani took Trisha's bishop. Trisha coughed but laughed a bit. Dani, however, shot Nicholas a look.
"Can I help you?" Dani said. "Or are you just gonna watch silently? Because I certainly don't recall preguntarte para ayuda."
"What?" Nicholas said, not understanding her Spanish.
"For asking you for help. God! Can't someone on this cruise know Spanish?"
Without looking away from the screen, Devon raised his hand. "Me. I know Spanish, Dani. Yo puedo hablar."
Dani's mouth fell open, but then turned into a shining grin. If Devon had turned around to look at her, rather than keep playing video games, he would have smiled at her. Nicholas, on the other hand, was not smiling.
Dani: Gracias a Dios. I'm not alone on this cruise. Don't get me wrong, my English is fine. But this also means… maybe Devon and I can strategize in a language no one else can speak.
Nicholas: That's great for them, but it just means I'm going to be keeping my ears open. Not that I could understand anything, but I'll just-I'll just figure something out, okay? I'm smart! I am!
"Hey, can I take winner at chess?" Henry asked, still shooting at Devon in the video game. "I promise I'll actually be a challenge."
Dani scoffed. "Okay."
"Okay." Henry smirked and turned to wink at her. "Good luck."
Dani: Gross.
"Well, you win," Trisha said, standing up from the table. "Henry, you're up whenever you want." Trisha walked toward the couch to sit with Devon, but turned back and wiggled her eyebrows at Dani as if to say "go get some." She sat down on the couch, and Henry took her seat at the chess table across from Dani. Nicholas was still sitting there as well.
"You're white," Henry said, leaning back.
Dani blinked. "Oh." She laughed. "Yeah, I'll move first."
Henry: I find that it's easy to get to know someone in a bit of competition. So we'll play a game, maybe I'll win, maybe I'll lose, but I think we'll both get something out of it.
"And checkmate," Dani said, knocking over Henry's king.
Henry smirked. "Good game."
The two smiled at each other until Nicholas butted in. "I wouldn't really call that a good game. It was actually a little pathetic. I'm not shocked that Henry lost, though. Given his actions last week, he has to be stupid."
Henry: It's a good thing I've given up on him. He's... what? 13? How old is he really? I'm 24. I don't need this.
Dani: I'm… I can't believe that this kid is on this show. Who cast him?
"I suppose I'll go next?" Nicholas asked. He stood up and waited for Henry to get out of his chair. After a couple seconds of shock, Henry stood up and allowed Nicholas take his position.
"Have fun, you two," Henry said, smiling at both of them. Dani rolled her eyes in response, but smiled. She watched him as he walked out of the room, so much so that Nicholas got impatient.
"Excuse me, this is Total Drama, not the Bachelor. Now let's play chess." He swung the board around, giving himself the white pieces. "My move."
Dani grimaced at the camera.
Dani: I deserve the million for dealing with him. Seriamente.
"Wow, that was easy," Nicholas said as he rose from the chair. "Next time actually try, okay?" Nicholas pushed his chair in and walked out of the room.
"What the hell was that?" Trisha exclaimed as she spun around to meet Dani's eyes. "How did you not murder him? I mean, not that I'd murder him, but you have a short fuse, Dani."
Dani shrugged. "I dissociated."
Trisha: I love Dani. She's great. But you never really know what to expect from her. I mean, she is young. God, I'm old, aren't I? Thirty-one is the new fifty-five. Sheesh.
After convincing Isaac to give her some alone time, Mona made her way to the main deck. She saw Yejide, Hudson, and Anita still doing yoga, and decided to join them. Josie was sitting off to the side, seemingly trying to tan even though the moon was out.
"J-Josie?" Mona said.
Josie didn't respond.
Josie: UVs are strongest when you can't see them. I read that online.
"Don't bother," Hudson said. "She's been comatose for twenty minutes now."
Mona shrugged. "The moon's not gonna hide those crow's feet. I just don't get why she's even trying."
Josie opened a single eye, but shut it quickly.
"She can still hear you," Anita said, standing up. "Don't you care?"
"Nah," Mona replied, shaking her head. "She's probably lost some hearing at her age."
This time, both of Josie's eyes flashed open.
Josie: She's clearly trying to set me off. I'm not sure why. Maybe Isaac said something about her being ugly and me being sexy. All boys love a good MILF.
"I can assure you, my hearing is just fine," Josie said, slowly rising from her chair, trying to emulate something from an action movie with a strong female lead, like Kill Bill. She failed, however, as she tripped climbing up and stumbled back into her seat. She flipped her long blonde hair and stood up again. "Hello, Mona."
