A Bad Deal?

Where Angels Fall

Bella stayed the whole day at Rosalie's house. She had to. It didn't feel right to leave the blonde alone in such a state. Bella had dragged the other girl up to her bedroom. Once on the covers, the blonde's tears and shaking had quieted down until at last she had dozed off into sleep. Bella had sat with her there for a good hour or two just to make sure she didn't throw up. When Rosalie seemed in the clear with that, Bella had gone downstairs and just...walked around. She didn't know what else to do. She knew she had to talk to Rosalie. It was high time they had a conversation. And not just any, but a meaningful one. Now that Bella's memories had been jostled, she vaguely recalled a young blonde haired girl with cherub cheeks and baby curls, and having spent some time with her.

Bella had blocked all memories of her childhood here in Forks. She had to.

She stepped on some glass as she paced around and hurriedly removed her foot from it, checking if any of the glass had pierced through her converse. It hadn't. Bella put her foot back down in a safer place and gave a look at the state of the house. It was a true mess. Maybe she should clean it up? Rosalie was out like a light and who knows how much time it would be before she woke. But Bella wasn't going to leave this place until she got answers.

So she began to fix up some of the damage that was minor. Like placing ripped pillows on the couches, cleaning up the glass and liquor bottles. Opening the drawn curtains to let some light in.

It was six pm when a huge thud came from upstairs, signaling that Rosalie had finally awoken. Bella made her way upstairs, tingling with nerves and hands sweaty. How would the blonde react to her now? Would she yell at her? Try to seduce her like last time?

Bella opened the door and found that Rosalie had fallen out of bed in a mess of sheets and pillows. She was currently cursing under her breath as she fought to untangle herself, back turned to Bella. She didn't know the brunette was here and Bella was silent as she watched the blonde struggle. Only when Rosalie had succeeded in freeing herself and turning on her bed did she see Bella.

"Shit!" The startled blonde jumped, placing a hand to her chest. "Don't scare me like that."

"How are you feeling?" Bella asked instead. "You had a lot to drink."

"I don't see why you should care," Rosalie tried to snarl back but there was no bite to her words. She looked tired and worn. Like an empty shell of her usual confident self. Self consciously she drew the blankets around herself and buried her head in it.

"I care about you, despite what you might think," Bella said softly as she took a step forwards into the room than hesitated. Took a deep breath. Swallowed deeply. "We need to talk."

Rosalie didn't answer.

"Please," Bella begged. Then she used the one word that the blonde could not resist. "Rose."

"Oh, so now you remember me, when it's most convenient," Rosalie said bitterly. She lifted her head up, eyes dead. Defeated.

"I truly forgot until you mentioned it-"

"Why did you forget?" a broken whisper. Rosalie's eyes could not focus on Bella's face.

"Because I had locked away everything from Forks, from my childhood here, so it wouldn't hurt." Bella knew she had to tell Rosalie her reasons, even if they might sound stupid or contrived. Because if she didn't tell the blonde them, then she might be lost to Bella forever, and Bella couldn't give up, not when she was beginning to get a sense of what Rosalie truly felt for her.

"I didn't want to move back to Arizona. I didn't want to leave all my friends here. All my good memories."

Rosalie seemed to be thinking this over. "Then why didn't you tell me when you were leaving? Why did you leave me in the dark?" Rosalie wasn't so much angry as she was disappointed and this was almost worse.

"I honestly...thought you wouldn't care."

"But I did. I cared so much. You're friendship meant so much to me then..." Rosalie sighed heavily.

"And now?" Bella tentatively voiced out, timorous.

Rosalie gave another sigh, followed by a sad laugh. "Fuck it, I already said some incriminating shit, I might as well tell you everything else. So that you can look down on me, and make fun of me."

"I'm not going to-"

"I love you. I'm in love with you. And I have been ever since I met you that day at the creek. But you hurt me when you left to Arizona without telling me. I was mad and upset at you for doing that, but I also missed you. A lot. It was hard for me to make friends, a true friend, who didn't just hang out with me for money and because they were forced to. You were different, you cared for me but not for the usual reasons. You cared for my feelings and opinions and you treated me like an equal. And then you took that away from me- took away the only friendship I ever had. You betrayed me." Rosalie's voice was wavering but it didn't sound full of tears, just bitterness.

"I had to get over that in the years following, but it wasn't easy. Just when I thought I finally let go of my resentment, you came back to Forks and all my pent up hurt and anger resurfaced and I didn't know how to act around you anymore. I wanted to be your friend. I wanted to make you hurt like you'd made me hurt. That's why I was so cruel to you for the longest time. Because I resented you. But I didn't really, because I just wanted to be your friend again in the very least. And this whole time I was conflicted and I didn't know how to act around you and I wanted you gone and I wanted you close to me and just...God," said in an exasperated sigh as Rosalie ran her hands through her knotted hair.

