A Bad Deal?
A Perpetual State of Purgatory
A/N: So last time it was Rosalie's POV I focused on her past, but in this chapter, I will be focusing more directly on why she did what she did to Bella, or at least the eventual build up to it. Hopefully it should make things more clear, but they are definitely not an excuse for what she did.
After that dreadful summer, Rosalie began to withdraw more into herself. She refused to talk to the kids in her school except when necessary and she trusted no one. Last time she had opened up, had spent so much time with someone, and it had ended up with the utmost betrayal. That feeling shimmered inside Rosalie for a long time to come and she was afraid it would never, ever, leave her.
But once she got a bit older and a bit taller and curvier, people began to flock to her, asking for her attention. Her beautiful looks drew many but her sharp tongue and cold behavior repelled even more. They couldn't understand why she didn't want to talk to them, why she refused to accept their warm smiles and praise. But it was because she knew it was all fake, that they only wanted her to talk to them to fuel their own ego; having her as a friend was like having a trophy and showing it off: an achievement in being friends with a hot person.
She didn't want that. Didn't want their fake friendships. They would all leave her anyways. But one boy was different. He didn't seek to get her attention. In fact, he shunned her. He was handsome, the male equivalent of her. With his blonde curly hair and aristocratic features, he drew the eyes of many a female. He openly sneered at her, daring her to come to blows with him verbally. She hated him for his antagonism to her for no apparent reason and he hated her too, or so she supposed. One day it became all too much and she had to ask, had to know why he treated her this way.
"I don't hate you," he had admitted honestly. "I only hate how you won't take advantage of what you have."
"What I have?" she arched a brow, and crossed her arms over her chest to look more intimidating under his blue eyed stare. She was tall for her age, all lean and supple muscle but he was even taller and he towered over her.
"You are destined to be a popular kid, Rosalie. You have the looks, and the money, but you won't let yourself take your rightful place."
"And why should I care about any of this? You sound insane!" She had been taken aback at what he was suggesting. "I don't want fake friends. I don't want friends at all!"
"But fake friends have their uses. They can do anything for you. And they will if you just give them a tiny bit of your attention." He smiled and Rosalie shook her head in disgust. "Why do you care so much about what it is I'm doing with my life?"
"Because I can't stand to see this potential go to waste. You're not trying. You're letting your life pass you by when you could achieve so much than these common plebs who surround you. You have what it takes to be special, to be different, you just need to let yourself get to that point. And, I want to be your friend but I can't do that if you reject everyone."
"I already told you I don't want friends. Or need them!" Rosalie shot back, her skin crawling with discomfort. Who did this manipulative little brat think he was?
"Trust me, you will need someone someday. You can't always just only rely on yourself. And when that day comes, I will be there to help you." The blonde boy promised and then turned on his heel, leaving Rosalie alone in the empty hallway with his words hanging in the air.
She didn't like what he was saying. She truly didn't. People didn't deserve to have relationships based on fakeness, so paper thin a breath could blow them over. But as time went by, his words slowly began to make more sense. These people didn't really care for her for her, but for themselves. So why should she feel bad about treating them like trash? After all, even the relationship, the only true friendship she had ever thought she had, turned out to be built of glass. Fragile and reflecting only her own desires and one sided thoughts, it never truly showed Bella and what she thought of the relationship.
And when the day arrived that Rosalie needed help, she begrudgingly took the blonde haired boy's offer of help. From then on they were friends. And she did what he did and took advantage of the countless worshipers throwing themselves under her feet. She would use them to get what she wanted, just like they were using her to get what they wanted. After all, foundations were built on use and abuse. Just take her parents relationship. They both hated each other but stuck together for the money.
Rosalie zoomed through middle school like this, gaining a lot of popularity and even more admirers. Together with Jasper, she founded a cool kids group. It was how Edward came to join their ranks. A new transfer student in the last year of middle school, but already cocky and suave thanks to his generous looks and amazing voice, he fit right in with them.
Somewhere along the way Rosalie secured several modeling contracts and she went off on shoots, raking in cash and adding even more prestige to her already glamorous aura. She grew arrogant in her looks, in her ability to twist and manipulate others to her needs. She learned how to disparage others, how to make a fist and have it connect to someone elses face. For keeping at the top of the chain came with its perks but also with its hazards. And now that she had tasted fame, understood what it meant for her, she was willing to keep it, even if it was all superficial and wouldn't mean shit once she turned thirty. Because it was all she had, and if she lost this world then she would lose herself no matter how much of a terrible person she had become.