Mona stared at her dumbstruck. Then, she turned her attention back to Anita and Yejide. "Mind if I join?"
Anita and Yejide nodded assuringly. Mona took off her gray jean jacket, let down her curly hair from its bun, and started to enter yoga pose with the girls and Hudson when the boat lurched to a quick stop.
"Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed the cruise so far!" Blaineley voice reverberated across the ship through the intercom. "We've reached our first destination! New York City!"
Everyone gathered onto the main deck to look out at the city skyline. The dark space in front of them was crowded with neon lights, signs that advertised cheap deals for older gentlemen and Broadway shows, skyscrapers that shined a bright rainbow, and planes flying overhead. For many of them, New York was a new horizon filled with unexpected, but tonight, they were in for a grueling escapade that would ruin New York for them possibly forever, or at least that's what Blaineley was hoping for.
Mona: New York is beautiful. Once I get some of my life together I'm moving there. That way, I can not be nice and get away with it. I've never met a nice person from New York, and I don't plan to change that for myself.
As the contestants kept marveling at the view, Blaineley stepped outside from the captain's quarters to greet them. "Take in as much as you can now, because trust me, you won't be seeing much once we start this challenge. Before we start, though, why don't I ask some questions?" She looked at the camera. "Stir up some drama, get the tears flowing… God, I love myself. And this job. I love me."
Everyone else just looked at her, not sure whether she knew they could hear everything she was saying.
"Anyway, let's start with… you," Blaineley said, pointing her index finger at Tess. "You're in a showmance, right? How is it?"
Before Tess could respond, Ken wrapped her in a side-hug and beamed at Blaineley. "It's going great," he said. He smiled at Tess, and she smiled back without saying anything.
Blaineley: I give them a day, two tops.
Some others caught on to Tess' awkwardness, but for the most part nobody questioned it. So, Blaineley moved on, hoping her next question could spark some sort of controversy.
"Anita, you're very fashionable. Chic, even. Is that the newest Yves St. Laurent, I see? How much would that cost? More than the prize money for this show, maybe?"
Anita scoffed. "Please, it's a knock-off."
Blaineley frowned. "But, um, your purse? That has to be authentic Prada, Fall collection? Not released yet? Pricier than my salary?"
Anita shook her head.
Anita: I get what Blaineley is trying to do. But regardless of how much my dress costs, that doesn't say anything to the kind of player I am. I'll trample someone in a Paris boutique and I'll trample someone here. No difference to me.
Blaineley sighed. "Come on guys, give me something. Are any of you fighting? There has to be something worth air time. Our audience needs conflict! Passion! Romance!"
"I think these two," Nicholas said, gesturing toward Dani and Henry, "are going to happen soon. They refuse to admit it, but you can tell by how close they're standing, and the intensity of their pheromones, that they're attracted to one another."
Dani and Henry glared at him.
"I'm sorry?" Dani said.
"Don't apologize," Nicholas replied. "I may be in tune with the science of logic, but not everyone can be so detached from their emotions. I understand, and therefore there's no need to say you're sorry."
Trisha: Nicholas is… a smart boy. Anyone could see that. But he just doesn't think. Or he does, but not well. He reminds me of my brother. Maybe Nicholas watches anime, too. I mean, I watch also, but, maybe he's the basement-dwelling type. Does that sound bad? Oh, it probably does. What I'm trying to say is-
"Keep going," Blaineley said, trying to encourage Nicholas. "The world wants to listen, Nicholas. Speak your truth."
Nicholas opened his mouth to talk, but Yejide interjected. "Blaineley, I agree. Speaking your truth is the highest joy anyone can truly attain." She glided closer to Blaineley, moving around her. "If we're open with each other, the world is open with us."
Blaineley pushed her onto the ground. "You sound like my ex-therapist. Anyway, let's just get to tonight's challenge. If you follow me, we'll be heading to Broadway!"
Some of the contestants cheered, being fans of musical theatre, but a loud groan erupted from Ori. "Are you kidding me?" He said. "We're going to Broadway? What are we gonna do? Dance? Sing? I'm not doing it."
"Why not?" Devon said. "Do you have a problem with that?"
Ori grunted. "Yeah, I do. But I'm not gonna get into it. People would think I'm crazy."
Devon thought about probing further, but decided not do. Blaineley, eager to start the challenge and the torture, didn't ask any more questions either. Instead, she led them off the cruise, and through New York to a theatre on Broadway. Inside, the lights of the theatre were off, but a single silhouette was on stage. As the lights flashed on, the contestants saw a young woman with curly brown hair and a large form, smiling at them and waving.
"Hi guys, I'm Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray, and I'm really excited to lead your challenge today. Ex oh, ex oh."
