Interlude One
Conversations With Yourself
In a twist of luck, Rosalyn was working on her PADD when Rose called and answered immediately. The elder woman's black eyes softened instantly at her counterpart's griefstricken expression.
"Who'd you lose?" She asked gently and Rose's shoulders slumped at the understanding in her voice.
"Am I that obvious?"
Rosalyn smiled sympathetically, shaking her head. "I was a Captain for over a decade," she pointed out. "I lost a lot of people. Never gets easier, I'm afraid. What happened?"
"We picked up a distress signal from the USS Valiant," Rose began only for Rosalyn to interrupt.
"You crossed the edge of the galaxy, several crewmembers with high ESP ratings collapsed, most dying but one or two of them surviving and becoming godlike, the situation declining until they lost themselves completely and you were forced to kill them for the safety of the rest of the ship. Am I right?"
Rose nodded. "It was Gary Mitchell," she added and Rosalyn sighed heavily.
"Happened to me as well but later of course. How're you holding up?"
Rose rubbed her temples. "It's the first time people under my command have been killed. Everyone keeps saying that it wasn't my fault but I still gave the order to cross out of the galaxy. I was the one to kill him."
"I know," Rosalyn murmured. "And I get what you're feeling. But you need to accept it. You have to use it to improve yourself as a Captain. Space is dangerous and mysterious. There's no way to prevent casualties completely, only to minimize them. You can only do that by learning from your mistake. Just be sure not to start doubting yourself, if you hesitate and don't trust your instincts, more will die, not less. The good of the many outweighs the good of the few. It's a painful lesson but an important one."
Some might have thought it was odd but Rose felt a lot better after Rosalyn's advice than she had after Bones' awkward "it wasn't your fault, Rose."
"Thanks," she said before suddenly snorting at a passing thought.
"What?" Rosalyn cocked her head in a way that reminded Rose of Spock.
"I was just thinking how narcissistic it is that I enjoy speaking to myself so much," Rose explained. Rosalyn shrugged.
"We're the same at the core of it," she pointed out. "I have mostly the same opinions as you do, I know what will and won't help. You don't need to hear that it wasn't your fault, you need someone to understand and to find something that you can actually do to let you make up for it as much as possible. You're not gonna forget what happened and frankly, I'd be upset if you did, but you can honour them by saving as many lives as possible."
Rose nodded at her. "Thanks," she said before changing the subject. "How's everything at the colony going?"
Rosalyn had somehow gotten herself made a member of the current Admirality and then named head of Starfleet's base on the Vulcan colony. She'd also managed to get her Bones made chief of the hospital there too.
Rose wasn't sure how but she suspected that Rosalyn had probably blackmailed them into it somehow. Telepathy was always a handy thing when you wanted to 'convince' someone to be on your side.
"It's as good as can be expected," Rosalyn shrugged. She bit her lip for a second. "Actually, Spock, Bones and I have adopted a young orphan. We knew her counterpart in our reality and it would've been, difficult, for her to be adopted by others."
Rose blinked in surprise at the news. "Oh, wow. Congratulations, I suppose. What's her name, and why would it be difficult for her to be adopted by someone else?" She asked.
Rosalyn gave a slightly tense smile. "Saavik. She's half-Vulcan, half-Romulan."
"Half-Romulan? How in Four Deities' names?"
"The Romulans had a project going on called the Hellguard Project on one of their colonies," Rosalyn's jaw was tense and there was anger in her eyes. "They used a bunch of crash-landed Vulcans for reproductive services to try and gain their telepathy and weaponize it via the children. For us, it was only discovered after over a decade I think, but I informed the Admirality about it a month ago. A team was sent immediately of course, given the circumstances.
It had only started a year and a half-ago and Saavik was the first to survive. The Vulcans have all been reunited with their families but none of them wanted Saavik and her mother died in birth so when Spock recognized her we decided to take her. It's odd though, Saavik from our timeline was born in 2264 and the youngest of the children."
"Wow," Rose repeated. "That's just wow. So, the three of you are gonna raise her then?"
Rosalyn nodded her smile slightly pained. "Not the first child I've raised."
"Anything else going on?" Rose asked quickly to change the subject and saw hesitation on her counterpart's face. "What? What is it?"
"Nothing urgent," Rosalyn hastily reassured her. "there's just something I'm investigating. It might not be a worry here, but if it is, I'm going to stop it."
"What is it you're investigating?" Rose asked suspiciously. Rosalyn pulled a hand through her grey-blonde hair. It was surprising how young she looked at 85 years old but a combination of space radiation exposure in the womb and being stuck in some 'space ribbon' with her Bones for seventy years
"When I'm done checking this out, then I will tell you what it is." She promised and Rose felt bad at the tired look in her other self's eyes. "I wanted to look earlier but I couldn't get the chance. I will tell you though, if it pans out or not."
"Okay," Rose agreed. "Give my regards to your men. I'll comm you both again soon I hope. You can introduce me to Saavik."
The Admiral flashed a grin, her hazel eyes brightening a bit. "'Course. Enjoy your travels. They're some of the best days of your life, speaking from experience."
Rose nodded again and they both waved before the screen went black and she sat back with a sigh. She felt better after the talk. A knock came at the door and she groaned quietly at the thought of having to do anything except rest for the remainder of the night.
"Come in," she called, sitting up straighter. Spock walked into the room, his usual blank expression on. "Ah," she murmured. "Mr. Spock. Is there something you needed?"
Spock shook his head. "No Captain. I simply," he faltered for a second, and she felt a hint of nervousness coming from behind his shields before continuing. "I know that you frequently play chess with the computer. Mr. Sulu informed me that you beat everyone else and they would no longer engage you in a game."
Rose leaned forward slightly, feeling hopeful. "Yes, that's right. Are you offering to play a game Mr. Spock?"
Spock dipped his head. "I am."
Rose grinned in delight, both at the prospect of playing an actual person for once and at the small progress she seemed to have made with her First Officer. "Sounds great," she told him sincerely. "I'll set up my board."
Maybe the whole, "epic friendship" thing would work out after all.
