I am sorry for the overly long delay. I hope this chapter will be a good one. I've also revamped all the chapter from 1 to 8. I believe you re-reading the story might help as the time since the last release was quite long and you could not remember everything well. Chapter 8(part 1 and 2) is almost as long as all the previous chapters, so it's not that much to read.

Either way, read in.


A (not so) small change in one's life.

Chapter 8 part 2


"Words are the source of misunderstandings."

Though I vowed, though I swore… Though I promised myself I wouldn't commit the same error over and over again. Though I earnestly kept myself in check… Eventually I failed and forgot about the meaning of these words that the prince said. Oh… How pathetic I am…

The next day was rather peculiar. It was partly because of me feeling uneasiness. When I woke up I didn't really want to go to school. I was reluctant so to say.

I was recollecting all the things that had happened yesterday. I had the bad feeling that my relationship with Iroha wasn't the usual one. Not that I know how a normal one should look like. But… still deep inside of me, I've grown attached to her. I enjoy being with her. I feel warmth when she is hugging me and my heart aches when I see her crying. I am happy when I see her laugh and I want her to be happy, because of me. But then there is also the case of her being so… I don't know how to say it. Her acting different than what I'd imagine. All these feelings are making me feel uneasy.

But well, people aren't perfect. I am an epitome of that. So, I guess Iroha simply has got her bad habits or something…

Ah… I forgot to mention. Komachi somehow found out. As being a perfect actor is definitely my forte she must have somehow gotten the information out of someone. I don't know who it was, though.

I remember how it happened pretty clearly…

"Onii-chan!" my little sister greeted me with a devilish smile.

"What is it, Komachi?" seeing her with such an enthusiasm always makes me fear for a trap or something.

"Huhu… You're such a bad big brother for not telling your sister about your girlfriend." She said as she covered her mouth.

"What girlfriend?" I tried to play dumb.

"Oni-chan!" She pouted. My god, you're too cute if you do that.

"I said I know it, so don't play dumb. So, tell me how did it happen? Why don't I know her? Why did you choose her out of the three?" She asked these questions in a very quick fashion.

But, what was it with choosing Iroha out of the three? Eh… Sometimes I can't really comprehend Komachi's train of thought, actually hardly ever do I comprehend it.

I decided to answer some of her questions.

"You don't know her, because you haven't met her yet." Actually it didn't sound that stupid in my mind...

"Onii-chan, is it just me or did you say something incredibly stupid?" She asked with a honest voice.

"It's just you, Komachi." I assured her with the most confident tone I could ever muster.

"If you say so!" She said with a grin on her face and then Komachi's blitzkrieg continued.

She stepped closer to me and with an overly eager voice attacked me with dozens of questions. The like I hate most.

I somehow managed to answer without really answering them, I managed to make a tactical retreat. From the sideview it would seem rather like an escape. But escape has that unpleasant ring to it. It surely wasn't an escape.

Either way the thing that piqued up my interest was Komachi's unusual behaviour. Though obviously happy of the news she was somehow less excited than I would imagine.

Back to the topic. I was sitting in the classroom, with Hiratsuka sensei talking about Daizai's works. I have already read them all and the lecture was rather banal, so instead of paying attention to our not-so young teacher I paid heed to my surroundings. Everything was different. Entirely.

My stealth hikki wasn't working properly anymore. People took notice of my existence. Obviously most of them ignored me, but there is a difference between ignoring someone and not noticing him. The first one acknowledges the fact that you exist, he is wary of it, yet he decides to ignore it. The second one doesn't.

I guess it's because of Iroha. The rumours have surely spread, I was no longer just an unlikable student, I was something more. I was also the boyfriend of the student council president.

However, I didn't think it would change my status that vehemently.

Miura for an unknown reason was staring at me angrily from time to time. Each stare made me shiver in fear. Hayama looked from time to time at me with his typical forced smile, but once I caught him looking a bit sad. Tobe on the other hand looked once at me and gave me a thumb up.

I wish he hadn't done it. It felt idiotic. Totsuka looked at me once with a worried expression. Other mob guys looked at me with envy and animosity. When my eyes met with Yuigahama, she gently smiled. It was her usual smile, but a tad sadder, I guess. Is her phone malfunctioning or something? Or maybe it's because of yesterday club session.

There was one person entirely different from the rest. While most switched from not noticing my existence, one person ceased to notice me. Kawasaki Saki didn't look at me, not once. I found it strange and I found it even more weird that I felt hurt a bit. Search me, but I don't really know why.

...

I spent my lunch together with Totsuka, he insisted on it.

We sat down in the canteen and enjoyed our typical meals.

