I make my way through the halls, my color slowly fading to gray as I leave Jimin behind me. I try not to let myself dwell on the loss of color. I need to get over it. I never had it before and I didn't need it now. I didn't need colors, or the boy who brought them to me, to live a happy life.
Pushing the doors open, I make my way outside, looking for Namjoon. Spotting him sitting on a bench, I walk over to him, tapping on his shoulder.
"Come on," I said, walking towards my house, knowing he'd follow me, "Let's go. I'm starving."
Namjoon easily caught up to my short stride. I saw him look down at me, searching for any clues as to what had just happened between me and Jimin on my face. Getting no clues from my expression, he must have just decided to ask me what happened.
"Soooo," he said, trying to sound nonchalant about it, "What just happened?"
I shrugged my shoulders, "Nothing much. He just misunderstood something, I cleared it up."
By the look on his face, I knew that answer didn't satisfy him. Namjoon was the kind of person that was always curious, always wanted to know more. Usually I found his love for knowledge impressive, but right now it was just annoying. I would tell him eventually, but honestly I didn't feel like opening that conversation right now.
"What do you want for lunch," I ask, steering the conversation to a different topic.
At the mention of food, Namjoon's ears perked up.
"I want meat," he said, not exactly giving me anything to work with.
"I'll make hamburgers then, okay?"
Nodding, he follows me into my building. Climbing the stairs to my floor, I start to wonder why I didn't move into a building with an elevator. I hate exercise or anything like that, so why did I have to choose a place where I had to climb 3 flights of stairs just to get to my apartment?
Once we finally reach my floor, I open my door and Namjoon pushes past me, making himself right at home. He plops down on my couch, turning the TV on and putting on some kind of documentary. Ignoring him, I go straight to the kitchen to start making lunch.
As I get to work cooking, I let my mind wander to a small pink-haired boy.
I wonder if he's okay. I may have been a bit harsh before. Maybe I should have let him down gently.
Shaking my head, I push the thoughts from my head. It was better this way after all. It's not like I lied to him. I really didn't want a boyfriend. Maybe some part of me, deep deep down, wanted one, but I refused to give in to my family's expectations of me.
They expected me to find my soulmate and start living my life with them right away. Why would I do that? What sane person jumps into a relationship with someone they don't even know?
I hadn't even known Jimin for a full 24 hours. Supposed "soulmate" or not, that wasn't enough time to decide if a romantic relationship was a good route to take. Hell, that wasn't even enough time to decide if I wanted to be friends with him or not.
Once again pushing my Jimin thoughts aside, I place the food on plates. Walking to the kitchen, I hand Namjoon his. He moved to the floor, setting his plate down on my coffee table. I sat beside him, leaning my back against the front of the couch.
"Don't drop anything. And please, please, don't break my plate."
He nodded, returning his attention to the TV in front of him.
We sat in silence, eating our meals. I ate slowly, Namjoon finishing long before me. When I had finally finished, Namjoon took our plates to the kitchen, returning with a glass of water. I watched as he sat down, trying not to spill anything on my carpet.
As we sat there, him watching his documentary and me pondering, I decided now was a good a time as any. Might as well rip the band aid off.
"I found my soulmate," I say suddenly, causing Namjoon to choke on the water he was swallowing.
Coughing, he turns to face me, now completely ignoring the TV.
"What did you just say?" He asked once his coughing had subsided.
"I found my soulmate, Namjoon."
I waited as my words sunk in, his expression changing as he made sense of what I said.
"When?"
"Yesterday."
I watched as understanding dawned on his face.
"That's why you were asking me so many questions about colors last night, isn't it?"
I nodded. Now that the Initial shock had subsided, Namjoon started hammering me with questions, not giving me any time to answer one before he moved on to the next.
"Did you actually see them or was it just a passing moment of color? Do you know the person? If so, what's their name? If you don't know them, do you think you'll ever happen across them again? Will you search for them? What did-"
I put my hand over his mouth, stopping his next question in its tracks.
"You need to slow down, Namjoon," I advise, chuckling, "I can't answer your questions if you keep spewing them out."
Once he nodded that he understood, I removed my hand from his face.
"Why don't we start from the beginning then?"
Namjoon stared at me, waiting for me to give him any sort of information.
"Yes I actually saw the person. Yes I know them. You know them too," I took a deep breath, getting ready to tell him the biggest part, "It's... It's Jimin, Namjoon."
