"About Jimin?" I ask, astounded. Namjoon nods, not offering me any more of a response. Huffing out a breath, I sit back in my chair, squeezing my arms in tighter around myself. "You ambushed me to talk about him? Why on Earth would we need to talk about Jimin?" Neither of them give me an answer as they continue to stare at me skeptically. I start to squirm, uncomfortable with being stared at for so long. Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, Namjoon speaks.
"He's your soulmate, Yoongi," he says blatantly, my heart stopping at his words.
Is he crazy? Jin doesn't know anything about this! Don't bring this up here!
"Don't bring this up here, Namjoon," I voice, throwing a pointed glance in Jin's direction.
"It's okay, Yoongi," he says calmly. "Jin already knows everything about it."
I stand from the couch, anger filling me. Their eyes follow my movements warily, unsure of what I would do next, as I spoke. "What do you mean, he already knows?" I growl through gritted teeth, my furious gaze landing on Namjoon.
"I mean that I already told him," Namjoon explains. Betrayal sweeps through me at his words, mixing with my ever-increasing anger until the two emotions swirl inside me, wrecking everything in their path.
"What in the actual fuck, Namjoon!" I yell, my voice going up a few octaves in my emotional state. "You guys got engaged, that's great! I'm happy for you! But that does not mean that my secrets-" I throw my hand out, gesturing to Jin, who just sits quietly, unable to meet my eyes, "-become Jin's secrets as well!" I kick out, a thud echoing throughout the room as my booted foot comes in contact with the table, knocking it from its previous position. "I guess years of friendship means nothing to you, huh?" Namjoon's face falls at my words, sadness washing over his features. It does little to ease my anger though. "Whatever, I'm going home. Whether Jimin is my soulmate or not, it doesn't matter because that's something I only talk about with trusted friends. And apparently I can't trust any one in this damn room!"
I move quickly towards the door, needing to leave quickly, when someone grabs my arm, jerking me to a stop. I look back, my angry gaze meeting Jin's pleading one. "Don't leave, Yoongi," he pleads, eyes glossy with unshed tears. "It was an accident, I swear. He let it slip and I bugged him until he told me the whole thing." He squeezes my arm tighter, a tear falling to run down his cheek. "It's my fault. So please, don't blame him," he begs me, his voice thick with emotion.
I shake his hand off my arm and turn towards him, "This doesn't concern you, Jin."
His cheeks redden, more tears spilling down his cheeks. He swipes at them angrily, only to have more take their place. "It does concern me," he cries. "This is all my fault. And you-" he takes a deep breath, his shoulders shuddering, "-you're Namjoon's only friend, Yoongi. I can't be the reason that he loses you." A soft sob escapes him, tears rushing down his face as he gives up on keeping them at bay. Seeing Jin's desperate attempts to keep me and Namjoon together, my anger dissipates.
I gently place my hands on the sides of his face, cradling his cheeks as I wipe away the tears that were still running. "Okay, Jin. Shh," I speak quietly, trying to soothe him. "It's okay. I won't leave."
"Promise?" he asks quietly, his eyes desperate.
"I promise," I swear, stepping back from him. I walk back to the couch, reclaiming my previous spot as Jin does the same. Exhaling, I lock eyes with Namjoon. "I may have overreacted a bit. My bad," I apologize.
Shaking his head, he gives me a dismal smile. "No, I get it. I shouldn't have told Jin. That secret was something you told me in confidence. I should've respected that," he apologizes, reaching out to place his hand on my knee. I place mine on top of his, giving it a small squeeze before sitting back.
"I was gonna tell Jin, anyway," I lie, shrugging.
"Mhm," Namjoon hums, seeing straight through my lie. Thankfully, he doesn't call me out on it. I watch as Namjoon looks at Jin, his eyes shining with gratitude. He reaches out, brushing his thumb across Jin's cheek bone. "You didn't have to cry, Jinnie," he says softly.
Jin pouts, but leans his face into Namjoon's hand anyway. "Well you didn't have to try and take all the blame," he shoots back.
Namjoon chuckles, placing a quick kiss on Jin's cheek. "You're right. I'm sorry, love."
I make heaving noises, breaking their moment. "Seriously, guys. Just get a room," I whine.
"We're in a room," Namjoon points out, one of his brows quirking.
Groaning, I throw my hands over my eyes. "One without me in it," I clarify, mumbling out a quiet, "Stupid couples."
"You're just jealous," Jin teases me. "You wish you and Jimin could be this cute."
"Jimin and I are not, and never will be a couple," I defend.
Jin opens his mouth to say something else, but Namjoon clears his throat, cutting off Jin's retort. "That's actually what we wanted to talk to you about," he says, giving Jin a disapproving look that makes the older sit back, his bottom lip sticking out in a pout.
"You wanted to talk to me about Jimin and I not being a couple?" I ask, confused.
"Exactly," Namjoon says, nodding.
"Okayyyy," I drawl. "But why?"
"We think you should be one," Jin pipes up, abandoning his pouting to grin at me.