"Hachiman, may I ask you a question?" he said tentatively.

"Yeah, sure." I replied.

"Are you really going out with Ishiki? Or is it just rumours?"

I took a moment to think. I let a sigh.

"It's true, but I don't know how to interpret your question. Is it that unlikable for me to be with someone?"

"No, I mean yes. I mean not with someone, it's just I thought you would be going out with someone else, eventually. " Totsuka stuttered nervously.

I was rendered speechless.

"You don't mean to say that…" I started a bit angrily.

"Don't get mad, I think that there were others, maybe a bit more... proper candidates, I guess." He said slowly.

"You don't say! You think that I am not worth Iroha?" My tone was becoming angrier.

"No, if anything, then the other way around." He mumbled.

I didn't understand. I just didn't.

"You mean, that Iroha isn't a good girl?" I asked, more calmly this time.

"Yes, I mean no. Eh…" He tried to say.

"It's just that I never really imagined you two being together. It's just it." He said quietly.

"Well. Sorry, I was a bit too fiery." I said apologetically.

"But, you see. I've got a feeling that it might work with me and Iroha. She loves me, she says so." I said in a very low voice.

"I want to believe it will work out, you know?" I said and looked at him.

"I want to believe that too." He said and looked me in my eyes. His face was showing hope, but also worriedness.

I somehow calmed down after my little rage and the obviously embarrassing part. Then I realized. Candidates?

"Did you say something about other more proper candidates? Or was it just me." I asked him, this time without any trace of anger or excitement.

"Because as I see it, it's quite impossible." I added then.

"What?" He said, surprised.

"You haven't noticed anything?" He added.

"You've lost me." I said puzzled by his reaction.

"I mean. There seemed to be others clearly interested in you, I guess." He said slowly.

"Others? Like who?"

"Yuigahama for example, I have had the feeling that there was something more between you two."

Ah.. So that was it. He misinterpreted it, just the same way I would if not for the immense experience as a loner. She misjudged her will to thank me for saving her dog with affection. Plus, she's a nice girl.

"No, I think you're wrong. She isn't in love me. I am sure of it." I said.

"If you say so… But I am not really convinced."

"What about Yukinoshita and Kawasaki? Weren't you closer to them than to Ishiki?"

"Was I?"

"Yukinoshita, I am mostly certain about it, didn't even think for a second about me in a romantic way. More like looked at me with disgust." I said after a second of thought.

"You sure, about it?" He said, once again not convinced by my reply.

"I am sure of it and about Kawasaki. I don't know, really. I don't think I was close to either of them. It's not just you, that were surprised by 'it'." I said and gestured with my hand that I meant my being with Iroha by 'it'.

Totsuka finished his meal.

"If you say so… I guess, now it doesn't really matter. I hope for you the best, so give it all you've got, Hachiman." He said and smiled at me, angelickly.

Luckily I've got a girlfriend, if I didn't I would have proposed on the spot to him.

As I was heading to the clubroom I found myself looking at the sky through one of the windows. There was snow falling down. I looked at it bewitched by the beauty of it. It is indeed beautiful, the first snowflakes showering. I sighed and reminiscenced the softness of Iroha's hand. The sweet fragrance of her shampoo. The warm feeling I had while embracing her. The moisture of her lips.

I want it. I want it, really. I want us to find happiness. I want to love her…

Suddenly, darkness enveloped me. I couldn't see anything, but darkness.

"Guess, who is it, senpai?" someone asked me joyfully.

"If you say senpai it's not even a puzzle anymore." I said as I turned around to look into the eyes of Iroha. She was smiling gently. She closed the distance between us and she intertwined her hand with mine. I could feel her hot breath on my lips.

"Doesn't matter. A game is a game even if it's easy."

"Senpai, I want you to go on a date with me." She said with a sultry voice.

"Please." She added and made that cute face I couldn't resist.

"I've got club session, I don't…" I tried.

"Please, what can one session change? Let's spend the time together, today." She smiled and neared her lips to mine.

"Please." She said and then landed a kiss on my lips. I wanted it. I wanted to find happiness. That's right, it won't really change anything if I omit the club session.

"Fine." I said and this time I kissed her, more passionately than she did.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps and I came back to my senses, we were at the school grounds. I moved away from Iroha. It's not the place for this.

She pouted.

"Mou senpai, you're so scared of someone seeing us like this." She said mockingly.

"But it's cute in a way." She added.

"So, let's go." She said and took my hand. We turned around, leaving the clubroom behind.

We were somewhere in the city, I didn't really pay much attention to the surroundings.

