I have been having some problems lately, I may mention it in this story. The guy I really like almost died and I would not have known, and it just really hit me hard. I don't blame him, but we have been pining after each other for 3 years almost 4 now and I thought that I was at least known by his close people. Other than my boy problems I have also been having a lot of problems at my school and family.

For those that are unaware I was diagnosed with DID, a mental disorder that basically translates into having multiple personalities in my head. My brain puts a lot of effort into trying to hold the others back and that makes my brain work slower into understanding things like school. So I am teased for that a lot and there is this girl in my class, who seems nice enough but she can get really condescending about it. She often is like 'Grace how do you not understand this it is so easy, you are literally just going to be labeling a diagram how do you not know how to do it. All you have to do is memorize' it drives me nuts and often throws me into panic attacks. It is hard, and lately I have finding out a lot more things about my DID, such as I don't like being called my birth name but instead my middle name {Grace} or my 'nickname' {Lolo}.

Speaking of Lolo people get mad at me for using it as my nickname. There is a girl in my class who uses the nickname Lolo as well, and she gets on my case because my birth name doesn't have an 'O' in it. My mom doesn't understand why it hurts when she pulls shit about it. To the other girl and her friends she dragged into it Lolo is just a nickname, but to me it is just as important, if not more important, then my birth name. Sorry about this rant but it has been a struggle, and it doesn't help that I got called a monster for being 'transphobic' especially since I wasn't being transphobic. The reason that bugs me is that people with DID are often considered monsters or abominations when we can't even control what we do.

Sorry about the rant, I know some of you may have skipped over it but for those that didn't, thank you really thank you I don't need you guys to send a review or PM asking about it or to send encouragements I just needed to tell people that may understand or know about me having it. I have mentioned it in other fanfics and I wasn't going to in this one but life just got the better of me. I really do apologize for taking so long with this chapter.

Hey again, this is a different note. It has been a full month since I started this author note. I still apologize for taking so long, I have been struggling a lot recently. I stated a project with a lot of other people. And well the people in this project as well as my school life has been causing me to have at least 1 panic attack a week, it isn't all that healthy but by this point I am too deep in both to leave now. I really want the credits from EVIT so that I could have a jump start in college. And I have made friends in the project and I don't know really but I really want to help with it … it's just frustrating and hard right now. I am sorry about just having this author's note but it is really hard right now and this does not want to write, I have no idea how to start and write the next chapter.

Once again I apologize but here y'all go, I know it isn't a chapter but once again I am struggling and just need to take some time to think through my priorities and mental health. I'm sorry for laying down all my struggles on y'all but this is what is happening and this is why it is taking so long.