"It was enough to drive me mad. I didn't know what to do with myself. I decided maybe if I was extremely rude to you, you'd eventually drop out of the school and stop tormenting me with your presence. Because you didn't remember me. Not at all. And that hurt more than anything else. I wish I didn't remember you because then at least I wouldn't be hurt by your lack of recognition. But you were kind and patient and caring. Like you always fucking were. And you didn't fold under my actions. You came out stronger than before. And I couldn't stop from wanting to be your friend again. So I tried to be good to you. Tried to make us on the same footing. But then you did that thing with Alice. You fucked with her, you feel right into her trap. She's only using you to hurt me, Bella. And she won. Because knowing that you spent the night with her..." Rosalie swallowed thickly and bit her lip, fighting to keep her emotions back.

"It broke my heart. I ran away. And I stayed away. And I've been home drinking every night and day ever since. But I guess I deserved that. I was a bitch to you. For so long. For so damn long...I only wonder, if I had been nice to you that day we first crossed paths in detention, would things have turned out differently?" A pause, to collect strength for her voice. "So I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry for everything I've put you through."

Bella, who had stood frozen the whole time, mind whirling as she struggled to digest this, sat down on the covers next to the blonde, wrapping two shaking arms around her frame.

Rosalie loved her. Was in love with her. Had been for a while.

How could have Bella not seen this before? Not seen how much sleeping with Alice hurt her?

She felt stupid for not realizing Rosalie was Rose much earlier, but that hadn't been her fault. She couldn't control her memories. And hearing how much pain this thing had caused her- God, Rosalie had been in love with ever ever since then? That was incredible. Bella had nowhere nearly been in love with Rosalie for that long.

"Rosalie, I don't hate you. And I'm not going to laugh at you. Because I have a story to tell you too." Bella cleared her throat to begin her tale.

"When I started middle school in Arizona, I thought my biggest concern would be in making friends. I luckily had an easy time making some, but things began to go downhill when I realized I had romantic feelings for this one girl. Her name was Victoria and she was pretty. Long red hair, a tongue piercing, and that bad girl skater vibe going on that a lot of kids liked but only few could pull off. I didn't think of my feelings for her as wrong. My mom had raised me to believe that no matter between who, love was love. So I had no qualms in appreciating and accepting my sexuality, and it made me confident. Made me tell Victoria that I liked her when I had been foolish to think that she too had been raised to accept all forms of love."

Bella never told anyone about her past, even afraid to think of it in her own head. But she felt the need to tell Rosalie this. To ease her pain. And in a way, telling Rosalie all this felt right.

"When I told her, thinking that she might like me back, since we spent so much time together, she laughed at me. She sneered at me. And then she began to bully me. She would yells slurs at me, push and kick me in the halls. And she wasn't the only one who did it. She got her friends to do it too. I was soon too afraid to even go to school, coming home with bruises and ripped clothes. I tried to keep it hidden from my mom, but she found out and she took it to the school. Victoria got suspended from school for that. Along with her little friends. But because of their suspension, it only made them go harder after me.

"One night they came to my house when I was sleeping." Bella could feel Rosalie take a quick inhale at that, although she stayed quiet. "They tapped my mouth shut, tied me up, and did..." at this Bella quickly wiped away a tear that had streamed down her cheek. "Terrible things. They beat me up, cut me. Then went around my room and destroyed my things. Pissed on my clothes, ripped up my books, stole my money and games.

"After that, my mom decided we had to move houses. We did. But we both knew it wouldn't be enough to stop them. So we took legal action against them. And all of Victoria and her friends went to juvy for their actions. I was finally safe. But the damage had been done. I was traumatized, and no one in school dared to talk to me because they were afraid if they said one wrong thing they'd end up in prison as well.

"My mom and I both decided it would be best if I went to Forks to live with my dad. And I moved. But I had to go to counseling. I was too scared to go to school. So I took a year off before enrolling in Forks high. And that's where I met you for the second time."

Rosalie's shoulder's tensed, waiting for Bella's sharp words to fall. But they didn't.

"And it was love at first sight."

Rosalie picked up her head to shoot Bella an incredulous look, questions on her lips. Bella continued, not looking at the blonde but at the blank wall in front of her. "I was attracted to you. You also had that bad girl vibe going on that I so much loved. And you were pretty. I'm sound really shallow right now," Bella chuckled at herself. "I wanted to get to know you. So even though you were such a bitch to me, I didn't really mind because I got to be closer to you. But I wasn't going to stand around and take your shit either. That mishap with Victoria taught me that. But I wasn't going to use violence to stop you, but friendship. I wanted you to be my friend. So I was kind to you. And I had thought my kindness had gotten through. Had thought we were...something. But then that night when we kissed in the closet...it was both the best and worst night. I felt so stupid and silly for thinking my feelings had gotten through to you. That for some reason you liked me. But then you had done a complete 180 when we left, and I felt dirty, unwanted. Like I was your dirty little secret. And I couldn't take that. Because I could stand physical violence, but I wasn't going to let you hurt my feelings, wasn't going to let you make me regret being gay like Victoria had."

At this Bella let out a long sigh as if she had just poured her soul out. And in a way she had. She briefly closed her eyes and buried her face in the crook of Rosalie's neck. "So that's everything I had to say."

Slowly Rosalie's arms came up to circle around Bella's thin shoulders. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For...everything." Rosalie licked her lips, trying to find the right words. "For...being you. For being Bella."

And they sat like that just holding each other, taking comfort from finally understanding.

A/N: Finally got to this point.