I was focused on my hand being held by Iroha. Her hurried breath and her lips. She was beautiful. She loved me. That's what she said.

"So senpai, what will we do on our date?" She asked with a cute voice.

Oh crap. I don't know. I looked around.

"A movie, maybe?" I asked tentatively.

"That's a no. At least for now."

"Try harder."

I saw a poster of a billiard club and then pointed it to Iroha.

"Maybe this?" I asked.

"Billiard, huh? I guess I shouldn't have expected too much from you." She said in a lower voice with her eyes downcast.

"Plus, billiard doesn't suit you at all, senpai."

"Let's go with ping-pong, it's also there." As she added these words she lit up with a new energy.

"That's fine with me, but won't those shoes make it a bit hard?" I said while looking at Iroha's boots. She stopped in track, looked at her boots quizzically and then directed her gaze at me.

The shock on her face was clearly visible with her mouth agape.

"Wh-hat?"

"Nothing… I just thought it was a little unexpected for you to be so observant…"

"I can tell without looking since I'm looking at a different height than usual." I said.

Isshiki took a step towards me as if purposely confirming that and faced me. As I reflectively took a step back Isshiki would raise her eyebrow and close that step again. Apparently, she was telling me to stay still. I slightly leaned backwards and Isshiki looked up at me. And with breaths spilling out through her smiling lips, she weaved her words.

"Oh, that's true. Your height's much closer than before."

Due to the close proximity of our faces, I instinctively swallowed my breath when I noticed her glossy, smiling lips.

What proceeded next, was Iroha leaning slightly towards me and placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

Sweetness, moisture and warmness. These three sensations overwhelmed me entirely.

After a very short moment, she leaned back with a smile fixed on her lips.

"Senpai, you're so cute when you're so embarrassed, yet your face is telling me that you want something more." She winked.

"It's not the time or place." She parodied me.

Her eyes were lit with little impish sparks.

"And it's not like I wanted something more..." I said timidly.

"Senpai, being a tsundere doesn't fit you." She retorted.

"Anyways, I guess you'll be able to rent some shoes there." I said in order to end this somewhat embarrassing situation.

We took a seat on the nearby leather sofas and changed our shoes.

Isshiki took a seat next to me, took off her blazer and began changing out of her boots.

The pink-knitted sweater underneath her blazer was moderately slender while emphasizing her feminine curves, her high-waist skirt showing her waistline. When she uneasily removed her boots with her hands, I could tell the fineness of her calves through her tights.

I ended up directing my gaze towards her seemingly immature gestures. When our eyes met, she bended her head to side with a "What is it?" But there's no way I could tell her that I was taken in her by the unbalanced qualities between her alluring charm and her childish behavior, so I shook my head and quietly handed her a racket.

After Isshiki bowed her head and accepted the racket, she trotted to the front of the table tennis table while fanning herself.

"I haven't played table tennis since middle school."

"You can pick it in P.E. when you become a second year."

I stood across from Isshiki on the other end of the table. Isshiki rolled up her knitted sleeves and pointed her racket at me. She then made a smile in determination!

"So if I win, you'll treat me today?"

"We're betting food, huh? Well, I guess that's fine…" I answered, and tossed a table tennis ball to Isshiki. I guess there's no better way to hype up the match than putting down a wager. After bouncing the ball on the table, Isshiki grabbed it and readied her racket.

"We're decided then…! Okay, I'll start first. Ey."

Isshiki flatly grunted when she weakly rallied the ball to me.

"Hoi."

The match had been in my favor, as the first set was won by me. Iroha seemingly worried about the possible outcome changed her expression from timidly gentle to a serious one.

Yet, she served a rather easy ball, so I did rally it back to her in the same way.

She made a slow movement and then attacked the ball with one rapid swing.

"DIE!" she shouted.

Though her act gathered some attention from people around us, the ball flew outside the table.

"What was that?" I wondered.

Iroha only smiled in reply.

After a few exchanges I mistakenly threw the ball in the net.

"Okay, so it's my turn now, right?"

Isshiki bounced the ball on top of the table and took a serving stance. But as if she had noticed something, her gaze swam around and she lightly raised her hand to pause. "Oh, senpai, could you wai—HIYAH!"

Right about when she tried to pause the match, she made a sudden serve with all her energy. But I wasn't one to fall for little acts like that. I calmly shifted over to the front of the ball and made a return ace to the opposite of where Isshiki stepped forward.

"…Too easy."

