AN: Happy Thanksgiving to all those that are celebrating. Sorry it's taken a bit longer than expected to get this one out. I have the next chapter almost done, and boy it's a doozy, so I'll try to update that a lot sooner. Lines are starting to get a lot more blurred. Once again thanks for all the great reviews and encouragement.

Side note: How awesome was that firefighter? Can't remember her name but I know her from Awkward. I'm proud of Arizona for putting herself out there, too bad she was taken. They had pretty good chemistry surprisingly so I got my fingers crossed that we'll see her again. And I keep hoping that this whole thing with Jackson and April will have Callie start to rethink pretty much her whole perspective on the split with Arizona. A girl can dream, right?


Arizona carefully set down her glass and looked over.

"I knew I smelled something."

Something being deliciousness, of course she would never divulge that now. Every time Callie was in close proximity, Arizona always knew it before even seeing her. She had a certain scent, and the blonde was never able to figure it out if it was her lotion, shampoo, or perfume. Maybe it was all three. Either way, her ex-wife always smelled exquisite.

After the separation, the scent would pretty much make her burst into tears, knowing that her nose would never be buried in luscious dark hair again, or between the crook of the Latina's neck. She didn't get as sad as she used to.

Callie chuckled nervously, nodding in thanks to Joe, who mysteriously appeared with a dirty martini and two tequila shots. "You're mad, I know."

Arizona shrugged casually, "I'm indifferent."

"You know that's the same thing, right?" she downed both shots.

"Indifferent is indifferent, mad is mad, Calliope," the blonde replied.

Callie froze. She was used to hearing her full name as of lately, her and Penny adopting that as their own little joke to call each other by their full names a lot of the time. But it had been ages since she had heard it come from Arizona's mouth. It was the same name, but just, different coming from her ex-wife. Like a lot of things with Arizona, it was the same, but yet, so not. The Latina turned her chair to face the blonde.

"I owe you an apology…" she trailed, inspecting the other woman's face. Arizona continued to stare ahead at the numerous bottles of liquor behind the bar. She was never really a fan of gin, but that bottle of Bombay sapphire was pretty…but she didn't really want to be sloshed before dinner.

You say sorry just for show.

Arizona snorted, "Are you going to give me one or is this just a heads up?"

The Latina sighed, "It was the wrong choice of words, and since we had a silent agreement to try and be friends, I thought that we could talk…like friends. I don't want you to think that you were my last choice, because you weren't. Out of everyone that night you were the most…nonjudgmental, and I really appreciate that."

So she might have overreacted, she accepted that. But Arizona honestly thought Callie wanted to talk to her. Whether or not it was professional, or concerning Sofia or something else, she thought her ex-wife intentionally chose her to reach out to. To find out that wasn't the case was a little, irritating. Especially since it had been a 911 page. She didn't come first on Callie's list anymore, she knew that, but being reminded of it was just, un yay.

Arizona blanked before chuckling, "That still kind of sounds like I was your last resort."

"Okay seriously I'm trying to apologize here," the other woman whined. "Are you going to accept it or not?"

"Depends, do you actually mean it?"

"I mean this. It wasn't my intention to hurt you like that. Seriously."

Woah.

The blonde smirked, clinking her glass with her new found drinking partner, "Then I forgive you," no use crying over spilt milk, "so, since we're friends, I might find it appropriate to ask…did you talk to Penny yet?"

Callie giggled, "You realize this is extremely adult of us?"

Arizona glared, "It's because we're adults, this," she gestured to the space between them, "is how we're supposed to act apparently…" she trailed, "or so I've been told. And stop trying to change the subject."

"And so you've been told?" the Latina pushed, munching on her olive.

"Focus. Penny." Ugh.

Callie sighed, "No, not yet. She's on call tonight but we're supposed to meet here after she gets out of the OR. I think she's in surgery with Dr. Castro. Sofia at Mer's already?"

"Yeah Amelia picked the kids up. Well they should be done soon then, I'm meeting Natalie here after too before dinner. At least you know she's not being hazed right now," Arizona shrugged.

