Day Four - Breakdown


Prompt: Meeting, share, secrets, rain

Settings: Canon divergence

906 words


For once, Kagome did not mind the rain.

It suited her mood perfectly. Moreover, it camouflaged her tears.

Most of the time, it was easy to keep a smile on her face.

Sometimes, however, it just all became too much and the feelings and thoughts she usually kept at bay by cheer and stubbornness pushed through and ambushed her.

The tender affection she held for Inuyasha and feared wasn't returned in full. The guilt over shattering the Shikon no Tama. The dangers they constantly faced in their quest to claim the shards. The stress from having to shoulder a double life, and the weird sense of being in-between, of no longer truly belonging to either time.

And last but not least, the nagging doubt whether or not she and her friends were going to survive this after all; whether Naraku would prove to be too big a foe for them in the end.

Death and doom were something Kagome usually did not like to dwell upon.

But days like these were different; days when she was too tired, too hurt, too afraid to keep from thinking about those gloomy possibilities.

Slumped on the ground, Kagome's tears slid silently down her cheeks. Her clothes were soaking in the cold rain, starting to cling to her skin. Her fingers were clenching the wet grass before her.

She'd had these breakdowns before and knew that the only way out was to let herself go and ride that wave of negative emotions; cry herself out.

Tomorrow, she'd wake up feeling better. Tomorrow, she would push the fear and the guilt and the worry back into the box she usually kept them locked in. Tomorrow, she would shoulder all the stress with her spine straight and steeled.

But there were still many long dark hours ahead before that.

Kagome could almost see them stretching out before her, every exhausting, tear-soaked moment.

"What are you doing?"

Kagome nearly jumped out of her clammy wet skin. She turned around and saw the last person she'd expect to meet in a forest in the middle of the night.

He was glaring down at her, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

"Answer me, miko!"

Kagome swallowed. She really didn't want to talk right now. Not with anyone; definitely not with him.

But he was already annoyed and didn't seem to be going anywhere.

She met his golden gaze.

"I'm having a cry."

Sesshoumaru frowned at her answer. The hand resting on the hilt of his sword flexed.

"Out here, in the rain? At night? Alone?"

That must have been the most words he'd ever spoken to her.

Kagome shrugged her shoulders.

"Yes."

Having spent so much time with Inuyasha, she was half-braced for the next words out of his mouth to be a variation of "are you out of your damn mind?"

Instead, she got a single word that stopped her heart.

"Why?"

Kagome considered the question. Did he want to know why was she out at night alone in the rain or why was she having a cry?

The latter, she did not particularly want to answer. She had not shared these dark feelings with anyone, not even her friends. Until now, when he'd found her, these breakdowns had been the deep dark secret she'd kept tight to her chest.

But there stood Sesshoumaru, towering over her and scowling while he expected her to answer.

Swallowing a sigh, she gave him what he wanted, choosing the safer option.

"Because I needed to cry and I didn't want anyone to know or see."

For a long silent moment, they stared at one another.

She was sure now he would ask why she was crying in the first place and then Kagome would be driven into a corner.

But Sesshoumaru said nothing.

He turned his back towards her and stepped away.

Confused, Kagome frowned at his rigid back.

"What are you doing?"

"Respecting your wish not to be seen."

Kagome's mind screeched into a halt. Stuttered. Boggled.

If he wanted to respect her wishes, what was he still doing here? Why didn't he just walk away and leave her alone?

This was Sesshoumaru after all, he must've preferred solitude to her company.

Kagome was so preoccupied wondering about what the heck was going on with Sesshoumaru that she hadn't even noticed her tears had dried.

Trying to puzzle out his peculiar behaviour had pushed aside the wild torrent of negativity she'd been wallowing in, and Kagome could already feel her mind clearing, her emotions once again starting to find their equilibrium.

She shivered, realising for the first time how cold she was.

She hissed in a sharp breath and hugged herself – and found she was staring into Sesshoumaru's eyes.

He had turned around and was studying her, still seeming angry.

He strode towards her, in quick purposeful strides.

Kagome flinched and squeezed her eyes shut.

Something warm, heavy and soft landed on her shoulders.

Kagome's eyes fluttered open.

Sesshoumaru looked odd as he stood before her. Smaller, somehow.

Then she realised he'd taken that enormous white pelt off his shoulder and draped it over hers.

"Go back to your friends," he told her, his cold tone brooking no argument. "Get rest."

Kagome nodded dumbly, but it took her a long moment staring at Sesshoumaru's retreating back and clutching the soft warm fur closer around herself before she could will her feet to move.