My pops always used that trick with me in table tennis when I was younger, so in order to extract revenge, I'd do the same thing multiple times to Komachi, and she'd get so upset about it! I couldn't have you underestimating the worthless genes of the Hikigaya household now! The way Komachi would really cry when she was a toddler and tell me, "I'm not gonna play table tennis with you anymore, onii-chan!" was just so cute…

Of course, Komachi had a tantrum since she was a child back then, but how would Irohasu, who was an adult now, react? When I looked at her, she was gritting her teeth as if her plans had been foiled.

"Grrr…"

"If you're going to resort to things like that, I guess I'll have to get serious…" I said, and took off my sweater. I rubbed the floor and took on the form of a table tennis athlete. When I did, Isshiki waved her racket in protest.

"S-Senpai, you're being very childish!"

"Says you… Whatever, here I go. It's my serve now."

I was in a different mode from earlier handicapped mode for entertainment. I positioned myself at the corner and made a full-power serve. Even though Isshiki was complaining, she seemed awfully ready as she let out a short sigh and chased after the ball. "Uryah!"

And then, her racket cut through the air and the over enthusiastic Iroha's skirt fluttered.

Crap, now that I think about it, she's wearing a skirt, isn't she…? I'd better avoid hitting too many fastballs…

After that, I returned back to handicapped mode and lightly returned the balls. But now that I was conscious of her skirt, my gaze would move on its own. Isshiki's skirt flapping up and down just wouldn't stop bothering me.

Because of that my focus was greatly diminished and Iroha was able to score some points. Every time a victorious smile would come out on her face.

Isshiki let out a sigh and took out a mini-towel from her bag. She patted her face with her towel to wipe off the sweat and began counting something by bending her fingers.

"Ummm, so senpai has eight points right now, and I have… one, two, three, four… Oh, senpai, what time is it?" she asked with an honest voice.

As I pondered over this familiar and curious development, I looked at the clock on the wall and answered, "It's about eleven."

She continued with an innocent and even more cute voice...

"Eleven. Okay. Ah, so my points are twelve, thirteen—"

"You have six points. Six."

When I pointed it out to her, Isshiki pouted, with her little fists being clenched like that I couldn't resist but to smile a bit. Nonetheless, even if it made me smile pouting wasn't going to get her anything here.

"Here, let's go."

I called out to her and did a light serve. I held back on the speed of the ball, but I aimed for a considerably difficult spot. Isshiki ran to one end of the table, but the ping pong ball mercilessly struck the edge with a plonk and bounced away.

Seeing it off, Isshiki made a smile and faced me. "Ah, that was out, so I get the point, right?"

What's with the straight-faced lie…?

"There wouldn't be a bouncing noise if it was out…"

For a while now, weren't her methods kind of unfair? And especially… the way her skirt was moving all around the place, I think that's totally unfair!

From then on, I was able to amass my points, making the occasional misses due to her skirt, and there was finally a winner.

The result was my complete victory.

We both took a seat at the nearest sofa when we finished our game. My breathing was a little rough since it had been a while since I played table tennis.

On the other hand, Isshiki's shoulders were dropped in dejection as if overcome with shock from losing…

"…So it's my win, right?" I asked to confirm with her.

Isshiki reluctantly nodded. "I guess that's how it is… I'll take the loss this time…"

She was surprisingly honest in accepting her defeat despite her cowardly tactics from earlier. Had this been a certain sore loser, first or foremost, she would've been the one who'd win the match.

I wasn't one to dwell on my victories, but winning wasn't a bad feeling. I unknowingly spilled an unpleasant smile, but after seeing Irohai's downcast look, I couldn't really laugh at her.

"Well, thanks for lunch." I restrained my smile with a cough and stated as nicely as possible.

When I did, Isshiki's shoulders shook… H-Huh, don't tell me you're crying, Iroha? E-Eh, wh-what do I do…?

As I freaked out, a low chuckle came from beside me.

"…Fufufu."

When I looked at her, Isshiki had a fearless smile.

"Huh, what? Something wrong?" I asked.

Isshiki placed her hands on her waist and pointed at me with a triumphant smile. "I said you had to treat me if I won, but I didn't say anything about you winning, senpai."

What in the world is she blabbering about…? I looked at her with a suspicious look and I recalled our conversation before the match… Hmm?

"…That's true."

Indeed, the only condition she gave was that if she won… Not bad, I definitely learned something here…

"Well, I wasn't really going to have you treat me from the start, so it's fine. But aren't you being just a little unfair…?" I retorted.

Isshiki, however, was rather unconcerned about that. Instead, she smiled.

She softly placed her hand on my chest and slightly leaned forward, peeking into my face. Her eyes looked as if they were teasing me.

