Hello everyone, and welcome to the 17th (or 15th, since I merged the first four chapters into two) chapter of this shitty fanfiction! I procrastinated really hard to bring you this, so please enjoy.

TheEdgiestOfEdgelords: *breathe in* Boi

Jokes aside, I wanted to represent the Toss skill somehow, and only distant counter came to mind. And most people already have it as their weapon ability so… meh. It's not like I'm gonna get added in heroes anytime soon ;D Also, if steady breath is anything to go by, nobody gives a shit about availability, so...

Read and review, and let me remind you that the Q&A is still open so if you've got any questions for the characters please feel free to ask away! You won't get another chance.

Chapter 17 – Finally a boss-fight and wrapping things up

-the continuity of the plot?)

What? I thought we had left off!

(You can't keep doing this. Now let's stop breaking the 4th wall like Lilina broke the floor.)

Ugh, fine…

So, we're lying down right next to the hole made by a Bolganone, concussed, battered and bruised by a dragon. Next to us is Roy, waiting for us to make any move.

(We're at about 8-10 HP, give or take.)

So any sensible person wouldn't do what I'm thinking of doing. But I'm not a normal person, so I'll throw myself in anyways.

"What the hell, Nick!" Roy shouts at us, being the mother hen he has become for our antics. He launches himself after us down the hole (rolling on the ground to break his momentum unlike me) which I now realized was next to Emmeryn's room. I recognize it from the game, aside from the evident lack of, well, Emmeryn. There's also more chests.

"Come on, I sticked the landing!" I call back. When my common sense kicks back in I'll slap myself for this, I just know it, but until then.

"We need to get you a medic later, but for now sit down." His expression is one of a person who won't take no for an answer. It is unlike me to comply with this kind of requests, but I've already been fucking with him way too much lately, so I decide that it's not that good an idea to antagonize him further.

(A bead of blood decides that moment to trail down the back of our neck.)

Roy produced a Vulnerary from… somewhere. He might have had it on him this whole time, but I really don't pay attention to details. These, unlike the more effective Elixirs, are to be applied to the wounded area to disinfect and make the tissue regenerate faster. They are a mix of herbs infused with some kind of magic that speeds up the recovery rate of the person.

(That's also the reason why they, like most inherently magic items go "bad" when put into the inventory. Books are an exception because they draw on the caster's mana already to cast spells.)

"You actually managed to dent your skull." Roy announces from behind me where he was applying Vulnerary to the back of my head.

"What?!" I shout and reach with a hand to try and touch it, but he swats it away. "Look." He says. And suddenly, I'm not seeing what is in front of me, but from Roy's perspective.

(We're in Royvision!)

Anyways, the dent to my skull is… where is it?. It's pretty much just the back of my head. Sure, my hair is all over the place but I'm in a battle, I don't need to be fashionable. I'm sure that Lissa can fix it, if I wanted to.

Nevertheless, our body felt the need to puke as we're seeing this. We quickly snap back into it.

"Gah! The hell was that?" I quickly get up and step away from the puddle of vomit that is forming in front of us.

Roy, 'for a change', frowns at us. "I didn't think you'd hurl it." As he holds up the concoction. What? "You bastard! No! I'm not taking it!" I back away from him. The asshole shoved herbs down my throat!

(Outsmarted by someone who lived in a medieval era. We've reached a new low.)

I quickly dash into the recently evacuated Exalt's room. I probably should be more concerned about the ongoing battle but what can I do right now? I'm pretty banged up, confused as hell about a lot of things and the others should be nearly done anyways.

And then I see Marth lying on the floor.

"Oh no." I say, all humor draining from my face as Roy also notices my dropping any sort of playful attitude I had.

(Did we get here too late?)

I pick him up, holding him with one hand as I see that his HP have dropped to zero again. Who could be strong enough to defeat him and Severa?

But then I hear… snoring.

"The hell?" I say aloud as I stand up. I quickly walk over to where I hear snoring the loudest (which is still relatively quiet of a sound) to one of the chests. It wasn't even locked.

( 4)

Doo doo doo doo! You have found The Exalt!

I'd be more serious, but I really can't after realizing that someone actually put Emmeryn in a chest. I turn to see relief on Roy's face as well.

