A.N. Hey everyone, I know I tend to go on hiatus after posting one or two chapters. But for the past few weeks I have lost a sense of purpose in writing. My grandmother Claire passed away in November, and this is the first time I've lost someone who was extremely close to me. She passed two weeks after my nineteenth birthday and this year will by first year of Christmas without her. If it wasn't for her I would've never found my love for writing. She showed me the magic in reading and helped me step by step in school. She raised me and took care of me every day until I had to take care of her. I will always remember telling her I loved her and holding her hand on my last day with her. I appreciate all of you for your understanding and I'm grateful to have people come back to the story after my long hiatus. I love you all.
Earth,
Steve sat in the living room of his home, he had returned briefly after chasing all his leads on Rumlow. He took a large gulp of beer, he knew it would be almost impossible for him to get drunk but he wanted to try. He kept drinking until his body ached for sleep, as he walked down the hall his hand gently moved across all the photos of Kida.
He walked to his closet and turned on the light, the closet still contained Kida's clothes. His eyes went to Kida's clothes, he could see her in each one of them. He gently touched the shirts and pulled out one her sweatshirts, he held it close and her perfume flew up to his nose. He closed his eyes as he hugged the sweatshirt and imagined the feeling of Kida in his arms. He dragged himself back to the bed and lied down with the sweatshirt beside him in Kida's spot.
Avengers Base,
Natasha sat alone in her office, everyone else on the floor had left to go home but she needed to work. She needed to put her mind away from Kida, but it was a never ending battle. Even little things reminded her of Kida. The smell of Columbian coffee and vanilla, the book she had in her office Kida used to write a book report, and the small glass and gold statue of a dancer Kida had given her for birthday. She typed furiously on the computer and with each misspelling and auto correction she grew more annoyed. Until she ultimately pushed herself away from the computer and turned to her phone.
She unlocked it and went to her voicemail, as a spy you mustn't leave any trace from your life. But Natasha couldn't compel herself to delete all the voicemails Kida had left her. She swallowed the lump in her throat and hit play.
"Happy Birthday Nat! I'm over in Istanbul right now but I couldn't miss your birthday, I hope you got the gift from me. I saw the little statue and it and it made me think of you so, I'll call you back and when I get back to the base we're going to celebrate."
"Hey I hope you're not busy but when you're free give me a call and I'll plan a little get together for us. Talk to you later."
"Hey Nat whenever you're free just give me a call, haven't seen you in a while and I hope everything is ok."
"Hey Nat it's me, Steve is out and I think you and I deserve a girls night out. I'll be there in a few minutes and I'm not taking no for an answer."
Natasha had to stop the recording, Kida would call a lot. But she would just push that aside, Kida wanted to make plans and hoped for her to call her back. Natasha just pushed it aside and decided to call her back later, but she didn't call back. Tears flowed down her face as she covered it with her hands, not for the loss of Kida but of the guilt. She should've called back, she should've talked to her more, show more appreciation for her friend. But she let work get between them and push them away.
"I'm so sorry Kida." She whispered
Avengers Tower,
Tony stumbled his way back to his room, the alcohol made the hallway spin and blur the doors leading to Kida's room. He put the glass of whiskey on his nightstand and fell onto the mattress, accidently waking up Pepper.
"Tony?" She mumbled "Tony? Have you been drinking?"
"No…no…it's fine go back to bed." Pepper stood up and turned on the light.
"No Tony it's not fine! It's three in the morning and you reek of booze."
"Go back to bed Pepper!" Tony grabbed the glass and took another large gulp, Pepper marched around the bed and grabbed the glass.
"Tony let go!"
"Pepper go back to bed!"
"I won't let you go down this road!"
"Why?! I'm not a father anymore! And my grandson is gone!" He said as he struggled to pull his glass out of her hand.
"You still have me Tony please."
"I've got no one!" He screamed, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand off his glass before finishing the glass.
Pepper held her wrist for a moment before turning away to fight the tears. Ever since the funeral he has let himself go.
"Pepper I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you." He slurred
"Get out." She said
"Pepper I'm really sorry-"
"Get the hell out of this room Tony!" She screamed "I don't care where you sleep but it won't be this room for the next few days!."
Tony lowered his head but he noticed the tears in her eyes, he stood up and stumbled out to the hall with only his empty glass. When the door slammed shut he leaned back and slowly went down until he sat in the corner. He heard the lock click as he stared dazed down the hall, he threw the glass as far away from him as possible and rested his head hand. Utterly defeated.
Chapter Song
Loving you forever, can't be wrong
Even though you're not here, won't move on
Ah, that's how we play it
And there's remedy for memory your face
Is like a melody, it won't leave my head
-Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey
RIP Claire A. Hunt
I will always love you grandma, I know I didn't say it enough when you were here but I will always love and remember you.
