Ch. 2 Carlisle and Renee's story
A/N: Just so everyone knows in this chapter there will be talk of sexual assault. If this is a trigger for you please beware. I will note when this content starts and ends for your comfort. Thanks everyone for the follows and positive responses.
Carlisle's POV
'Wow, she looks exactly like her mother.'
As I retrieved two bottles of water from the fridge I wondered how I could tell her the truth. Obviously based on her question she does not know. I walked into the living room and sat across from her with a heavy sigh. This would be a long night of that I was sure.
"Your mother and I began dating her senior year of high school. I was a freshman in college and we did our best to date despite the distance. We dated for 5 years. I don't know what your mother told you but you should think about asking her some of these questions that you have." I was feeling very nervous.
What if Renee didn't want Bella to know? What if they had been put into some sort of witness protection program?
"I can't ask her Mr. Cullen because she was hit by a car 3 years ago...She died a few weeks later and I never got any information once she was gone. No explanation or anything. She was barely conscious before she passed but she kept saying she was sorry but wouldn't say what for..." She said with tears in her eyes.
"I'm very sorry to hear that..I would have liked to reconnect with her." I said as I gently laid my hand on her arm.
"It doesn't matter now...I just want to know what she was so sorry about...She barely had anything to do with me all my life so I guess that could be why...It always seemed like she didn't love me...Did she even want me? You were there at the very end before I was born..." She asked desperately.
I didn't know what to tell her.
"Your mother was very scared Bella. She didn't know how to be a mother. To make you understand I need to tell you something that will be very hard for you to hear..." I said as I leaned forward to look into her downcast eyes.
"OK..." She said meekly. It broke my heart to know that she wasn't taken care of.
"I'm not your father, but I so desperately wish that I could have been...I wanted to...a few days after this picture was taken your mother disappeared...gone without a trace. I searched for over 5 years before I realized that she didn't want to be found or at least not by me." I took a deep breathe before continuing.
(A/N: heres the start of the trigger warning!)
"When your mother was in her senior year of college and I was in my first year of med school we went to a party that one of her classmates was throwing. We were engaged at that point and I left early to get some studying done and I can honestly say that I wished I hadn't...I received a call from the hospital a few hours later...they told me that my fiance had been brought in and I should come right away." I ran my fingers through my hair.
"When I got there I was told that your mother had been sexually assaulted. She refused to see me thinking that I would break up with her or blame her or something crazy like that...I eventually convinced her that nothing had changed on my end and we very cautiously carried on with life...she saw a therapist and so did I. A few weeks later we found out that she was pregnant with you...I still wanted to be with her no matter what and I was going to raise you as my own." I paused to let her take it all in.
(A/N: bad part over :))
"ok so let me get this straight she didn't know who my father was cause she was...you know...and you were still going to marry her and raise me as your own?" She asked in disbelief.
"yes...We did stay together getting ready for your arrival, reading all the books, taking birthing classes...When we found out that you were a girl we picked your name together...nice to know that she at least kept your first name...may I ask what's your middle name?" I asked with a slight smile.
"Rose...Isabella Rose Higgenbotham" She said confidently.
"Isabella, because no matter what I knew you would be beautiful...Rose after my grandmother and sister..." I said reverently, looking at her as she blushed.
"So then what? Obviously things were going as well as could be expected and I understand why she was scared but why leave?" She asked.
"That I can not tell you...because I don't know...I went to class one morning and when I returned here she and all her belongings were gone...she left everything we had bought together for you. No note, no goodbye, no contact after that...I had hoped that once she gave birth to you that she would call and at least let me know you were alive and well...but she didn't." I said sadly.
"Once you stopped looking did you ever think of me? I mean looking around I see the pictures of you with a little boy...Is he your son? nephew? Did they ever figure out who my sperm donor was? was he caught?" She rapidly fired questions at me.
" That little boy is my son Jasper...He is 6 years old...he is with his aunt Rose right now...They never figured out who it was cause they were going to compare the DNA with yours when you were born...but no one could find you...so no he was never caught...I suppose you could find out now to get your mother justice but that is your choice. Just know that whatever you decide to do you can come to me for anything. I thought about you all the time...everytime I saw a little brunette girl I imagined that it was you...that Renee had decided to come back to me...I celebrated every one of your birthday's on your due date by buying a card and adding money into a trust fund, Graduations too. I thought of you as my daughter even though you weren't with me." I told her sincerely.
She stared at me for a moment before looking away as a tear fell from her eye.
"I wish she would have stayed...maybe then...you know what? it doesn't matter, she didn't so theres nothing to be done about it now." She said, mostly, I'm assuming, to herself.
"Tell me about yourself? What was your life like growing up? Did you go to college?" I asked, wanting to know about my should be daughter.
"Renee was very aloof, I never really felt as though I was welcome in her life...I was an intrusion in our home. We lived in a lot of places, mostly run down apartment buildings where I spent most of my time alone. We almost never had electricity and we only had food if I took the bus to the grocery store...She dated a few times and they were usually creeps. I did go to college, to Yale. I graduated last year." She said as she looked anywhere but at me.
"I'm sorry..." I murmured. Oh how I wished to be able to take her in my arms and show her the love that she obviously didn't receive as a child.
"Can you...can I..." She started and sighed heavily. I cocked my head at her. "Can I hug you?" She asked and before she could become embarrassed she was in my arms, sobbing into my shirt.
My poor little girl.