"Seriously, but who thought that putting the Exalt in a chest was a good idea? These things aren't made to be able to close themselves from inside." I should know. I tried. He simply shrugged, before turning serious again. "Well then, it's our duty to make sure that the Exalt survives. We cannot leave her here until reinforcements arrive." Roy said, before turning to face the corridor, effectively blocking the entrance. "You should stay there to make sure of the Exalt's condition."

(Which, from Mother Hen to English roughly translates to…)

You stay there while I guard you both because you're in no condition to fight. That's adorable.

Anyways, I do as instructed and grab the Exalt bridal style before propping her against the wall. She's the lightest person I've ever picked up.

(To put it into game terms, she'd be 3 in CON.)

Also, there's none of the usual mana radiations that

And so… we have to wait for reinforcements to show up.

I'm bored.

I'm bored.

I'm bo-wait

"Roy, something just occurred to me." I called to the Einherjar guarding me.

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking"

(A rare occurrence.)

Shut up. Anyways, "Summoning comes so much easier to me than the rest of the spells. That is probably because of either (or both) of two reasons.

The first being that while it's relatively low output, it's constant. I'm fairly sure that the only reason Robin could draw on Einherjars for whole battles was that they were drawing on Grima's mana. That also perfectly fits my needs, since I'm like a low output massive battery, if that makes any sense." He nodded, meaning that he understood what I was talking about.

The second reason, and hear me out on this, is that the mana I use is the Outrealm gate's."

"What"

"Hold on, hear me out on this. Before any of this happened, I was a regular person. By my world's standards, at least. No magic, no fighting skills, no nothing.

Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked." I chuckled to myself. "And here I thought that you could somehow stay serious for more than 5 seconds…" he rolled his eyes at me.

"Anyways, immediately after getting out of the gate, I was already killing zombies like there was no tomorrow. Sure, I had no idea what I was doing, but that only proves my point further. Someone who could barely lift a sword in his old world, suddenly weaving it around like it was no big deal." I got into a contemplative pose, rubbing my chin with my index while my thumb was under it.

"So, something must've happened to me during that time clearly. Now, consider this as well: some "Higher-ups" sent… an Aversa, since there seem to be so many of her, to assassinate me tonight, if her word is anything to go by." He stared at me incredulously. "Yes, I know we SHOULDN'T go by her word, but I'm making a theory." This time it was my turn to roll my eyes at him.

"So, I was a happy accident and NOT meant to get into this world. Still have no idea how it happened, but whatever. That also means that, prior to me becoming a soldier" I grumbled under my breath at remembering it "I was not granted any powers from any sort of deity. Even WITH my promotion, Naga simply gave me shit equipment that broke down after 2 seconds." Somewhere, far away, I could hear a goddess taking offense to that. Whatever. "If we want to be nitpicky and say that I got lucky, consider this. I'll be the first one to say this; I'm not fit. I used to spend most of my time playing videogames and reading fanfiction." Roy gave me a horrified look when I said the second.

"The good kind, you big baby. I don't read smut." He sighed in relief. Seriously, who the hell did he take me for?

"Anyways, before we got derailed I was saying that I was not fit. Still am not, even though two months here helped with my diet. But back when I first arrived, I had no trouble whatsoever marching from night until dawn besides needing some sleep. And that was after a battle and a failed suicide attempt." He winced. Without missing a beat, I continued.

"So, the only thing that would make any sort of sense is that the portal enhanced me by channeling mana into me by using the knife I used as a socket. So, since I use the mana of a portal, it's probably the reason summoning comes that much easier and better to me. Do you know any other person that can summon people that are not just mindless soldiers?" I asked. He grabbed his chin. "Well, there would be her, but I'm not supposed to do spoilers… I'll just say "There is." and leave it at that." He replied, before turning around again to keep guard.

"Nevermind that, Anyways, if the mana is enhancing my physical capabilities and my summoning abilities, let's work with that. I probably should find a way to effectively strain my body so that the physical increment is even better. Maybe I could turn off the mana for a while?" I asked, but started talking too fast for him to answer. "And the second thing, magic… if people can be sealed into cards, then maybe objects as well, and even magic if I just…"

(For the sake of both my sanity and yours, the rest of the dialogue is skipped. We'll now return to your regular programming.)