His eyes widened at my confession, his mouth parting into a small "O" shape.
"Jimin? Like the Jimin that plowed you over yesterday? The Jimin that we were just with earlier?"
I nodded my head.
"It was him this entire time and you didn't tell me until right now," Namjoon asked, sounding a little hurt.
"There hasn't been a good time to tell you," I defended, "Was I just supposed to stop you in the halls in the morning and just blurt it out right there? No. We needed a chance so you could ask questions. And some privacy. I don't need the whole world knowing I'm some kinda freak."
"First of all, you're not a freak," Namjoon chastised, "Second of all, I see your point. So what are you going to do about it?"
"I'm not going to do anything. He asked me out, I said no. That's it. Case closed."
"He asked you out?" Namjoon yelled.
"Yeah. And I said no."
"Why would you do that? Isn't he the only chance you have for a normal life?"
I sighed. I knew he would find it strange, that doesn't mean that I looked forward to explaining my reasons.
"What's wrong with my life now, Namjoon? Sure it takes me a little longer to find my outfits. Lights and glares hurt my eyes. But this has been my life for 24 years. Do I really need to change it? Should I try and force a relationship for that selfish of a reason? I don't need color, I never have."
Namjoon took my words into consideration. I could see the gears working in his head as he thought about everything I told him.
"That makes sense, Yoongi. Your life is fine the way it is. You have done fine for yourself, even with what others would call a huge handicap. You're right, you don't need to force yourself to be in a relationship just because someone says that he's your soulmate. After all, if you're meant to be together, it'll happen somehow. I mean not everyone in the world is with their soulmate, right? Some people go their whole lives without it and they are perfectly happy."
I was glad he understood. I didn't realize how much I was hoping that he wouldn't pressure me to be with Jimin. I should have known his answer though. Namjoon wasn't one for pushing me to do things that I was obviously uncomfortable with.
Smiling, I thanked him for being so understanding. Apparently he wasn't done with his questions, though.
"So tell me, Yoongi. What was it like? Seeing color?" He asked, his eyes filled with wonder.
Sighing, I remembered when I first opened my eyes after Jimin ran into me. Letting the astonishment I felt then fill me again.
"Oh, Namjoon. It was beautiful. It was like I opened my eyes and suddenly everything was alive, you know? Everything was so vibrant and vivid. The sky, the stars, even your hair-" I reached out to pull on one of the strands falling to cover his forehead "-it was all so much more than I expected. I had lived my life drifting in a sea of gray, I had no idea that the world could actually look like that."
Namjoon looked at me, pity filling his eyes.
"I've never seen you in such... in such awe, Yoongi. We all take color for granted, but you... You make it sound so amazing. I wish I could have seen it through your eyes, I bet it was spectacular," he sighed, his mouth turning up into a small smile but then falling back into a frown, "That's why I want you to be sure about this, Yoongi. Without Jimin, you'll be back to gray. Is that really what you want? If it is, I'll support you. You might not even get a choice, maybe fate will just pull you two together. Who knows."
I let my head fall back on the couch, reaching out, I grabbed Namjoon's hand.
"Thanks for understanding. Now can we please stop all this mushy stuff? It's making me sick," I hold my hands to my stomach, feigning a stomach ache.
Namjoon laughed, easing some of the tension from the room.
"Yeah, yeah, I got you. Now I have a date with my very own soul mate. So I'll see you later."
Namjoon stood from the floor, helping me up along with him. Following him to the door, I watched as he put his shoes and coat on. I moved past him, preparing to open the door for him.
"Tell Jin I say hello. Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do..."
My words trailed off as I opened the door to see Taehyung standing there, his hand raised in midknock.
"Oh! Yoongi-hyung! I didn't know that you lived here," Tae exclaimed, his voice echoing off the walls of the hallway behind him.
"If you didn't know I lived here, then what are you doing here?"
"Oh, you didn't know? I figured the company would have told you. They moved Jungkook, Jimin, and I in together," his smile grew as he stretched his hand out to me, "Nice to meet you neighbor! Please take good care of us!"
I heard Namjoon chuckle behind me. As he brushed past me, he whispered into my ear, the words quiet enough that Taehyung wouldn't have heard them. Saying a quick goodbye to Taehyung, he left me standing there with only his words.
"What did I say about fate, Yoongi?"
