Chapter 13- Religion


"Kurt, how can you not believe in God?" Mercedes muttered, thinking it was just one big joke.

Kurt sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day. His father was lying, broken, in a hospital bed and he was being questioned about his lack of faith? That did not sit well with Kurt.

"Mercedes, you've stated your opinion and I'm stating mine. There's no difference." Kurt slammed his locker and turned into the choir room where everybody else was assembled. The usual sympathetic glances met him and a slightly irritated one from Finn. Kurt sighed yet again, not being able to deal with it. He was reaching the end of his tether and more judgement from Mercedes wasn't going to help much.

"The difference is that you're dismissing something out of hand when you haven't really thought about it," Mercedes argued. Kurt knew that she had reached a line. He really didn't like being told about himself, especially about something which was completely wrong. There was a time when Kurt had believed in God, but he simply didn't anymore. It was that plan.

"What's going on?" Tina asked inquisitively.

Kurt cut Mercedes off so the explanation was not as biased as he knew it was going to be. "Mercedes is displeased with me that I'm an Atheist and she is attempting to tell me that I'm not opening my eyes wide enough to see the supposed truth of God. I stated my opinion."

"You don't believe in God, Kurt?" Artie asked, confused. He always thought Kurt was religious. He used his name in vain a lot.

Kurt shook his head silently. Some whispers and gasps spread around the room and Kurt had finally had enough. As Mr. Schuester walked into the room, full of forced pep, he finally stood up.

"Mr. Schue, before you begin the lesson, I would just like to quickly address a hot-button issue in the room. And, no, Santana, it's not my sexuality." Santana just grinned, remembering their conversation back in sophomore year.

"Fine with me, Kurt," Mr Schuester allowed, not really understanding where Kurt was going with this.

Kurt jutted his hip out and placed a hand on it. Sighing, he began his spiel. "First of all, my father's condition has worsened since last night, but only marginally. I appreciate all of your concerns in this situation." The Glee Club smiled widely, so far so good.

"But I would just like to state that I do not appreciate you all insisting that you pray for him in your respective religions. I think that your musical marks of respect have been beautiful, but I resent the use of religion to show it. I know that might seem selfish of me and you're all entitled to your own religion. I'm not disputing that at all. I just don't want to have to sit and watch you all pray and perform various religious services towards my father's comatose state of being.

"Let me explain something before I get interrogated. I used to believe in wholeheartedly in God. I used to attend Church every Sunday with my mother and she would sometimes read Biblical passages to me whenever there was something I needed to learn. I learned about the religious aspects of holidays such as Christmas and I liked that there was somebody watching over me. My mother used to say that God controlled everything and the God personified everything. Such ideas of pantheism were things that I agreed with her about.

"And then she passed away. There was no cause. She died in her sleep. She was fully healthy and there was no post-mortem diagnosis. It bemused the doctors and pathologists as well as my father and I. So then I simply stopped believing in God."

"You just stopped?" Mercedes said, the judgement emanating from her voice. Kurt had definitely decreased in her opinion, he was sure.

"Yes, Mercedes. I stopped. Because I couldn't believe that a being so potent and ameliorated would ever let something like this happen to my mother. She was a wonderful woman and she rarely put a toe out of line. She saved herself for marriage and she only birthed me after she had wed my father. Her religion was everything to her. So, how could God have taken her from me? From the world? People at the funeral said that my mother was "one of God's most important angels and he needed her by his side" and as soon as I heard that, I knew. I knew that it was all just speculation. I was aware of the ambiguity of it all, but my beliefs had come first.

"Now, I'm fairly certain that no God is watching over us. God wouldn't let my mother die. He wouldn't create human nature that is so judgemental and cruel to others. He wouldn't do any of these things to anybody. Surely he would make the world a nice place to live in harmony with everything. I also realised that religion was one of the focal points to many catastrophes such as the Holocaust and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Genocide affects so many people. Finn's father was killed in Iraq. My father's cousin was murdered in a religiously motivated massacre in Iowa a few years back.

"How can I choose to believe in something so devastating and as equally confusing as other beliefs. I put my trust in what I can see and touch and hear. Science."

Mercedes scoffed. Wrong move.

"Mercedes Jones, I am this close to throwing a sharp object at your head. How dare you mock my beliefs or lack thereof when I have just so clearly explained everything to you? Isn't religion about accepting everyone? I'm sure even your God would accept non-believers. After all, didn't he advocate free will or something and that's why he doesn't end war or famine? Yep, I'm pretty sure that's the most common story. And while I don't believe it anymore, I respect that others do. Quinn, Tina, Artie, Brittany, you all believe. I envy that you can put your faith into God so strongly. Especially you, Quinn. But I never begrudge anyone the right to believe and you, Mercedes, are doing just that. As did you, Finn, earlier in the week."

Rachel punched his arm lightly.

"All melodrama aside, I refuse to be subjected to such judgement concerning this. If you all can't sort out your differences with my Atheism which, for your information, Mercedes, is also shared by Santana, I refuse to take part in Glee Club until my father wakes up. This is my ultimatum. Open your minds or I voluntarily suspend myself from the group pending further notice. What's is going to be?" Mercedes just shook her head. Kurt raised an eyebrow and turned on his heel, ignoring Mr. Schuester's pleads for him to stay. Silently, Santana leapt onto the floor and followed him, showing him the support that he had wished for since that week had begun.


Author's Note: It's literally so hot here right now and it's hard to think sometimes. I hope this isn't too awful for you all! More updates soon! Love you guys and thank you all for the support! xx