...So, um... it's been a couple months... oops? My only excuse is that real life happened. It happened very suddenly, very chaotically, and in such a way that it took up pretty much all of my free time. Sorry! Also, apologies for the long author's note. It's even longer than usual this time. :P
HUGE THANKS to grandshadowseal, ultima-owner, SkyTheShadowWolf, FakeNamelol, Rhylt Zheirt (twice! :D), squidnee, review, and werehogdog for reviewing!
To grandshadowseal: Yeah, that dungeon is hard! Really fun, but hard. As for the boys' mothers... they're not in the picture anymore, let's just say that. In the interests of keeping this story appropriate for younger readers, I won't go into why. Basically, the mothers just won't come into play. Probably at all.
To SkyTheShadowWolf: :D Really? I'm so flattered! People are actually recommending this story to each other?! Amazing! You are all so awesome!
To Rhylt Zheirt: Wow, I love long reviews! Yeah, I agree with how they didn't really have personalities in the beginning. The fun thing about this story is that I actually started it when I was first getting into writing a couple years ago. I've only gotten better since then, which is why there's such a huge quality difference between the early chapters and the more recent ones. I'll try to bring Midna in a little more, but to be honest, the story isn't really about her. I realize that I've unintentionally sidelined her a bit because, as she is now with most of her powers locked, she's kind of overshadowed by the others. I'll try to rectify that more in the future! And don't worry, nobody's going to die against Argorok. Glad you like the story!
To squidnee: Yay, you read this! Sorry it took me so long to update; real life happened and it was mean. Glad you're enjoying it!
To review: I'll try to take your points into account. They're all very good, and I agree with all of them! Also, because you asked for it, there are actually two omakes at the end of this chapter! One of them I started with the intent to make them argue as requested, but then I looked back and realized that... I hadn't really succeeded. But I didn't want to scrap it, so I just left it and wrote a second one which fit the request better. Enjoy!
All of you left such amazingly wonderful reviews last chapter! And we got to exactly a hundred, too! :D I swear, I couldn't stop grinning for ages after I read them. As an apology for taking so long (and for making this pretty much a filler chapter), it's a couple thousand words longer than usual and with two omakes at the end! Enjoy, and please feel free to let me know what you thought!
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this! The fic now has a tumblr, with the url honoramongthievesfic! I'll be posting links to each chapter along with random drabbles in the Honor Among Thieves universe, so if you'd like you can go check it out! (Honestly, I just wanted an excuse to use that cool theme :P.) Anyways, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda, etc etc etc.
"I feel like this is something I really don't want to know about, but at the same time, I'm morbidly curious," Dark commented as he poked his head into the main laboratory. "Should I ask about the potted baba serpent in the corner, either, or is this one of those things I'm supposed to pretend I didn't see?"
"Mm, do whatever, just go away," Vaati replied absently as he flapped his hand in a vague shooing motion. I elected not to tell him that he was shooing away the wall. "Now. What were you saying about those binding spells, Midna?"
"His name is Freddy the Second," I informed Dark as I tossed the baba serpent a live mouse. It promptly swallowed the poor creature whole. "After the one we had to leave behind in the Temple of Time."
Dark blinked. "What, the statue?"
"Yup," I confirmed. "Freddy the Second."
Staring at Freddy with an odd expression on his face, like he wasn't sure what to think, Dark asked, "How did you get it into the pot?"
I grinned at him. "Vaati and Midna, of course. They were doing some tests with how much she can really do with that weird hair-hand thing of hers. Turns out it's actually got enough dexterity to dig up and replant a baba serpent, and if it gets bitten she doesn't even feel it. That was pretty cool to watch."
Freddy lunged at me, jaws snapping as far as his stem would allow. I figured that meant that he was still hungry, so I threw him another mouse.
Dark looked at him with a grimace. "Are you seriously going to keep it? You know it's not really a pet, right?"
"Ah, shush. He's kinda cute, if you squint and look at him sideways. Don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't go the way of our last pet," I confidently assured my brother. "Besides, who'd want to eat a baba serpent, anyway?"
