AN: Holy crap this was a pain to upload lol. For some reason it wouldn't upload on the doc manager from my MacBook so I had to email and access it from my old PC laptop, which worked flawlessly. Go figure lol. Anyways, another long chapter for you guys. This and next chap gave me the feels and maybe some of you will be able to tell. Chapter's named after Andra Day's song.

Side note: Can't wait for the next few episodes. Meep.


"So it's true? Amelia Shepherd is dating?"

The neurosurgeon rolled her eyes playfully, "Yeah yeah yeah."

Arizona giggled, "Well for what it's worth I'm happy for you. Both of you. Hunt's always so grumpy and sullen, even more so since Riggs got here."

Riggs was nice, and a good surgeon. It made Owen very mad, and aggressive. The trauma surgeon was always on the brink of something. He buzzed, a lot. Amelia didn't buzz that much anymore.

"Tell me about it. Riggs' arrival didn't help the matter. But we've decided to make an effort this time around with a fresh start."

The two women paid for their coffee, settling down at a small table.

"How's the patient doing from that MVC earlier this morning?"

"Baby's fine. I'll page you later to follow up on that concussion."

"Torres taking care of the wrist?" Amelia asked, eyeing the blonde over her coffee cup.

"Mmm yep."

"And is she still jealous out of her mind?"

"Amy…"

The brunette cackled, "What? I'm just asking even though I know the answer."

"I don't know what Callie is feeling. I don't even think she knows," Arizona shrugged, unwrapping her pound cake. Feelings were natural. There were no 'right time' for feelings. And sometimes, you don't know what it means. Her and Callie were good at not knowing their own feelings.

"She knows. She's just in denial. Her aha! Moment will happen soon enough, and I for one cannot wait."

The suspense was killing her slowly. It wasn't a nice thing to wait for, but Amelia didn't think of herself as a nice girl. Owen thought she was, but he was just a messed up as her.

"I'm glad we're able to amuse you."

"I'm a recovering addict, I got to find my fun somewhere," Amelia smirked.

"I thought that was what sex with Owen was for," she grumbled.

"Speaking of sex, tell me you sealed the deal in New York, otherwise Natalie's shit eating grin she's had on her face makes no sense!"

Arizona had always admired Amelia Shepherd for her spunk and outspokenness. Right now- not so much.

Her relationship with Natalie had percolated through the halls and made its way all over the place. Everyone knew they were together. And it didn't cause as much outcry as she had expected. Her and Callie had been separated long enough, so the fact that they were both moving on with other people wasn't a shock. It relieved her, she didn't want the drama. Ironically.

The blonde's lack of sex was something that only a select few were knowledgeable about. It was embarrassing and pathetic; something that she wasn't willing to share with other people….

So it was just like Amelia to bring that up before lunch time. She didn't tip-toe.

"She looks pretty normal to me."

"Please," Amelia scoffed, "Don't give me that avoidance crap. I am happy, nothing can get past me."

"Apparently…"

"At least tell me it was good," the brunette whined.

"What was good?" Maggie asked breathlessly, pulling up a chair from a neighboring table. Arizona winced, knowing that this was something she might not be able to get out of now. Wonderful.

"Robbins' sex-filled vacation in New York."

"It wasn't a vacation, I was there for work," she clarified.

Amelia rolled her eyes, "You had one highly publicized surgery, big whoop. I have those all the time."

Maggie smirked, "So…was it sex-filled?"

The blonde chewed slowly, her phone serving as a prop to scroll through emails, "It was…it was fine." She was able to skin through an email concerning Sofia's dance class before looking up. The other two women were staring at her, obviously, with a mix between petrified, confused, and disbelief.

"What?"

Maggie cleared her throat, "Umm…fine?"

"You've got to be shitting me," Amelia responded flatly.

Arizona blinked, "I've never understood that expression."

"I think what she's trying to say is…that- that's it? It was fine?" the cardio surgeon asked.