Everyone seemed confused at her presence, though Ori seemed almost disgusted.
"For tonight's challenge," Blaineley began, stepping onto the stage, "Nikki Blonsky is going to teach you dance routines. Then, you'll repeat them, and she'll eliminate you once she believes you're hopeless and beyond repair. Or if she just thinks you're ugly, I guess."
Nikki Blonsky looked at Blaineley, her smile unfaltering and her eyes unblinking. "Ha ha, Blaineley, you're so funny. We should hang out sometime girl!"
"No."
Nikki Blonsky didn't respond, but instead seemed to almost robotically walk to the front of the stage, waiting for the contestants to gather behind her. Once they had all formed two lines of eight, Nikki began to dance, politely yelling at them to pay attention and follow her movements. Most of them tried to the best of their abilities, but had no dancing genes in their entire body. That is, except a few people.
Devon: I did some musical theatre in high school and college, so this isn't too bad for me. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's hard, but it's manageable.
After about ten minutes of practicing the same routine, Nikki Blonsky spun around and faced the contestants. "Now you guys are going to be dancing on your own, and I'll decide who's the best. Ex oh ex oh. On my go… go!"
Nikki Blonsky bounced off to the side of the stage to examine them from a different angle, and everyone began to dance. Nearly immediately, Nikki Blonsky pointed at Hudson and told him he was eliminated. "Keep going everyone!"
Yejide: My being sways to the rhythm of the energy around me, and so my body is able to follow suit. I must say, I am not impressed by this challenge.
"Five Minutes Later" flashed across the bottom of the screen, and Yejide, Nicholas, Ken, Trisha, and Anita sat next to Hudson in the first row of seats. Morgan and Isaac seemed to be struggling, but otherwise everyone seemed to be determined to win the challenge.
Nikki Blonsky took a step toward the contestants and began to eye Ori up and down. "You look familiar."
Ori kept dancing. "I'm not. Can't say I recognize you. I've never seen Hairspray." He looked away, or at least tried to, but Nikki Blonsky refused to surrender her gaze.
"No, I know you," she said. Her eyes widened as realization spread across her face. "Oh my gosh, Ori! It's been so long! It's me, Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray! And you're-"
"Don't say it!" Ori said, falling over. He sighed. "Ugh."
Dani and Devon exchanged looks.
Devon: I have no idea what that was about, but how does Ori know a washed up celebrity? Maybe they were friends. Either way, why was he trying to hide it?
Ori: The truth is I was a dance kid when I was younger. Before I went on Toad-al Drama, my mom got me a gig in the movie Hairspray. She tried to get me to go to Broadway, but I refused. I was just so afraid I would fail, and I can't have anyone know that I... did musical theatre. Who would respect me?
While nearly half of the contestants had dropped out, eight remained: Dani, Devon, Henry, Isaac, Josie, Mona, Morgan, and Tess.
"How are you doing this?" Dani asked Henry. "You don't seem… too in shape."
As he kept dancing, he smirked at her. "I was a theatre kid in high school. And debate, too, but a lot of theatre. I got the lead a couple times."
Henry: Some might say that I'm a good actor. I wouldn't disagree.
"That's cool," Dani told him, trying to focus on her steps. "I never did any of that. Not that I ever really wanted to. I can dance at home if I want to. I don't need to waste time at school for that."
Henry shrugged and in doing so missed a step. Before he could continue, Nikki Blonsky appeared him and pushed him to the ground.
"Ha ha, sorry about that. We should hang out sometime, though."
After seeing how Nikki Blonsky womanhandled Henry, the other contestants kicked themselves into overdrive, and nobody missed a beat for the next ten minutes. Nikki Blonsky was about to let them rest so she could show them a new set when Morgan tripped over her own feet, sending herself and Isaac flying into the audience.
"Sorry, man," she said, picking herself up from the ground. Isaac didn't respond, but instead shot her a dirty look.
Isaac: I was in the groove, okay?
"Isaac! Are you okay?" Mona stopped dancing and jumped off the stage, rushing to Isaac's side. "Did she hurt you?"
Isaac groaned, but sat up. "I'm fine. It's okay. Hey, wait, you're out of the challenge."
"Yeah, she is." Josie laughed as she danced. "She's out, and can't win. What a shame!"
"How are you even still in?" Mona said. She helped Isaac to his feet and then walked to the foot of the stage. "You're what, forty? How have your bones not given in yet?"
Josie smiled. "I'm an actress. I've taken years of dance lessons, and this challenge is going to be my bitch."
In awe of her attitude, Nikki Blonsky chose not to interrupt the challenge, and given that there were only four people left, let them repeat the same routine from before. Within just two minutes, Tess and Dani had fallen, leaving only Devon and Josie still dancing.
