Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I make no profit writing about it. Ditto for Highschool DxD.

(AN): What a week. Played a lot of EUIV and tried to overcome muh Turks and muh French and muh Danes and muh Poles and muh Russians.


After three days of living in what was little more than a well-lit cave, Naruto was starting to get just a little prickly. Conversation with Sasuke had gotten stilted after the first day since neither of them felt like it would be a great idea to start talking about their life in Gehenna while surrounded by shinobi.

It was like there was an invisible line dividing one world from the other, and neither wanted to cross it.

Or maybe they just didn't want to face the judgement that would probably be in their comrades' eyes when everyone realized that while the shinobi had been fighting and dying, Naruto and Sasuke had been living it up. Things in Hell had been pretty damned luxurious, and they'd made no real efforts to find a way back home.

Sighing explosively, Naruto pressed his face closer into the thin mattress of his rusted cot and shoved those heavy thoughts away. It was better that he dwelled on something more mundane, like that fact that he was bored out of his mind!

At the least he'd hoped that his old friends would take advantage of the time before the storm to drop by and catch up, but the only person he'd seen besides Sasuke was Shikamaru. And while the strategist would answer Naruto's questions, it wasn't the same as speaking to the actual people he once called nakama.

"Stop whining. It's annoying." Sasuke demanded coolly, his dim red gaze shifting away from counting the cracks in the ceiling to stare at Naruto's prone form. There was no heat in his words, just a steel-edged sort of resignation. It was like all the passion had been drained out of Sasuke, leaving only an unbending need to succeed and a willingness to endure beyond human limits.

Naruto had an inkling that was how Uchiha had dealt with the endless tension on the front lines of the war with Mictlan, and wondered if he'd turn out to be just as jaded over the next few months. It was a frightening thought.

Rolling onto his back, Naruto gazed up at the sandstone ceiling with a clenched jaw. "I hate this." He confessed, knowing Sasuke would understand exactly what he meant. He hated not knowing how their friends back in Gehenna were doing. He hated waking up in a world where everything had gone so horrifically wrong. He hated seeing the broken pieces of his friends that had been left behind by war and violence. The destruction of Lee's eyes, the loss of Kiba's legs, the deaths of Tenten and Hinata and Sai and all the rest – he hated it all.

And most of all, Naruto hated the way that he no longer understood anyone around him. He was surrounded by familiar strangers in what had become a land foreign to his memories. Nothing and no one were the way he remembered them, and the longer he looked the more the rose tint faded from his eyes. What exactly had he missed so desperately?


A quiet jolt of sorcery sent warmth back into her cooled mug of hot chocolate, and with a quiet sip Ravel considered Naruto's swaggering steps. Or rather, she considered the self-confident gait Rias made as she moved her nephew's body back and forth across the lounge. "Try and make it just a touch less effusive and I think you'll have it."

"Try to frown a bit less." Akeno chimed in, shifting her teal gaze up briefly before returning to the paper crane she was folding.

Just as Rias was settling into Naruto's body, Akeno was getting used to Rias'. It was an ongoing project, since while they'd been comfortable enough to be seen briefly passing through by the unfamiliar public, there was always the possibility that those who actually knew Naruto and Rias would pick up on something being wrong.

The quest for the perfect façade had turned a bit neurotic, if Ravel was entirely honest. Not that she blamed the others considering the enormity of the secret they were trying to contain. One mistake could lead to their collective ruin.

Smoothing the muscles of her brow, Rias quirked the edge of Naruto's mouth up in a lopsided grin and winked at Ravel. "Better?"

"Better."

Giving a tired sigh of relief, Rias flopped down in a faded green armchair and slung her knees over the side in a lazy gesture that was more like the boy she was pretending to be than her true self. "I hope we're ready for this." She muttered, knuckling at the bridge of her nose. In just a few short hours they'd be meeting her parents for an informal supper, and they'd finally find out if all their practicing could hold up the ruse.

A sudden knock at the door startled the three young women into watchful stillness, drawing their stares to the dark double doors.

Rias and Akeno traded looks before the Thunder Priestess grimaced and mimicked Rias' cultured tones. "You may enter."

There was no creak from the well-oiled hinges as Yuuto cracked open the door and poked his head in. Rather than offer words, the blond Knight just gave a strained smile before shoving the door fully open to lead Ophis in.

Koneko dogged at the Ouroboros Dragons' heels, amber orbs drilling into the back of the gothic lolita's head. Her semi-hostile vigilance was a visible expression of the inner feelings of both peerages, who'd reluctantly accepted that the goddess was part of their life now; knowing there was little they could really do but accommodate Ophis' whims.

Without Ophis, they had no chance of getting Naruto or Sasuke back.

But that didn't mean that dealing with her dictates and lack of regard didn't rankle.

"What can we do for you?" Rias greeted, skipping over the pleasantries she knew Ophis didn't really care about.

Ophis' expression remained placid as she considered the two young women. "You are taking advantage of the artifacts I created for you. Do not use them for longer than six hours at a time. Your life force is being drained to sustain the possession, and your true bodies may expire if you exceed that limit."