"That's what I said, fine being the operative word."

"I feel like there should be more words," Amelia trailed.

Arizona chuckled, "Okay, I don't have time for this, I have surgery," she pocketed the other half of her pound cake and rose her from chair. "You guys need to get your head out of the gutter."

The seated surgeons continued to watch the other woman as she walked away.

Maggie scratched her head, "Fine?"

"There should definitely be more words."

##

"Are you sure about this?"

"Didn't I just say that?"

"What happened?"

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Nothing happened, Alex. I just feel like throwing a party." Sometimes she wonders who's more put together. Most days, her bet is on Alex.

"Do you remember what happened last time you did that?"

"That was a dinner party. This is a house party…like old times."

Alex eyed his friend warily. It came as a huge shock when Meredith revealed that she wanted to throw another shin dig at her house. Come to think of it, it had been years since then notorious frat house reached maximum capacity.

And the fact that the general surgeon was now all gung-ho about a party was weird.

"I don't get it. You want everybody to leave you alone, and now you're saying you want a crap ton of people in your house, drunk and all over the place?"

Meredith sighed, handing her tablet to the desk nurse, "I'm done wanting space. It could be fun, just like when we were interns."

"Except the fact that Izzie and Yang are gone, and George is dead…and everyone hates each other…"

The two shared a look.

"Okay, well maybe not exactly like when we were interns. Except for the booze. There will be lots of booze."

"Amy doesn't drink."

"Everybody else does."

"Once again, everybody hates each other."

"That's what the alcohol is for."

"Is therapy giving you these weird ideas?" He smacked the button for the elevator.

Meredith shrugged. There was no way anybody was getting out of this.

"Therapy gave me a lot of ideas, but not this one. I'm starting to feel normal again, and I want everyone together and having fun. And if you don't show up we're no longer friends."

"Is it going to take hours before food appears?"

"I'll order pizza."

"Fine. Are you inviting the whole hospital?"

Meredith shrugged, "At least the entire surgical floor. But, if it ends up reaching the entire hospital, then I do not care." The two stepped out of the elevators and ran right into Bailey.

"Chief, just the woman I was looking for," Meredith grinned.

Bailey eyed the pair warily, "Well what is it?"

"Grey's having a party at her place."

"…Seriously? You want to have a party, when you've been kicking everybody out of your house left and right?"

"Yep."

Bailey propped a hand on her hip, "What happened?"

Alex snapped his fingers, "That's what I said!"

"I'm considering retracting my invitation to you both," she grumbled.

"You just said I had to go or else we weren't friends."

"You're both going."

Bailey scoffed, "What if I'm busy? I do have a hospital to run you know."

"Please, you're the Chief. You're not that busy. And you accepted Blake into the program. You owe me."

"You don't hate her anymore." And she didn't. Maybe it was Derek. Maybe he came to her in subconscious and made her not hate Penny. That's what she likes to think…that Derek is still guiding her. Derek was good with emotions.

"But I did. And I'm teaching that stupid class to all the interns. You're going to my house and you're going to like it," she jabbed the shorted woman in the shoulder before retreating down the hallway.

"It might not be that bad." Alex rubbed his chin. He was used to his friend doing weird things. They all were prone to questionable actions. It was their normal. And they dove in head first every single time. Depending on the day, it made them brave, or stupid.

"No, it'll be bad," Bailey insisted. "But it wouldn't be normal if it wasn't."

"Fifty bucks says somebody cries?" the peds surgeon proposed.

"That's too easy. Somebody's definitely going to throw in the water works."

"How about, fifty bucks says somebody reveals a super duper secret, and then cries?"

"Add closet sex to that and you have yourself a bet," Bailey stated. She was good at winning bets.

Alex smirked, shaking hands with the Chief of Surgery.

"Deal."

##

"Alright Avery, we're ready for that skin graft."

"Nice, just in time for the end of your shift, huh?" he joked, accepting the skin graft from his resident and applying it to the patient.