From what she had gathered, Pretty Perfect Penny had officially begun her unraveling today. Apparently there was nothing pretty or perfect about it. The blonde actually felt bad for the other woman. Which just made her like her more. She scrunched her nose in thought.

"I hope not."

Arizona nudged the other woman, "Shut up, it's Meredith and Amelia you have to worry about."

"I know, and I don't want to seem like I'm defending her because she's my girlfriend, but I can't help it. She deserves her spot; she should be treated just like every other resident in her year."

"She should," the blonde replied simply, "and she will, over time, because Meredith and Amelia are still royally pissed off. But hopefully, they won't be, and maybe we'll get to see what this Dr. Blake is really made of."

Callie groaned, "Please don't tell me you're going to start hazing her too, because if you do-"

"Woah I didn't say that," Arizona interrupted. "Fetal surgery is still very new, what Penny learned so far is just an inkling into what the specialty actually entails. So, if she ends up on my service, I'll be up her ass just like I would with anybody else." She was never opposed to teaching, she loved it. She was all about being supportive and encouraging. But it was known that when somebody screwed up, it was pretty much off with their heads.

Callie tilted her head, taking a sip from her second martini, "Why is it that we keep referencing to our girlfriends' asses?" The two looked off into space for a moment before looking at each other. Arizona broke first and started laughing. The pair continued to smile and chuckle for a moment before a silence descended upon them.

See?! Friendly laughs!

Or awkward ones…

The blonde glanced out the window, noticing a redhead pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. Further back she noticed the silhouette of what looked like Natalie, exiting the sliding doors hastily while checking her phone. Right, their date. She looked somberly to her ex-wife, "Were you happy with Penny…before the other night?" She couldn't stop asking questions she did not want to know the answer to.

Callie sighed, nodding slowly, "Yeah," she chuckled, "yeah I really was." As happy as I've been in a while anyway.

"Then you need to make it work," Arizona stated, dropping a few bills onto the counter and standing up. Callie looked up at her. "If you're happy, if she makes you happy, then you two need to move past this. Don't let one mistake ruin something special."

What exactly was she referencing too? Arizona wasn't quite sure. But all she knew was that she was slightly buzzed and sitting intimately at the bar with her ex-wife, begging her to not make the same mistake twice…or something. She also knew that she needed to get out of there before she never left. That was one thing she always knew…she couldn't ever really leave Callie.

But she needed to this time. Penny and Callie needed to talk, Natalie was waiting. Arizona needed to leave.

The Latina's expression softened, "You think we can work it out?"

Arizona shrugged, "For your sake, I do."

Callie turned her chair around so that her jean clad knee touched the blonde's thigh, "But do you think we can work it out?"

What did she think? Or what did she want to think? Did it matter? Probably not. Penny made her happy, that was supposed to make herself happy for them. The blonde felt her throat close up and her cheeks flush. There was a pressure in her head and eyes. A hand gripped her handbag tightly.

Seems like Pretty Penny wasn't the only one unraveling lately.

Arizona smiled grimly, gritting her teeth, "Yes, I do."

Callie straightened, "Do you?" Was she baiting the blonde? Was she…trying to get a reaction or some sort? Did she want validation that she was doing the right thing? Was it, all three? Either way, it seemed to have an effect. The air was hot, her breath was shallow, and no matter how deep she inhaled, it just wasn't enough.

Callie always believed in the theory that it's hard to look away from a train wreck. There were piles upon piles of train wrecks that she had witnessed in her life, and there wasn't a single one that she couldn't look away from. She knew what was happening, but there wasn't a force in her body or mind that could stop it.

Arizona understood that sentiment as well. And for some unfortunate reason, the shambles of their marriage was something that neither could've seen. That was one disaster. But this right here; the eye contact, the close proximity, the alcohol, the energy…this screamed 'GTFO NOW.' But nevertheless, neither could look away.

The blonde blinked, eyes boring into her soul, "Stop it." Please.

"Stop what?" What, exactly?