The look Yuuto gave her was utterly horrified, but Rias brushed it off; just like she brushed off the sudden chill of fear in her gut. They'd never used the crystals for longer than four hours at a time, so it wasn't like she had come near to accidentally killing herself. "Thank you for the warning, but I doubt giving it is why you came here today."

"Indeed." Letting her focus drift idly from one face to the next, Ophis finally settled on squarely meeting Valerie's timid crimson eyes. "While they are in the other world Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke have no method of independently contacting me, and I have no desire to constantly observe them. Their chakra would be unable to interface with any relics I gave them. Therefore, I will transport two of you to that world and give you the ability to call on me."

Ravel's first instinct was to volunteer herself, but she only got as far as setting her mug of cocoa to the side before her rational side reasserted itself. She doubted that Ophis was going to be a daily ferry, so whoever was brought dimension hopping would be in for the long haul. Rias couldn't go because she had to pretend to be Naruto, Akeno couldn't go because she had to pretend to be Rias, and Ravel herself couldn't go because she had a high profile of her own.

If the pinched quality Rias gave Naruto's mouth was any indication, the Ruin Princess had come to the same conclusion as Ravel.

"I will go." Koneko declared neutrally, folding her hands behind her back with all the rigid tension of a trained soldier. "Yuuto may be needed to act as Rias' escort to social events, and Gasper is too young to be involved in this."

"Very well." Ophis accepted before anyone could raise an objection. "And the other?"

"What do you mean 'other'?" Rias questioned sharply, the baritone in her borrowed voice rumbling with hints of tense displeasure. "Surely you only need to borrow one of us?" Maybe it was a bit petty of her, but their little family was already strained at the seams. Why did Ophis seem so content to scatter them to the winds?

For the first time since she'd entered the room Ophis' blank façade slid away, with her eyebrows pinching together in irritation and impatience. "Naruto and Sasuke will not necessarily travel together. In fact, based on the babblings of those humans they are currently aligned with, they will make a habit of operating separately. Therefore, it would be more prudent if they each travelled with someone capable of making contract with me. I have no desire to squander the investment I have made in them because of sentiment. Now, who is the other?"

Rias clenched her jaw, but subsided into sullen silence when Akeno placed a cautionary hand on her shoulder.

"It's me." Valerie spoke up, breaking the tense stillness with an unusual steel note to her voice. Even her slitted red eyes had shifted from quiet anxiety to a gentle sort of determination. "There's no one else who can go, unless we tell other people about Naruto's secret. Which I'm not going to do, and which I'm not going to let anyone else here do. So, it has to be me."

"Yeah." Ravel sighed to herself, ducking her head down and picking at the edge of her fingernail to hide her discontented expression. "It does."


Naruto wrinkled his nose at the smell of horseflesh, pulling his kasa down to better cover his eyes and absently chewing the stalk of wheat he'd plucked from the roadside. They might still be in southern marches of Hi no Kuni patrolled by Konoha-nin, but the demarcation line was rolling closer with every second and his disguise needed to hold up until the last possible moment.

"I don't suppose you've got a bit more of that jerky?" Naruto prodded the driver as he leaned back against the straw-filled cart, rubbing a hand over his rumbling belly and wishing they'd been given rations of ramen rather than dried beef. "I'm starving!"

A thick-set brown moustache twitched as the driver – whose name Naruto really couldn't remember – glared out of the corner of his verdant eyes. "No." the Suna-nin intoned deeply, looking like he was swallowing down a barrage of prickly curses. The obvious frustration was almost enough to make Naruto feel sorry for the guy.

Almost. The driver was just too much of a prick for Naruto to feel real contrition.

"Alright, alright, fine." The jinchuuriki moaned lowly, rubbing a knuckle into the thick-smeared makeup that hid his birthmarks. "There's no need to get your panties in a bunch over it."

"Hmph."

Rolling his eyes at the dismissal, Naruto let his focus drift back out over the grassy countryside. The warm sun beaming down over the enormous prairie was nostalgic. How many dozens of times had he seen a similar landscape when he'd gone to visit Gaara for a while all those years ago? The sight made him feel just a little bit closer to home, as opposed to the creeping alienation he'd experienced living underground in Suna.

"Do you think they're already there?" the blond questioned vaguely to break the silence. 'Them' being Sasuke's group and 'there' being the point of invasion. The final plan had first contact expected for high noon – rather than in the middle of the night like a cliché – and Naruto's own caravan was right on schedule. But was Sasuke on time, or had the Uchiha been delayed? Maybe Sasuke's status as a literal zombie made him push on faster than Naruto's convoy.

It wasn't that Naruto was worried about Sasuke per se, but he still liked to know what was going on. Especially now that he'd come back to find half his friends dead or crippled simply because he wasn't around to watch over them.

"No. There's no reason to expect them to be, and our friends are a pretty punctual sort. They wouldn't have pushed through the night and risked a lame horse." The reply was absent and meandering, which was exactly the sort of response any watching Kumo-nin might expect out of a real civilian farmer.