"Heck yes. I have two more patients I have to look in on and I am done for today."

"Got a hot date?"

Callie shook her head, adding her notes to the patient's chart. "No, Penny's on call tonight. Again. So no it's just me." And she was honestly looking forward to it. There was just one more stop after the hospital and she was free. Maybe if she played her cards right, and the music was acceptable, her pants might come off.

Dancing in her underwear always made her feel better.

She sighed happily through her mask, the hum of the machines in the OR a soothing balm over her body. Callie was ready for this day to end.

"Did you ever get lonely?" She looked over from the computer. The plastic surgeon was still working carefully over the patient, his eyebrows knitted. After being a surgeon for a certain period of time, feeling and operating go together. It's like you don't know how you feel until you're cutting someone up.

"After the divorce?"

"Yeah."

Callie sighed, "Yeah, it does get pretty lonely sometimes. You realize there's all this time that is available to you, and for awhile…you don't have a single clue how to occupy it."

"I'm thinking about buying a boat."

"Okay that's a little too much," she snickered.

"I need something. I can't work myself into oblivion. We're already running the place. I just-" he looked up, "I need to just do something else except think about how April's being all casual and friendly about everything. Callie she looked at me across that table and it was like I literally felt both our hearts breaking at the same time."

Woah. She blinked. Jackson wasn't a very personal guy, at least not to her. But ever since April had gotten back from the Middle East, the two found themselves talking about their respective splits. It was a little bit of a downer, reliving the moments leading up to the end. But Callie found herself thinking about it anyway, regardless if Jackson was there or not.

"Do you…think you made a mistake?"

"No," he sighed. "No. There's no way we could have gone on like that. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt. And she's acting, happy. Like we didn't just get divorced, when before she was fighting me tooth and nail."

Callie shrugged, "Maybe she finally accepted it."

"There's something else going on," Jackson insisted. "It's not like I can ask her about it either…because we're divorced."

"That doesn't mean you stopped caring about her."

"Well how did you do it?" he looked up from the patient, his green eyes piercing through her, begging for an answer.

Callie cleared her throat, sweaty palms grabbing at the door knob.

"Page me when she's in post-op."

She didn't have an answer. Tugging her mask away from her face, Callie began to scrub out. The sooner she was out of there, the better. She could still feel Jackson's eyes on her. But nope, she was not looking up.

"Hey."

The brunette glanced to her left.

"Hey, how's your day been?" she asked brightly.

Penny sighed, "This is the first surgery I'm going into all day. It's driving me crazy."

"Well hopefully you'll get something fun later tonight."

"Are you going straight home after this?"

"Uh-no," she threw her used towel into the waste bin, "I have a couple of patients to check on before I head out. Arizona's got Sofia tonight so I'll just likely be curled up on the couch watching Great British Bake-Off with a glass of wine."

Callie tried not to sound so excited about it. Things between the pair had kind of gone back to normal over the past couple of weeks. Callie had tried and succeeded in letting the resident fight her own battles. It had been a learning curb for sure, but nevertheless, she had done it.

Her relationship with Penny was a lot different than Arizona's. The two weren't even on the same spectrum.

For one, both sought their own independence. Penny was still working resident's hours, and primarily stayed put at the hospital. Her career was her main focus, which Callie admired immensely. Callie's career was her focus as well, but Sofia always came before anything else. When there was time, the couple would get together and enjoy each other's company-sometimes, and it worked for them.

Perhaps their lives weren't as intertwined yet, as it was with Arizona. Penny and Callie weren't necessarily serious enough for that to be the case. But since Arizona and Callie had entered each other's lives, it had been full speed ahead and before the brunette knew it she was talking about spending the rest of her life with her.

There was that brief time they were apart when Arizona was in Africa. But even then Callie could not for the life of her diminish the blonde from her mind and heart. Maybe certain people hit you at different times.