"Callie…" Arizona breathed calmly, resting her left hand on the edge of the bar counter. She didn't know what she was doing, or why she leaned in as far as she did. This was the closest she had been to Callie in years. The alcohol burned her stomach, along with that fucking ache in her chest. She swallowed heavily, pursing her lips before opening her mouth again.

Callie leaned forward slightly, her body once again acting on its own accord, her brain screaming at her to do the opposite. Arizona's eyes perused her face for what felt like forever. She tilted her head. Callie closed her eyes, reveling in the blonde's breath washing over the side of her face.

And when Arizona finally spoke, her voice was small, but nevertheless, controlled, "You're not the only one who still hurts."

There was no room to respond, to think, to even breathe. Callie's heart shot through her chest and her panties were painstakingly soaked and by the time she opened her eyes Arizona was already gone.

Band-Aids don't fix bullet holes.

"Callie? Are you okay?"

She blinked, looking in the direction of the voice that invaded her ears. Penny was standing where Arizona had just been with an anxious look on her face. She looked around the bar; a few more people had entered since she did. It didn't even feel like she had been in the same place a second ago. The music had somehow gotten louder, the smell of fried food and faint cigarette smoke taking over her nostrils.

"Calliope?" Penny asked again, resting a hand on the Latina's shoulder.

Callie shook her head, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. How was the surgery?"

Penny sighed, smiling, "It was great. Dr. Castro's amazing; it was definitely the silver lining to my day, that's for sure."

"That's awesome," Callie answered, "I'm glad she was good to you. You want something to drink?" she asked, motioning to Joe.

"Yeah a beer, or twenty, but I'll stick with a Diet Coke," the redhead joked sarcastically, "I don't know if I can do this again tomorrow. Dr. Grey wants me on her service for the rest of the week…And I feel terrible that I'm coming in between your friendships with everybody. I don't know if I can do this." The woman took a sip from her soda and cradled it gently in her hands. Callie scooted closer, rubbing her hand soothingly over the other woman's thigh.

This wasn't the shittiest situation she's ever been in, but it was definitely the shittiest she's had in a while. It didn't help that she called Meredith a bully earlier and stormed out of the bathroom. She had already run out of comforting words. Squinting, she saw the blonde with Castro through the glass, holding hands as the pair made their way to what looked like Natalie's car. The brunette held the door open, the two sharing a sweet kiss, Natalie cradling her face passionately, before Arizona got into the passenger seat.

When Arizona had slept with Lauren, Callie had reacted instantly. She cried and yelled and left, then she drank and yelled and cried some more. She was not short on emotions at the time, that was for sure.

What she would do and how she would react when Arizona moved on had crossed her mind a time or two. Maybe she would binge eat and watch sappy lesbian movies, maybe she would act like she didn't care all the while caring too much. Or maybe she wouldn't feel anything at all.

It definitely wasn't the last one. A numbness came over her, she could feel it travel from the top of her head all the way down to her toes. She could feel her heart pulsate throughout her body, and she couldn't even breathe. It was really over it seemed.

Callie turned her head back to her girlfriend, gripping her shoulder with her other hand, "We'll get through this. You have me. I'm here."

Penny looked at her, unsure.

"I'm here," Callie repeated, "Okay?" Penny nodded, relieved. The brunette pulled her closer, sealing her declaration with a kiss. Penny grabbed her face, deepening the kiss. From the intense response she was getting, Callie guessed that Penny was pretty convinced that the conversation was not going to end up like this. And honestly, she didn't know if it would either.

But Arizona was her past, and Penny was her future.

Penny was her future.

##

"I have to ask; how did you end up living with an intern?"

Arizona chuckled, "He was kind of the only person that wanted to live with me."

After power walking out of Joe's and meeting Natalie across the street, they picked up dinner at a Thai restaurant a block away and brought it back to the blonde's house. The brunette had actually never been inside the humble abode yet. They were filling plates and wine glasses when Natalie had noticed some presence of male company. There was a burly jacket, along with Deluca's pair of boots in the foyer.