Or from two ninja in disguise with another six hidden in the hay behind them, pretending to be nothing more than a pair of rubes.

The blast of flame and fury was as sudden as a thunderbolt, slamming into the side of the cart and making it explode into a conflagration of woodchips, grass seed, and swollen embers.

"Contact left!" Was shouted in the vicinity of Naruto's feet, and with a slow sigh he realized that he'd been blown off to lay spread-eagled in the ditch.

Rolling languidly to his feet, Naruto dusted the soot from his green tunic. "And this is why you should let me use sage mode, ya idiots." He mumbled, cracking his neck and wiping a bit of soot from his cheek before finally turning to consider the battlefield.

Streaks of dark brown flitted over the grasslands to the north as a squad of Iwa shinobi dodged his team's attempts to return fire. The air was full of ash and the coppery scent of blood, and Naruto knew that one of the men placed under his command had died in the first strike. He spared an absent thought of regret for the loss before putting it out of his mind.

The surprise had whittled things down to ten on seven, not counting Naruto himself.

Evidently, their disguise had been less perfect than they'd hoped, but better than they'd feared. A squad of ten is what Kumo might sent to be part of a routine border skirmish. It wasn't nearly enough to fight off a sustained invasion, especially when the attacking team had a jinchuuriki at their backs.

Naruto gave his shoulders a final roll to work out the kinks, and then opened himself up to Kurama.

The sensation of red demonic chakra seething into his system hit the blond like a drug, shrinking his slitted pupils to pinpricks and making his heart thunder in his chest. It was only a fraction of the power Kurama could give him, but the burn was so nostalgic and invigorating that Naruto found himself giving an involuntary feral grin.

It had been too long since he'd been in true open battle like he'd been born for, and even though he could kick the ass of every shinobi on the field with one arm tied behind his back; Naruto wanted to give himself over to the joy of battle. A few back-alley fights in Azmarin had nothing on real ninja combat.

Rocketing forward like an arrow launched from a bowstring, Naruto barreled right past his startled allies and picked out his first target. A green eyed blonde-haired Iwa jounin swiftly found himself with a knee to the face, knocking him out instantly and leaving Naruto profoundly unsatisfied.

"Oh, come on, is that all you guys have?" he complained, turning on the spot to face a shocked red-haired woman. "I'll even give you the first shot." Naruto offered, letting his arms flop lazily to his sides. "Make it count."

The combination of nonchalance and implied mockery was enough to push the woman from surprise to anger, and with a heavy surge of chakra she formed three one handed seals. A thick spray of lava burst from her mouth, glowing bright orange and setting the grassland aflame in a dozen places as the torrent arced towards her target.

Naruto blinked and hopped to the side, clearing several yards in a single bound and quirking an eyebrow as the continuous stream of magma followed. "You wouldn't happen to be related to the old Mizukage, would ya?" he wondered aloud, not bothering to wait for an answer as he ducked low and lunged.

The smack of his fist on the tender flesh of the redhead's stomach was loud enough to be heard over the clash of combat surrounding them, and Naruto winced as she collapsed bonelessly over his arm. He'd been trying to scale back the power in his strike, but it was still a one hit knockout. Twenty years in Gehenna hadn't done anything for his control, and he'd forgotten just how much stronger he was than the common shinobi.

"They're all weak." Kurama rumbled, irritated at his host's antics. The bijuu's disapproval prompted a scowl from his host.

"So I'll just go after them like they're made of wet paper." Naruto shot back, quickly engaging a ponytailed brunette. This time his punch was only enough to knock the man back, rather than disable his opponent completely. "And why does it bother you so much anyway?"

"It's a waste of our time."

Naruto disagreed, but he knew that Kurama would never agree with him on this, so there was no point in arguing over it. The fox only found joy in overcoming strong opponents or in mercilessly crushing weak challengers. The thought of trying to meet someone on the field of combat with equal strength simply to feel the joy of pitting skill against skill held no appeal to Kurama.

Blocking an overhead axe kick with his forearms, Naruto decided Kurama's boredom didn't matter in the long run anyway. Soon enough the real invasion would begin and he'd be expected to overwhelm the opposition as Konoha's secret superweapon, which would satisfy the fox's preferences.

But until then Naruto wanted to at least enjoy himself. As a devil Naruto had trained himself to fight with sword and sorcery, relying on the refined training demanded of a scion of the Gremory clan. Here and now, in his old body, he could return to his roots as a brawler and finally let himself go. "Bring it on!"


(AN): Another 3000.

Smut – I think I gave the wrong impression. I'm not cutting it because of complaints. I'm being cautious. I want to push some boundaries and get explicit, which I've never really done before, and I'd rather post short chapters than have ffnet purge the story because I described in graphic detail Ravel walking around all day with one of those love eggs in her pussy or something.

Naruto being alive – I thought this was implied through Sakura's thoughts/words. They revived them to fight, but after the war they intend for Sasuke to go back to his rest. Naruto is alive because he's intended to serve as a nuclear deterrent as well as legitimize the regime.