AN: I want to head butt Callie. I'll also accept help with hanging her upside down by her ankles.
"Hey."
Callie glanced up to meet a pair of blue eyes. She returned her gaze back to her tablet. Her day was already crap, why not make it worse?
"Yeah?"
Arizona cleared her throat, "So Sofia's birthday is next month, I was just checking in to see if she told you anything about what she wanted to do?"
"What did she tell you?"
"She said she wanted to go to that kid's center with the go carts and games and laser tag."
Callie slumped forward, "She told me she wanted to go to the zoo." Omg it's like Halloween all over again.
"Well we obviously can't do both."
"You can take her to that on Saturday and I'll take her to the zoo Sunday. It's less crowded. Problem solved."
"I thought that we could do this together," Arizona stated, shrugging in her OR gown.
The brunette scoffed, "Now you want to do something together?"
"I specifically said when it comes to Sofia, we need to be civil. You want to mess that up?" Arizona shot back.
"I'm not messing anything up. She wants to do that fun thingy with you and go to the zoo with me. It's what she wants."
"Callie she's a freaking kid, she doesn't have the attention span to know what she wants. When it comes to her birthday, she wants to do everything."
"She obviously thought about it enough to know what she wants."
"If we do things separately, she's going to expect that from now on. Like we can't be in the same room with each other. The only reason you're even going with that plan is because you're mad at me."
"Who says I'm mad…I'm indifferent," Callie smiled sarcastically, brushing past the blonde.
Arizona chuckled bitterly. She was not about to let this go. Turning on her heel, she picked up her pace to keep up with the ortho surgeon. Having just finished up on a six hour surgery, her leg was close to throbbing. But that could definitely wait.
"Oh that's real mature. I'm trying to have a conversation with you about our daughter and you want to be a brat, seriously?"
Callie shook her head, "I'm not being a brat. I'm just trying to make this easier for the both of us and avoid a meltdown when she doesn't get what she wants."
"Wow and you say I coddle her," Arizona mumbled.
"I'm sorry if I want to go out of my way to do nice things for her when her little life has been uprooted enough."
"And whose fault is that?"
If looks could kill, Arizona was pretty sure she'd be a melted puddle on the floor.
"Do you really want to go there? Because I'm pretty sure I'll win," Callie bit back.
The blonde rolled her eyes, "Might as well, seems like you're just raring to go!"
"The only reason I'm like this is because you want to bug me right when I get out of surgery!"
"You've been avoiding me all week and this is something we need to plan ahead of time. This last minute shit that you like to do isn't going to cut it."
Callie ran a hand through her hair, "I'm not avoiding you. And not all of us are control freaks."
"You are avoiding me and it needs to stop. I thought we were on the same page with all of this."
##
Maggie rolled her neck between her shoulders. She was glad to be out of surgery. Far away arguing was interrupting her post-op meditation but she was determined to remain relaxed. At least, that's what her book on anxiety said.
"Hey we're having a party tonight."
The cardio goddess opened her eyes. "Huh?" She eyed her sister, who was seated at the bench, pulling covers over her Converse.
Meditation over.
"Not a dinner party. A party party. At the house. Tonight. This is my last surgery for the day and then I'm going home to get everything ready."
"When did you decide this?"
"A few days ago." At this point in their relationship she was used to the random plans that would erupt from her half-sister's brain. It was exhausting to keep up with on some days.
Maggie chuckled, "And you're just telling me this now? What are you going to do about food?"
"I'm just ordering everything. But if you could stop by the liquor store on your way home, that'd be great. We might run out."
They were definitely going to run out.
"And all the kids?"
"I invited Linley from Plastics and he said if we rounded up enough babysitters they can all stay at his house."
"Doesn't he have a gigantic mansion?" Maggie asked warily.
Meredith shrugged, "Well yeah. But he also just had another baby last year, so it's all baby proofed. Him and his wife were really looking forward to a night out."
