Chapter 23- Lonely Hearts Will Murder You
Santana drummed her fingers against the table, waiting for what would probably be the greatest show of her life. She would provide back up if needed but somehow she didn't think it was necessary. Kurt had this under control. He certainly had enough material to cover.
"Blaine!"
Santana smirked. Oh, it was so on.
"Hey, Kurt!" Blaine grinned. "Great idea choosing to perform here!"
"Yes, it was," Kurt snapped, "precisely that. My idea. I asked Wes about song selection and he said that I was obligated to choose it considering it was not a competition and I and I alone was organising it. Then I'm commending ten minutes before the start of the set about my decision to let you sing Silly Love Songs. And, funnily enough, Blaine that was news to me! I had no idea you were singing that. So this led to me to my only logical conclusion."
Santana held her breath as she saw everybody staring. The Warblers, The New Directions and the patrons of Breadstix
"You were so unbelievably arrogant and self-assured that you went behind my back and lied to the Council and led them to believe that I had chosen you as the soloist for the non-competition numbers as well! I had already prepared a number that didn't actually include the Warblers. Santana and Mercedes were going to provide backup. But then I find out that you've shoehorned yourself into the position as default soloist and it makes me laugh a lot, Blaine.
"I understand that show choirs work well with a lead soloist, just look at Vocal Adrenaline, they win a lot of competitions with one singer. But the Warblers aren't soulless automatons. We have soul and heart. For you to assume that you're the most talented singer in each song makes you a fool. I know very well that if Jeff and Nick were to duet on that song, it would've been miles better. Your hubris is shocking, Blaine, and singing on every song makes you bland."
Blaine gaped at Kurt's spiel. "Kurt, you're being very rude."
Santana coughed. "Listen up, bitch boy. Princess Peach over here has just spilled the truth all over this restaurant and if you're too closed-minded to see it, well then that's on you. While he's at it, I'd like to focus on your abhorrent eyebrows."
Blaine slapped a hand over his eyebrows. Kurt chuckled.
"Well pointed out, Santana, but there's a time and a place for everything. Like just before Regionals to destroy his confidence."
Wes gasped dramatically and Blaine looked aghast.
"You wouldn't do that, Kurt!"
Kurt smirked. "Watch me. Just because I technically won't be allowed in the dressing room doesn't mean that I can't get in there."
Blaine frowned.
"Oh yeah, I am no longer a Warbler. Thad was going to tell you all during the next rehearsal but I think it's more couth if I do myself. As of next Monday, I'll be a McKinley student again. Karofsky has been neutralised by a determined Sue Sylvester and I have more ammo against him that he would like."
"Kurt, this isn't you. You're not this person."
Santana rolled her eyes. "Oh, but he is, you just haven't allowed him to be. Your stupid uniform and obsession with tradition have made my boy dull as fuck. Sorry, Lady, but it's true." She smiled at Kurt who waved her on.
"Hogwarts may not realise this, but McKinley sure does. Kurt Hummel is the most talented person I've ever met. And it's difficult for me to say, because he fucking knows it. But one thing he's not is rude. He's bitchy, sure, but it's epic and there's a difference. Kurt doesn't say things unless they're warranted. He won't insult someone unless they've made the first move. He doesn't speak out unless he feels he needs to. Clearly you've made an epic fuck up and he needs to sweep you under the carpet and forget about you.
"Oh and your rebuttal of his feelings on fucking Valentine's Day was cold, bitch. Not being good at romance? That's bullshit."
"You did serenade someone, Blaine," Thad pointed out.
Kurt smiled. "But it was with a Robin Thicke song. That barely counts. Plus, nobody enjoyed the sex toy reference. Now do all of your Warblers see why I should pick the songs?"
Blaine's eyes darkened as he saw his future spotlight being taken away from him. "Well what would you have done to serenade someone?"
Kurt looked at Santana, unsure and she nodded.
"Well, Blaine, it just so happens that there was someone who I left behind at McKinley who I never really got over. My feelings for you were born out of disillusion and I'm over that already. As soon as I saw you without the rose-tinted glasses, I was done. So there's gesture I need to make and I hope this person accepts it. Santana, let's go."
Kurt cleared the Warblers from the stage and tapped the microphone. "As you probably heard, this song has a dedication, a very special one. But if you all knew who it was, I'm not sure it'd work as well. Plus, the Kurtana motto involves always keeping people guessing. To this person, I'm sorry and I hope you'll consider the possibility of us this Valentine's Day."
I never was the kind of girl,
That's naturally sure when it comes to love, oh no!
I was insecure, insecure.
But when it comes to you and me,
I can't deny this feeling inside, oh no!
I never felt like this before, this before.
No, no, no.
(Ohhhh)
I'm seeing all the signs from above.
(Ohhhh)
I'm gonna be the one that he loves,
I was made for loving him.
The fashion of his love.
Oh yeah!
(Ohhhh)
I'm gonna be his first and last kiss.
(Ohh)
'Cause honey I was born to be his.
I was made for loving him.
The fashion of his love.
You know that I'd never cheat on a man.
'Cause I'm not like that.
I'm physically crafted to be
As fitting as McQueen.
But when it comes to clothing, I'm bad.
I'm fashionably just designed to be rad.
Oh and he's no accessory to me.
No, no, no.
No, I just can't seem to forget you
No I can't for just as long as I met you.
You're my babe, right through.
I was made for you (made for you).
(Ohhhh)
I'm seeing all the signs from above.
(Ohhhh)
I'm gonna be the one that he loves,
I was made for loving him.
The fashion of his love.
Oh yeah!
(Ohhhh)
I'm gonna be his first and last kiss.
(Ohh)
'Cause honey I was born to be his.
I was made for loving him.
The fashion of his love.
They say I need a strong man, not just a friend
But baby, my search is done.
No longer reason to pry or to justify,
How I feel for you, my love.
I'm seeing all the signs from above.
I'm gonna be the one that he loves,
I was made for loving him.
Oh yeaah!
(Ohhhh)
I'm seeing all the signs from above.
(Ohhhh)
I'm gonna be the one that he loves,
I was made for loving him.
The fashion of his love.
Oh yeah!
(Ohhhh)
I'm gonna be his first and last kiss.
(Ohh)
'Cause honey I was born to be his.
I was made for loving him.
The fashion of his love.
(Ohhhh)
I'm gonna be his first and last kiss.
(Ohh)
'Cause honey I was born to be his.
I was made for loving him.
The fashion of his love.
With Santana providing back up, and Brittany and Tina joining in halfway through, the performance was a lot more successful than Blaine's attempt at love. Kurt shrugged at the loud applause; you could never truly go wrong with Lady Gaga.
"Oh and Blaine? That is how you serenade someone."
Blaine's bottom lip quivered and the Warblers filed out, some of them stopping to chat to Kurt and give their surprised farewells, promising that they would let someone else sing at Regionals. Wes, Jeff, Thad, David, Nick and Calvin gave him their numbers and vowed to text him regularly. Kurt smiled as they all left.
As the New Directions assembled around one table, Kurt was being bugged about who the song was about and applauded for his derailment of Blaine.
"Well, I couldn't have done it without my right-hand Latina."
Santana's lips curled. "I'm sure this Latina would enjoy your right hand immensely."
They all laughed (Finn faked vomiting) and Kurt felt a leg rub against his. His eyes flickered over to the other side of the table. He smiled.
"You still sound like Faith Hill."
Author's Note: I hope that the pairing was obvious...to me it was. I suppose I wrote it, but still. The reference wasn't exactly vague.
The song was, obviously, Fashion Of His Love by the incomparable Lady Gaga from her album Born This Way.