When high school arrived, she and Jasper and Edward ended up entering the same high school, the only high school in Forks. There they quickly made their way up the ranks, gathering Alice and Emmett on their way up. The two provided an interesting addition to the group. Alice with her sweet looks but conniving mind, and Emmett with his big muscles but kind interior. They all knew they were only 'friends' because of the perks each person had. Rosalie had her modeling contracts and access to high end parties. Emmett had his football games and an inheritance to his dad's car company. Edward had his fame from his youtube channel for his voice and the record label company that his mom ran. Jasper had money from the oil companies and his roles as a small time actor in a TV show that was large in Forks. And Alice had her fashion company, which she operated alongside her older sister. All of them had looks and most notably money. And they used the perks that came with being associated with one another to further their own ends. For that was what they had all agreed upon. They were only kind to each other out of necessity and not because they actually liked each other. For Rosalie knew they really didn't care for her too much. She was abrasive and rude and always getting fed up with their stupid shit first. She knew she was the least liked in her group but she didn't really care.
They could all live together and rent out their own house, and she would live in her house with her parents. She couldn't stand to be around such fakeness for too long or she would burst a blood vessel. She needed to be alone with her thoughts. With those dreaded feelings of emptiness and unfullfillment. For no matter how many 'friends' she made, or how much money she earned, or how many times she saw her face on the TV or billboards, she always felt like it was never enough. Like it didn't matter, because she didn't have anyone to actually care about these achievements. Sure, she could tell the group, but then that would only be bragging; proof to show that her friendship was still worth keeping.
She couldn't even really tell her parents. They were never around, having escalated to that point in their relationship where they couldn't stand to be around each other in the same location for more than a few hours. So if one was home, then the other wasn't coming back for a while. Most often it ended up that neither of them were home at all, too busy wrapped up in extramarital affairs that they took no pains to hiding. Her father had another kid with another woman, and her mother was taking care of the kid of the guy she was dating. They rarely checked up on Rosalie, feeling she was grown enough to take care of her own self.
Which Rosalie was...but still. It would have been nice to know she was loved.
Half of Rosalie's Freshman year passed this way. With her and her friend group coming up with new ways to stir trouble up in the community. In fact, that had mainly been Alice's idea. She was a restless one and mischievous and she wanted to do crazy things. And the group all jumped on board with it, even Rosalie, for what else were they to do in this piss boring town? But the schedule that Rosalie's life had fallen into got a rude jolt when the new student transferred in.
Her name was Bella.
And she had brown hair and brown eyes and her face was as kind as Rosalie remembered.
When Rosalie first saw her, standing in the office picking up her papers, she couldn't believe her eyes. This was her, the girl all those years ago that she had played with. It had to be. She had the same twinkle in her eyes, and the same way of her cheek dimpling when she gave a smile. But how could it be her? She had left, left all those years ago. Left without a word.
Rosalie just sat in the office chair where she had been waiting to get scolded at by the dean, her eyes never leaving the brunette, taking in her presence greedily. She didn't know what to make of this. Maybe it was a different Bella? It could be. It would make more sense than Bella suddenly coming back after all these years. Would she even remember Rosalie? Would she?
Rosalie wanted the girl to turn around, to see her. But Bella kept her body turned, only the side of her face visible. She had filled out nicely; curves where once there had been angles, her low v neck shirt hinting at an ample chest and her skinny jeans hugging her hips. Her skin was pale and flawless and her lips were a rosy color. How many times had Bella kissed her on the cheek with those lips before? Too many times but not enough. Rosalie wondered how they would feel now.
Bella was laughing at something the office lady was telling her, her laughter just like what it had been as a kid, but deeper and more melodic. It brought back nostalgia and it made Rosalie's eyes water with unbidden memories. Memories of that one summer. The summer that changed everything. She wanted to open her mouth to speak, to call out Bella's name but her words failed her, and as the brunette picked up her things and went on her way, Rosalie's hand rose up as if she was going to try to grab up her but she stopped herself in time. And then Bella was gone, melting into the student body that chattered and hovered in the halls.
Bella was back.
And Rosalie didn't know what to do.