"Being a little unfair makes me more of a girl doesn't it?" as she said these words with a sultry voice, I gulped. I could feel my excitement rising. My heartbeat increased significantly.

"But I'll make it up to you somehow for it."

She neared her lips to mine and when they touched she took the initiative this time. However just as I was almost consumed by my lust and wanted something more she quickly moved away with a smile. Her lips were shiny and I could see a bit of saliva running down her chin.

"It seems senpai you're very eager to do something more." She said straightforwardly.

I blushed and averted my eyes a bit.

"But first of all you'll have to treat me to a lunch!" as her victorious voice made it to my ears I realized that I knew all along it would end up like this.

I smiled involuntarily. It's just like her, this little sly fox of mine.

"Fine."

Somehow we ended up going to saize. It wasn't initially my idea. I had wanted to go to somewhere fancy, but Iroha made it clear that she wasn't prone to me choosing the place this time. She led me and to my greatest surprise we found ourselves standing right in front of the doors of Saizeriya.

I won't lie, I wasn't really unsatisfied with such a turn of event. But the way Iroha unhesitatingly led me here was making me a bit worried. Eh… I guess I should have a bit of faith in my girlfriend.

We went in. Iroha on my right. Her left hand holding my right. She hummed very quietly.

Then we sat down in a spot designed for couples I guess.

I could hear from the rhythmic footsteps that there was a waiter coming to us, but then somehow it disturbed me the way he stopped in track. I turned around to look at him and to my astonishment I saw Saki standing with her eyes holding surprise no smaller than mine.

"Yo." I said awkwardly looking at her holding a notepad in her right hand. For a moment I thought I saw her hand shaking nervously, but then she stepped towards us. She put a smile on her face and said:

"Hi."

Iroha waved to her and said with an ever so happy smile.

"Yahallo, Kawasaki-senpai."

I felt a weird sensation. The atmosphere got tense a bit.

"So, you're working here, Saki?" As I asked her that question I noticed a cold stare on me. Iroha shot me an angry glare. Aw.. She made me not to call her by her given name.

"Yes, I've been working here for two weeks actually." she replied, her voice was somehow lukewarm, indifferent.

"So, what would you like to order?" she asked us.

"I would like to have that apple cake." Iroha said pointing to the picture on a leaflet.

"As for me…"

"Which of these ramen soups would you recommend, Kawasaki?" This time I made sure to not enrage Iroha. And she wasn't mad this time. However I could see a dangerous glint in the blue eyes of Saki. Her mouth twitched.

"I believe they're all quite similar in taste." she gave an answer with a cold voice. Crap, I think I should have avoided calling her name.

The atmosphere was bad enough, but then Iroha went in…

"So now that we made our order, could you leave us both alone, Kawasaki-san." Iroha said it with a perfect smile, her eyes excluding friendliness.

Saki on the other hand was looking at both of us with a frigid stare. It reminded me of a certain snow queen. I didn't know there was someone else able to mimic it.

"As you wish." She said and then left us both sitting.

I looked at Iroha. Unwittingly I was angry at her behaviour.

"Weren't you a bit too harsh to Sa… I mean Kawasaki?" I asked cautiously.

"What do you mean, senpai?"

"I mean, you weren't polite. In fact you were impolite."

"It doesn't really matter, does it? I just want to have a bit of time with you alone. That's it." She said and then leant over me. Her head was on my shoulder.
I sighed. I didn't want to make a ruckus here.

"I guess not."

Kawasaki didn't bring us our orders, a different waitress took over her task. Well, I don't blame her. Iroha was impolite to her, but still I was a bit downcast.

Afterwards we parted our ways, Iroha went to her home and I headed to mine.

In the middle of my route I had met her.

Haruno Yukinoshita looked gorgeous as ever. She was standing seemingly without a purpose. I knew there was no such a thing Haruno would do without a purpose. She looked at me, smiled and waved.

"Yahallo, Hikigaya."

"It's such a surprise seeing you here." She said these words, but there was no trace of surprise in her eyes.

"Good evening, Yukinoshita-san." I said calmly.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"My, my? Why should I want anything. I just happened to bump into you." she laughed.

"Let's go for a walk." she said.

"This time I am sure nobody will interrupt us."

"How so?"

"Just a hunch." She smiled at me.

I sighed.

"Fine, but we'll walk towards my house."

"Fine by me."

"So, tell me Hikigaya, how does it feel?" I knew exactly what she meant by it. There was no chance she wouldn't know about my being with Iroha.

"How does what feel?" I asked nonetheless.

"Don't play dumb with me, Hikigaya. I don't have the mood for this today." Her voice was now much colder than before.

I coughed.