"Please," Natalie scoffed, setting napkins down onto the breakfast bar, "who wouldn't want to wake up and see you first thing in the morning?"

"Haven't you heard? I'm immortal," the blonde whispered before taking a sip of her wine. She was still mildly tipsy, but she need this to stay in the present ironically enough. Natalie had asked her more than once if she was okay. Arizona had profusely assured her that she was, but she wasn't. She was not okay. But the other woman didn't need to know that.

"You're going to have to elaborate."

"Well," she started, tearing the wrapper off her chop sticks, "I was looking for a roommate and no one wanted to live with me because I've survived so many ridiculous things in my life that it freaked them out. Deluca was the only one who didn't care. He's not creepy, Sofia likes him, he picks up after himself, and doesn't smell."

"Why did you want a roommate in the first place?"

"I had been doing too many pro bono procedures, it kind of took a hit to my paycheck. But, things have been a lot better. Plus, I didn't really want to live alone."

She really didn't want to live alone. Arizona didn't even want to get a house in the first place; but she wanted to have a yard for Sofia to be able to play in and to possibly make friends with other kids in the neighborhood. So she had gone with the rental with the possibly intent to purchase later. But if she really thought about it, it was all an act. Maybe she just wanted to appear like she was moving on.

"It sounds like you've been getting back on track. You've been pretty busy. You were saying Mount Sinai wants to fly you out for a surgery?" Natalie asked, grabbing a pork wonton.

Arizona nodded, "Yeah, next week. I'll be gone for 2 days, maybe 3. I was going to fly out earlier to prepare but I have so many other surgeries scheduled here, I can't push any of them back either."

"Speaking of," the brunette started, "Shepherd wants me to fly out for the Neuro conference in New York next week, see if I can procure some more funding for the hospital."

The blonde smirked, "Oh what a coincidence." Normally the head of the department would be the one to fly out for things like this, but it seemed that Amelia was playing it smart with this move. Amelia was no amateur, but she knew that Natalie had a lot of more contacts on the East Coast and would be flying back to Seattle with more than enough money for the department.

Natalie met her look, "Yep. Sooo, I was thinking if you had time we could meet up in the city. Like a vacation without it being a vacation since we'll both be working," she played with the other woman's hands, "I know you'll be busy, but if you have time…"

"Yeah," Arizona answered, "If we both have time, I would love that. Or maybe," she thought, "why don't you just stay with me?"

"Stay with you…?"

"Mount Sinai's paying for my first class flight and five-star hotel," she shrugged casually, "you can just stay with me. That way if we are too busy, at least we'll still see each other." It seemed that that hospital's chief of surgery made it a huge point to roll out the red carpet. She had a meeting with him her first and last day there, followed by a dinner with the rest of the heads of department. It didn't take a genius to figure out what they were trying to do.

It happened almost every time Arizona flew out somewhere to lend a hand on a surgery or project. The old her would've jumped at the chance to be at any of the hospitals. Like she told Bailey, it was very enticing. But she found it hard to think clearly about the possibility of working somewhere else. Maybe one day she would make the plunge. Maybe.

Until then she was perfectly fine to be pampered by the most awesome hospitals in the United States, as well as share the hospitality with her…someone.

Natalie tilted her head, "Are you sure?"

Yeah, are you?

Arizona stuck her tongue out at herself. She had to be sure, she offered. Right? "Yeah, of course."

"Okay," the other woman replied, content to leave it at that. "Are you sure you're okay?" she joked, placing the back of her hand on the blonde's forehead.

"Seriously," Arizona laughed, "I'm okay, really. I just thought it would be a good idea. You've been so amazing to me, and I think this would be good for…us."

"I haven't done anything; your worth it, okay?" Natalie asked, raising her wine glass. Arizona grinned and held up her glass as well, an unspoken agreement…of whatever they were, established.

"Okay."

##

"We haven't gone out in a while."

"We're out right now."

Penny rolled her eyes, "I mean like a date, with dinner and wine…and other stuff."

