I was out of my mind, today, with worry. Everyone said I couldn't call her. Her mother left some messages on our phone. I relayed them to the other girls from Muse, except Nozomi, who seems to have latched on to being the conduit for things relating to her.

Yesterday, I was in no mood at all to start my second term. School just seemed stupid and trivial. But even in my crappy mood, I had no idea what I would encounter.

She was there - at school! We'd been told she was just out of the hospital, and any sane person would have assumed, on medical grounds, she'd be allowed at least a couple of weeks to convalesce. She had a broken arm and leg on her right side still healing, not to mention the other injuries that had been mostly fixed up in the hospital over time.

Apparently, Principal Minami wanted her to come to school. I think Niko got Kotori to promise not to tell her mother exactly how dire the Yazawa family situation is. She probably imagined they'd wait, and that when Niko was getting around well, she'd be driven to school. But no. Her mother was easily frightened by school authorities and they decided to send Niko to talk to the principal right out of her hospital bed. And Niko dutifully, no doubt, caught a damn train and limped along to school with her crutches. One of them under a broken arm.

If they are going to direct everything through Nozomi, I think Nozomi has something to answer for. Or that's what I thought before the crappiest thing of all happened.

I couldn't help myself. I said "Niko ... kami-sama" and even put my hand over my mouth like a girly princess. She heard her name and looked at me. She said "Do I know you, Onee-san?" like a little kid. Then, embarrassed, she mumbled something like ".. sempai?"

She was fighting tears from the pain, so I could tell it wasn't some sick joke. Like something in a movie, she really didn't know me. She didn't know me.

I couldn't deal with it. I almost couldn't stand. I just sort of waved her away. She got that furious look she used to get with me. In a way, it was nostalgic, if it weren't so horrifying.

Rin and Hanayo always say I pay no attention to my feelings until I get one of my stomach aches. Well, okay, feelings, you have my attention. I think Maki is going to skip school tomorrow.