"I guess it's good."

"That's good." She replied.

"I really hope it will work out." I added.

She nodded.

"You didn't listen to my warning, as it seems. You should have trusted your loving onee-san."

"I won't be manipulated by you." I said firmly.

She laughed surprised by my words.

"You really are the best, but don't worry. I am not a manipulative woman. I am simply a concerned onee-san." She said.

Every time she said something like this I could feel shivers down my spine.

"Either way, you didn't listen to my warning. You didn't want to be manipulated. I guess that's fine, but you choose unknowingly the… " She smiled again.

"The other option. Doesn't really matter as I see it. But let me tell you a story."

I didn't say anything. I just kept walking.

"There was a boy. He was a very clever one. He lived in a village not far from a river. And there was a witch. Everyone was scared of her."

"He knew one should be careful around her. Then came a drought. Because of it the river was becoming more and more dry. He was scared that the river would dry up and they would all die. There was another river a few kilometers away. A bigger one."

"So, he decided to go there with all the other villagers."

"Strangely, the witch came to him. She told him not to do it. He asked her about it. Why? Why shouldn't we? She kept silent, because she couldn't tell him. It was against rules to warn him and telling him everything would be extremely dangerous to her. She shouldn't have warned him, actually. The witches were forbidden to do so, yet she liked the boy, so she warned him."

"He decided not to listen to her. How could he trust her? He moved to the other river."

"They set a new village there."

She made a pause.

"It seems our little chat came to its end." She said and pointed to the doors of my house.

"They set a new village and?"

"And it was all perfect. They lived there happily." She said after a moment of thought. She smiled then and her smile was dark as the abyss. It made me shiver.

Before I knew I asked her again. It wasn't the end of the story. I knew it. It couldn't be. Not in a story of hers.

"But?"

She smiled.

"But then a storm came."

"And it was raining and raining heavily."

"And then the river flooded their village."

"Do you know what pained him most? The boy?" she asked dramatically.

I didn't say anything.

"He couldn't stand looking at the water flooding them, because at that moment he remembered the words of the witch. He realized she didn't have any ill will."

"It made him suffer the most. The warning that he didn't listen to."

"But it was too late." She added with a melancholic look on her face.

"There is no telling they would have survived near the old river. The drought may have killed them all even faster." I said.

"You're right. It could have, but it didn't make his grieve any smaller."

And then silence enveloped us for a moment.

After a minute she smiled and turned to me once again.

"Luckily stories are just stories. Fairy tales, right?" She looked at me with a sad look on her face.

"I guess so."

"See you soon, Hikigaya. I also hope for the best for you."

I stood there silent as she disappeared into the night.

The rest of the week was normal, I guess. We had spent time together at school, me and Iroha. I got much more used to bodytouch and I've learnt to remember every characteristic of her. Her smell, the texture of her skin. Her breath and lips. We got to know each other much more. Obviously, we didn't cross any borders if you were curious about it.

Regarding the club.

Somehow I only went to the clubroom on friday only to see it empty. It felt bad, but soon Iroha made me forget about it.

Totsuka cheered by me was preparing himself mentally to confess to Meguri-senpai.

The atmosphere in the class was still different, but I got used to it somehow.

Truth be said I can mostly think about Iroha's lips when I try to remember the rest of the week. I didn't pay attention to much more eventually. My thoughts were filled with the images of her.

Maybe I am falling in love, slowly?

Then saturday came and I went to the gym with Reiji.

"You seem to be quite energetic today."

"Really, I am not so sure" I replied.

"You were humming when you came in." Hinami said with a weak smile.

"You didn't seem to be that kind of person to be humming in a public place, I think." she added then.

I blushed a bit.

"I guess you're right, I had a nice day yesterday." I said with a little, forced laugh.

I hope it didn't look creepy.

"I see, I hope today will be a nice one too." She winked.

"Go, Reiji is already waiting for you."

I nodded and went to the locker room.

"Just two more."

"Last one!"

"Uff…" I made it. The last rep. It was 10 kg more than the first time, so I was quite proud of myself.

"Nice." My green eyed 'gymbro' said to me.

"You seem to be much happier, now that you've got a girlfriend." He said a little bit mockingly.

"A girlfriend, how do you know?" I asked confused.

He seemed to think for a moment.

"How, you said it just now."

I stared at him, bewildered. Was he really that clever? Or did he get to know about it somehow?

"So, how is it?" he asked warmly.

"Hm… I guess, fine? I mean I think it's good."

"Well that's good, certainly." He smiled, but his eyes were emotionless. I don't know what's broken with him, but these eyes aren't normal at all. Not that mine are any better.