"Someone really, really desperate," Dark informed me in a dry tone. "If you lose a finger to that thing, I will take great pleasure in saying I told you so."
Standing behind Dark, Shaide craned his neck around to peek at the spectacle. "Um," he said, "when Link said you were all crazy, I thought he was kidding."
I snickered. "Ah, nope. Believe me, this is actually among one of the safer things I've pulled. I mean, I'm staying out of range, it's in a large and sturdy pot, there's a steady supply of food… I think Freddy will get used to it eventually."
Shaide couldn't seem to tear his eyes away. "...Safer…?"
"Ah, yeah. I was a crazy kid, lemme tell ya," I laughed. "At least now when I pull stuff, it doesn't end with half the nobles in the kingdom out for blood."
"Most of the time, anyways," Dark added. "I'm pretty sure most of the town still thinks we're evil demons or something."
"Eh," I flapped my hand dismissively, "they've thought that for years. The only difference is that now we're not just demons, we're shapeshifting demons. Even scarier. Even when it's only partially true."
Behind me, Vaati cursed as whatever he was working on fell apart in his hands. "Oh, for Farore's sake, again?!"
Midna clucked her tongue in sympathy. "Ooh, that was too much. This stuff's delicate to work with, pussycat! You have to be patient!"
Vaati froze, slowly turning to glare at Midna. "...Did you just call me a pussycat?" he hissed, imaginary fur bristling.
The imp giggled, flashing a quicksilver grin. "You are, though! So fluffy and cute and aw, look at your little fangs! It's adorable!" she pretended to gush mockingly, then actually reached out to ruffle Vaati's hair.
Dark and I went very, very, still. Oh, this wasn't going to end well. This wasn't going to end well at all.
Vaati glared. "I," he stated, slowly and deliberately, "am not. A pussycat. I am the most feared Wind Mage in all of Hyrule's history, and I am not cute or fluffy or adorable!"
Midna floated a little higher. "Hate to break it to you, but sometimes you are!" she sing-songed gleefully. "C'mon, if you're really such a great mage, then prove it! That spell I just showed you? That's basic knowledge in the magic division of the Twili army! If you can't master that, then what hope do you have for any of the other things I know?" she demanded.
Dark narrowed his eyes, then made a quiet sound of realization. "Shadow," he asked in a hushed whisper, "how long has Vaati been working with Midna?"
I blinked at him. "Uh… I dunno, about a day, I guess?"
"And he's spent all that time working on a single spell. No wonder he's frustrated," Dark said with a nod. "Especially since it's supposedly so basic."
"Vaati's got an ego," I agreed.
Freddy growled, a low rumble that was accompanied by a dangerous wobble of his pot. I silenced him with a sharp bop to the snout. He seemed too stunned to do anything, so I counted it as a win and made a mental note to keep doing that until it stopped working.
Shaide blinked at us, then ducked back as Vaati sent a sudden burst of wind roaring around the room in frustration. Dark and I easily evaded or rode it out, used to this sort of thing. "That's… really, really, dangerous," he commented nervously. He moved out into the hallway, Dark and I following him. I had the foresight to grab Freddy before his pot got tipped over as a localized galestorm shrieked furiously behind us, glass shattering as beakers were knocked off the shelves.
I shrugged. "Eh, it's fine. He's always like that," I explained as I held Freddy's snapping jaws away from my face. "You get used to it after a while. And develop a very good sense for when to duck."
"But what if he loses control and accidentally destroys something important? Or puts somebody in real danger?" Shaide protested. "It doesn't seem like he has a lot of control over his temper…"
"He won't," I assured him. "I know, it doesn't really look like, but Vaati does know when to stop. He just needs to vent, and this is the easiest way to do it. At least he can clean everything up afterwards, and all his really important stuff he doesn't keep out in the open. He's been doing this for as long as I've known him. I mean, at least he's not insane anymore- Goddesses, it was bad back then. I remember he razed an entire farm to the ground once…" I recalled as I set Freddy's pot down in a safe corner. "He's improved a lot, actually."