Penny groaned, following the attending out of the scrub room, "I don't understand how you can watch that. It puts me straight to sleep."

"There's not much that doesn't put you to sleep these days," Callie chuckled, searching through her patient charts for today.

The redhead shifted a little closer, "We're both off tomorrow night, so I was thinking we could have dinner and then…"

Callie looked up to meet the sly eyes of the resident. "And then…?"

"It would be inappropriate to say it out loud."

The brunette nodded slowly, "Oh." And sadly enough, her first thought was her grocery list for that Chilean sea bass she really wanted to make.

"Is that alright with you?"

"Sure."

Penny blinked at her girlfriend's response, along with the manic smile on the other woman's face.

"Try not to sound too excited."

"I'm sorry," Callie chuckled, "I just-didn't expect you to say that. Of course, we'll have dinner tomorrow night and then…yeah. That'd be great. I'll cook."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I found the recipe in this magazine fo-"

"I was talking about sex."

"Penny-"

"Are you sure about the sex?" the redhead asked bluntly.

Callie looked around the room before grabbing Penny's elbow and dragging her to an abandoned hallway. Not like everybody didn't know her business since residency anyway.

"What is going on with you?" Callie whispered harshly, checking over her shoulder to make sure nobody was paying attention.

"What's going on with me? I just offered sex on a silver platter and you're acting like you couldn't care less!" the redhead hissed, shrugging off the Latina.

"That's not what I was doing!"

"Really Callie? Don't lie to me."

"I was surprised! We haven't done it in awhile so I wasn't expecting anything."

"Yeah because we haven't talked in awhile."

"Okay and whose fault is that?"

Penny crossed her arms, glaring, "That's not the point."

Callie scoffed, "Okay then what is your point?"

"I want to have sex!" Penny exclaimed, "with my hot brilliant girlfriend. I want to have a nice dinner, drink exquisite wine, make out on the couch with a cheesy movie playing. Then I want to have sweaty, crazy sex in your bedroom. And it seems like you couldn't care less, let along want that too."

Callie exhaled before closing the distance, gently pressing the resident against the wall. She leaned in, "I'm sorry. Okay? I was just caught off guard. I would love nothing more than to have dinner, and then slowly-" she kissed the side of her mouth, "drive you out of your mind. Is that alright with you?"

Her sexy voice always worked wonders on well, everybody.

Penny gulped, "Uh-huh."

The brunette winked and pecked her cheek, "Good, now run along, your surgery starts in 10 minutes." She ushered the redhead back down the hall.

Callie waited until Penny was out of sight before leaning her own body against the wall. Tugging her scrub cap off her head, she pocketed it with one hand and rubbed her forehead with the other.

How did you do it?

She didn't.

##

"I…really…need…to go."

"Did your pager go off?"

A husky chuckle traveled through the room.

"Well no but-"

"Then what's the problem?" She nipped the other woman's earlobe and ran a tongue over it, soothing the bite.

"I have to call McHale back- at Hopkins about that…congenital diaphragmatic her-hernia."

"You make that sound sexy."

Why she was thinking about anything else other than getting the beautiful specimen in front of her naked was beyond her.

This right here…this was how she knew she was not back to her old self. Because her old self would be making absolute good use of her time, among other body parts; not worrying about, well…anything else.

She had been walking through the halls after her surgery, wiping the strain from her eyes when she had been gently grabbed around the waist and steered into the nearest on call room. Natalie had her against the door within seconds, engaging her in a heated kiss and locking the door at the same time.

Like most women, she really knew how to multitask.

That was pretty much her number one requirement.

She had been surprised of course, and then a little uncomfortable. But her body was really starting to betray her. Again. Natalie was touching and kissing her in all the right places. She was nibbling on her pulse point just right and a thumb was circling around her hipbone. Arizona could do nothing but grip the brunette's waist helplessly.

