One of the things I am doing with my limited free time is reading Niko's diary. This same one I am writing in. Today I steeled myself to read about the most embarrassing dream in human history. Courtesy of Maki. And what set it off.

The Most Embarrassing Dream in Human History

This dream is why, when I knew, ยต's knew. It also almost turned Maki into a hikikomori. Saved only by Niko.

I had been really throwing myself into composing song after song, trying to get my mind off something. We'd just been through several storms with our school idol group, so having a backlog of songs was my way of trying to shore us up, as well. Anyway, I was missing meals and most of my sleep. Inevitably, I fell asleep at school. Fortunately, it was in the idol club room. I think most of them realized how much I was overworking myself, so they let me sleep. Then suddenly, it happened.

I yelled, very clearly:

"Oh no, we're all going to die! I shouldn't have had sex with Nico, Rin and Umi!"

That's what Niko reported to me much later when I asked. According to Nico's nikki, I also said in a more thoughtful tone:

"Did I have sex with Eli and Honoka? No, that was Umi."

Right after that, I woke up, with the most embarassing, weird dream ever in my thoughts. I looked around and all of Muse was there, not saying anything. In fact, they were stunned. I realize I must have talked in my sleep while having THAT dream. I gathered my things and said I had to go home. No one said anything for a few seconds, then Niko said she had to go with me. I didn't even wave goodbye. I hustled into my regular shoes and Niko didn't even complain about being rushed. She just kept up with me.

We'd been walking in silence for quite a while, when I finally asked "what did you hear?"

Niko explained that i'd raved about how we were all going to die and my regret over having sex with her, Rin and Umi. "And a few other words, but those were the important ones."

I guess the part about Eli and Honoka made me sound like a forgetful slut.

Anyway I was so stricken, I stopped. I also started crying. Normally, when embarrassed, I am more stoic than ever, but this took the prize.

I told Niko I wasn't sure I could go back to Muse - or even to school.

Niko said, in that case, I had nothing to lose by telling her about the dream I'd had. She had a very serious look on her face. I agreed, so I did.

In my dream Niko had been assaulted by some men who had given her some new sexually-transmitted disease that killed people quickly and had no treatment. I'd had sex with Niko, then Rin, then Umi, and Rin had infected Hanayo and Umi had infected Eli, Kotori and Honoka. Finally Eli had given it to Nozomi, so all nine Muse members were doomed.

Niko's only comment at first was that it was comforting to know that if she were assaulted my first instinct would be to push more sexual activity on her, even before she could get to a doctor. Anticipating a blow-up from me, she said, I am not teasing you, that's just the first thought I had. Then she said:

"Maki-chan, so dramatic. I think it will help you if Niko-ni explains what that dream is about."

Then she asked me about my parents and their attitudes to same-sex couples. Well, they were against them, completely. A little fooling around during high school was fine - everyone at Otonokizaka believed that Principal Minami and my mother had fooled around like that when they were students - but after that you had a duty to your family.

Probably Niko had some of that in mind when she said she didn't think my mother was the source of the problem. So, what exactly had my father said about it? Well, he said you should avoid such people because they wanted to infect you with their strange lifestyle. Oh.

"I already know," Niko said, "some part of you sees me as the most fragile person you know. And some of my attraction for you is you imagining rescuing me. So it's no surprise I was the start of the chain. And after I infected you, you acted on some of your other attractions. Spreading the infection."

There were all kinds of things wrong, including a guilty feeling about having slept with Rin and Umi in my dream. Niko moved right on to that part, however. She said long before she met me, Nozomi started her hateful habit of breast rubbing with Niko. If you have no padding on your breasts, the glands in your breast are tender and it's very painful. So one time, Niko decided to turn the tables and grope Nozomi's breasts. It didn't fall out like a punishment. After quite a while, Nozomi said Niko was so gentle with how she handled Nozomi's breasts, they should either become girlfriends or not do that again. Niko said an embarrassed Nozomi was cute to see. As chance would have it, it was only the next week that Nozomi decided to start chasing Eli. But Niko and Nozomi almost got together.

So, Niko said, having feelings for other girls besides her was normal. If we became a couple, she was clingy and jealous, she warned me. But she didn't hold me accountable for my dreams. Especially this one, which mostly meant I was under too much stress. Niko had taken down her hair at some point while we were walking. It fit the mature Yazawa Niko I was seeing. Then she zeroed in on the thing I had been trying to escape for days with my frantic overworking.

"You know and I know what set this off, Maki-chan. We still haven't talked about our date, not even once."