Dark cast a wary, sidelong glance at the baba serpent before he added, "At any rate, we should probably just leave him alone for a bit. Where are the others?"
"Link's out practicing in what looks like it used to be some sort of training area," Shaide reported, "while the other three are working out how and where they're going to place the anchor runestones for a purification circle. I think they were trying to decide between the palace roof, which is conveniently flat, or that huge rectangular field with the pillars on each corner." He paused, then asked curiously, "What was that, by the way? It doesn't seem to be meant for any particular use…"
I tipped my head back, trying to remember. "Let's see… I think Vaati used it as a place to do field testing whenever he tried new stuff, and the pillars used to have runes that he could use to activate wards to keep things in. The whole thing pretty much turned into a giant box, I think. I remember seeing it from a distance and thinking it looked really weird. The runes are probably all weathered away by now, but that's a good spot. Vaati would throw a fit if you scraped up the roof of his palace anyways, so..." I shrugged and left it at that.
Shaide blinked, then swallowed. "Ah," he responded. "Yes. Noted. The former testing field it is."
I resisted the urge to laugh at him.
"Um," I started, "is it just me, or did Link only have one of those things before?"
"It's not just you," Dark replied, arms crossed and expression curious. "He only had clawshot earlier. Dunno where the other one came from."
Crouched atop a half-collapsed wall, Link looked down at us and grinned. "Hi!" he greeted. "Guys, look at this! I found it while exploring. It's exactly like the other one, so now I can use one with each hand!" His arms waved enthusiastically, clawshots attached to each end.
I blinked. "That's… pretty cool, actually."
Link beamed. "Isn't it? I can do a bunch of cool tricks now. Watch!" He immediately flipped backwards off the wall and extended his arms, shooting out both clawshots at the same time. They embedded themselves in whatever solid surface was nearest stretched taut, leaving Link suspended in the middle like a bead on a string. Then, he let one of them go and swung out, released the second clawshot just in time to twist midair so that he hit the opposite wall feet-first and used it as a springboard to push off and do a flip, landing perfectly on the ground.
"I can do better stuff when there's a ceiling with enough grips," he admitted as he strode over to us. "But that's pretty interesting. It's actually a good way to lure in those flying monsters, the ones that look like lizards, because once once they get going, they usually don't stop. You'd think that they'd turn really well, since they're so narrow and light, but-" he shrugged, a wry smirk tugging at the edges of his lips. "For some reason, they don't."
I snorted. "In general, monsters aren't really that smart. That's what makes them easy to trick. Most of 'em, anyway."
Link shrugged. "Makes sense." He pulled off the clawshots and tucked them into his equipment pouches, accustomed the way they simply fit without any sort of logical explanation. Magic did have many uses, after all. Then he glanced around, slightly puzzled. "Hey, where's Vaati? You three almost always stick together…"
"Midna has him frustrated with some sort of twili magic or whatever," Dark explained with a roll of his eyes. "He'll only come out of his lab once he masters it. He's stubborn like that."
"Sounds like him," Link agreed.
Of course, with perfect timing, Vaati appeared right that moment in a swirl of lavender wind. "Finally!" he snarled, hair just about standing on end with frustration. "That'll show her, the little-"
"I take it you finally mastered the spell," I drawled, raising my voice over the sound of his vehement cursing. "Pride still intact, or do I need to break out the bandages?"
"Oh, shut up," Vaati snapped waspishly. He slashed his hand through the air, magic gouging deep slashes into crumbling stone. Nostrils flared, he took several deep breaths to calm himself before settling. "Now. What's the situation with the purification ritual?"
I hopped up into the air, sitting cross-legged on nothing. "Well, they've decided to start prepping that old testing field up there," I pointed vaguely in that direction, knowing that Vaati would understand what I meant. "It's likely that the runes you had carved into the pillars are worn off by now, but that's probably better so they can start fresh. I think the idea is that we lure Argorok in, trap him, then perform the ritual. I'm not entirely sure of the all the details; I think the Sheikah are still working them out."