They were about to reach the point of no return. But…

Her mind was going a thousand miles a second. She thought about that surgery that she really needed to call Hopkins back about, she needed to take Sofia shopping this weekend; the girl was growing like a damn weed. There was that message she had to return from Herman.

There was also that pound cake currently being squished in her pocket.

"Are you okay?"

Arizona blinked. Natalie was still up close and personal, but had pulled her face away from the blonde's neck and was looking at her in questionable concern.

"Yeah," she chirped. "I'm sorry, it's just a lot of stuff to do today…and to be honest this-" she gestured the between them, "hasn't happened here- in awhile. I'm sorry, I guess I'm just a little-"

Natalie exhaled, taking a step back, "You're uncomfortable. I'm sorry."

"No, it's not you, seriously. I was just surprised, not in a bad way." It was definitely not in a bad way.

"No I'm sorry. It's just that…I thought we had a really good few days in New York. I tend to get ahead of myself," the brunette smiled sheepishly. "It's just…are we okay? I feel like ever since we got back you've been kind of - stand off-ish. Did I do something wrong?"

"No! No. You didn't do anything wrong," she grabbed the other woman's wrist insistently. "It's me," the blonde sighed. "I had an amazing time with you, and you're great, honestly. It's just that it's been so long since I've done this, it's going to take time for me to get used to it. That's all," she declared.

Planting a confident kiss on the other woman's lips, Arizona couldn't help but smirk, "Trust me. There's nothing wrong about you."

It was one thing to gallivant around in a foreign city where nobody knew your personal life. It was another to be back at home, with everybody that knew everything about you. She liked just the two of them. There was another kind of intimacy, without it being physical. It was like a secret that only they knew. She thinks that maybe she's felt this before. Before Callie. But…there's no precise woman she remembers before Callie.

Arizona would get used to it if it was the last thing she did.

Natalie nodded, "Okay. I understand, you don't have to explain it to me. You're worth it."

Arizona tilted her head, "You're always telling me that." And it made her feel good. Really good. And it always brought a smile to her face like now. The blonde thought she was worth it in her profession. She was that good. But for anything else it now left her insecure and scared. Natalie wasn't insecure, or scared. She was sure, about everything, and when she was sure, she was mostly right.

And it made Arizona feel right, too.

Natalie placed a small kiss on one of her dimples, "Because you don't believe it yourself, so I need to remind you."

"Why?"

Callie had spent the last of their marriage trying to do the same thing and it only brought an inkling of self confidence back to Arizona's psyche. Could Natalie really surpass her ex-wife's progress? It was pathetic, thinking of herself as a science project of sorts. But even Arizona could admit to herself that she was hard work.

Callie had tried, so hard to put her back together, and in the process the Latina had broken.

"I think that you've beaten yourself up enough. I know I just got here and there's still so much I don't know about you. And that's okay, because I can't wait to find out, because you're worth getting to know. So," Natalie stated, straightening the blonde's lab coat, "as long as you allow me to, I will continue to prove to you that you are much, much better than you think you are."

"But what makes you think that? Like you said, you don't know me all that well yet."

The neurosurgeon shrugged casually, "You know when you meet someone and you can't quite place it, but you know that they're something special that you can't help but want to be apart of?"

She knew that feeling all too well.

"I know."

##

"Okay, and how did that make you feel?"

"It made me feel like crap."

"Can you elaborate?"

Callie couldn't help but roll her eyes a little.

"It made me feel…bad; like she was rejecting me."

Dr. Dawson nodded empathetically, notating something on her legal pad. Callie always wanted to know what therapists wrote down. Maybe they wrote down all the answers and referenced back to them when their clients finally figured it out. It made her want to tackle Dawson and pry the pad from her bony hands.

The ortho surgeon sighed helplessly, rubbing the back of her neck. That glass of wine couldn't have come soon enough.

"How did you respond?"

"I-I didn't understand why she was doing this. We haven't talked, like really talked since Herman's surgery…and even then it was brief. And we had such a good time with Sofia together, like we were an actual family. So when she said that-I was blindsided."