After exhausting my ideas, I'm still left with a whole lot of nothing aside from stare at the cute face of the Exalt and wait.

(Fun fact, about 2-3 years ago, when he was still on earth playing FE:Awakening Nick had a crush on Emmeryn. He has simply decided to put that aside because he knows she has to die to see a happy ending, and even if she didn't, she's probably in love with Frederick.)

I'm still not feeling her mana for some reason.

Roy probably also won't let me leave this room until, as he said, reinforcements arrive.

I wonder what the others are up to…


Robin had a lot of questions in his mind as he dodged a barrage of darkness shots. Just to list a few:

'Who is this guy?'

'Why is he attacking us?'

'What does he want?'

'Why does he know me?'

And, to top them all off: 'Why the hell does he seem so familiar?'

The answer to the last one seemed rather obvious, in hindsight. He talked as if he knew him so it was obvious that he was going to be familiar. Validar was probably a part of his past, if all the hints that he had given were anything to go by. However, as they say, hindsight is 20/20 and Robin couldn't focus on that right now, not when they were being brought to their knees and needed their tactician.

The taguel charged, trying to take a swipe at him with her claws and even seemed like she was about to hit him, but then he teleported slightly to the side and blasted her into the wall.

She began breathing labouredly, but quickly got up anyway. With all her might she charged at him to try the same thing again, but at the last moment she made a feint to bait his dodge, and slammed herself into him, using the occasion to claw at his face. He screamed, and teleported away once again to the middle of the room. She untransformed, finally revealing her "human" form as she smirked at him.

That proved to be a wrong move, because in the blink of an eye, the dark mage was holding her up by the neck with his hand while a Nosferatu was draining her.

"Tch, you got to take better care of your dog Robin. You never know when it can bite someone." And with that, he tossed her straight into him, who luckily managed to catch her. He laid down her unconscious, but still breathing body out of harm's way.

He turned around to see a scene that frankly would've been comic if the situation wasn't so tragic.

Validar would teleport around the hallway, dodging Chrom's attempts at slashing him down and firing spheres of darkness at him and the new arrival. He actually was left mostly untouched, save for a blast that was not meant for him but ended up leaving a weird corrosive stain on his coat. He tried to return in kind, firing lightning bolts, but they seemed to have no effect on the dark mage. If only he could provide a distraction...

"Milord, help has arrived!" shouted Frederick from the hallway, gripping his Silver Lance. He quickly charged at Validar on his horse, being slightly too fast (or maybe his opponent slightly too surprised) to dodge his charge. He screamed again, teleporting away for the umpteenth time. He fired a bolt of lightning where he thought it would land, and to his surprise, it worked. The dark mage screamed again, a pool of blood under his feet. He charged up a magic spell and shot it towards Chrom, shouting "DIE!"

The world seemed to move in slow motion in his eyes. He could see it all, Chrom's surprised expression, Frederick's anger, the blast of dark magic slowly moving towards him. But he was entirely too slow to save Chrom. But Frederick…

Frederick tossed himself in the way of the blast, much to everyone's surprise. His horse and him taking the brunt of the attack, they were slammed into Chrom, who stared at them in surprise.

If only he could do anything to stop this madman…

Hold on a second…

"Validar?" he asked, unsure. The guy seemed to know him, and he remembered his name. Maybe he could try to distract him while Chrom snuck up on him.

"Robin?" Chrom turned towards him from the other side of the room. Robin made a cutting motion with his hand. The dark mage's face turned from angry to triumphant. "Excellent, yes! Perhaps not all hope is as lost as I had thought… very well child, I shall let you live for now. But after showing up here, the atmosphere started to feel a bit dead… we can't have that now, can we?" He asked rhetorically. Suddenly though, he was cut into two by a very angry Chrom, who severed the dark mage's legs away. Another scream, followed by coughing. "I see… but you'll see, that you cannot change your fate… with my last breath… die…" and suddenly, he fired a spell into the air. They all braced for impact, but it never came. Instead, a piercing scream erupted from a multitude of voices.