Vaati tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowed contemplatively. "That… sounds feasible," he admitted after a moment. "Think they need any help?" He flexed his fingers, violet sparks dancing across his knuckles. I got the feeling he still had some frustration to work out.
Dark laughed. "Y'know, it might be better if you just spar with us or something rather than go terrorize those poor Sheikah," he pointed out. "C'mon, the three of us haven't done this for… kind of a long time, actually. It'll be fun!"
Vaati paused, suspicious. "You're trying to distract me, aren't you," he realized. "Dark…"
My older brother winced. "Well, I was up there earlier, and it turns out that not all the runes you carved in are gone. They were, ah, critiquing your handiwork. Not flatteringly. But hey," he added hastily, "in your defense, you weren't exactly in your right mind. Stands to reason that you wouldn't be at your best. Please don't kill them. We still need them for the purification ritual, remember?"
Vaati clenched his jaw, looking very much like he would have preferred to not need them so they could become bits of splatter against the wall. I inwardly cringed in sympathy. Ouch. This just wasn't his day, was it?
"...Fine," he acquiesced after a moment. "You're right. I do need to let off some steam."
Link prudently took a few steps back. "Um," he spoke up, "I'll guess I'll just, ah, get out of the way, then. Will there be bombs involved?"
"I'm going to be in it. What do you think?" I cackled, more eager than I had anticipated at the thought of a spar. Dark was right; it really had been a while. The Sheikah didn't exactly need our help, nor did they want it, so we hadn't had much to do for the past day or so beyond train and prepare. That got old fairly quickly, to be honest. Which meant that I had a lot of energy to burn.
Link stepped back farther. "Y'know, I'm going to go see if Midna needs any help," he hastily excused before making his escape. "See you guys later!"
Vaati scoffed at his retreating figure. "Coward."
"A smart person with a sense of self-preservation," Dark correctly, humor lurking behind his tone. "At any rate, let me set some rules first. Shadow, no giant bombs and try to keep the destruction to a minimum. Vaati, that goes for you too. Boundaries are anywhere that isn't something important, delicate, or full of innocent living beings. That good?"
I thought it over, then shrugged. "Fair enough."
"Whatever," Vaati agreed with a roll of his eyes. He grinned slightly, a breeze swirling about his ankles. "Let's just get started and see how things go, eh?"
"Alright." Dark crouched slightly and grinned, sharp and full of teeth. I realized suddenly that he was probably as eager for something to do as we were. Perhaps even more so. "Get ready, then. And… go!"
As he spoke, Dark exploded into motion, blade drawn as he dashed towards me. I laughed and flipped back, explosives appearing between my fingers. I had been experimenting with creating different types of bombs lately, mostly out of boredom. Attempting to replicate Link's underwater bombs was largely unsuccessful, but the smoke bombs had been rather promising. More fog and sound than anything else, but I was working on that. For the moment, they did serve rather well as distractions.
"Holy- Farore, that stings!" Dark coughed, eyes watering as he was enveloped in a cloud of grey. I cackled and leapt high, scattering cherry bombs to confuse the senses and get his ears ringing.
Except, I'd focused too much on one of two opponents.
The air itself shrieked and screamed, so sharp it may as well have been made of steel. Magic surged in an invisible wave, palpable and heavy as it crashed down. I broke off my attack and dove, straight into the shadow of a scraggly bush. I didn't hesitate to immediately jump from there to the shade of a small building. Just in time, as Vaati obliterated that bush (along with most of the surrounding area) half a second later.
Descending on me in a whirl of purple cloth and wind, Vaati smirked before turning to where I knew I was hidden. "Hey, Shadow!" he called out, striding forwards. His fingertips began to glow with shimmering light, his hair whipping around his face. "Take a look at one of the tricks I remembered!"
I cursed as glowing balls of light formed at each of his fingertips, flaring bright as he slashed his arm through the air to send them rocketing towards me. Leaping out of the shadows even as the light chased them away, I countered with a handful of cherry bombs as distraction. Vaati flicked his hand, knocking them away towards where Dark was honing in on him from behind. Dark merely phased right through them, however, blade flashing silver in the sun.