"But what did you say?"

"I argued my point, but she was pretty set in her decision. It was like, she…didn't understand. She said she would still be civil, but she didn't want to be friends. She didn't want…more. And then I slept on the couch and she went upstairs."

Therapy had gone on with Dr. Dawson since the split. It had taken her a couple of months to go back, but after the dust had settled, she had made the effort to schedule another session to the one other person who literally had a front row seat to their demise.

It was ironic that she was even sitting there. She had been opposed to therapy a lot more than Arizona had been, when it was their sessions that made her realize that she wanted to separate. Her one on ones with Dawson now had helped her immensely in moving forward and finding herself again.

She was beginning to think she didn't find anything.

The therapist had heard a lot of things from the brunette over the years, but Arizona had not been involved in that much of the conversation until now.

In hindsight she might have been intentionally leaving the blonde out.

"So why is it affecting you this much?"

"Me and Arizona haven't really been friendly with each other until recently. I guess I forgot what it was like to hang out with her without all the other…stuff."

Most people found Arizona annoying. She was too perky, too smiley, too-blonde, but Callie loved it the moment she saw her. She was like a rare creature that she had never really seen before. She was positive, where Callie had been negative. There would be days where they did nothing but talk. Arizona could talk about anything, and Callie would listen for once.

She liked to think Arizona was still the same person. Things had changed her. They…had changed each other. But every once in awhile she would see it. The surgeon who never wanted to grow up. It made her happy. She missed her. But Arizona wasn't hers to miss.

Maybe that's why she sought her out in the beginning. Asking about her dates with Natalie. Suggesting cool places to go. Her words were helpful, conversational, just so she could keep the blonde there that much longer. Maybe that's why she paged her that morning, to amaze her one more time.

There were a lot of maybe's to figure out. But Callie knew she missed her.

"Tell me about Penny."

Her girlfriend's become a mere afterthought, sadly. She doesn't think of Penny often, not unless she redhead is right in front of her. Even when she is brought up in conversation by somebody else, Callie has to think for a second. It makes her feel bad sometimes, and maybe that's why she's still with her. To make up for her emotional shortcomings.

Things aren't always dull. They have good times, good conversation. But Callie finds it hard to remember what they actually talk about now. All she remembers from today is Chilean sea bass.

Penny wasn't a bad person.

Her eyes narrowed. "What about her?"

"How are things going in your relationship?"

Callie shifted in her seat, "Well we're actually speaking to each other now, so I'd say that's an improvement."

Dawson smirked slightly, "As opposed to avoiding each other, I would have to agree. Have you two spent quality time together?"

"Not really. She's a resident you know, so she's pretty much in the hospital all the time. We go to lunch sometimes, the occasional dinner, sometimes she spends the night…"

"How about your friendship with Meredith?"

She smiles at this, "It's good. Not as...open yet. She's going through some things herself…since the attack and all. But we're speaking and hanging out. I think we'll get there eventually. She even likes Penny now."

"So all in all, you're satisfied in all areas of your personal life?"

Penny's fallen down on the list of people she thinks about. But she doesn't find it, unsatisfying most of the time. It doesn't bother her. Sofia not wanting to put her shoes on in the morning, that bothers her. When the cafeteria is out of butterscotch pudding bothers her, too.

Natalie, and her flawless face, who looks at her ex-wife like she's the answer to life, that really bothers her. Arizona, and her porcelain skin and cerulean eyes bother her. Her self-righteousness and dimples make her want to scream.

But Penny…she doesn't bother her. She needs to work on that.

Callie shrugged, "Except for Arizona, I guess."

"Okay, so let's go back to that," she scribbled, "Your interaction was very limited since the split. And recently you've become-friendly, with each other. There was a heavy moment between you before she went out of town for work. And now she tells you that she doesn't want to be friends anymore. You feel rejection because you missed spending time with her. Did she tell you why she didn't want to be friends?"