"Well let's change that. I will take you out next week on a proper date to celebrate your first week at Grey Sloan," the brunette stated. The redhead was right; it had been awhile since they had been out together like that. Aside from sitting at Joe's currently, the last time they went out together was the dinner party from hell, and Callie wanted desperately to wipe that experience from both their minds.

The other woman nodded in agreement, "Okay, if I'm still alive by then I would love for you to take me out."

"You'll be fine," Callie assured breezily, bopping her head lightly to Elle King playing on the stereo. The bell above the entrance jingled. Both women turned and saw Alex and Jo enter the bar. Callie waved them over.

"Hey you guys just get out of surgery?" Jo nodded.

"Yeah, I need a drink," Alex answered gruffly. "Can I get two beers and two shots of Jack, Joe?"

"How'd your surgery go?" Jo asked Penny politely.

"Good. How about yours?"

"Good."

"Good."

Ooookay…

Alex rolled his eyes, "Is Robbins still here? I was hoping to catch her before she left." He turned his body, scoping out the bar before looking to Callie.

She shook her head, "No you actually missed her a while ago, she had a date or something I think," shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. "If it's about work you can always call her…?"

He smirked, "No I think I'll leave her alone for the night." Callie glared at Alex, who met her look in challenge. Jo smacked his arm lightly, "Knock it off."

"It can wait anyways," he began, "I had a few questions about her cases I'm watching over while she's away."

"Where's she going?" Penny asked, interested.

"Yeah, where's she going?" the Latina demanded. "Joe can I have another shot of tequila please?"

"New York," Alex answered, "She was asked to join the team for a huge surgery Mount Sinai's doing…as if that'll convince her to take their job offer," he grumbled.

Penny whistled, "Wow they offered her a job?"

Jo snorted, "Yeah them and every other hospital in the country. I heard Bailey practically begged and groveled for Arizona to not even think about leaving."

Say what, now?

"Who'd you hear that from?" Callie asked, throwing back her shot while contemplating another one.

"Everybody knows that, it's not really a secret, as much as Bailey tries to hide it. Where the hell have you been?"

Where have you been?

Callie was about to answer with her own retort when a pager erupted next to her. Penny groaned, checking her bag, "Damn, I have to go check on all the post ops."

"See lookie there now you can go call Arizona," Callie offered to Alex gleefully.

"Not for Castro, for Grey. I'll call you tomorrow," she said, planting a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek before heading back across the street.

Jo sighed, "I feel like I'm about to get paged in a second too so I'm going to go back just in case. I'll see you at home."

"Wow, that's commitment," the Latina chuckled as the resident trudged out the door, her beer and shot untouched.

Alex shrugged, "Her and Stephanie got into it and now Jo thinks she's got to get ahead of her at work." He slid his girlfriend's abandoned drinks closer to him.

"That's part of being a resident, believing that you're the best."

"I don't think that ever goes away."

"It kind of does," Callie replied, throwing back another shot, "because when you're an attending, you ARE the best."

"That I can agree with," he said, knocking his beer with her freshly made martini.

She sighed, turning to face the peds surgeon, "Does Meredith hate my guts? And don't give me the generic answer to give her time." The head of general wasn't necessarily not speaking to her, but she wasn't talking to her either.

"When have I ever given you generic answers?" he asked rhetorically. "She doesn't hate you, she just wants to maybe bitch slap you a couple of times."

Callie shifted straight ahead, "I don't know if that made me feel better."

"You asked," he grumbled. The brunette nodded. Maybe everybody was right. Maybe she just needed to keep her head down and mouth shut and give Mer some more time to cool down. Hopefully she would adapt to Penny being around and it could be like nothing happened even though everything happened.

Yeah, right.

"You think she would leave?" she asked somberly. Now, at the bar with none other than Alex, she could contemplate this information. It was borderline insanity, Arizona wouldn't go to another hospital? Right? She was co-owner of Grey Sloan, Sofia was here, her…friends were here? Callie wasn't familiar with the blonde's current group of friends, if there even was a group. As a matter of fact, she didn't know a lot of things about her ex-wife.