"Time to round it up. I think." He said after a moment.

"I think I've got energy for something more." I said.

He looked at me surprised.

"No, it was enough for you for today. You shouldn't overexert yourself."

"If you think so." I said reluctantly and headed towards the locker room.

"See ya." He said.

"Yo."

NO!

How could it happen! HOW!?

There was no MaxCoffee left. I stood in front of the vending machine, my heart was aching. I felt betrayed by the world. It was exactly what I needed after a workout. The only beverage.
As I stood there depressed, Hinami walked to me.

She patted me on my back.

"I see. It's sold out." she said with a compassing voice.

"How? But why?" I asked.

"I guess I might have bought it too many times." She said and chuckled. Her black eyes were filled with little sparks of enjoyment.

"You made me this way." She smiled.

I looked at her confused. Is she by any chance interested in me? I don't remember the last time I had such a thought in my mind. I always kicked it out, yet somehow I got the feeling that it might not be a delusion. I guess, after all things happened with Iroha I got somehow more self confident.

"Well, glad to see another worshipper of Max, but seriously do you know where can I buy it?"

"I think in the monkey store, you know that little family shop a few hundred of meters from here." she said with her index finger on her lips.

"Thanks, I think I'll get going."

"Bye."

Once again I was in the monkey store, it seems I had become a frequent saturday customer.

I grabbed a can of MaxCoffee and went to the cashier. I looked around, but there was no trace of blue hair. It seems she isn't here. I was a bit disappointed, search me why.

I sighed. I walked out to the windy street and went home.

...

"Hikigaya-kun. Today, 6 p.m. We need to meet."

"But why?" I asked dumbfounded.

"I can't tell you. Just go meet me then near the cafe anteiku. You know the place?"

"I know it, but I don't understand… Why should I?"

"Just go there! Trust me this one time. You really have to." Something in the tone of Haruno made me listen to her. She was dead serious. There was no fake notes in the melody of her voice. She was honest and serious.

"I'll be there, it better be something important." I hang up.

We sat down. She ordered two black coffees.

"So, what is it?" I asked. I was already becoming a little bit impatient. Not only did she say nothing about this important thing, but also she didn't seem to intend to do so.

"You'll see. Now enjoy your coffee. For now you can."

"I don't like it bitter." I retorted. She looked at me with an empty smile.

"You better do."

We were sitting in the corner of this cafe. I had never been here, but I've heard it was one of the older ones. With tradition or something like this. Though bitter the coffee was aromatic.

We waited 10 minutes. I had been tapping with my finger on the table for 8 minutes by now. Haruno seemed imperturbable. She only looked at her phone from time to time. She then looked at me and said.

"Don't do something stupid. Just sit and listen and watch. Do not say anything." She was serious right now. What was with all of this?

The doors opened and there came Iroha. She was dressed very nicely. She sported a pink sweater and a skirt. She was smiling warmly and laughing. She went in. She couldn't see me from her perspective, we were sitting in a way that we could see everything, but nobody could really see us. Sort like the one-way mirror.

I wanted to stand up and go to her, but Haruno grabbed me and ordered me to sit.

Then came Hayama. Iroha turned around and laughed. She said something. Because of the distance I couldn't really see anything. Hayama took her hand and led her to a table near the window.

I was already standing up, but Haruno's grip told me not to do anything.

"Don't do anything." She hissed. I looked at her. I didn't want to listen to her. I wanted to go there and hit Hayama and go with Iroha somewhere else. But something in the voice of Haruno told me to listen to her for a moment at least.

They were closer now. If we focused enough we could hear them talking.

"But, should we really be doing this, Iroha?" Hayama said.

I gritted my teeth. First-name basis, huh?

"What do you mean, why shouldn't we?" Iroha said and then leaned over to him. She was nearly lying on him. She was touching his chest.

My fists were clenched and I felt blood running down my wrist, because of the nails cutting through my skin. I tried to breath in and out. Haruno looked calmly at me. Her eyes were telling me to stay idly.

"Isn't Hikigaya your boyfriend? Aren't you with him?" he said tentatively. Iroha laughed gently. And neared herself to him.

"I am, but it can all be in the past. It doesn't matter." She kissed him.

"He doesn't matter. I love you." She added.

I didn't move. I just sat there with blood dripping down my arm. My eyes hurt. My heart hurt. My head hurt. I couldn't breath.

THIS IS NOT TRUE.

THIS CAN'T BE TRUE!

IT'S HER. IT'S HARUNO'S DOING.

Haruno said quietly to me.

"This is the truth."

No.

