Clintasha oneshot of the month, just how you like it - short, cheesy, and super late!
I just wanted to write an Easter fic and this is what I came up with. Hope you enjoy!
"Hi, Natasha."
Romanoff looked up from her report and froze. Clint Barton was standing in the doorway of the report office, grinning at her from behind what looked like a white plastic muzzle, complete with whiskers, a pink nose, and two enormous front teeth. A pair of what could, with some imagination, have been oversized ears were perched atop his head, one of them slightly bent and flopping.
Her expression must have been priceless, because Barton burst out laughing.
"What do you think?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.
Romanoff put her head to one side, studying his strange new getup. She wasn't sure what to think – she wasn't really sure what look he was going for. Of course, it those white things on his head were supposed to be ears, then…
"It's a rabbit," she said finally.
Barton looked affronted. "Not a rabbit. A bunny."
"Those terms are interchangeable."
"Not in this case," Barton disagreed. "I'm a bunny – the Easter Bunny, to be exact."
Romanoff had heard of the Easter Bunny, but knew little about it, other than that it was a fictional character associated with holidays, like Santa Claus. Curious, she said, "Which is…?"
Barton's jaw went slack; the plastic bunny nose dropped off his face. "Do you not know who the Easter Bunny is?"
Romanoff shrugged.
Barton pulled up the chair next to her and plopped himself into it. "Well, the Easter Bunny's… you know… the bunny of Easter. He brings candy to all the good children. Also eggs."
"Rabbits don't lay eggs."
"Bunnies. And I know they don't – the Easter Bunny doesn't lay the eggs; he just distributes them."
"Then where does he get them from?"
Barton spread his hands helplessly. "Do I look like an expert on the Easter Bunny's egg-procurement habits?"
Romanoff raised an eyebrow and glanced pointedly at the crooked bunny ears on his head.
Barton grinned sheepishly. "Yeah. Good point. I guess I haven't really thought deeply about where the Easter Bunny gets his goodies," he mused. "Guess I should read up on that. I mean, the Easter Bunny bringing candy is kinda what Easter is all about."
"I thought it was about Jesus."
Bartin shrugged. "Same difference."
"Barton?" Coulson stepped into the doorway, sporting a tie with a chick-and-egg pattern.
"Hey, Coulson." Barton popped the false nose onto his face again and smiled winningly. "What do you think?"
"Fetching," Coulson said. "Commander Hill needs you down the hall."
"Yeah, my briefing's in five minutes, right?" Barton said, lounging in his chair.
"Try five minutes ago."
Barton grimaced. "Shoot. I'll just be a minute."
Coulson looked skeptical, but he nodded and headed off.
"Anyways," Barton said. "Back to why I'm here. As the Easter Bunny, it is my job to give you this." He produced a melty bar of chocolate, already opened. "If some of it's gone, blame the Easter Bunny, not me."
Romanoff returned to her report. "Looks like this Easter Bunny gets his candy from the vending machine."
"That hurts me, Tasha. Wounds me deep."
Romanoff rolled her eyes.
Barton bumped her shoulder with his wrist. "Here, take it."
"You're such a child."
"What do I care? Here." Barton slid the candy over to her report. "Save it for later."
It was the first gift Romanoff could ever remember getting. She was pleased, but unsure how to respond.
Barton hopped to his feet. "See you later, Natasha!" he said cheerfully, turning to leave.
Romanoff watched him go, and something that felt suspiciously like a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
As far as first Easters went, this wasn't so bad.
Side note: I'm not sure whether I'll be able to post next month. May is finals month, so I may be too swamped with studying to jot something down. We'll see...