"And they decided to spend it with drunk co-workers?"
"I've known him since residency, before the marriage and babies. Him and his wife actually met at one of my parties. He almost cried when I told him I was throwing another shin dig," the blonde answered, tying her ferry boat scrub crap.
Maggie blinked, "How crazy do these things get?"
Meredith smirked, "You'll see. Make sure you let Deluca know."
"Right. Andrew. Exclusive."
Meredith eyed her sister carefully, "Are you okay?"
Maggie nodded, continuing to take deep breaths. "Yep, I'm cool. I'm great. And where is that noise coming from?" she whipped her head around the floor. It was generally quiet around this section of the hospital. Whether it was the death or the blood, or the concentration it was usually serene.
Meredith nodded her head towards one one of the hallways, "I think I found it." Maggie followed her gaze.
"Geez, did they always go at it like that?"
Meredith snorted.
"They barely talked before. I'd consider this an improvement."
"There's something wrong with you." Meredith patted her thighs before standing up.
"I told you we were all messed up."
##
"You assumed that we were. Aannd I'm just doing what you asked…"
"Callie you know I never said that."
"But kind of, you did," the Latina deadpanned. "I will handle it. We'll figure out her birthday. Just, get out of my face."
"Get out of your face? What are you, 16?" Arizona remembered the phrase. She had used it herself frequently. When she was living at home, with her parents.
"Right now, yes, because you're annoying the hell out of me."
Arizona shook her head, glancing at her watch, "I don't have time for this, I got to run for lunch. I'll ask you the day before Sof's birthday, maybe then you'll have a clue."
"Run along, it'd be a shame to miss your lunch date," Callie mumbled. She knew it was the wrong thing to say. She really could have said anything else and it would've been better. But she was an idiot. Dawson called it emotional confusion.
Dr. Dawson was also being paid.
Arizona inhaled deeply, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing."
"You know, instead of worrying about my relationship, you should focus on yours."
"Okay…what's that supposed to mean? I don't give a rat's ass about your relationship or whatever the hell it is."
"It sounds like you do. Once again, focus on your own relationship," Arizona leaned forward menacingly, "From what I hear, things are a little – dry."
Callie looked up from her phone slowly. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She felt her face get hotter every second she didn't respond. She was going to file her teeth down if she didn't stop. Callie honestly couldn't remember the last time she was this mad. But she did know that whenever it was, it had been aimed at the same insufferable woman in front of her.
All her most positive and negative feelings usually did.
Arizona raised an eyebrow smartly, her blue eyes challenging her ex-wife to argue that piece of information.
The brunette licked her lips, her hands gripping the device dangerously tight. She took two steps forward.
"You don't know what you're talking about." The blood was rushing to her head and she felt her face get hotter with every breath.
At first Arizona felt kind of bad for the pair. A boring or non-existent sex life was a big no-no. She knew that first hand at one point. But after the shock wore off, it left the blonde surprisingly smug and comforted in the news.
When mean thoughts trickled into her head she would feel guilty and expel it from her mind. People didn't view Arizona as somebody who had dark thoughts or malicious words. So she tried to keep up with what others expected. But lately she had felt compelled to rebel against it. And it was exhilarating.
It made her wonder if this was why everyone was so unstable. It kind of felt good.
"I don't, but it's not my fault Dr. Blake likes to share her…grievances in line at the coffee cart."
Callie was seething. "My relationship. My business. I don't go sharing things that I know about you and Castro."
"Go on Calliope, what do you know?"
Callie chuckled, shaking her head. She didn't know shit, at least nothing bad, which pissed her off even more. But Arizona was apparently feeling extra bitchy today.
"I'm not going to go there, because it's obvious I'm the better person here," she stated, crossing her arms.
"Sure, it's because you don't know anything. Natalie doesn't run her mouth all over the hospital. That's what happens when you date a mature adult."