"This is the truth, Hikigaya-kun." she repeated herself.

No.

"This isn't the genuine thing you're looking for. She is not genuine. You were mistaken."

No.

"It's just what it looks like."

No.

"This must be your doing. It's not truth. It's another one of your plots. You try to deceive me!"

I raised my voice. I think I raised it to much. I didn't really care about it.

"I am not. Face the…" She couldn't finish her sentence.

"NO! This is a fucking bullshit. It's not! NOT TRUE!"

"You disappoint me, Hikigaya-kun. I thought you could face the tru.." she tried to finish her sentence.

I stood up. I looked once again towards the table Iroha and Hayama were sitting at. They really were here. No doubt. They were here!

I stepped forward. There were countless emotions mixed in my head. Anger, Madness, Hate, Love, Disappointment, Hurt, Sadness. Everything. I breathed chaotically. I remember the words:

"I love you, senpai." These words. So, it wasn't true. Nothing's true.

I walked towards them. Everything seemed nonexistent to me, blurred like from a nightmare.

Iroha looked at me. She stuttered.

"I…"

"Don't say anything." I looked at Hayama.

"And you…" I grabbed him by his collar. He didn't react. He looked at me absentmindedly. It only made me angrier.

"You… You fucking bastard!" I hit him. I hit him once. There was blood. He was bleeding from his nose. I looked at Iroha one last time.

"Have a nice day, you two." I uttered this words and walked off.

Into the night.

Though I vowed, though I swore… Though I promised myself I wouldn't commit the same error over and over again. Though I earnestly kept myself in check… Eventually I failed and forgot about the meaning of these words that the prince said. Oh… How pathetic I am…

The words "I love you." have different meanings, so it seems. I didn't understand it. I didn't understand. I didn't understand that she didn't really mean love. Nobody knows what she did mean. Certainly not love. Words are the source of misunderstandings. I should have seen. I should have known.

Oh… How pathetic I am.

I ran into the night. I fell down a few times. I wandered aimlessly. I cried. I cried and I swore.

I didn't know where I was. What's real after all?

I don't know. I don't know.

I sobbed. I was on a bridge it seems. The dark music of the water beneath me was mesmerizing me. Bewitching me. It seemed to be talking to me. It was consoling me.

It looked so nice. The dark depths. Maybe this was it? This was how it was meant to be?

Why should I? Why should I struggle? I remembered again. Her laugh. The words.

"He doesn't matter. I love you." I cried once more. I hit the brick with my fist. It was bleeding, but the physical pain seemed so nice. It was embracing me. It was wonderful, because for one second at least it let me not feel the mental pain. To not see. To not hear the words.

"I love you."

¨He doesn't matter."

I hit the wall once again. I looked at the water. Now free of thoughts.

Maybe that's it.

The beauty of the water was alluring me. I stood up. I climbed onto the fence.

I didn't fear anything. I was suddenly calm. It's all bullshit. It surely is a dream, Haruno is manipulating me. It's just her plot. It's not true! Nothing's true. I just need to wake up. One step. One final step. I looked down. The wind was howling. I recalled it once again. The kiss. Kiss with Hayama. Her laugh. Her betrayal. I took a step…

...

I fell down.

I fell down and hit.

I fell down and hit the pavement.

Someone is picking me up. Blue eyes. Or not? Green?

He grabs me and tells me to walk. I listen politely to him. I walk. I see nothing but darkness.

"What the fuck were you doing!" The man shouted at me. We're somewhere. A room, maybe? I don't know.

I kept silent.

He punched me. I fell down on the floor. I spilled blood. I laughed.

"Why were you so egoistic, you damn brat!" He hissed, anger, great anger was in his voice.

I was laughing, crying and laughing at the same time. Why didn't the water embrace me? What happened, was I saved or was my suffering only prolonged.

"It's not just you. It's not only you in the world."

Door opened, someone went in.

"What were you thinking, your sister. Your family. Everyone! Every fucking one. You wanted to make them suffer?" He kicked me.

I screamed. I laughed. I cried. Then I sobbed and finally I hushed. I looked hollowly into the ceiling.

I don't recall it, yet it seems so nice. It's white.

"Stop it!" I heard.

"Don't hurt him, please." I kept looking at the same spot.

"Hachiman, hachiman can you hear me?" I don't hear you. Or maybe. I chuckled. Blood ran down my nose.

Someone hugged me. I was silent, but someone else was crying for me. I was hugged by someone. My tears that were no more were now replaced by that someone's tears. They were falling down on me.

Don't cry. It will make me sad. I don't want to be sad.

I kept silent.

And then I fell asleep.


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