"She said that it was hard," she picked at the stray thread attached to the throw pillow in her lap, "to be friends because she still loved me…" The words came slowly out of her mouth, processing what that really meant. The fact that Arizona even admitted that, twice now, was hard for her to wrap her head around. Arizona didn't admit anything. She was a mystery like that.

Maybe it's what kept her interested all these years.

"So she wants distance…because of her feelings?"

"Yeah."

"And how do you feel about that?"

That was the million-dollar question, right? But honestly, it was pretty simple.

"I love her, too," she stated obviously. She found it very easy to admit it to other people, except for the ones that mattered. Arizona…and herself. There was a lot of time spent trying to decipher the feeling it gave her. She felt settled, resolute, almost, lighter, knowing that she was free now…but still loved Arizona anyway. It also made her furious, because this was not what was supposed to happen.

She wasn't supposed to love her, like this, anymore. Feeling like you, belong, to someone and not being with them, that bothers her too. Callie was a spur of the moment kind of girl. She didn't plan things out. But she had planned this.

Not that her life worked out as planned at all in her years of living.

"Did you tell her that?"

"Kind of, not in those actual words."

"Why?"

"Because that's still not enough."

"Why do you think so?"

"Because…" she trailed, "Just because it's not!" The Latina popped out of her seat, tossing her pillow to the other end of the couch. "We're both in relationships with people…It's been way too long to just say screw it! Let's try this again!"

Dawson followed her every move as she began to pace back and forth. Callie's heart felt constricted, her hands were clammy, and she felt a strong urge to start ranting in Spanish. Some sessions gave her immense clarity, and others made her even more confused. She wasn't sure the direction that this meeting was going to go. And she really wanted to steal that legal pad. At this point she was convinced it had all the answers written down.

All she knew was that she didn't want to be nothing again, and Arizona wanted nothing because she wanted more. They were good at the push and pull. One wanting the opposite of the other. Being at opposite sides. It was complicated.

Did Callie want more?

"Just because isn't an answer."

"I don't want to feel stuck again. I don't want to go back. And I don't want her to go back either."

Maybe that was why she gave up and went along with this…arrangement that Arizona was so adamant in having. The blonde didn't want to go back to that place of hate and depression and negativity. And it wasn't all about the leg. It was the miscarriage and the infidelity. It was insecurity and trust and communication. It was more than the leg.

Callie didn't want Arizona to go through that again. It didn't matter if they were talking or if they never had a friendship again. The brunette meant what she said in that last therapy session. She wanted so much more for Arizona than what they had then. And maybe the blonde was getting that now. Which…didn't make her feel any better.

Dawson let the brunette soak in her thoughts for a moment. The therapist was used to this kind of erratic behavior from the ortho surgeon. She had seen it before, and she most certainly would see it again. From their sessions, it was plain to see that the woman was her own worst enemy. In reality, Callie already knew the answer. It was just a matter of time before she realized it.

"Callie."

Dawson took a sip from her glass of water off to the side.

"Callie."

It took a few tries to bring the woman back down to Earth during moments like this.

The Latina was still pacing back and forth, rubbing her shaking hands together and mumbling to herself every few seconds. She had kicked her heels off half an hour ago, and the rug felt soothing under the bottoms of her feet. She had also taken her hair out of the stylish bun and would run her hands through it as well. The wheels were turning, apparently very very fast from the looks of it.

Dawson sighed, leaning her torso forward.

"CALLIE."

This time the woman flinched and stopped in her tracks. She looked towards her therapist who broke the trance she had been in. It was almost like she forgot where she was. Thinking about Arizona did that to her sometimes.

Dawson relaxed. The two women continued to stare at each other. Callie, waiting for…something. Her therapist, making sure her client was present and more importantly, listening. Dawson licked her lips before quirking an eyebrow and shrugging.

"What makes you think you have to go back?"