"Is that so? Does she know you're prone to running your mouth, among other things, all over-"
"TORRES. ROBBINS."
##
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I had this conversation…with BOTH of you not too long ago," the woman stated, flipping through some reports before looking up at the two in front of her. She raised an eyebrow.
"What? You don't feel like talking now?"
Callie grumbled and Arizona had an obvious pout on her face that might have worked with Richard, or even Hunt, but not Miranda Bailey. It was cute, but not even her own son was that good.
She had been feeling good today. She started out with a nice breakfast with her family, made it to work on time, and managed to get in on a trauma, which was very rare for her nowadays. She scrubbed into that trauma surgery and saved a life, all before lunch time. In Bailey's mind, it was going to be a good day.
Until she rounded the corner of the scrub room, heading downstairs to talk to the family while the patient was in post-op. That was when she heard it.
The yelling, the insults, the seething. You could feel it before you heard it actually.
"Miranda, is this really necessary?"
"Well Dr. Torres, when two grown adults and surgeons of this hospital are arguing on the OR floor, it is necessary."
"Okay let's not act like you did this when surgeons were punching each other," Arizona interjected. Bailey glanced at the blonde briefly in shock. Apparently Arizona was still on a roll. Callie couldn't help but smirk a little. It seemed she had out grown those authority issues.
"Is what Sofia wants to do for her birthday really something to argue about…where everyone can hear how stupid you two are?"
"Bailey it really wasn-"
"That doesn't sound like an answer to my question," Bailey cut in.
Arizona fed her a look. Callie still knew what that look meant.
Calliope…shut the fuck up.
Bailey relaxed, reading the faces of the two women in front of her. "We dealt with Hunt and Riggs. And now, I'm dealing with you two. I'm only going to say this once…GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER. I don't care what you two argue about, although I heard everything, do it somewhere else, where nobody can see or hear you. Especially me."
Callie sighed, "Okay. I'm sorry." She had a lingering memory of sitting in the headmaster's office when she was 13 after punching a girl in her Physical Science class. Katie Mullen had it coming, but the Latina ended up getting in trouble and apologizing for something she didn't feel sorry for. Like now.
Arizona stood up, grabbing her pager from the conference room table.
"Robbins," Miranda started, standing up as well.
"Bailey I get it. We're done here."
"Arizona what has gotten into you?" Bailey exclaimed. The fetal surgeon had been dismissive and cold ever since she ushered them both into the nearest conference room. Her stare was ice cold, and when her eyes weren't rolling they were glued to the Chief of Surgery, as if she was trying to freeze her on the spot.
Needless to say, it wasn't like her.
The blonde chuckled, one hand on the door, "What's gotten into me is that I am so sick of you acting like everyone else in this hospital doesn't yell or scream or get angry. That for some unfair reason, it's not okay for me. I have tried and I have bitten my tongue while everyone else lashes out and still get a pat on the back. I'm not doing it anymore!"
Callie couldn't help but look on in wonder and shock. Arizona was probably still pissed at her, but it was a nice change to see this directed at Bailey for once. Speaking of, Miranda's jaw had pretty much hit the floor once Arizona started yelling. It made her stomach flutter strangely enough.
Arizona exhaled loudly, "So I'm done. If I want to have a conversation with my ex-wife-" she glanced at Callie "about our daughter and she wants to turn it into a fight, then that's what's going to happen. But don't try and berate and scold me like I'm a fucking child. It's not happening anymore. I didn't vote you onto the board and then Chief of Surgery just so you can lecture me."
Bailey sighed, "Arizona..."
The blonde raised a hand, "Save it." She looked again to her ex-wife, "Callie we will have Sofia's birthday party at the fun center that Saturday and then Sunday we are taking her to the zoo together. If you'd like to argue and embarrass each other over it some more today I'm here until six."
A whisk of golden hair later and the door shut. Hard.
Callie blew out a breath, "Well…that escalated quickly." She was still kind of reeling from her showdown with Arizona. Dry? What the hell? She was definitely having a talk with her girlfriend.
