A/N: Pardon the delay! I was finishing the semester but here you go! Thank you for the outpouring of support in the past and present!
The sleep had been fruitful as Gordon woke up to a new day, sun peeking through the cracks of their barracks. He finally managed to look outside, to truly take in the world. These were the badlands, wasted away from repeated sieges and stripped of their resources by the Combine's forces. From where he was, Freeman could see the remains of a place long since abandoned, the place Alyx called Ravenholm. Just a passing glance was enough to instill a deep sense of dread into the physicist, but not enough to destroy the dreams he had.
In his dreams, his hands played with the wheat sprigs as the comfortably warm air entered his lungs. A smile graced his lips, this was home again. He could never be back there in the present, so why not live in the past for as long as he could? The physicist could hear another person's voice calling for him, sounding lost. Gordon raised his head above the endless fields and looked around…
"Barney?"
"Feeling better?" snapped Freeman out of his observation and reverie to a grinning Calhoun with a warm mug of whatever passed for coffee those day. It was strange to see him out of his Combine uniform, or any uniform for that matter. Even the jumpsuit was too casual for Gordon's short-term memory.
I wouldn't mind tearing that jumpsuit off...wait, shit, Freeman's brain scrambled to hide any physical reactions to that thought. "Much. I'd hate to admit it but maybe there are health benefits to sleeping."
Barney rolled his eyes, "Drink your coffee and get suited, we're going to Vienna and check for survivors."
"Wasn't it a raid?"
"It was a raid," the finality in Calhoun's voice spoke more than those four words. The soldier wasn't blaming himself for not being there, but Gordon sure did. For someone who didn't talk a lot, his facial expressions showed the horror of what that meant. Barney had stayed the night while there were places that needed him more.
"Why didn't you go? I was sleeping just fine…"
"My best friend disappeared for twenty years, I'm not going to pass up a chance to hang out with you."
"But-"
"Gordon, it's fine," Barney shook his head, and turned to behold the sights that his best friend had partaken, "I've been seeing the world around us disappear. Every day, the earth gets drier, the trees lose their ability to produce, and Ravenholm can't be recovered."
It's about that forsaken town that Gordon finds himself drawn to, just to see what happened before he arrived. It was big enough to have housed at least a few hundred people, and now they were all...gone or zombified.
"I needed a reminder that it wasn't always like this," Calhoun concluded, almost dreamlike in his wish for a better outcome, "I'll see you and Alyx when you're ready."
The trip to the raid site was silent, with only the car and the roads making any sounds in the exhausted landscape. Just as Barney had mentioned, there was evidence of a Resistance Raid in one of the many enclosures the Combine had set aside for their cabals. There was no distinction between the shrouded bodies being carried away in makeshift freezers, they were all meant to be buried or incinerated should they have signs of headcrab infestation. Freeman noted something peculiar about some of the corpses while he and Alyx tended to the wounded.
"This is silk...this is a surplus product," he observed as he examined a dead woman's sleeve. He knew that texture, his mother had a dress made from that very fabric, and knew what that meant. Silk was a resource-draining product, unfit for the ravages of an invaded world. "Wherever this woman was, there were enough resources available to use them for non survival purposes."
Alyx sighed as she tried to explain, "She was...Dad says that some people, they went along with Dr. Breen when the Hours' War happened. First adopters got the rewards of submitting to the Combine earlier than everyone. They were given vast amounts of lands and resources. Breen can't manage an entire planet on his own, now can he?"
It made sense, given that Wallace Breen couldn't hold Black Mesa together on his own, much less a planet. Gordon made an exasperated expression on his face,
"Let me guess, they don't share either."
"Nope. The Combine likes making examples of compliance," Vance shrugged before releasing the wounded to let them eat. "We do all sorts of raids just to feed the Resistance and whatever we can towards the general population. Hope can only hold off hunger for so long."
Freeman grimaced, knowing these were the people who benefited the most from the suffering of those below. Was he released from his stasis to eventually destroy this system, or to perpetuate it? If he'd been cursed to have reason, in all its variations, would he resist the contract to ensure justice?
These were all thoughts that ran through the scientist's mind as he continued his search for more clues about the world he was now in. The stench of death and sepsis invaded his lungs, as some of the deceased had begun their decay while the survivors struggled to keep themselves conscious.
It was one of these stragglers that Gordon took true pity, watching his chest rise and fall slowly as if breathing were a costly act of futility. The man was alone, waiting to die from his wounds. Gordon knew what Eli asked of him, to forgo the sovereign rules that governed his existence. And for what? A victory over their enemy? Then again, he gave up the endless fields of wheat just to see Barney again. He gave up Paradise, becoming the Black Sheep, for a life that would only last as long as Calhoun kept his wits. An impulsive decision, much like his sister did but for entirely different ends. They were selfish creatures, no doubts about that.
But Freeman believed in that better world that Eli dreamed for his daughter. Humans were capable of truly selfish and destructive acts, but they shone in their altruism. And for this man, Gordon would do his part. He didn't know this soldier's name, nor did he care too much. He placed his hand over the ailing patient's heart and closed his eyes. A dull glow traced along his fingers and entered the body, spread with every heartbeat, before Freeman backed away. This man would not die today, no guarantees on tomorrow or the next time he went to war. This man could have a new choice, a new branch in his decisions.
And really, that's all a Patron like him could do: allow a choice that he believed he couldn't make. For all the power Gordon had, he was still in a cage built by those who he regarded as his parents and ancestors. Free will was a treasure, and he held it close whenever he had the chance. Or maybe he did have such a gift, he just never realized it until he had a chance to reflect on it.
"Gordon!" Freeman heard his named called, "We're headed to Vienna, you coming?"
"I'll be right there!"