Robin opened his map, which unfolded revealing the layout of the floor they were in. Suddenly, all of the previously dead castle staff were being shown once again, but as red units. He zoomed in on one to see what was that about, and flinched when he realized what had happened to them. Panicking, he rushed at Frederick's side.

"Frederick! How far are the rest of the shepherds?!" The great knight was conscious, but bleeding very heavily and Robin realized he was missing a leg. There was also nothing that could be done about his horse.

He quickly got down to give him first aid, while the knight talked. "They're… not far. Milady and the others are slightly behind… I rushed in… hoping I could help more… heh…" The knight passed out. He wasn't dead, thankfully he managed to stop the bleeding, but he looked up at Chrom shaking his head. Frederick's career as a Shepherd was over. He got up, looking at the map.

"We gotta barricade this room. A lot of angry Risen are coming towards us, albeit slowly." He turned towards Chrom, ready to have his plan contested for a reason or another, but he was simply staring at his life-long friend. Turning towards the taguel, she was also unconscious, but her wounds were lighter and she had already stopped bleeding. She'd be fine. He shook his head; he was alone in this.

Looking back at the map, he saw that the huge amount of Risen weren't actually heading their way. Rather, towards three other dots who seemed to be hiding in one of the storage rooms. Zooming in, he realized those were Nick, Roy, and the Exalt. Thank goodness, not everything went wrong tonight.

"Chrom, you need to snap out of it, your sister's in danger!" He shook his friend, and that seemed to make him remember himself.

"Emm? Right! Where is she!" He shouted, a bit too energetically. Robin pointed at the map. "She's fine for now, but a large group of Risen are heading her way and there are only two people defending her. We need to lead the rest of the shepherds to their hideout." He nodded. It sounded like an easy enough plan.

In the meantime, though…


Ten minutes of keeping guard to Nick passed before Roy heard a cacophony of screams from the hallways. Turning in horror to his summoner, he saw that he was also on guard, gripping his lance in a white knuckled grip.

"What the hell was that?!" he shouted. Roy didn't know, so he silently shook his head. Luckily, the answer came to them almost immediately.

"Nick, Roy, are you alright?"

"Stop! I already have a voice in my head!" Nick shouted, putting his hands against his ears in an attempt to drown out the voice that they were hearing.

"What? No, it's me, Robin."

He looked visibly relieved to hear that, and said "Ah. Robin. Do you know what that scream was? Scared me shitless."

"Unfortunately, yes. A massive group of Risen are between us and you. You have to run."

"When we say massive, you mean…?" Roy inquired. They were still Risen after all, they shouldn't be that hard to fight off.

"Around fifty, maybe more." Roy paled at that. Running sounded a much better idea now. "Actually, how is Emmeryn? I'm not hearing her voice. Is she alright?"

"KO. She wore herself out by summoning one of my cards. What should we do?" Nick asked.

"Hmm…" Robin seemed to think about it for a bit before replying. Roy, however, was faster than him. "Get out of here. I'll distract them." He said in a no-nonsense tone. Nick opened his mouth to retort, but seeing the glare that the redhead was sending him made him close it, before replying "Fine." He picked her up slinging her over his shoulder while glaring at him angrily. "Hold them off as long as you can, then dismiss yourself." His gaze softened a bit. "Even if you don't permanently die, it doesn't mean it's a good idea, alright? Plus, I need you to talk to Lilina so that she doesn't try and murder me later." And with a sprint, he was out of the room.

Roy exited as well, finding a small army chasing Nick. Well, chasing at what little speed zombies could move at anyways. He put himself in their path, knowing full well that it was a battle he was not going to win.

"*sigh* No rest for the weary I guess. Come at me, then!" He shouted at the small army in front of him. In response, said army started hobbling faster towards him. Mages readied spells, archers nocked their arrows and the frontline charged at him. He tossed one last look behind himself seeing Nick duck down a corner with the Exalt in his arms and sighed. "I may not be as good as my father" he began, turning back towards the zombies "But I'm not to be underestimated either!" he charged into the middle of the pack of Risen.

Five zombies down and approximately thirty seconds later, Roy faded away in a golden light, a card clattering to the ground. Under normal circumstances, this would've not been a problem. However, one of the Risen, who had a blue aura around itself, bent down to pick the card up. Its actual mission completed, he faded into the ground, reappearing in front of a scantily clad woman.