"I don't understand," Bailey said flatly.
"I think her point was pretty clear."
"And what would that be?"
"From now on she's going to start handing you your ass," Callie smirked.
Bailey glared, "It's not like you had that much of a defense either."
She sighed, "That's neither here nor there."
"You're right, it's everywhere with you two. Look, I never said anything, because I don't like getting in the middle, but I still don't get why you two split up in the first place. And you can give me the generic answer that you try to tell yourself at night but I know better. You two went years without having a real conversation unless it involved Sofia or work, and even then it was painful to watch. But this. This is worse, Torres."
"I don't know what you want me to say. I can't…I don't go try to fight with her. It's just - she's just - I don't know anything anymore."
"This was more than just Sofia's birthday party. That much you have to know."
"I knew it would be hard, but this is different. I thought it would suck for a long time, and then I would just glide through the rest of my life," Callie smiled bitterly. "And now, I'm just mad, all the time. It wasn't supposed to be this way." It was supposed to be forever. But things didn't last forever for her.
"I'm sure Arizona didn't plan it this way either."
"She didn't want any of this, it was all me," Callie murmured numbly.
"That's life, Torres. You got to live with the choices that you make. Even the wrong ones."
"You think I was wrong?"
The Chief shrugged, "It doesn't matter what I think."
Callie sighed, leaning back in her chair, "I guess it doesn't." Her fight with Arizona had taken all the energy out of her like it always did. No wonder she was tired all the time when they were together. She tilted her head. It could've been all the sex too. After the amputation it had taken months until Arizona had felt comfortable enough, but once they did, it was full steam ahead. All the time. Everywhere.
Callie had rallied and taken Penny to bed the other night, like she had promised. Apparently she wasn't convincing. Another item on her very long list of issues. When did everything get complicated? Penny wasn't supposed to be complicated. Their relationship was supposed to be easy and fun and new. This…this wasn't any of those things. She grumbled stubbornly. She still had to talk to her.
Bailey straightened out her papers and brushed past the ortho surgeon, "You going to Grey's party tonight?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Apparently I had no choice."
Maybe she was the complicated one.
##
Amelia Shepherd strolled through the halls with the ever present shit-eating grin on her face. It was Friday, and she was coming off of a 48 hour shift with the weekend off. Owen had taken her on a date, and he was an absolute gentleman. Almost too gentleman-ly. She shook her head. Get over yourself.
Sex wasn't everything. But it was a lot.
There was just one more tumor resection on her schedule and she was home free. Ideally she'd prefer to soak in the tub with Owen, but instead she was going to Meredith's house party.
As a recovering addict Amelia made it a point to avoid those kinds of things, but her presence had been demanded, and she didn't have it in her to deny Meredith's request. The two were still on somewhat shaky ground these days.
Derek would have uninvited her. He was an ass like that sometimes.
So with Owen by her side, she would make an appearance at the party and not drink. Or do drugs. Or have sex with anybody.
Rolling her eyes, Amelia opened the door to the attending's lounge. Lots and lots of caffeine was necessary if she was dealing with inebriated individuals tonight. She glanced at the only other occupant in the lounge.
Pouring a cup from the fresh pot, Amelia continued to stir in the cream and sugar, all the while observing a blur of blonde hair zooming back and forth between the couch and coffee table. She couldn't understand what Arizona was saying, there was too much screeching and grumbles to decipher anything.
Blowing gently, Amelia took her first sip. She didn't care what anyone said, coffee was the shit. It wasn't vodka by any means, but it would have to do. A few more gulps later and she was ready to go.
Arizona on the other hand, looked like she was in the middle of a breakdown.
"Should I page Psych or are you going to calm down any time soon?" she commented.
The blonde finally stopped pacing long enough to glare at the neurosurgeon. "Didn't you get in trouble for that?" She vaguely remembered the female Shepherd doing something like that to one of her fellow residents back at Hopkins.