Except, that wasn't all the tricks Vaati had up his sleeve, not by a long shot. I barely had time to recognize the look on his face and hightail it in the other direction before he leapt, doing an odd sort of twist and pulled-
Not fast enough, I thought dizzily. The world had suddenly gone sideways as streaks of indigo obscured my vision, slashing right through flesh and slamming me into unforgiving stone. Hard.
"Incredibly powerful Wind Mage. Right," Dark coughed, sprawled out on his back a couple feet away. "Turned an entire town in stone. How could I have forgotten that?" He went incorporeal and let himself fall through the earth, disappearing into whatever was underneath.
I decided to follow suit and rolled over the conveniently nearby edge of the platform, swinging underneath to duck into the shadows that covered its floating foundation. Leaping from shadow to shadow, I slipped into the building itself and emerged in what looked like some sort of deserted hallway. Presumably made exclusively for the Oocca, since it was barely small enough for me to crouch in and certainly not large enough to move comfortably.
"Alright, that was a bad idea," I muttered to myself as I slipped back into a puddle of darkness. "Next time, choose a room I can actually stand up in."
Gliding up the wall and through what seemed to be a crack between stone tiles, I emerged in a more hylian-sized area within minutes. Poking my head out of the shadow just enough see where I was, I promptly yelped and ducked back down as Dark's boot came down on where my face had previously been.
"Ach, missed!" Dark called, grinning widely as he prowled the perimeter of the room. Above us, ancient rock shuddered faintly.
Dark paused, glancing up. His expression suddenly grew contemplative, then sly and confident.
"Hey, Shadow," he said, looking over at me with a glint in his eye, "how about a temporary alliance? I've got a plan that I think might just work…"
It was the largest runic array that I had ever designed, hastily sketched and sloppily thrown together on the spot. Dark and I had tried to make it as symmetrical and even as possible, knowing that magic flowed better when it had straight channels rather than crooked ones. Just like water, magic always took the path of least resistance, and we wanted this to work as smoothly as possible.
"Shadow, go distract Vaati," Dark instructed, carving out the delicate whorls of a particularly tricky rune. "We're almost done; I can do the rest. Make sure he doesn't catch on."
"Got it," I agreed with a nod, rising to my feet. Two steps into the corner and I slid back into the shadow dimension, reality warping around me as I sped upwards to the surface.
Vaati spotted me the moment I appeared, blades of wind taking chunks out of the ground around my feet. "Where were you? Hiding?" he called, cape whipping around him like a banner from castle's turrets. "Can't get away that easily!"
I skipped to the side just in time to avoid a net of crimson, pulsing with magic that dissolved as soon as it hit the ground without me inside. "Nah, just needed a break from seeing your boring, predictable attacks!" I shouted back teasingly, impish and mocking. Rising to his level, I created a bomb in each hand and lobbed them straight at him.
Vaati merely snorted contemptuously, fingertips flicking as he redirected their path to send them right back at me. "Really, Shadow?" he drawled. "You didn't honestly think that would work, did you?"
"Eh, it was worth a shot," I replied with a shrug, dodging the rebounding bombs. They hit the wall with twin explosions behind me, accompanied by a pained creaking of cracking stone. Then I dropped a smoke bomb, whirled around- and dove.
Vaati cackled, twisting down after me. Bolts of magic sizzled past me as I went flying past the palace, down past the City in the Sky, down until I had nearly broken through the cloud cover that hid the City from the ground below. Except I leveled out just before that, hiding myself in a dense bank of white water vapor.
I slowed, finally, slipping on Blue's appearance to camouflage better against the sky. It certainly wasn't ideal, not by any means, but it was better than the black-on-white I'd been wearing earlier. Drifting slightly lower to conceal myself within a particularly large clump of cloud, I glanced towards where Vaati had stopped, hovering just above the cloud cover.
The Wind Mage slowly turned, sharp eyes scanning the area. I readied a handful of explosives, muscles tensed and poised to flee. Really, this was less of a spar and more of a game of cat-and-mouse, with two mice who had bombs and runes and a cat with magic who commanded air itself. However much my ego protested this, I knew that Vaati was stronger than both Dark and I combined. In terms of raw power, he had us completely outclassed.