You're not the only one who still hurts.

Yeeaahhh. Except for that. She had confirmation of that fact.

Alex glanced at her, "Do you?"

"I…don't know," she confessed. "I don't know what she would do anymore. I assume she would stay here for Sofia. And Natalie too, I guess." There were two other things she knew. Arizona would never, under any circumstances, abandon Sofia. It didn't matter that they weren't biologically related, Arizona was her mother, too. Sometimes in more ways than Callie was. It used to make her jealous, the bond that Sofia had with the other woman. But after a minute, she found the relationship absolutely beautiful. Callie didn't regret that for a second.

She also knew that Arizona was hands down probably the most outstanding surgeon she had ever worked with or even known. And no, Callie wasn't just saying that because she was married to the woman once. The blonde's mind was just, extraordinary. She thought outside the box and saw things that nobody else did. Her instincts were almost creepy and in her hands, every life had a chance. Every single patient was somebody to her.

"Please, they've been seeing each other for two seconds. And there's always custody arrangements."

"Really?! How could you even say that?" she spat. Just the thought of it made her want to throw up. Her head had become dizzier by the minute and her chest had that familiar burn she just couldn't place.

"Because it's reality, Torres. You need to wake up. If it wasn't for Sofia she would've already bailed a long time ago, and we both know that."

"She just…she can't leave," Callie stated, "She just can't. Do you think she would leave?" she asked again.

"I hope not."

"She owns the hospital, she can't just drop that, you know."

Alex shrugged, "Yang did."

"Well that's not what's going to happen. If she was even considering an offer, she would've told me." Right?

"Maybe, maybe not."

Callie scoffed, "Okay do you want Arizona to leave or something so you can completely take over the department that she built?!"

"Are you serious right now?" At first he thought it was the slight buzz he was experiencing, because there was no way the Latina was accusing him of trying to take anything away from his mentor. It wasn't true, and on top of that, very insulting to the pediatric surgeon.

"It makes sense. If Arizona goes across the country, she'll shell out all the recommendations and praises to her prodigy. There won't be a single family on the West Coast that won't come to you to treat their child."

Alex swung his stool to face her, his face inches away, "You think I want her to leave? She made me, do you understand that? She was one of the only people in my entire life who believed I could amount to anything, let alone a surgeon. She believed in me so much that she intentionally screwed with my fellowship offers and lost her fucking leg because she cared so much."

"Alex…" A definite low blow that she was strongly regretting about…now. Her word vomit wasn't exactly her finest trait. But the thought of now seeing Arizona, not having the blonde in Seattle, made her nervous. Like scared, worried nervous.

"So if she wants to leave, if she wants to be happier than what she is now, then I'll be happy for her. But don't throw accusations at me because if she does decide to leave Seattle, it'll be on you, not me."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you," he answered sarcastically. "You two need to quit screwing with each other. You can't just end your marriage, move on with everyone under the sun and then get mad when she tries to do the same. And she can't keep wallowing alone, feeling sorry for herself, making sad eyes at you when you're not looking, hoping that one day you'll want her back. You wanted to be free and she needs to let you go, so let her."

Callie blinked back her tears, her head in full on migraine mode due to the multiple shoes that dropped on her head the past couple of minutes. She wanted to say that Alex didn't know what he was talking about. But did he? After recent events, it was becoming more and more apparent to Callie that maybe, things weren't as, finished. It wasn't done, and the thought terrified her.

This couldn't be happening. She had walked away from that therapist's office a long time ago. So why did she feel like she was still sitting there? It had been years already, practically a lifetime! These, feelings, don't just crop up over a span of a couple of weeks.

Not if they never left.

Oh what would you know?

Seriously?

She really needed to stop having conversations with herself. And she needed to stop this, whatever it was. Karev was right. Arizona was right. They needed to stop.

"I –" she exhaled shakily, before chuckling bitterly. "I…don't know how to let her go either."

"You haven't even tried," Alex replied, sticking his tab behind the counter and reaching for his jacket.

"Not so freeing, is it?"

No. No it was not.