"Me and Jimin? A couple?"
"He's your soulmate, Yoongi," Namjoon tells me again, for what feels to me to be the millionth time.
"I know that," I groan, annoyed. "I knew it before anyone else did! It has nothing to do with anything!"
Namjoon looks at me, his eyes telling me that he didn't believe a thing I was saying. "How long are you going to tell yourself that, Yoongi?"
"What do you mean?"
"We've been friends for almost our whole lives, Yoongi. And for a lot of that, you always loved the idea of finding your soulmate." He scoots his chair closer to mine, never once taking his eyes from mine. "Do you remember when we were in high school and all those girls confessed to you?"
"Of course, it was super annoying," I scoff. "That's why I turned them all down."
"That's not it, Yoongi. You turned them down because they weren't your soulmate, right?"
"I mean that's part of it," I say warily, unsure of where he was going with this.
"Everytime someone would come to you, you'd turn them down. And then you'd tell me: 'They're not my soulmate, Namjoon. I can't be with someone when I know that we're not meant to be. What if they have a soulmate, somewhere out in the world, that needs them like I need mine? How could I take that away from them?'"
"I remember what I said, Namjoon," I say, growing annoyed at all these trips down memory lane.
"If you remember what you said, then why are you being like this?" He asks, his voice raising in his frustration. Jin places a hand on his thigh, trying to soothe him.
"What he means, Yoongi, is that back then all you wanted was your soulmate. Now you've found him, yet you refuse to do anything about it," Jin explains calmly.
"Maybe I just don't like Jimin?" I say defensively.
Namjoon scoffs, "Yeah. And pigs fucking fly, Yoongi."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that you're either super stubborn or super stupid."
"You little-"
"Now, now, boys," Jin says, cutting us off before it could turn into another fight. "He's not trying to insult you, Yoongi. He's just trying to get you to see that your being blind."
I bark out a sarcastic laugh, "So now instead of being colorblind, I'm completely blind?"
"Your colorblindness is what is making you so blind," Namjoon exclaims, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "All your life, you've been colorblind. For something that happened a long time ago that you had nothing to do with. But never once have I heard you complain about it. You've handled it all on your own, and I was so jealous of you." My mouth drops open at his admission, but he continues on. "You were so strong and never looked to anyone else for help. You never got into a relationship because you were afraid of depriving someone of their soulmate. And I think, eventually, you became afraid of finding your own."
"That's ridiculous," I say, dismissing his claims.
"Just listen to him, Yoongi," Jin chastises me. I sit back in my chair, crossing my arms in front of me as I wait for Namjoon to continue his crazy theory.
"You have always dealt with your curse on your own, Yoongi. And now you have a chance to let someone else help you. But you're afraid, aren't you? Even if Jimin is your soulmate, there's nothing keeping him with you, is there?" His words strike a nerve, my heart dropping. "You're afraid that as soon as you come to rely on him, he'll leave. But that's not all is it? Not only are you afraid that he'll leave, you're afraid that he'll stay."
"You-You have no idea what you're talking about," I stammer out, voice shaking.
"Oh I think I do," he says, confident. "You're afraid that Jimin will stay, but he won't stay because he loves you. You're afraid he'll stay because he knows that you need him, that he'll stay because he'll pity you. And you'd rather be alone than force someone to be with you out of pity," he concludes, the room going silent as I let his words sink in.
"I don't like Park Jimin," I say, still trying to fight him on the subject.
A clattering by the door gets our attention, all our heads turning in that direction.
"What was that?" Jin asks, startled.
"Probably just someone walking in the hallway," Namjoon assures him, patting his arm.
"As I was saying," I start, once again claiming their attention. "I don't have a crush on Jimin." They look at me, skepticism written all over their face. "He's just someone that I stare at.. And like… And when he's not here, it ruins my day."
They stare at me, their eyes wide in disbelief.
"What?"
They look at one another, slowly turning back to face me as Namjoon speaks. "Sorry, Sorry. We just can't believe that you're this stupid."
"Excuse me?" I say, offended.
"Think about what you just said, Yoongi. Go ahead, we'll wait." He crosses his arms, leaning into Jin's side.
I run through my words, trying to see the problem they were talking about.
'I don't have a crush on Jimin.'
Nope, no problem there.
'He's just someone that I stare at…'
I mean that is true, so…
'And like…'
Wait…
'And when he's not here, it ruins my day.'
My eyes go wide, my mouth dropping a bit. Namjoon and Jin snicker as understanding dawns on me.
"Aw, fuck."
"Get it now?" Namjoon asks, his voice hopeful.
"I have a crush on him, don't I?"
"Ding, Ding! We have a winner!" Jin sings, teasing me.
I look between my friends, anxiety growing in the pit of my stomach. "So what do I do now?" I ask, unsure of myself.
Namjoon smiles and stands, grabbing my hand. "Don't you already know?" he asks, pulling me to my feet. Placing his hand on my shoulder, he turns me towards the door. He gives me a soft push, sending me on my way. "You go get your man!"