"Josie, how bad you do want this?" Devon asked in between spins. "Because if you keep me safe, I'm fine stopping."
Josie nodded as she dipped forward. "You're nowhere on my radar, kid."
As soon as Josie said that, Devon stood still. Nikki Blonsky then ran towards him, trampled him to the ground, and continued over to Josie to wrap her into a hug.
"Oh my gosh congratulations! I'm Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray and I'm so excited that you won!"
"Put me down."
Nikki Blonsky put her down, but still smiled. She didn't blink. Not even once.
"Great job, everyone," Blaineley said, climbing the steps to the stage. "Josie, you get to decide two people to put on the chopping block. I'll give you time to decide and-"
"No need," Josie said. "I'm putting Mona and Isaac on the chopping block. Sorry Isaac, I know we had a thing, but I want her out of the picture before we get anything going."
Isaac looked at Josie, then at Mona, and then back at Josie. "What?"
Isaac: I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. None. She's eighty years old!
"Oh," Blaineley said. "Well, there goes any suspense. Fine. Well, we'll head back to the ship so you guys can have some time to discuss." She eyed Isaac up and down and smirked. "Though I don't see any reason why you'd need to." She winked at him, and then walked through the theatre beckoning for everyone to follow her.
Within thirty minutes, they were back on the cruise, and everyone had split off into groups. Trisha, Hudson, Anita, and Dani had gathered in the dining room to talk.
Anita flipped her silky black hair. "I think I'm voting out Isaac."
"Why?" Dani asked. "He seems dumb. Mona doesn't."
Anita shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just like Mona more.
Trisha nodded. "I do, too."
"But I don't," Dani said. "She's never made an effort to talk to me."
"Has Isaac?" Hudson pointed out. "Did you make an effort to talk to them?"
Dani: My alliance is ignoring me. Great. Not really sure why, since I'm thinking logically, but I guess they can't do that. I just need to find new people to work with. People that will take me seriously… unlike them.
Dani walked into the sauna to find Ori, Morgan, and Devon relaxing.
"Guys, I have a plan, but I'm not sure if I have the numbers," she said, sitting down next to Morgan. "Ugh. I just… I want to do something."
"Aren't you going to take your towel off first?" Morgan said.
The camera zoomed out to show that Dani was fully dressed while Ori, Morgan, and Devon were all dressed only in towels.
"No."
Morgan: I get where Dani is coming from. She said her friends won't listen to her. That sucks. But I just don't wanna make no waves right now.
Isaac: After the challenge Mona pulled me aside and said we couldn't talk to anyone or campaign against each other, which I get. I just hope that doesn't bite me in the ass.
About thirty minutes later, everyone gathered next to the pool for the vote. Mona came out of the bathroom with Dani and Morgan with a smile on her face, but the smile quickly faded when she sat down next to Isaac.
Blaineley stood in front of them. "Per usual, you two will not get to plead your cases here. One because I do not care, and two because I want this moment to be about me. So, one by one, the rest of you will vote one of Isaac or Morgan out. Understand?"
Grunts and murmurs of approval were heard.
"Good, now, Tess, you're up first."
Tess: Maybe it's a good thing this showmance is being broken up… Hopefully, it's a good omen for me.
Nicholas: This vote is easy logistically. One of them is good for me. The other is not. Goodbye, cretin.
Yejide: Like the last elimination, the spirits are moving me to vote one way. Will I follow? Most likely. The spirits are fickle but I am not.
As Yejide came back to her seat, Blaineley turned to face Isaac and Mona. "The votes are in," she said. "And by a vote of 9-3… Isaac, you have been eliminated. Please head to the Liferaft of Losers, where you'll be pushed overboard. You won't be missed."
Isaac and Mona quickly embraced before Isaac got up and headed to the liferaft. However, Mona followed him there.
"We'll see each other soon," she said, not aware that nobody was going to be picking up his liferaft.
"We'll see each other soon," he responded.
They kissed for just a second before Isaac pulled away and boarded the liferaft. Before Mona could catch her breath, Chef Hatchet dropped Isaac into the water and chuckled as he walked away.
Mona: That sucked. I feel bad that I sold him out, but I need to win this game. There's plenty of hot boys at home, but there's not really that much money.
"And there you have it, folks." Blaineley stepped into the captain's quarters to put all the attention on herself and not the contestants. "Another episode of Total Drama Odyssey! Mona betrayed Isaac, and soon, maybe Tess will do the same to her lover. Will love ever win? Maybe not, but find out next time on Total Drama Odyssey!"