Amelia smirked, "Oh please it was a joke like 10 years ago. Suspended from the OR for a week and I was good to go. Everyone else thought it was hilarious."
Arizona couldn't help but giggle. The other Dr. Shepherd was funny. That was one of the things she had always remembered about her. Aside from being an outstanding party girl, and the newly famous Derek Shepherd's little sister. Arizona remembered being in awe of the fact that her whole body could be moving to her own beat inside her head. But her hands…her hands were steady. They didn't waver, or flinch. Her hands were the only thing stable about her.
"Good to know. You going to Mer's tonight?"
"Yes, and before you give me a look or lecture…I will be fine."
"I know," the blonde replied simply. "You'll always be okay."
Amelia grinned. Arizona did too, but it didn't reach her eyes. Come to think of it, her smile rarely reached her eyes. The dimples were out in full bloom and her white teeth shined brightly. But her eyes remained almost dim, like a teaser of what was to come that never did. At least, not lately.
She saw it sometimes. When Natalie brought her a coffee. When she saved a patient, or when she was with Sofia. They were bright then, if only for a moment. Amelia used to see them all the time at Hopkins. Along with her hair, her hair bounced a lot too. Maybe it was the wheelie sneakers. Maybe her eyes twinkled because she was fresh and young and brilliant. Regardless, they were beautiful then, and now they were just, dim.
Glancing at her watch, the brunette leaned against the counter. "You want to talk about it?"
Arizona deflated, her right shoe thumping against the leg of the coffee table, "There's nowhere to start."
Callie drove her crazy. It was that simple. But along with Callie brought a slew of other thoughts that reached across the entire emotional spectrum. There were feelings that Arizona didn't even think were real until she met Calliope Torres. She used to think it changed her for the better. But now she thinks it ruined her. How do you explain that to someone?
Amelia eyed the other woman carefully, "Penny's a neurosurgeon."
The blonde looked up, "What?"
"Penny's a neurosurgeon. That's her specialty. Castro knows it. I know it. I also know," she dropped her body on the couch, "that I have to teach her. But I don't want to."
Arizona hummed distastefully, sitting down next to her. "That's a problem."
Amelia nodded, taking another sip from her coffee, "It is. And I know what I have to do. I know it's the right thing to do. And I will teach her…I don't know how to take her out of that box that I stuffed her into but I need to, because she could be great."
"Is it a tiny box?" Amelia looked at her incredulously. Arizona Robbins was a funny girl, too.
The brunette cackled, "It's like, the tiniest fucking box you've ever seen." The two women continued to laugh. Why and what they were laughing at, neither of them were too sure. It probably wasn't even that funny either.
Arizona wiped a stray tear from her eye, inhaling short breaths. Amelia had her head hanging off the back of the couch, still chuckling.
"I needed that."
Amelia raised her head, suddenly contemplative, "Callie put you in a box."
The blonde sighed, "Yeah, maybe."
"I don't think it was that small though, maybe a shoebox," Amelia commented. "She put you in a box so that she could move on. So that she didn't miss you, or think about you. When you do that, the pain- it's less shitty. It doesn't, consume all your thoughts and feelings. You still know it's there, but it's like you don't see it so it's not at the forefront of your every thought. And if you're good, you forget all about it."
When she thought about it, the brunette had gone through quite a few boxes, she might have been able to fill a storage unit. People had come in and out of her life who weren't necessarily good. Some were good, but she wasn't. At least not at the time. It was a method that worked very well, helped her separate. Helped her think.
"It wasn't as big a deal to her as it was to me. I realized a long time ago that…maybe it meant more to me than her. And now," Arizona gritted her teeth, "I can't talk to her, we can't be friends, we can't even co-parent at this point. I-" she shook her head, "I don't know what to do anymore. It's like every single decision I make just blows up in my face and then by the time I regain consciousness I don't even know what the hell happened or how we got here…"
Amelia nodded, knowing all too well what that felt like.