"Thank you darling. Please, feel free to go back to the afterlife now." And without so much as a second look, a wind blade cut in two the undead.

"Thank… you…" were its last words before it, like the usual Risen, was absorbed into the ground, leaving behind just a golden card.

"Aww, are you lost?" She asked the card, holding it between her index and middle finger. "For now, let's head home. Nobody bothered coming back to get you, I might as well hold onto you. As they say, finders keepers!" And she vanished into the night, smirking evilly.

I stopped in my tracks for a moment as I felt the sensation of Roy fading away, cursing under my breath about his stubbornness.

(Congratulations, you have obtained the achievement: Master Hypocrite!)

Whatever. Now… what? I'm just running through hallways and whoa that's Gaius hi. Is he recruited yet?

(Jagen, fetch me the blue paint.)

"We gotta run!" I shout at him, grabbing his attention. However, something clearly must've gone wrong in communication because he now took out his sword and is pointing it menacingly at me.

"Sorry kid, but we've got a change of plans. The exalt has to live." And in a blur of motion, he slammed against me making me drop Emmeryn before cutting deep across my chest.

(Did he just assume our gen- side?)

"Nggh! Wait!" I screamed in a panic, hoping he would stop. "I'm one of the Ylisseans, you idiot!" I turned towards the zombies chasing me. "Shit, we have to-" I'm cut off as an arrow buries itself in my back, making me fall on my knees. "Take the Exalt… and run…" I gasp out to an horrified Gaius who probably just realized that he dun goofed. However, he nodded and bolted while carrying the Exalt bridal style. Soon, I can no longer see him as he dashes through the hallways.

(What about us?)

We're pretty much dead. At least we didn't fuck up canon too much, assuming the rest of the mission went smooth. And… death was my main goal, after all. Now… I'll just lay down… and take a nap. I'll probably just pass out, like usual and… then…

(Nick, don't you dare give up on me now. We're not protagonists, goddamnit! Plot armor doesn't affect us!)

Heh, you're right… I need to get up now…

Struggling to my feet, I summon back Uruz to use as a walking stick. The zombies draw nearer.

I need to leave…

Miracle

Another arrow buries itself in my right arm, rendering it useless. Algiz clatters to the ground uselessly, my defense stripped away from me.

Miracle

Thunder tears through my body, nearly making me stumble. They managed to damage me with it? I'm impressed. Black

Miracle

An axe's blunt side hits me in the leg, luckily not burying itself. However, it has the probably intended effect of making my leg buckle under me, making me fall to the floor. Hey, voice, I'm glowing! So cool… maybe I'm evolving?

(…Law.)

Not funny right now. I mean, the zombies are probably about to r**e me, but it's not the case to make a Law & Order – Special Victims Unit joke right now.

(No, not that. Call me Law. It's short for Lawrence.)

Ah. My other name. It's fitting, I suppose. Why now, though?

(*shrug* It just felt fitting for you to know my name, at least in your last moments.)

Heh. Okay… sure…

The zombies have finally made it to us. I'm still clutching Uruz like my life depends on it, and I suppose in a way it does. It's my last way of fighting. The last stand, I suppose, even though I cannot right now.

The one leading the charge is raising his axe, ready to separate my head from the rest of my body. It's raising it. And then…

The

Zombie

Brought

The

Axe

Down

On

Me.

A blinding light and I was whisked away from that fate. Who I assume to be Lissa (I'm not really sure right now) working hard on my body to remove arrowheads and heal me. Suddenly, a bottle of something vile was shoved in my mouth. It ran down my throat, feeling too weak to even bother removing it, before I started coughing out. I focused on my breathing, trying to even them out as somebody roughly clapped on my back to help me not choke after deepthroating an Elixir.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Robin smiled down at me. I looked around and noticed that the fighting was already over, the Shepherds having cleared all of the previous castle staff turned zombies and were now either getting fixed up or chatting between themselves.

I stared at Lissa who was smiling at me, her blonde hair making me get the feeling of having forgotten something. Soon, it came to me what it was.

"Emmeryn!" I shouted in a panic, startling the both of them. "Where is she?!" They both realized that the exalt was nowhere to be seen before a voice shouted from down the hallways.