Battle tactics and trickery, however? Well, that was a whole different story.
By the Goddess, though, I hoped that Dark would hurry up. I could only fly in circles so many times, after all…
Except my thoughts were cut off because then there was lavender, pale and swirling as a hand closed over my wrist and the world went snap with a dizzying whirl, everything distorted like smeared paint before it settled back to normal. I staggered as solid ground appeared beneath my feet, bombs automatically flying from my hands in a wide sweep at no target in particular. Steel flashed, bright in the sun, and I barely had the presence of mind to duck under the lightning-fast stab.
"What the f***?!" I managed once I had gotten my bearings, somehow back on the training grounds that had been hundreds of feet above us last I checked.
Vaati grinned. "Teleportation is a wonderful thing!" he proclaimed with great satisfaction, daggers twirling idly between his fingers.
I cursed. Oh, of course. How had I forgotten about that?
Deciding that explosives would serve little purpose when he could simply deflect them or teleport away, I opted for the greater physical capabilities of my wolf form instead. Darting forwards, I shifted midair to slam full-tilt into Vaati before he could react.
"Ach! So, that's how you wanna play it, huh?" he snarled as he threw me off, but not before I managed to draw blood. It dripped down the back of his hand in a tiny rivulet, merely a surface wound but a wound all the same. He wiped it off on his cloak with a vague expression of distaste before the gem embedded at his collarbone flashed, blurring into the shape of a ferocious panther.
Vaati let out an intimidating roar as he paced back and forth, tail lashing as his unsheathed claws dug into the turf. I snarled back, unfazed, readying myself to dodge when I saw his hind legs tense in preparation for a pouce.
Moments later he leapt, fangs bared and ears flattened back. I leapt up and over as cutting air surrounded his claws, teeth latching on to the end of his tail as it trailed past my muzzle. Because, well, if it was going to be that close, then it was practically an invitation, wasn't it?
Vaati didn't seem to agree as he yowled loud enough to bring every Oocca in the city running, pivoting on his toes as his spine twisted around in that disturbingly boneless manner that all felines seem to have. His claws sunk into my flank, not deep enough to cause serious injury but hard enough to really hurt. It was enough to make me yelp in pain and release his tail, at any rate, which was likely what he was going for.
I spared to moment's thought to wonder what was taking Dark so long before all of a sudden there was a third wolf joining the fray, literally jumping up from through the ground. The eldest of us three became corporeal just long enough to clamp down on the scruff of Vaati's neck, worrying at it like a stray dog at a bone. Vaati surged up in one explosive move to throw him off, though he merely phased right through Dark's insubstantial body.
"Blow a hole!" our older brother barked sharply at me, ducking beneath a vicious swipe. I didn't hesitate to obey and ducked into the shadows, making my way back into the room where we had laid our trap. Then, in strategic load-bearing areas, I placed enough explosives in the cracks to bring down half the ceiling before hightailing it outta there.
Seconds later, the ground went BOOM, our array went rumble-fwoosh and suddenly there was a cage, crude and not entirely stable but it had worked. Honestly, I had half-expected it to be a dud. Lucky us, I supposed.
Unfortunately, however, we had left weak spots in it due to its hasty construction, which meant that Vaati figured out how to blast himself out within ten minutes anyways. Oops.
Well, we tried.
"That… escalated quickly," Link commented, picking his way through the rubble of our battlefield. "You guys okay?"
"We're fine," Dark replied, hiding a wince as he gingerly poked at a nasty gash across his shin. "We've had a lot worse."
"Well, I know that, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't look bad," Link told him dryly as he made his way over to where we were sitting around in a loose circle. "We could hear what you guys were doing from clear across the city. Nearly gave the Sheikah a heart attack until Midna popped over to let them know what you guys were doing."
I chuckled, then cringed as the claw marks across my torso twinged in warning. I could see where they were arranged in a rough semi-circle, just about the size of Vaati's paw. Shallow, yes, but still mildly painful. And in a rather inconvenient location, to boot.