She rubbed the spot where her wedding ring used to be, "When we were at Hopkins, all I wanted was to be a surgeon and to have my brother come home safe. Marriage, commitment, babies, I actually used to have nightmares about things like that. And then Tim died and I buried myself in this hole for so long and left Maryland."
Amelia smiled sadly, "I remember." Not only was the blonde not perky, she was lifeless. A shell of who she used to be. A surgical shark who cared about nothing but the pounds of ruined flesh in front of her. Sometimes she thinks Arizona's still a shell, but not like before.
"I was…dark. I had gotten better over time at work but once I got home I couldn't even look myself in the mirror. It was just a blur of dying kids and random women. It was my personal nightmare, the first one at least," she rubbed her thigh, "I needed to leave Baltimore to start over, and I was better, back to my old self. And then Callie happened and…everything just turned into a dream. She was like this…bright light and before I knew it I was out of my mind in love. I was blinded by her light for years but - I didn't even care because I had the woman of my dreams."
It was hard not to hang onto to every word. Amelia had to refrain from holding her chin in her palm and sighing wistfully. There was a certain tone in the blonde's voice, like she was in a trance with every word that left her pink lips. It made her feel what she felt. And it made her chest bloom and ache at the same time.
Arizona smiled bitterly, "And if I wasn't such an idiot and didn't go on that plane, we would still be together and in love. Maybe have a couple of more kids. But I did get on that plane, and Mark died, and I screwed some woman who's face I barely remember," miscarried their child, "And now I guess I've been confined to a box. A box that Callie apparently likes to kick, a lot, because she's a jerk."
A mystical, beautiful creature of a jerk.
"Are you sure you're not drunk? Because you're sharing an awful lot of information to your former resident." Amelia was starting to realize that the fetal surgeon was a lot more messed up than people realized.
The blonde playfully glared at Amelia before chuckling, "What? This wasn't your plan?"
Amelia grinned devilishly, "Oh it was." She drained the rest of her coffee, "You spent a lot of time beating yourself up that it didn't work out. Maybe," she shrugged, "maybe it's time for you to put her in a box? It's only fair, right?"
Callie had been happy the whole time leading up to Arizona's new found happiness, or…whatever it was. Amelia didn't really find it fair that the Latina chose now of all times to have a problem with it. They had hung out in a group with Mer and Maggie, and Callie had always seemed very - casual about the whole thing.
To be frank Amelia found it unpleasant.
Maybe she was one of those women that had delayed reactions. Very delayed from the looks of it.
Amelia liked to cheer for the underdog. The neurosurgeon was one herself, and it seemed like everyone had put Arizona into that category when she wasn't. Like she was the pathetic and sad half of the former couple. It made the blonde look weird to her.
"I tried to put her in a box at first, and then I realized that it was pointless. What we had and how I felt about her is far too much for me to just put her in a box. Callie," she looked up, "was more to me than that."
The blonde's eyes twinkled then, and it was the same pair of eyes that Amelia remembered.
"It's not pointless if it affects your happiness. In another life, she meant more to you. But…you can't keep her in your line of vision. So, I understand that it'll be hard, but you got to force it," Amelia said helplessly.
Arizona raised an eyebrow, "Did you get in a fight with her too?"
The brunette chuckled, "No…but she left you, right? Ended things? Callie Torres should no longer dictate your happiness, or mood for that matter. And you shouldn't control hers either. I get she's a pain in the ass for you now, but only if you let her."
"I have to force it…" The words felt surprisingly foreign. Instead of succumbing to feelings that weren't realistic, she would, force it? That wasn't honest though. At least not yet. Maybe she had been going about this all wrong. Maybe she needed to take a page out of Callie's book.
"Yeah," Amelia said softly. "You can't just watch life go by, Robbins. Seriously. Let Torres go already."
She had to force it.