"Oi, looking for this?" Gaius called, appearing seemingly out of thin air with the Exalt in his arms.

(I'm getting Eliwood vibes from this one.)

Ah, Law, you're back. We've really made it, eh?

(Yeah. Don't worry, there'll be plenty occasions to die like a hero in the future.)

For once, I wish you were joking. I turned my focus back to the real world, seeing Gaius look slightly lost with the Exalt in his arms.

I quickly flashed him a thumbs up as the rest of the Shepherds who weren't being healed crowded around him. I let myself fall back to the ground with a laugh.

"We've won. We've actually won." At the time, I didn't know how wrong I was.

But I was soon in for a reality check.

That's it for this chapter. This is where things really start derailing from Canon. So buckle up kiddies, we're in for a fuuuuuuuuuuuuun ride :D. Below are the end of chapter stat updates and an omake, because why not.

Nick

Otherwordly Soldier

Lv 14 Exp 00

Class: Soldier

Hp: 1/28 65%

Str: 14 50%

Mag:14 55%

Skl: 15 60%

Spd: 18 60%

Lck: 9 45%

Def: 9 (+5) 30%

Res: 20 (+5) 65%

Skills:

-Riposte

-Toss

Items:

Uruz Mt 19 Hit 80 Rng 1 Crit 5% Skill Miracle+

Algiz Mt 8 Hit 65 Rng 1-2 Crit 0% +5 Def +5 Res when unequipped

Supports:

Miriel: B

Kellam: C

Marth: C

Roy: B

Ricken: C

Sully (Heya Kidemonas): C

Marth

Altean Prince

Did literally nothing

Roy

Young Lion

Lv 14 Exp 19

Class: Mercenary

Hp: 32 85%

Str: 15 55%

Mag:2 35%

Skl: 16 70%

Spd: 15 55%

Lck: 8 55%

Def: 9(+2) 40%

Res: 9 25%

Skills:

-Dual Strike+

-Aegis

-Patience

Inventory:

Roy's Blade: Mt 10 29/40 Hit 90% Bonus +2 to Defense

Vulnerary 3/3

Supports:

Nick: B

Lilina: S

Lilina

Delightful Noble

Lv 12 Exp 00

Hp: 29

Str: 8

Mag: 17 (+2)

Skl: 8

Spd: 12

Lck: 11

Def: 4

Res: 11

Lilina got RNG screwed in everything but magic :D

Skills:

Magic+2

Absolute focus

Inventory

Bolganone

Elwind

Supports:

Roy: S

Omake: I'm a green unit! (Please, if you don't understand go look for the video "I'm a green unit" on youtube.)

"Nick, Roy, are you alright?"

"Stop! I already have a voice in my head!" Nick shouted, putting his hands against his ears in an attempt to drown out the voice that they were hearing.

"What? No, it's me, Robin."

He looked visibly relieved to hear that, and said "Ah. Robin. Do you know what that scream was? Scared me shitless."

"Unfortunately, yes. A massive group of Risen are between us and you. You have to run."

"When we say massive, you mean…?" Roy inquired. They were still Risen after all, they shouldn't be that hard to fight off.

"Around fifty, maybe more." Roy paled at that. Running sounded a much better idea now. "Actually, how is Emmeryn? I'm not hearing her voice. Is she alright?"

"She's KO, tired herself out by summoning Marth. What should we do now?"

"Well, uhm… I don't know."

"You, Robin, tactical mastermind, second leader of the shepherds… do not know what we should do."

"Well, it's not like I can order you around. Do whatever you want."

"You're supposed to give us orders, for fucks sake Robin!" Nick shouted in anger.

"Nope, on my map you're represented as green dots, so I can't give you orders."

"Well, get to thi- hold on what?"

"As I said, you're green dots."

"No… It can't be…" Nick trembled in horror. "Up until now… We've been green units?!"

"Yes?"

"Welp. I'm off to do stupid shit now like charge at the zombies. Come, Roy."

"Wait, what are you doing?!"

Nick turned towards where he assumed a hidden camera was hiding before making a goofy face and in his best imitation of Mangs shouted "I'm a green unit!"

And then he went and charged the enemy, getting mowed by the zombie mob in 3 seconds flat.