Shaide, apparently the only one of the Sheikah brave enough (or stupid enough) to venture anywhere near us at that point, cautiously emerged from the shadows of a half-demolished wall.
"This is what you guys do when you're bored?" he said incredulously, almost choking the words out in a worryingly strangled tone. "Great Goddesses, what must it be like when you're actively trying to destroy things?"
I looked around the ruins of what had once been a small offshoot from the main city, not untouched by time but surviving in mostly one piece. There were scorch marks just about everywhere, a giant sinkhole in the ground where rubble filled in the former room beneath, and almost none of the ground was level anymore.
"Eh," Vaati shrugged, "we went a little overboard. Things might have gotten a tiny bit out of hand."
I snickered. "Well, that's one way to put it."
Link raised a brow. "The other being, 'you all had too much energy so you spent it all beating each other into the ground'?"
"Pretty much," Dark admitted. "It was fun, though."
"Maybe it was, yeah, but… who's gonna clean it up?" Link pointed out. "I mean, it's not like we can just leave the giant sinkhole there, can we? What if someone falls in and gets hurt?"
Vaati snorted. "Unlikely. There's no one here clumsy enough to do that."
Link pursed his lips. Opened his mouth, then closed it again. At length, he just sighed, shook his head, and threw up his hands in defeat.
"Alright, fine. Whatever. Leave the place looking like a warzone, I don't really care. Just be glad you didn't attract Argorok over here," he sighed. "The Sheikah would've been pissed if he'd interfered before they were done."
I perked up at the reminder, remembering the other Sheikah who were here too. "Oh yeah! How's that going? They almost done?"
"Almost," Link confirmed, eyes flicking back towards the wide field they were presumably still in. "They'll finish sometime tonight, I think is the rough estimate. Then it's just a matter of gathering enough power."
"Which means that we should be good to go within the next couple days," Vaati concluded. "That's good. Gives us some time to patch ourselves up." He shifted slightly, frowning as he fingered his torn and blood-splattered cape. "Ach, this one's a lost cause. Shame. I'm gonna have to replace it again."
Link nodded. "Right." He made as if he was going to leave, but paused just before he had fully turned away. "Um, do you guys want me to grab some medical supplies or something…?"
The three of us exchanged glances. "Yes, please," Dark spoke up after a minute. "That would probably be good."
"Right." Link nodded sharply, turning on his heel to stride purposefully towards the Palace of Winds.
Meanwhile, Shaide let out a sigh, ghosting towards us on silent feet. Magic gathered at his fingertips, a gentle shade of blue glowing faintly.
"I know a couple basic healing spells," he explained as he knelt to hover over Dark, who was the closest. "They'll do as a temporary fix, but careful not to move to much or they'll split right back open." He ran his hands lightly over the gashes, which slowly but surely began to seal themselves up right then and there. Under his breath, probably not meant for us to hear, he muttered, "you're all such idiots. This is your idea of sparring?! Goddesses above, it's a wonder you haven't killed yourselves out of reckless stupidity-"
The three of us couldn't help it. We glanced at each other, not even trying to hold back our grins, and all burst out laughing in unison.
Omake One: Freddy's New Home
"Shadow," Dark sighed, running a hand through his hair in exasperation, "you can't keep the baba serpent."
"His name is Freddy!" I insisted, clutching Freddy's pot protectively to my chest. "C'mon, Dark, it's not like he's gonna hurt anybody! I even put a muzzle on him and everything!"
Dark stared at me for a long moment, eyes flicking between the leather band that kept Freddy's jaws closed and my hopeful expression. Then he sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, and shook his head.
"For the last time," he said forcefully, "you. Can't. Keep. The. Baba. Serpent."
"Why not?" I asked, absentmindedly pushing down one of Freddy's leaves from where it was getting into my face. "He's a baba serpent. He's not clingy like a dog, he's self-sufficient like a cat, and whenever we leave we can just stick him in the ground and leave him there. He's the perfect pet!"
"How is something that is literally fangs on a stalk the perfect pet?!" Dark exclaimed incredulously, throwing up his hands. "It's a monster, and not even a smart or sentient one to boot! It tried to bite your face off!"
"Pssh, details," I airily waved away. "We're past that stage, right Freddy?"
In the background, Shaide looked very hard like he was trying not to laugh.
Vaati, who had been spectating from the sidelines, finally appeared to get sick of the meaningless back-and-forth as he interjected himself into the argument.
"Shadow does have a point," he allowed, "however much of a stretch it may be. What's the harm of just sticking that thing in a corner somewhere and letting it be? I mean, if we plant it in my old garden, which I checked on yesterday and is flourishing…"
Dark blinked. "Well, I guess that would be fine... Wait, you have a garden?"
"Yeah, I was really into experimenting with magical plants and magically-enhanced plants for awhile. Tried out a bit of crossbreeding, too, but that… didn't turn out so well. Over the years, the garden's turned into a bit of a miniature forest, but it's workable," Vaati told him.
I furrowed my brow, thinking back to try and remember any sort of garden that Vaati had cultivated. It came to me in a few seconds, and my eyes widened. "Wait, you mean the garden with the roses that have foot-long thorns? And the flowers that put you to sleep with their pollen? And the giant weeds that wouldn't stop growing so eventually you had to burn them all out from the root? That garden?"
Vaati nodded. "Yes. Is that a problem?"
I grinned widely. "No! Freddy will fit right in there!"
Dark looked at us with a dawning expression of horror. "Wait, what?" he squeaked, though he would later deny making an embarrassing sound of any sort. "Hold on just a minute-"
"Too late, you already said it's fine!" I cheered. "C'mon, Freddy! Let's go check out your new home!"
Omake Two: Cat Burglars
I was fifteen years old (or at least somewhere near there), annoyed at the world, and ready to say "screw everything" and just blast the stupid safe open.
"Vaati," I hissed, "I thought you said the combination was 32-68-12!"
"It is!" he hissed back, eyes narrowed and tone sharp. "I even made him write it down for me! You're looking at that paper yourself!"
"Yeah, well, the paper is wrong!" I snapped. "The combination doesn't work!"
Dark scowled. "Can you go in and grab the thing, then?" he asked with forced calm.
I shook my head. "Nope. Solid steel all the way through, just a tiny gap in the middle for the jewels. I wouldn't be able to fit."
Dark pursed his lips. "Right. And it's too big to carry with us, not to mention way too heavy."
The three of us stood in silence for a moment, attempting to figure out what to do. Then, a thought suddenly hit me, a thought that would explain why everything about this heist had felt so wrong from the moment we accepted it.
"This entire stupid job was probably a setup," I realized. "Oh f***, maybe that's why the combination is wrong! And the complete lack of people, only insanely elaborate traps-"
"S***," we all said in tandem. And, of course, that was right about when the mages started pouring in.
We did escape, if only just. And we certainly screened every job that came our way much more carefully after that.
"I told you something was off about that," I later informed a rather irate Vaati. "I told you."
"Yes, okay, fine! Just shut up about it already!" he snarled back. "And it's not like you actually did anything about it either, so it's not like you have any room to talk!"
"Says the guy who led us into a trap!"
"On a job that Dark accepted!"
"Wait, what? How is this my fault?!"
"Well, if you hadn't said yes-"
"-Then we wouldn't have half this much money-"
"-But we also wouldn't have almost gotten caught-"
"-And we could already be working another job instead of hiding because the most powerful lord in the kingdom is out for our blood-"
"-Which, again, is not my fault because I actually said, multiple times, that something was fishy about the job-"
"-Which doesn't matter, because you still went through with it!"
"So did you! What happened to that 'faultless intuition', huh?"
"Hey-!"
(...As can probably be imagined, the situation only descended into further bickering from there, getting more and more petty with every sharp comment thrown. It was probably our first major fight amongst the three of us, and we didn't quite manage to forgive each other for over a week afterwards.)
(After all, no family is without its faults. Ours was no exception.)
